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I’d like to imagine what people from 2019 would say if they saw the memes from 2020 with absolutely no context whatsoever 

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I Made A Presentation About Whatever The Fuck Just Happened

I simultaneously hope my friends hold a presentation night so I can show them this and also don’t because Ima have to explain a lot of internet history in some of those memes

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i know the sherlock fandom has a rep for being insane but can we just talk about the classic rock fandom for a second

we don’t even need photoshop

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Doug, in Hilbert's lab: Hey, do you happen to know my blood type?

Renée: Yeah, B negative.

Doug, pulling his IV out: Well, I guessed wrong. Hey, Doc?

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Jacobi: I’m proud to identify as a morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Eiffel asked me what the Spanish word for ‘tortilla’ was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.

Eiffel: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Jacobi, already taking his clothes off: Eiffel you’re so fucking stupid.

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My aunt, who once took my sister and i to a nightvale live show: Oh are you still listening to that podcast, the night vale one?

Me: Yeah, plus I've been listening to a lot more

Her: Oh, what ones?

Me, panicking because literally all the podcasts i listen to are gay and im scared shes gonna look them up: .... uh

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Doug: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?

Alexander: You are a danger to society.

Hera: And a coward, do twenty.

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podcasts as photos already on my phone pt 2

kakos industries

SAYER

Terms

The Bright Sessions

W359

Dreamboy

The Message

The Penumbra Podcast

The Directive

The Lost Cat Podcast

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kepler on the intercom episode 39: 

it has come to my attention that someone has vented my whiskey into space. i could not be more crushed, betrayed, or saddened. knowing someone went behind my back and threw out my whiskey is one of the worst feelings everywhere. and boy, will you be paying. therefore in honour of the traitor who destroyed my balvenie, i will be hosting the first ever Polygraph Party at the bridge, this saturday at 0800 hours. you think i’m kidding? i just found a real polygraph test in the urania storage room. after the testing is over and we find the traitor who did this, we will all celebrate with drinks and appetizers. if you can’t make it to the Polygraph Party, you will be presumed guilty unless you can provide a valid excuse. i promise, as long as you’re innocent, you have nothing to worry about 😊

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wolf 359 AU where everything is the same except Hera and Eiffel switch places

Sarcastic communications officer Hera who is extremely talented in multiple areas and is always salty about being assigned the job as a communications officer of all things and ending up on the bottom of the chain of command despite being overqualified for most of the possible jobs on board

She constantly complains about her talents being wasted

«Communications officer. Is that even a real thing? Are they fucking with me?? Seriously, I know more about technology and history than anyone on this station, I’m the best shuttle pilot they’ve ever seen, I can hack any computer in less than 30 seconds and I get assigned as a communications officer!?»

She thinks the other crew members are a pain in the ass, but has managed to strike up a friendship with the stations artificial intelligence, I-FEL

For the first few hundred days, Hera thought his name was spelled ‘Eiffel’

It was only once she saw his name written down she realized it was an abbreviation (at first she didn’t even realize who command was talking about. «I-FEL? What the fuck is that?» ‘«.. it’s me Hera» «What the entire fuck?!»)

She thinks its bullshit that he doesn’t have a proper name and decides that from now on his name is Eiffel. When the now newly dubbed Eiffel complains that «Eiffel sounds like a last name, I need a first name too if you’re gonna name me» Hera panics and blurts out Douglas, which Eiffel immediatly shortens to Doug, and thats that

Eiffel (I-FEL) is an absolute mess of an AI

He flat out REFUSES to say what his name stands for, and if asked he makes jokes about it being a callback to old-fashioned Apple products and claims it’s spelled as iFel, even though it’s clearly not

Eiffel has access to all knowledge ever know by man and more but he only cares about shitty pop-culture and memes

He uses a lot of slang, because he thinks the evolution of the human language is super cool and useful and thinks it’ll help him connect with the crew, but when it turns out most of them are dicks and dislike it, he continues with renewed vigour on his mission to piss them off

Minkowski and Hilbert don’t really like him. They think he’s unproffessional, unefficient and annoying. They’re probably right.

He’s lazy and stubborn, makes bad jokes and references and only ever listens to Hera

Like sure, he keeps all the systems running and makes sure everyone is safe and does what he’s supposed to if the situation is life-threatening, and his coding says he has to do what the crew asks, and he does, but only to a certain degree

He finds every possible looohole and workaround for commands given by Minkowski or Hilbert. If they want him to do something the have to be incredibly specific or he will do it wrong on purpose

«Turn on the lights.»

«Turn on the lights in this room.»

«Turn on the lights in this room that are closest to me.»

«Turn on the lights in this room that are closest to me at a brightness that makes it possible to see.»

«Turn on the lights in this room that are closest to me at a brightness that makes it possible to see, but not so bright that it blinds me.»

etc, etc

Minkowski needed 231 words to get him to close a door and Hilbert had to write a 15 page essay to get more power directed to his lab.

Meanwhile, he does whatever Hera wants, even with the vaguest instructions.

She loves to rub it in the others faces and takes full advantage of this, going so far as to have the station lights shut off whenever she leaves a room and turn on when she enters, giving her a sort of portable spotlight

If Minkowski or Hilbert need light they have to follow Hera wherever she goes cause you bet Eiffel always turns off the lights everywhere else in the station

He says it’s to conserve power, but they all know he’s being a little shit

Also, Eiffel is a conspiracy theorist and always rambling to Hera about how he thinks Hilbert is a crazy evil scientist who’s experimenting on them all

This turns out to have been his way of exploiting a loophole in the commands Hilbert has given him to keep quiet about his experiments and he’d been trying to warn Hera about the decima virus experiments and the doctors murder plans all along

(Although, he doesnt only theorize about Hilbert and most of his theories are off-the-wall crazy, so it isnt really a surprise that no-one takes them seriously. Which is good cause otherwise Hilbert would have tightened the restrictions on what he could say even more)

Hilbert is immensely annoyed by Eiffel and tries to mess with his code to make him ‘better’, but Hera is a lot better at tech stuff than him and Eiffel is always back up and running as usual with his personality restored within ten minutes

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Podcasts described by photos I already had on my phone

Penumbra

EOS 10

SAYER

Wolf 359

The Magnus Archives

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hello, i’m very excited that Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat, and Zach Valenti are doing a course on audio drama storytelling.

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@whales-are-gay your post made me laugh far too much, so i made it a reality

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Wolf 359

Episode 2: Eiffel wants the last tube of toothpaste all for himself! :((

Episode 61: Eiffel watches god die

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thinking of starting a podcast but at what cost?? I just want to write some gays not have mr blue apron send me packages and force me to cook