kelsywrites

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 1

“Oops.” The word stumbled out of her mouth as she landed looking up and seeing a man on a skateboard coming straight towards her. With no time to react, she braced herself for impact.

         Glancing up in time to see her he quickly shifted his weight causing the skateboard to skid to a stop. Their bodies collided as he rotated, catching her as they fell to the ground.

         “Shiznits…” his voice came out airy as he untangled his limbs from hers, his gaze wandering over her body, “I’m sorry…are you hurt?”

         Her response started with a giggle as she took his hand and recovered to her feet, dusting herself off, “shiznits…what year are we in? I’m quite all right, thank you.”

         “Glad you’re okay, I’m usually a lot more careful around here with all the foot traffic.”

         “Where exactly are we? I was trying to make it to 12th and Rowe…”

         His right eyebrow curved up at her remark, his eyes taking in her twisted dark auburn side braid and her ocean jasper eyes. Something about her caught him off guard, maybe it was the olive-green jumpsuit she wore, the way she talked, or the way she seemed to come out of nowhere. “It’s actually a few blocks that way…” He paused and pointed across the street, “Three blocks that way then one block left…you’ll cross over the train tracks and go one more block before taking a left.”

         “Thank you,” she smiled and looked over her shoulder in the direction he gestured.

         “I’m Terrence…Terry…my friends call me TJ.”

         She glanced back at him and noticed his extended hand. “Deni…CJ..."

         His brows furrowed together as a quirky smile broke across his face, lighting up his dark brown eyes. “Let me walk you…that side of town isn’t the safest…I’m assuming you’re not from around here Deni…CJ?”

         “Just popped in for a quick trip. And you don’t have to I’m sure I’ll be all right.”

         “I insist,” he started walking carrying his skateboard in his left hand, Deni following slightly behind on his right.

         “I like your jumpsuit…it’s different.”

         “This old thing…” She twisted as she tugged at the zipper and pulled the sleeves off, tying them around her waist, revealing a dark grey tank. “Didn’t realize it was going to be so hot here.”

         The more she spoke the more he found himself enamored with her.

         “I like your flannel,” Deni said giving him the one over. He wore a white shirt, blue jeans, and had a grey-blue flannel wrapped around his hips. TJ gave her nostalgic 90s vibes and made her question what era they were in.

         “Thanks…it was my dad’s.”

         Her eyes searched his momentarily, “Was? As in he passed?”

         TJ nodded.

         “Sorry for your loss.”

         “What about your parents?”

         Instead of answering she gave a nonchalant shrug as they crossed over the second block nearing the train tracks.

         “You’re not much for talking about yourself?

         “There’s not much to say about me…”

         “Got nothing? Not even where you’re from? What you do? Favorite color?”

         “Purple.” Smiling she glanced from him to the sidewalk, “what about you?”

         “Not to sound super corny but your eyes are very unique…Swear I’m not hitting on you…maybe I am.” His laugh was carefree, “No just haven’t seen eyes that color before…reminds me of this jasper ring my grandma had. Beautiful green and blue, like the ocean.”

         Deni found herself blushing, “That’s quite the compliment. What were you listening to?” She glanced back up at him.

         “Here,” he pulled the headphones from around his neck and handed them to her as he hit play.

         Immediately the music started playing and she couldn’t resist the way it made her want to sway. As the lyrics started, she found herself walking and twirling to the rhythm. “We get it almost every night. And when that ol’ moon gets big and bright it’s a supernatural delight. Everybody was dancing in the moonlight…”

         TJ found himself grinning uncontrollably watching her feel and enjoy the music. It seemed to free and loosen her. When the song came to an end, she turned to him beaming, her eyes shimmering.

         “Thank you. I haven’t heard that one before I really rather enjoyed it.”

         Laughing he took his headphones back peeling his eyes from hers, trying hard not to get lost in them, “Well she likes music…Do you have a favorite song or artist?”

         Deni was walking slightly ahead of him now and he watched as her shoulders shrugged again. After a moment she glanced back at him pausing to let him match her pace.

         “I enjoy experiencing new things.” She glanced around their surrounding and stopped in front of what looked to be an old pawn shop.  The store itself had black paper over the windows and looked dim inside. “Here we are. I appreciate you escorting me, I very much enjoyed your company TJ.”

         He bit his lip momentarily thinking and gathering up his courage. “Deni it was very nice to meet you.” Pausing he shook his head slightly, his eyes never wavering from hers, “You’re someone I’d like to get to know more.”

         The genuine smile that spread across her face and lit up her eyes seemed to warm the space between them. “I’d like that…” she pulled her gaze away and glanced at her off-brand grey sneakers as she bounced on her heels. “But I’m not here long, I’ll be leaving soon after this stop.”

         “I figured…what are you doing in there anyway…Seems sketch?”

         “You ask a lot of questions.” At that, she turned and walked inside. The glass door made a thud as it shut behind her.

         Her sudden disappearance left him stunned and he stared after her, the warmth of her presence gone with her leaving a chill over him. TJ shook his head in disbelief wondering if all that had just transpired had really happened, something about it felt more like a daydream than reality. After a few moments, he finally forced himself to turn and head back.

         Two steps and a bang erupted from behind him, it sounded like gunfire but different. His heartbeat thudded in his ears as he stepped back towards the shop knowing for sure it had come from inside. There was a sudden bright flash from inside the door and then darkness. Instinct rather than logic had him pulling the door open and crouching through glancing around for Deni.  Seeing no immediate threat to himself and no sign of Deni he quickly looked around the clearly vacant and ancient shop. Empty counters separated him from the back of the shop. Old newspapers and trash littered the floor, dust caked the walls and counters, and danced through the little daylight that trickled in.

TJ quickly searched around for the girl that had moments before seemed to touch his world and then vanish. Was it just a dream? Rounding one of the counters he found her laying across the floor clutching her side and struggling to breathe. Her eyes clenched shut in apparent pain.

“Deni,” he whispered urgently dropping to her side.

Her eyes flung open, and worry filled them, “You’re not supposed to be here…what are you doing here?”

“I heard something and was concerned you were in trouble. Shit…you’re bleeding.” His brow furrowed together; his eyes darkened with emotion.

“You need to go.”

He ignored her as he whipped off his flannel and pressed it against her gaping wound.

“Terr…no…” her voice caught in between her jagged breaths, “Your flannel.”

“Shhh. Come on. My sis works at a clinic not far from here.”

At first, she went to protest but his serious gaze and her weakened state caused her to give in.  He quickly picked her up, his arms cradling her tightly against him, as he hurried back out the door and to his right up the street.

Busting through the clinic doors, Deni was unconscious but breathing, TJ breathing heavily fought to find his voice as Edith glanced up from the desk.      

