kel4000
the things and the stuff
"Oh heeeeeey."
- Kelsey McDonough
Check me out on a REAL blog that people actually read:
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Man doesn't even know if he's been to Mars or not heh heh heh #totalrecall
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Tis the Sneezon for Christmas Craftz
I have a cold. Thus, I follow my cold weather pity party routine:
Barricade myself in my house, ignore any human contact outreaches
Throw on my holy leggings (no religious power involved in this leg wear, just several actual holes)
Make a zillion-song Spotify Christmas playlist (mostly Justin Bieber jams - if you can't be completely honest during the holidays, when can you?)
CRAFT!
I really like the concept of hanging stockings, but most store-bought versions are either super mom-boring or jazzy-tacky which makes me fall asleep and then barf. Super dangerous.
So I painstakingly perused Pinterest for about 45 seconds and found this fairly simple pattern. I definitely doubted myself at times, but thankfully I was watching a Bo Jackson documentary at the same time, so that really helped me power through because GOALS AND HARD WORK AND STUFF.
Anyway, ta-daaaah!
And then I accidentally recovered a pillow in this Sexy Christmas Man print. Whoops. It's going on the living room couch. My boyfriend is thrilled.
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The Great Feminism Misunderstanding
Today at my usual morning coffee date, the men in my group were having a pretty ridiculous conversation about how bras could be “better.” All of their ideas were completely nonfunctional of course (clip-on wings, less sturdy clips so it would be easier for someone else to take off of you, etc.), but one of our teammates is a bra designer, so the topic is a favorite of theirs. After they ran out of ideas, a lady friend and I rolled our eyes while I said something to the effect of “just hearing those bra conversations automatically demotes me to a lesser level of feminist.” She laughed and agreed, after which our guy friend piped in and said, “I wouldn’t consider either of your feminists.”
I immediately felt my adrenaline start pumping as I geared up to defend my position. “I am absolutely a feminist” I said, trying to keep my eyes from widening to the point of popping out of my skull. He looked at me skeptically and asked, “Really?” I explained that feminists don’t have to be angry, hairy arm pitted lesbians that would rather live in a world without men because feminism is actually the concept that women are humans, just as men are and, thus, we deserve to be treated equally. Feminism has nothing to do with extremism, violence or dominance. Instead it has everything to do with value, respect and fairness.
I left coffee early saying I was going to work to google Hillary Clinton quotes.
Later on another friend texted me this: “He felt bad after you left coffee. He was sorry that he offended you by questioning your commitment to feminism.” While I appreciate this, I wish he was saying that he now understands what I was trying to explain. I know he was trying to say that he didn’t think I was a radical feminist, but it breaks my heart every time someone swears off feminism because they don’t understand what it truly means. I’m not saying my male friend is in any way a monster that’s making life harder for women, but I am saying this:
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♥ Footballs 'n' Cookies ♥
NEWZ ALERT: I have decided that Atlanta will be my footballs team this season because of this man, Osi Umenyiora. I have yet to figure out how to pronounce his name, but I can already tell that we have similar values.
Aaaaaand
Being the newest Atlanta fan and, thus, having fresh eyes on the situation, I'm proposing they change from the Falcons to one of these suggestions for the reasons of (1) FUN, (2) rhyming/alliteration (3) branding opportunities:
Atlanta Santas
Lots of cookie options here.
Atlanta Atlases
This would help combat their "streets" reputation.
Atlanta Fantas
Like whuttt? Yum.
H/T to Christian for finding something that would make me care about footballs (cookies).
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Dip Dye Chairs
Huzzah! I accomplished something on a Sunday! I giveth you... dip dye chairs!
I really like this example (below), but for £395 I was all "SAY WHAAA?!" and set out to make my own.
I wanted a more ecclectic look anyway, so I thrifted three different wood chairs from Goodwill ($11.27 total! Or £8.23 if you swing that way.) and painted them all to look slightly different, but still "dipped." I thought about staining them all first so they'd start out as the same color, but then I remembered that I really wanted to catch up on Sherlock, so PASS.
I used up some leftover white paint (primer included) we had from painting the trim in our bedroom and used electrical tape to mark off where I wanted my lines (I think it sticks to wood way better than painting tape does). Two coats and 1.5 hours later and TV TIME YEAAAH LET'S GETTA PIZZA!
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"Umbrella Dance" Original choreography by @kel4000. Filmed by @dahlager. (at The Anchor Fish & Chips)
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2013: The Year of the Kel
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My favorite grayscale present wrapping tools:
Brown parchment paper (stamps in gray ink)
String
Pages from an old textbook
Black & white photos
Origami bow tutorial
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OMG IS THIS ME?
Reminds me of that reggae-induced identity crisis I had in the Wisconsin Dells :-/
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Happy birthday, my queen!
Britney seeing her wax figure for the first time :-/
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Obi-Wan is my employer's internet patrol.
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