kb-chang - Tumblr blog

[kb-chang]

Countless Reminiscences

Word Count: 1558

Short 1: A Perfect Chapter

        As I tread past the many paths we followed, I am reminded of the bittersweet memories that I have tried so desperately to suppress. It’s almost as if the world guides me back to this point in my life. Maybe it’s because the way we left off wasn’t to my liking, maybe because I held so much regret during that time, or maybe it’s just that time of year where I feel a great sense of nostalgia. No matter the reason, I hate this state that I am in. I don’t want to be hindered anymore. I just want to continue to live my days without regret. And despite all my efforts, our shared memories forcibly place themselves back in my head.

        It was during my most pitiful days, that you showed up in my life. I guess I lacked what you would call a clear path or goal. I was seriously in a slump. Not that I was struggling financially; I had a steady income and was supposedly able to ‘take care of myself.’ But I’d be a fool to say my life wasn’t mundane. I followed a strict and very sensible schedule during that time. I would wake up at 6:00 to shower and have a quick breakfast before I headed to the office around 8:15, 15 minutes before most of my coworkers would arrive. I’m not even trying to boast about being punctual. It was just a habit I had developed through college. I’d return home from work at around 8:00 and prepare my own dinner by 9:30. I placed little importance in my health before I had met her, and so naturally I didn’t look the greatest either. 

        Her entrance into my life was so sudden that I had no time to adjust or react to anything that she had propelled onto me. Immediately I had started to look out for my own health and started living a healthier lifestyle. It was then that I realized I didn’t enjoy my career at that time. I had realized that there was no point to working there if I didn’t truly enjoy it. I had thought taking on more work was the proper thing to do for my coworkers and everyone else in the office. It was the lifestyle that she brought upon me that I had truly appreciated. In fact, my appreciation for it was what led to our separation. After the grand entrance of Sally, I no longer felt the passion or fire. Soon after that I had sought for someone else who could replicate that same feeling Sally had given me. It was after I had made my gravest of all mistakes that I realized, I didn’t deserve anything Sally had given me. Ever since she left that day, I have slowly dwindled back into my former self. Perhaps it is better to maintain a proper and regular lifestyle. Perhaps my experience with Sally was only a small chapter of my life, quite a splendid one at that. 

Short 2: A Summer Day’s Longing

        It felt just like yesterday that I could hear the sizzling pan, smell the wonderful fragrance that was my grandmas’ cooking as I ran back from the forest to her house. My tumbling footsteps were much too audible as I sprinted as fast I could through the forest to satiate my hunger. As I approached the dining table, there would be a wonderful and breathtaking meal waiting for me. Even till this day, I believe my grandma had the potential to open a Michelin star restaurant. The best thing about her cooking was that the presentation wasn’t even the slightest of her concern. Her focus was solely on the taste and for that, I am still grateful. Till this day, I remember the explosion of flavours in my mouth. A good portion of my youth was spent pondering around and bugging my grandma. It was truly a time where I didn’t have a single worry, a time where I can freely enjoy spending time with my family during the hot and bright summers. She lived in a rural area of Kyoto, so I had lots of freedom to explore the wilderness.

        It has already been five years since her passing. I never imagined her passing would come so soon. It was the day I had finished my college entrance exams. I had just left the testing site, knees still shaking, stomach still turning. It was undeniably the most nerve racking day of my life. Having passed just the second week of January, it was still quite cold in Tokyo. Luckily at that time, I had the scarf my grandmother had knitted for me. It was just as I had taken the first step outside the exam site gates that I received the call. I simply thought I saved myself the trouble of having to call my parents to let them know of my performance in the exam, but soon I found out it was something entirely different. For the first few seconds, I could hear nothing but the heavy and disoriented pattern of my fathers’ breath. It wasn’t until my father had said my name over the phone that I had realized, bad news was coming. Before I knew it, my body collapsed on the campus ground. Distant voices started growing closer. Although at the time, I couldn’t entirely hear it, but I have reason to believe they were asking, “are you okay?” In that instant, everything around me became a blur, nothing could clearly register into my brain. The only thing I felt in that moment was immense regret and crippling pain in my heart. Words simply wouldn’t come out of my mouth. As much as I wanted to assure everyone around me I was okay, I just couldn’t manage to say anything. 