“Mira…”

Edith was already up and moving towards the doors to the exam area, “Bed 3 is empty. I’ll grab Mira.”

By the time he had laid her down on the gurney, Mira had rounded the corner. “TJ what’s…” Seeing the dire situation she zipped her lip as she quickly assessed the girl’s condition. Edith helped to get vitals on the girl as Mira addressed the wound, “What happened TJ?”

“I have no clue sounded like a gunshot but doesn’t look like a GSW.”

“Haven’t seen anything like this. Thankfully it looks like even though the wound is deep there is no serious damage.” Mira stitched the wound, “Edith I want whatever tests we can run.” She glanced at the girl’s vitals once more, “She seems to be rebounding quickly so…” she paused glancing back around, “Tj…” her hands reached for the blood-soaked flannel. “You did good…she could have lost a lot more blood…I’ll see if Patty can get the blood out of this for you.” Her voice was soft as she glanced up at him. “Who is she?”

“Her name’s Deni…CJ. I don’t know just met her today. She asked for directions and then…I don’t know what happened.”          “What do you know?”

He found himself shrugging as he glanced over at Deni and then back to his sister, “I think she’s alone…”

Mira’s eyes softened and she nodded knowingly. “You can stay with her. We will run these tests and monitor her vitals. I can’t keep her overnight…you know…but once I’m sure she’s stable you can take her to Stanley’s for the night. I’ll be there tonight so I can keep an eye on her.”

“Thank you, Mira.”

Hours ticked by as Terrence watched over Deni anxiously. His sister and Edith kept an eye on vitals and ran tests. When she finally stirred, he jumped to her side grabbing hold of her hand without thinking. Her eyes struggled to open and adjust to the lights.

“Terrence?” her magical eyes seemed somewhat dimmer than he remembered as she blinked at him.

“You’re safe. Mira, my sister took care of you. You should be good to go soon.”

He watched her eyes search the room and then land on his hand clasped around hers. TJ went to pull away suddenly, feeling like he had crossed a line. Her grip tightened on his, and he glanced from her hand back to her eyes. They were closed. He watched her swallow and struggle to form words.

“TJ…I’m scared.”

In response, he squeezed her hand. “I’m right here, Deni…you can rest. I’ll be here.”

She nodded slightly, gently squeezing his hand in gratitude. He watched as her breathing evened out and became soft as she fell asleep again.

Mira cleared her throat from behind him and he turned around. Something about the way she looked at him made him uncomfortable, then she motioned for him to step outside the room.

Nearing her she spoke softly, “she’s healing quickly…she should be good to go soon. Her blood results have left me with more questions than answers though…” her eyes danced from his to the girl laying there. “And the way she’s healed.”

“What do you mean?”

Mira shook her head softly and her eyes seemed distant, “I’m not sure…doesn’t really make sense…I’ll give her some more time to rest and call Stanley to come to pick you two up. I’ll discharge her in an hour or so.” There was a long pause before Mira turned then stopped again and looked over her brother, “Be careful TJ…I know you and I resonate with people that are on their own…but you need to be careful.” She chewed on her lip as she held his gaze pleadingly.

“I know and I am Mira…I promise.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 2

Stars danced through the darkness like little happy beams growing brighter as they passed and faded into the distance. The sensation was dizzying but exhilarating while also somehow leaving her in a state of mesmerizing tranquility. She was lost but right where she was supposed to be. Fear lingered in the dark recesses of her mind shadowed by the strange warmth that enveloped her and the soft melodies that tickled her ears.

The darkness seemed to disintegrate into a soft glow becoming harsher as her eyes fluttered in search of the luminescent lights that had moments before twirled about her.

She stirred awakening him from his light sleep in the sofa chair across from her. TJ sat up and watched her lashes flicker. When her eyes opened, she inhaled sharply and stared at the ceiling over her.

Wood panels slanted above her made her realize she was in a strange place. Without moving she continued to stare up taking in the sensation of the velvety blanket, the golden glow of light from the far corner of the room, and the gentle voice of a woman singing accompanied by instruments that only seemed to draw attention to her voice and melody. The music caused her to pause. Her eyes closed briefly as she slowly released her breath and listened.

“Deni?”

That voice triggered memories shattering the serenity of the music. Her head turned, “TJ?”

His smile was small, and concern shadowed his eyes, “How are you feeling?”

“What’s that music?”

His smile grew and he glanced at the boom box behind her head on the nightstand. “It’s Frou Frou. What do you think?”

TJ had been here with her this whole time. Wherever here was? He had rescued her. When she had first seen him, she was convinced their paths would only touch briefly before she moved on, now she wondered if there could be more to their timeline. Her gaze wandered over him taking in his coffee-like skin tone, his dark chocolate eyes, and his bright smile… all of him was warm and inviting. The thing that struck her most was the way he felt not only warm but familiar and safe. That was new to her, strange even. He was a stranger and reasoning told her to be cautious and weary. But every sense in her body told her she was safe and where she was supposed to be…even if this wasn’t the initial plan.

Nodding she finally responded, “it’s comforting.”

“It’s my sister’s…”

Deni shifted her head and glanced around the room. Her eyes landed on a picture on the nightstand next to the boom box. “Who’s that?”

“That’s my dad and Stanley.” He handed her the picture so she could get a better look, “We are at Stanley’s house. He picked us up last night. I don’t know how much you remember you were pretty out of it from painkillers when we left the clinic.” TJ watched as she studied the picture and thought back to how she slept on his shoulder in the back of Stanley’s Ford. “Stanley was one of my dad’s best friends. They were in a bad accident. Dad didn’t make it and Stanley suffered some severe injuries. Mira stays here sometimes and helps with recovery and physical therapy after surgeries and stuff.”

“When was the accident?” She asked out of curiosity but more so to get a better reference on time. When TJ didn’t answer she glanced up at him. He seemed to be off in another world. “Terrence…I’m sorry about your flannel.”

His gaze shifted as he blinked and then focused on her eyes, “it’s nothing…” his brows furrowed together and he settled on the bed next to her holding her gaze intently, “I have so many questions.”

“Well, me first…you’re quite an enigma TJ.”

“Me?!” he sputtered, “I’m the enigma?” He laughed heartily. When he regained his composure he smirked at her, “You’re the unsolvable Rubik’s Cube…Deni…CJ…whoever you are…”

“Rubik’s Cube?” she slowly eased herself up into a sitting position, “your music taste ranges decades, your attire is straight 90’s and you have a boombox.”

TJ’s eyebrows shot up, “that makes me an enigma…well cultured and maybe slightly outdated…but far from as puzzling as you sweetheart.”

