keeplibrariesweird

[keeplibrariesweird]

I love where I work, but I hate where I do it.

The first few years of this job were great. I felt valued. I felt like the work I was doing was important to not only me but those around me.

I knew the work I was doing was positively impacting students, and I knew that because they told me. I knew I was doing my job very well because my direct supervisor told me all the time, but that's where it ended.

After a while it started to feel like the things I did only mattered to the people who directly benefited from it. It was nice, but I wanted to hear from the administrators that I was doing a good job. That never really happened - unless the work I did made them look good.

As a librarian very early in their career that validation and praise could have done a lot for my confidence.

As library employees, we often look to our administrators for guidance, believing they've been through it all, right? If anyone knows what it means to be a librarian it's them, right? We can only hope to make an impact like they have, right?

When I realized I wanted to pursue librarianship for my career I told people that I want to be a library director because I want to be someone that could make change happen. I wanted to be someone that embodied what it means to be an information professional despite the politics that come with higher education.

I wanted to be someone that inspires others to be a librarian. To me, that's what it means to be a leader within a library.

The lack of empathy and passion I experienced during my years at this job motivated me even more. I need to prove to other people that we aren't all like that. We care. We really do care.

"A library is a house of hope. It's a place where we all, whatever our situation, can feed our ideas and develop our dreams." - Doug Wilhelm

I'm not going to spend this post bashing my previous deans, but I wanted to talk about how much of an impact library administrators can have on their staff.

Many of my colleagues and I became increasingly unhappy in our jobs. We weren't excited to come to work. It truly felt like nothing we did mattered. Working at a job with such a toxic atmosphere was disheartening and I couldn't wait until I graduated so I could finally get out of there. While looking for jobs post-masters I thought well, nowhere can be worse than here.

Though my experiences with administration have been disappointing, they’ve taught me an important lesson: the true value of my work lies in the connections I build with students. I no longer seek validation from those above me, but instead focus on the people I’m here to serve. My goal now is to create a space where students feel seen, supported, and inspired—because, in the end, they are the reason I became a librarian.

While I may have shifted my focus away from administration, I haven’t given up on making a difference. I’m more determined than ever to show others that, despite the challenges, librarianship is a profession rooted in care and community. And maybe one day, when I’m in a position of influence, I’ll be the kind of leader who remembers that it’s the people, not the politics, that matter most.