        After postponing many times with my grandma, I was so determined to finish strongly on my entrance exams, so I could properly spend time with my grandma. In the end, my postponing all went to waste. In those brief and sudden moments, something felt hollow inside me. Despite that being a very excruciating time in my life, I can confidently say I have learned a lesson from it. For the things that you truly value and love, do not let it go to waste, do not waste any time. Instead, cherish it and protect it. It just so happened that for me, it was my grandmother that I had truly cherished and loved.  

Short 3: Anticipation of Spring’s Day

Prologue

        “Are you certain there won’t be any complications? Even though you have gained the support of his majesty, I feel as though other clans won’t sit by and remain indifferent." 

        Reaching over, General Xiao grabs his wife's hand with assurance. “My wife, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. If Lixiong is truly unhappy with our progressions, then we can arrange a discussion between the two of us. Besides, if I couldn’t handle a little inconvenience, we wouldn’t be where we are today, would we?” 

        “Father, I am finished with my studies for today. If you have any free time, I would love to learn more about your swordsmanship!” 

        Laughter filled the room “If you were more talented in your physical strength or stamina, I would gladly teach you. However Baiyun, I wish for you to grow up living for yourself, not for me or anyone else. Clearly you are gifted in your studies, and as a father I couldn’t be more proud. Both mother and I, and everyone within our clan believes your future will grow to be very promising”. 

        While the Xiao family concluded their day, the winter making its first apparent night, Xiao could not wait for the future he had envisioned for his family. However, the clan had other plans for that very night. Faint and nimble footsteps filled the lands of  Mong Yue. No tread to be heard. No footprint to be discovered. No figures to be seen. Within five minutes of their arrival, the entire area was marked and surrounded by members of the Yunchong clan. Despite the Xiao family’s recent success and progressions, they were still considered to be a smaller and less respectable clan. As fortunate they were recently, their vulnerability was too conspicuous to be ignored. The leader of the Yunchong clan had decided to take advantage of that night. 

10 years later

        That spring night was the last time I could ever listen to my fathers’ endless stories, my mothers heavenly laugh, and the lively activities that went on in my clan grounds. It was a swift and efficient sweep of our clan grounds. Any resistance against the Yunchong clan was futile that night. Not a day goes by without me reminding myself of the horrors that occurred that night. It’d be violating our clan name to simply call the Yunchong clans’ actions unjust. Screams filled the air, red stained the grass, fires erupted from each family house. Some would say my survival was a miracle, a one in million chance. Through these past ten years, I have never ceased the chance to carry out my vengeance. I am well prepared for the consequences. I have had to live my life devoid of family. Each day passes slowly as I anticipate your last spring night. I’ll always be watching from afar, waiting for your most vulnerable state. 

Works Cited

“Flavors of Youth: Aesthetic Food, Food and Drink, Food.” Pinterest, 27 July 2020, www.pinterest.ca/pin/555772410264018942/.

“Joe Hisaishi - Summer.” YouTube, YouTube, 16 Jan. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0GN40EL1VU. 

https://www.gettyimages.ca/videos/salarymen?phrase=salarymen&sort=mostpopular

“Spring Night.” Desktop Nexus Wallpapers, anime.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1374911/. 

“HD Wallpaper: Eyes Illustration, Anger, Haze, Hatred, Darkness, Black Color.” HD Wallpaper: Eyes Illustration, Anger, Haze, Hatred, Darkness, Black Color | Wallpaper Flare, www.wallpaperflare.com/eyes-illustration-anger-haze-hatred-darkness-black-color-wallpaper-qaoty. 

“Eric周興哲《其實你並沒那麼孤單 You Are Not Alone》Official Music Video.” 15 June 2020.