“There you go again!”

“What?”

“Your vocabulary…”

“What about my vocabulary?”

“Shiznits…sweetheart…the way you talk to a woman while charming is albeit confusing.”

“The way I talk?! No, no, no…Deni…” he shook his head chuckling, “I see what you are doing…”

“What’s that?”

“Evading the question…borderline gaslighting.”

“What’s gaslighting?” The question left her lips instantly the word gaslighting tumbling around in her mind. She couldn’t place it. Something familiar but didn’t seem to fit the context.

“Tell me what happened in that old shop.”

Her gaze shifted from his to her hands and she remained quiet, her fingers working each other in and out of knots. “Honestly, I’m not too sure…” She spoke softly and her voice trembled. “Whom I was supposed to meet with and transfer the message and article too wasn’t there. And whoever was there got away with it and my watch…”

Still, confused but trying to focus on the details that seemed to matter most, “Who was there? What did they look like? Was it more than one person?”

Deni shook her head loose strands from her now messy braid falling across her face. “Everything happened so fast. Honestly, I was slightly distracted and caught off guard.” Her gaze shifted back to his and held it. She bit her lip as she stared into his eyes. “It was supposed to be a routine handoff. I mean I…someone got the coordinates wrong…maybe that should have been my first sign something was off…but…” she paused not breaking eye contact. “I was distracted…haven’t met someone like you before.” She smiled softly as she forced herself to look away. “I’m sure none of this makes a whole lot of sense and to be completely honest with you I’m not sure how much I should say if anything at all. But I find your presence greatly comforting even in this catastrophic turn of events. And even though you’re a complete stranger.” She swallowed hard, “The grace, sacrifice…you’ve extended to me…” her voice trailed off.

For a moment he wondered if she was going to speak again and then noticed a shimmering streak course down her ivory cheek. The way it seemed to sparkle in the dim light of the room caused his breath to catch. And without thinking, he reached for the teardrop catching it on the side of his pointer finger and staring at it before realizing what he was doing.

The feeling of his touch on her cheek caused a spark to run through her and then she noticed that she was crying, and he had caught her teardrop. She quickly dried off her cheeks and then took his hand in hers and held it tightly. “Your grace and sacrifice have not gone unnoticed…” she spoke softly.  

TJ was completely spellbound, speechless. Lost in her sparkling eyes, the strange sensation of the captured teardrop, and the way her hands felt when they captured his…almost like an electrical current passed between them.

“Who are you?” he whispered the thought escaping softly. He closed his eyes still transfixed by her. He felt her forehead rest against his and then heard a shuffle and a throat clearing behind him. They quickly parted and shifted towards the doorway finding Mira standing there.

She was tall and beautiful, a similar resemblance to her brother, but Deni found her eyes stormy and uninviting, quite unlike her brothers.

“Can I talk to you?”

Terrence quickly stood glancing back at Deni before stepping into the hallway with his sister.

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 3

Back at the pawnshop, Terrence picked up his skateboard where he had left it near the door and glanced around. There was an eerie feeling about the place that reverberated inside him. TJ’s thoughts traveled back to the look in her eyes and the tear he had caught. His left pointer finger tingled with the memory, and he felt his heart tighten. Swallowing he stepped around looking carefully for any clues.

Dates on the newspapers scattered on the floor were from all different decades. One he picked up was from 1963 another 72. The last one that caught his eye was under an empty potato chip bag, a brand he didn’t recognize. This paper was faded and thin he could barely make out the year 1948. His eyes darted around the empty shop again. Glass cases were empty except for dust. Shelves lined with more dust and trash.

TJ pocketed a couple of the newspaper clippings. Not sure of their relevance but desperate for any answers he could gather.  Anxious he rounded the counter and stood over the spot where he had found Deni and paused. His eyes bore holes into the blood-stained floor.

After a moment, he swallowed and scanned the area before setting down his skateboard. Crouching down near the dried blood he studied the surrounding area. There seemed to be nothing here but dead ends and lost time. Feeling hopeless he laid down in the position he had found Deni and studied the wall she had faced, there was a hall to his left that led to a back room, which was next on his list to check. His eyes drifted upward, and he paused noticing a ceiling tile slightly shifted out of place.

“I wonder if that’s something?” he muttered under his breath. Climbing on top of the counter he hoped it would hold his weight. His sneakers, classic black and white vans, squeaked on the glass casing as he pressed up on his toes and shifted the tile. He cautiously looked around. There he found, a little beyond arm’s reach, a watch, and a note. Stretching as far as he could his fingertips barely brushed against them. He pressed farther up on his toes and extended. As his fingers wrapped around the items, he heard the glass case crack and then shatter under his weight.

“Shiiiizz!!” Terrence cautiously pulled himself out of the broken case. Shattered glass was all around him. Shards sticking out from his shoes and jeans. “Jiminy…” He muttered under his breath as he stumbled to the floor and began to pull at the broken pieces of glass. Thankfully the damage to himself was minimal. His thick jeans had protected him from most of it. There was a scratch on one of his shins. As he pulled the last of the glass from his shoes, he noticed the shard jutting out from his forearm. The adrenalin of the fall had masked the pain momentarily but now eyeing the piece sticking out of his arm he became lightheaded. “FFUU…” he cut himself off cursing as he took a breath and gathered the courage to pull it out. Quickly he applied pressure with the black bandana he pulled out of his pocket.

After tying off the bandana he leaned back against a shelf and breathed heavily before unfolding the note.

“Thought you might need this Kid. Don’t lose it.”

TJ was exhausted. Mentally he felt like he was jumping through hoops to try to explain the past few days. The best way to make sense of it was that it was all a dream, she was a daydream, a figment of his imagination…a hallucination. He shook his head and stumbled to his feet.

At the end of the hall was a locked door. Twisting the handle, he pushed his weight against it. It didn’t give. TJ dried sweat off his brow with the back of his hand and examined the knob. Either he could pick the lock or break the door. It was a simple old doorknob; a bobby pin or paper clip could do the trick, but he didn’t have either. Maybe a credit card? He reached for his wallet and pulled out an old Blockbuster card. For some reason, he imagined Deni saying something smart about it as he pressed the card in between the door and the frame and worked on the handle. It finally gave and he breathed a sigh of relief. The room was pitch dark and there was no working light.

Retrieving the small flashlight from his backpack, memories of searching abandoned places with his friends a few years back flashed through his mind. He had been in trouble for trespassing in the past and now he began to wonder if he was pressing his luck. But this was important, back then it was something to do out of boredom and to kill time.

The flashlight revealed an old computer. When he rounded the desk, he found the screen to the monitor shattered and the tower smashed pieces missing. Then he began to rifle through drawers finding receipts and old records from the pawnshop. At the bottom of the last drawer, he found a red velvet box. He pulled it out and opened it. There was a key with a chain, and on the end of the keychain was a tag that read CJ. He closed the box and looked over the room one more time.

Nothing answered any of his questions. Why was Deni here? Whom was she meeting? Who attacked her and how did they escape? There was one entrance, the one they came through. Had they hidden in this back room? Nothing made sense. He knew what Mira would say but he also knew what his gut was telling him. There was more to this story.

As he grabbed his things, he glanced back at the hallway wondering if he had missed anything. He shook his head at how ridiculous this whole thing was. Safely storing his findings in his backpack, he grabbed his skateboard and headed back.

 ҉

 “Where’ve you been?” Mira broke his concentration on the watch in his hand. TJ glanced up from where he sat, on the same bed Deni had been recovering in, to the doorway where his sister stood leaning against the frame; her arms crossed over her chest.

Not sure what to say he shook his head and looked back at the watch. She’d be upset if she knew…she was already disappointed in him.

He swallowed hard as he thought about how Deni had vanished from this same spot yesterday, leaving him with no answers and more questions. Worry ate at him. Mira had said it was for the best, that she was trouble, and he didn’t need to be getting in any more trouble. But something told him that Deni was in danger and needed help…something wasn’t right about any of this, and he couldn’t shake his concern for her.

Mira stepped up to the bed and perched herself on the edge. “She left. Probably somewhere getting her next high, or whatever.”

“You don’t know that Mira.”

“I’ve seen a lot. Terrence, she fits the type.”

“What did you see in her test results? What did her blood tests say? Did she have drugs or even alcohol in her system?”

When Mira didn’t respond he asked again, “Did she, Mira?”

“Not everything shows up. You barely knew this girl a day…Why are you getting yourself so worked up?”

His gaze shifted away from hers and he sat silently. Deep down he knew the answer, but he was so annoyed with his sister he felt like shutting her out.

“TJ.” She placed her hand on his arm and then noticed the bandage.

He waited for her to ask. Instead, she squeezed gently, “Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out…talk to me.”

“I need you to stop acting like I’m a kid. I know I got into some trouble, but I’m grown…I can handle my own.”

“Can you blame me for trying to watch out for my kid brother?”

“Mira…”

She sighed, “Tell me what’s going on?”

Staring into her eyes he struggled to find the words.

“What is it about her?”

“I feel like I know her…” he knew she wouldn’t understand but he held her gaze pleading with her. “Like I’ve known her.” Part of him wondered if she was thinking he was talking about a crush, puppy love, the other part hoped she was trying to understand. “Remember what Pops said?”

She stared back and he knew she knew but she didn’t respond.

“Mira…” he was feeling like giving up, “call me crazy but I can’t shake her, and I feel like I need to help her…”

Finally, she nodded, “okay…but I can’t promise I won’t worry or say something bitchy about her or the situation…can’t help that I’m protective of you. Be careful. If you need help or anything I’ll do my best. Please don’t shut me out though and let me know what’s going on so I don’t worry myself to death. You’re all I got.” She hugged him, “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I need you as much as you need me…if not more.”

Relief washed over him and as Mira pulled away, he fumbled with the watch in his fingers. “She said they took her watch and then I found this in the ceiling with this note.” He handed both to her.

“Looks like an ordinary watch.” She read the note and then looked back at her brother.

“Yeah, but I don’t think it is.”

“Are you sure this has anything to do with the girl…you said it was an abandoned pawnshop…Maybe the people that owned it had it there.”

“I don’t know something about the note…” he paused. And then took the watch from her. “Look…it looks like you’re supposed to plug the watch into something here.”

Mira studied it in his hands before taking it and turning it over. “That’s strange…It looks like it has two faces…this isn’t the normal backing of a wristwatch.” Her eyes roamed over the band.

“Mira, Phone!” Stanley’s called through the house interrupting them.

“It’s probably the clinic. I’ll give it to you; the watch is weird. Maybe you’re on to something.” She walked to the door and paused. “This is all strange and I really don’t like it…please be careful.”

“I know Mira.”

“Maybe Edison can help with the watch?” she smiled softly, “get some rest you look like shit.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 4

The Smiths played in the background. Buzzing of the computer’s fan was loud and rhythmic. Black and Mild wine flavor burned slowly in the ashtray, its smoke twisting and curling in the air. Edison’s fingers pounded away at the keyboard. There was a sense of urgency that made this lame assignment due in 40-something minutes worthwhile.

The ringing of her phone interrupted her thoughts and caused her fingers to pause. Should she answer? She was running out of time. Fuck it, she picked it up.

Silence on her end and a rattling breathing on the other end.

“Weirdo, can’t you answer the phone like a normal human?”

“Maybe I would if I was normal. What do you want? I’m on a deadline.”

“What do you know about watches?”

“They tell time, and according to mine I have 15 minutes to finish and print this shitty paper.”

“I have this weird watch that looks like it plugs into something.”

“Cool, try the Radio Shack or Best Buy.”

“Are you saying you’d rather go to class than hang out with an old pal?”

“Well, Terry Jr, I think it would be beneficial for you to take a few psychology classes and learn the importance of not putting words in people’s mouths.”

“Yeah, no I’m good. Meet me in 10 at the usual spot.”

The sound of her fingers typing away was the only response.

“Edison…”

“Terrence…”

“Stanley made Mexican Coffee.”

Click.

“This better be interesting.”

 “What happened to your arm?” She took the coffee cup he extended to her.

“Fell through a glass case. Nice mohawk…” he eyed her leather jacket and her spiked hair, “What was the inspiration?”

The way she glared at him in response caused him to realize he was in hot water with her. “Where’s this watch I’m missing class for?”

Terrence handed it to her as they began walking towards downtown.

Her eyes studied it as she twisted it in her fingers, her silence was unusual and bothered him. “What’s going on with you?”

“For real Terrence?” she glared at him.

“That’s the second time you called me that in one day. What’d I do?”

“What’d you drop your marbles in that glass case? Where’ve you been?”

Edison’s voice was sharp, and she picked up her pace. Racking his brain for what he was missing he stopped dead in his tracks. “Fu…shi…”

“Yeah, you’re an ass…”

“Eddi…”

“Don’t”

“Seriously, stop.” He grabbed her arm, “I’ve had a lot going on.”          “Yeah, I don’t want to hear it…It’s not like we’re living in the dark ages…you could have at least called…sent an email. Shit, I would have been touched by snail mail.”

TJ forced her to turn towards him, “Listen to me.”

“Can we focus on the watch right now? That’s the point of this meeting, right?”

“Forget about the watch…I fucked up.”

“Understatement of the year. Terry, I really don’t want an apology or explanation or whatever your pea size brain is drumming up right now. Obviously, this watch was important enough for you to call, and you were important to Scotty so I’m doing this for him. I’ll get over your douchebaggery another time…”

It was clear she wasn’t going to hear him. He swallowed and clenched his jaw working through the gut punch of emotions.

“I think I can MacGyver something to plug this watch in if you want to head back to my place.”

The gut punch left him struggling to form words or even find his voice he swallowed the lump in his throat, which wouldn’t go away, and nodded.

Edison’s place was dark the one window was lined with foil and cardboard, and the air was smokey and stuffy. She pulled on the chain to her lamp and lit the place enough to see. He sat on the stuffed couch across from the desk and stared at his hands.

“You going to start mopin now? Feels good to feel like a jerk, don’t it?”

TJ shook his head.

She turned her back ignoring him as she rifled through a drawer of wires and tools and began tinkering away. “Where’d you find this watch anyway?”

Scratching his brow he cleared his throat, “an old pawn shop on Rowe.”

Eddi scoffed, “Nice looking for trouble again? Been hitting the good stuff too?” When he didn’t respond she turned and studied him, “Terry?”

“No…” he glanced up at her and noticed that she was really looking at him for the first time today.

She stopped what she was doing and propped herself up on the desk. “Did you check out?”

“Not exactly…” he nervously picked at his thumbnail then stopped and scratched the back of his head as he met her gaze again, “I…something strange happened…I don’t even know where to start.”

“The beginning is usually good. Although I have found some stories starting with a flashback or some scene from the future is always a nice twist.”

“The pawn shop is where I found the watch. This girl asked for directions to it and when she was in there something weird happened and she got hurt pretty bad. I helped her, took her to Mira, and then when I was trying to find answers to what she had going on she said they took her watch…whoever was in there hurt her and took her watch and vanished.”

“And this girl?”

He sighed still feeling the sting of her sudden disappearance…as if he lost a part of himself…which didn’t make any sense to him but that’s exactly how he would describe it, he felt lost without her. Maybe he was crazy. Brain damage much… he could hear Eddi say what he knew she would be thinking if he said all this out loud.

“I don’t know. She vanished.”

Edison could tell this was all eating at Terry and turned back to fidgeting with the watch. “So, this girl’s watch was taken but then you found it where she thought it was taken?”

There was silence as he thought this all over again. “No…I don’t know…I don’t think this was the watch that was taken, but I don’t know for sure…I don’t really know anything.” He paused and muttered the f word under his breath and then got up and started pacing about. “I’m sorry Eddi I really am…”

“I know your rule Terry…your Pop’s rule, it’s like your stupid fucking anthem. It’s how you got tied up with us losers. This girl needs help, and we are going to help her.”

Terrence blew out an exasperated sigh, “Thanks Edison.”

“Don’t mention it. So, what’s her name? Is she prettyyyy?” Her voice taunted him as she plugged the watch in, “Jeopardy!”

He spun around on his heel, “You got it?”

“Don’t sound so surprised lovebird…of course I got it. Give it a minute to get some juice.” She stepped over to her record player and put Joy Division on. The record spun as Love Will Tear Us Apart began to play.

“Always knew this day would come but thought you’d be in your 30s at least…A girl coming between us. She’d better be gorgeous.”

Terry smirked at her. “It’s not like that at all Eddi and you know no one can ever come between us. We have a blood pact.”

“Fuck that shit, we were high out of our minds when we did that.”

“High or not we did it…can’t undo a blood pact.”

Shaking her head, she threw the rubber band ball she had been toying with at him. “I’m just glad you ain’t using again.”

“I really am sorry I bailed.” He stepped towards her setting the rubber band ball down on the desk and then pulled her into a hug. She wasn’t much for hugs but responded in kind.

“No sweat Kid. We’ll make up for it tonight.”

He could hear the emotion in her voice and squeezed her a little tighter.

After a moment she pulled away, “All right let’s see what we can get out of this watch.”

TJ leaned over her shoulder as she brought the watch to life.

“Did you see that? The time automatically adjusted. I wonder if it’s…” her voice wandered off. “How strange was this girl…what’s her name? sick of calling her girl.” She glanced over her shoulder at him.

“She said Deni and CJ…I was calling her Deni, and she was pretty peculiar.”

Eddi arched an eyebrow at him, “Deni hu? Fitting… where are we talking on the peculiar scale?”

“Where does green jumpsuit, never hearing dancing in the moonlight, magic eyes, an unplaceable accent, and possibly not knowing what a Rubik’s Cube is, land?”

“Noooo…wait did you say magic eyes? Hold up go back I’m unpacking this. Where can I get one of these green jumpsuits? Magic eyes?! What the fuck…you are in love!” She lost herself in her laughter, “Wait til Mira hears all about this…”

“Shut up Edison! Come on I didn’t mean it like that…she just has eyes I’ve never seen before. I don’t know how to explain it. Can we get back to the watch what were you getting at?”

“Well, it was dead. And when I plugged it in it charged and instead of just ticking from the time it died on it adjusted on its own to the current time.”

TJ shook his head, “stop speaking nerd… what are you saying?”

“Rocks for brains. I don’t know maybe it has a setting or it’s connected to a satellite or somehow the internet.”

“Flip it over.”

         The back side looked like some sort of screen but wasn’t responding to anything she did. “Might have to take it apart and study it some more.” Eddi sighed and sifted through her drawer again.

         “Don’t worry about it right now…I owe you and Scotty. Let’s get out of here. I need to clear my head, all this is making me feel crazy anyways.”

         “Love will do that to you,” she winked at him.

         “You’re making me regret all of this Eddi.”

         “Oh, you missed me, and you know it.” She grabbed her leather jacket and ditched her combat boots for high-top DC sneakers.

 ҉

 March 3, 2002, boldly etched into the tombstone, a date not easily forgotten, and yet somehow, he had let it slip by like just another day. It ate at him now as he stared at it under Scotty’s name. Hitting the skatepark before coming here had helped alleviate some of the remorse he was feeling, Eddi, helped too. But he was still beating himself up.

She sat crossed-legged to his right ripping at the grass and rambling on about funny shit Scotty used to say. “Nothing tops how he convinced us all to shorten our names during our blood pact. ‘We have to have a family name now that we are all blood. What if you go by Terry and Edison goes by Eddi and I go by Scotty…Eddi has to be spelled with an I though because you’re a girl and that’s how Spanish works right? You have to have the feminine version of the name’…shit, I hated him for that. You know how many people call me eeedie…gross.”

TJ couldn’t help but chuckle as he glanced back at her and then finally sat down next to her.

“Such a dummy when he got high but dumb funny shit…man, I miss that…probably the hardest part of sobering up. You know how many times I wanted him to get high just so I could laugh at his stupid ass.”

“He was still funny sober…”

“No, he was a smart-ass sober.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“I’m always a smart ass.”

He laughed and shook his head as he gulped his Squirt. “He once told me that the reason they have us learn about evolution is so that we don’t repeat it. I swear my nose burned for hours after blowing whiskey through it.”

“When I first met him, I swore he really believed half the dumb shit he said.”

“He was a true genius.”

Eddi twirled a piece of grass in her fingers. “Yeah, have everyone believe he’s a dumbass so they don’t expect much from him. Shit, how many assignments he got a B or C on when he should have fuckin flunked.”

“I’m telling you. Man, I wish I would have learned a thing or two from him.” Terry chuckled “I guess I had already set myself up for failure.”

“It never mattered what you did…Mira always expected more from you…not a bad thing. Her pushing you probably kept you out of more trouble than you got in.”

“Or pushed me into it…” He sighed, “No you’re right…I never wanted to let her down but when things got hard it was easier just to give up and shut the world out.”

“I don’t know how many times Scotty would ask me if I talked to you. I’d always give him the smart-ass remark that you were his friend.” Eddi sighed and laid back in the grass, staring up at the blue sky. “I’m sorry Terry…phones work both ways. I should have called you. But you know my hot head wanted a reason to be mad…mad at you. Blame you for how I was feeling. It’s just been really hard.”

A breeze picked up and caused him to shiver as he glanced over his shoulder at her, “I know and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“Scotty would be really proud of you. And as hard as it is for me to say I am really proud of you. Even if you are the bane of my existence.”

He grinned at her, “I love you too.” Her ribbing had lifted his mood and he was feeling lighter. “Thanks, Eddi.” As he laid back next to her, he thought about how Scotty had introduced them and how Eddi had resented him for the longest time. She didn’t like that Scotty had a new friend and didn’t like having to share him. “As much as you hate me, I’m glad that Scotty brought us together…”

“Yeah, you ain’t too bad.” She smirked at him before turning back to the sky. “Tell me more about this Deni with an I.”

Terry laughed, “how do you know it’s with an I?”

“Because she’s a girl. No, but really, I’m sure Scotty wants to know about her too. And start from the beginning this time, and don’t leave anything out.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 5

Time was a mysterious thing, she had often heard it simply explained as a line, it was counted by seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. There was a structure, an order to it that all of humanity, nature even, understood and accepted. They kept records of it in books and newspapers. Past was recorded as history, the present was spoken of as the current moment, and the future was what they were heading to. Everyone had their place in time. There was a beginning and end to everything. No one was exempt from the rules and laws of time. It stopped for no one, and no one could escape it.

Many dreamt of overcoming time, by being able to traverse it. Fictional stories of time travelers lined shelves, and movies and shows captured the desires of humans to explore time. She often thought them insane for wanting to do such a thing, but the more time she spent traveling she quickly began to understand. Living in the present wasn’t the easiest thing to accept. Not only was Time a rule of life, but suffering was as well…everyone suffered. They weren’t just trying to escape time they were trying to understand and explain suffering as much as avoid it.

Tomorrow was a new day and tomorrow never comes were two conflicting phrases she had heard. Those suffering looked to tomorrow in hopes of a new, better, brighter day. Tomorrow never comes was something she assumed meant to live in the present. What you can do today, you should do today. No one knows what tomorrow holds and when tomorrow comes it becomes today. But as contradictory as they seemed she found them complimenting each other. The two together encouraged hope and motivation for the disheartened. Living in the present and for the future.

There were those that lived in the past; wishing they could go back in time, do things differently, go back to a better moment, or even felt that they belonged in a different era. All the people she met over time had a commonality of their stories being built over time. Everyone had a past, present, and future until their time came to an end. Wrapping her mind around those that lived in the past was frustrating at first. Why live in the past when you have this current moment and the next to look forward to? But as she heard story after story she began to understand. Loss was a part of it, people lost so much, and the past held what they had cherished so dearly. Some people felt lost in the present or were fearful of the future. Others believed that the past held answers to the unknowns of the future. The more she studied time she began to see how much one could learn from the past.

As much as she began to understand those desires and hopes to live in the past or the future, or to just even experience it, she longed to be able to experience the present.

Deni stared out at the stars, bright against the dark backdrop. This was what she knew, where she found her comfort. The diamonds twinkling about her put things into perspective for her. Who she was and everything she did seemed minuscule in comparison to the vast universe encircling her.

 ҉

 Mira stood at the front desk of the clinic flipping through a patient’s file. Her concentration was abruptly interrupted by two men barging through the entrance. Her eyes narrowed as she studied them. They wore dark suits and carried themselves as if they were some type of authority. She straightened and readied herself for the confrontation.

“Ma’am.”          “How may I help you?” She glanced between the two of them. Edith stepped up behind her. Mira could picture her standing behind her as if she were her backup.

“We have reason to believe this girl has been here…”

They flashed a picture and Mira held her poker face. “We have a lot of people coming in and out of here.”

“I’m sure you would have remembered this one.”

“And why is that?” Edith stepped up beside Mira.

“Who is in charge here?” his voice was abrasive.

Mira glanced from the one that spoke to the other one who remained silent. “What makes her so memorable? She looks like every other girl that has passed through our doors.”

Obviously irritated the taller man shuffled his weight and leaned into the counter, “I asked who was in charge here.”

“You’re speaking to the people in charge, and we would be happy to help you once you identify yourself and clarify what it is you need.”

The silent one cleared his throat and side-eyed his friend. “What my partner here is getting at is this girl is in a lot of trouble and we are trying to find her whereabouts.”

“What makes you think she came in here?” Edith asked, she switched to a warmer demeanor but still had her grit in her voice, “Fact is fellas you come in here hot-headed we are going to have to ask you to leave, cops or not this place is providing a service to the community, most people come in here using false names and what not. We are here to serve them no questions asked. If you want information on a patient that has been cared for here, there are proper and legal ways to go about it. I’m sure you are aware of those. Now whether this girl came in here or not you need something signed by a judge for us to release any information to you.”

The abrasive man’s watch buzzed, and they both glanced down and swiftly turned around and left.

“What the hell was that about?” Mira muttered under her breath, “I’d really like to know who they were and what they want with that girl.”

Edith shrugged, “honestly wouldn’t trust those guys with my sandwich.”

“I’ll be back.”

 “Stanley…Is TJ there? He’s not answering.”

“Yeah…he’s asleep. You know how late it is Mira?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I was just worried…”          “Hon you’re going to worry yourself straight into old age. Your dad was right, the thing I’m going to have to worry about with you is you enjoying life.”

“I’m at work, Stanley. Someone’s gotta pay the bills.”

“You need a vacation. The kid is fine. I’m fine. Take some time off go see a movie, go to the beach. Heck, I’ll buy you a cruise or send you to Nepal.”

“Stanley some men came by asking about that girl tonight…I just wanted to make sure TJ was safe. I’m hanging up now.”

 ҉

 He fell asleep in Stanley’s guest bed listening to his sister’s Frou Frou album. Hear Me Out was playing as he drifted off his thoughts turning from the day’s events to Deni. In the shadows of his mind, he could hear her voice, “I like this song.” It felt so close and so real. And then the music changed to a song he was certain he had never heard before. “This song is one of my favorites.” Her voice was soft and sweet and so close. He swore he heard her singing and his mind pictured her twirling and swaying to the melody of the guitar.

He was dreaming and he fought to fall deeper into it. To find Deni somewhere to see her dancing and singing. TJ searched for her in the darkness. Where was she? She felt so close.

“I’m right here,” she said pausing from her singing.

His head swiveled towards her voice. The darkness shifted into shadows, and he stepped in the direction of her voice.

“Hey, Stranger.”

“Deni? Where are you?”

“Right here.”

It sounded like she whispered directly in his ear.

“Do you like this song?”

“Yeah…I’ve never heard it before.”

“Why aren’t you dancing?”

He laughed, “Not much for dancing.”

“You should try it.”

It sounded like she switched the song, “you should dance more. Enjoy the moment.”

“Why can’t I see you?”

“You have to open your eyes silly.”

It felt like she brushed against him and then he realized she was twirling around him, her movements causing a gentle gust of air to blow softly against him. And just when he was giving up on seeing her it was like his eyes opened and he saw her as a star moving about him gracefully to the music.

“This is a beautiful moment.”

“It is…” he murmured mesmerized.

As the song ended, she stepped up to him her beautiful jasper eyes meeting his. She smiled but there was sadness in her eyes. “I have to take you to another moment now.”

He nodded as her hand wrapped around his.

TJ was suddenly swallowed by complete darkness. The sensation of her hand in his kept him calm and warm despite the cold air around him. Then the air became scorching hot. It felt like the hairs on his arm were being singed.

“Open your eyes TJ.”

His eyes flung open at the realization that her hand was no longer in his and that he was burning up. He found himself in front of Edison’s building engulfed in flames. Smoke billowed up from the roof, flames burst out of the building, and he began to choke on the fumes from the fire.

“Eddi!” He shouted rushing towards the building.

He couldn’t get through the door. He ran back to the front window and tried with desperate determination to break through it. “Eddi!” He shouted and then began to choke on the smoke. His skin felt like it was melting from the heat of the blaze. Frantically he looked for a way to get to her. There was a deafening sound from inside and his heart clattered in his chest. The roof was caving in, and he couldn’t get to her.  His lungs burned and he found it impossible to breathe and to even see. Every limb in his body felt like it had melted into Jell-O, all his strength was gone, and he felt himself melt to the ground in front of her building.

TJ jolted upright. Feeling the bed under him he fought to breathe in clean air.

“Oh, good you’re awake.”

Still terrified from the night terror he started at the sound of Stanley’s voice in the doorway.

“Bad dream?”

Still trying to catch his breath he shook his head in disbelief. It felt so real. What just happened? His heart was racing, and his mind wouldn’t get rid of the image or the feeling the dream gave him.

“Can I borrow your truck?” his voice came out weak and raspy.  

Stanley tossed him his keys, “don’t tell your sister.”

TJ looked at Stanley confused, and then hurriedly gathered his things and slipped on his shoes before running out the door.

 The tires screeched to a halt in front of Edison’s studio apartment. He sprinted to her building only noticing the smoke as he neared the door.

“Eddi!” His heart felt like it was going to erupt it had been racing nonstop since the dream. He threw his body against her door multiple times, but it wouldn’t budge. Was this really happening? He raced back to the truck, reached into the toolbox, and grabbed an axe before running back to the door. Something told him to avoid the window. Maybe he was terrified of reliving the nightmare. But wasn’t that what was happening here? He tore at her door with the axe. It finally splintered and he breathed heavily throwing more force into the next swing.

“Eddi!”

He thought he heard her cough and shout back and he desperately threw his weight against the door. It creaked and cracked under the pressure, and he finally busted through. “Eddi?!”

TJ dropped low as he coughed and tried to peer through the flames and smoke to find his friend.  

Edison coughed violently, “my foot is stuck.”

He heard the roof cracking and watched as flames licked the walls near her and jumped from the desk, completely blocking the window. Without thinking he broke through a wall of flames grabbed her quilt and wrapped it around them; tugged at her weight pulling her towards him. When that didn’t work, he shifted his weight under the debris and pressed it up with all his might. She pulled herself free and he dragged her back towards the door.

“Wait,” she coughed the word out and swiftly grabbed the cigar box from under her pillow before he rushed her out of the building just as the roof dropped in, they fell out the door choking for air covered in a plume of smoke ash and dust.

Her weight crumpled onto him, and he struggled to pull her up with him. He gathered the last of what strength he had and guided her away from the building.

They both collapsed, weak and shaken onto the cold pavement in front of Stanley’s truck. TJ panted as he glanced from Eddi back towards the completely engulfed building.

“What…” She began to cough uncontrollably and then dry heaved.

Sirens rang out and moments later emergency vehicles arrived.

He pushed himself up, his body trembling uncontrollably, and weakly scooted closer to Eddi, “Are you,” he coughed, “Are you hurt?”

Edison stared at the building dazed. After a moment, still struggling to breathe she shook her head and turned her attention toward him.

“You two all right?”

They glanced up at the firefighter standing above them and nodded.

“Anyone else in there?”

“No,” Edison shook her head and coughed, “Just me.”

He turned his attention to the firetruck and shouted something they couldn’t make out, over the sirens and commotion from the first responders. Then he turned back to them, “Let’s get you checked out, you’re probably in shock.”

“That’s not necessary…” Edison’s voice was weak, and she struggled to her feet.

TJ pushed himself up and reached for Eddi, “Come on let’s get you checked out.”

Her eyes met his and he could see the pleading look in their dark depths, “I’m okay Terry.” She coughed again, “Please I’m okay.”

He nodded and stepped closer to her offering the support of his body. He shifted his gaze back to the firefighter. “My sister works at a clinic we will have her check us out.”

It was as though the firefighter knew they weren’t going to the clinic. He eyed them both and then handed Edison his oxygen mask, “Here at least put this on for a bit.” He set the oxygen tank on the grass next to them.

She followed orders.

TJ thanked him and settled Edison on the curb. Then he went to put the cigar box in the truck and grab a couple of water bottles from the toolbox. Still trembling, he found himself frozen staring at the water shaking in his hands. The firefighter was correct, he was in shock. He could feel the adrenalin wearing off and was terrified of spiraling.

Focus on your breathing kid.

He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. His eyes closed as he listened to his father’s voice in his head. Inhale, exhale. Then he began to cough again his lungs still burning, his mouth tasted like smoke, and he opened a bottle of water and swished some in his mouth before spitting it out and then taking a gulp. One last deep breath before he turned and looked back at the firefighters working on putting out the fire. The rubble of the flames caused his mind to drift back to the dream, the feeling of Deni’s presence, and the intensity of the heat from the fire. How it felt so real and how it was real. This was really happening. How was this happening?

The sound of a male voice talking to Edison brought him back to the moment and he hurried to her side.

“No officer that’s all I know.”

TJ glanced between her and the officer. She avoided looking at him focusing on the oxygen mask in her hand. “Do you have a number we can call once we get her checked out if she remembers anything or has any more information to give you, we can call you?”

Her gaze shifted toward Terry, a small smile of gratitude curling the corners of her mouth.

“Yeah, here, I’m officer Wilson. Call when you can with any information. Glad you two are all right.”

“Thank you, Officer.” TJ shook his hand. He watched him walk away and then glanced at Eddi. She set the oxygen aside and stood to her feet. He could see that she was just as shaken up as he was. “Here,” Terry handed her the other bottle of water.

“Can we get out of here and go watch The Outsiders so I can cry.”

Emotions tugged at his throat, and he choked them back and swallowed and pulled her into his arms holding her tightly against him. His eyes closed, tears slipping past his lashes and down his cheeks. He let them fall but fought to keep the sobs at bay. She trembled in his arms. “Let’s get you out of here.”

They drove in silence; she sipped her water staring out the window. “That was fucking wild,” she mumbled, and then wiped her nose with the back of her hand, “I guess I owe you one now.”

TJ remained quiet, afraid to talk.

“Terry?”

He glanced at her and tried to force a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. She bit her lip at his obvious struggle with emotion and then took his hand in hers. “I don’t know how you showed up when you did or even why but I’m okay thanks to you.”

TJ nodded and blew out a shaky breath, “I know.”

“You thinking about a release?”

“No…” his voice was quiet, “I’m thinking about the dream I had…” his voice broke. “I dreamt that this happened, but I couldn’t get to you.”

She watched as he blinked back tears and tried to focus on the road. They stopped at a red. “Wait…you dreamt that I was trapped in a fire?”

He nodded chewing on his lip and staring at the red light. “It felt so fucking real…it still feels real…feels like I lost you…I can’t fucking shake it.”

“That’s what woke you?”

Terry nodded as the light turned green and he proceeded two blocks before turning right. And then pulled into the O’Malley’s driveway.

“That’s straight trippy Terry.” Edison unbuckled but stayed put, “have you had dreams like this before?”

His mind was about to spiral again as he tried to shake the dream, he shook his head and closed his eyes. The darkness behind his eyelids took him back to the beginning of the dream, the sweet serenity he felt in the darkness. He remembered her soft singing voice and the way he felt weightless.

Eddi squeezed his hand, and he squeezed it back, settling his head on the headrest of his seat. “Deni was there.”

“In your dream?”

“Yeah,” he continued to talk with his eyes closed holding Eddi’s hand tightly as if it was his only lifeline, “She was there singing and dancing in the dark…or maybe it wasn’t the dark maybe my eyes were closed. The songs she sang were unfamiliar, but her voice was beautiful. And when she danced it was like watching a star in the sky it was weird…it was like she was a star but then my eyes were opened, and she was standing in front of me holding my hand and she looked sad.” TJ paused and swallowed hard and opened his eyes, “and then she said, ‘I have to take you to another moment now,’ and then I was at your place, and it was on fire only I couldn’t get to you. It felt completely awful, so real, I was fucking terrified and then I couldn’t move and…” his voice began to tremble. “I didn’t want to give up, but it was like my body did and then I heard Deni say, ‘open your eyes.’ And I woke up.”

“Fuck…” she uttered in shock, and then released his hand and punched the dash, “Shit!!!! The fucking watch!!!”

TJ turned and looked at Eddi shocked by her sudden outburst.

“I left the watch. It’s gone…destroyed…fuck!”

“Are you serious Eddi?” he stared at her wide-eyed. “you’re worried about the watch? You barely made it out of there. It’s a dumb watch.”

Edison shook her head her eyes still blazing, “no it wasn’t. Tj…” her voice trailed off.

“None of that matters… Eddi. I don’t care about any of that. All I care about is that you’re okay. Forget about the fucking watch before you make me mad.”

“But you’re so cute when you’re mad.”

“I’m about to be mad crazy. Let’s get this off our minds and go watch The Outsiders. I need you to cry so I can and not feel less of a man.”

The genuine smile that broke across her face refreshed his weary spirit. She was alive, okay, and right here. “Thanks for not dying on me.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side resting his chin on her head as he tried to let go of the remaining images from the dream. That wasn’t real…this was.

“You think Scott’s mom will make us brownies?”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 6

Stanley maneuvered his wheelchair around his favorite coffee shop.

“Here you go Stan.”

“Thanks Rach…I have a strange favor to ask…”

Her bright smile and eyes twinkled, “Why do I get a feeling you’re about to take me on another one of your adventures?”

He sipped from his cappuccino. “I need a ride and someone who can get around a little better than me.”

Rachel chuckled, “don’t sell yourself short I’ve seen you get around in pretty tight spots.”

“This one’s a little more challenging…dangerous.”

“Dangerous…” she hummed, “You know I can’t say no to danger. Sounds thrilling. When are we going?”

“What time do you get off?”

She glanced at her wristwatch, “an hour and a half.”

“I’ll wait around for you. I have some reading to catch up on.” Stanley rolled to his table in the far corner and pulled out his book.

Rachel watched Stanley for a moment before turning back to making coffee for her patrons. She remembered the first time she met him, she was stranded on the side of the road with a flat. While she knew how to change a tire, she couldn’t get one of the lug nuts loosened. He pulled up behind her car in his blue ford truck and got out. This man in a wheelchair rolled up to her and helped her when no one else would. At the time she was just a teenager working, going to high school, and trying to help her single mom out.

When Stanley had finished helping her, she tried to offer money in gratitude instead he said, “how about a cup of coffee to warm us both up, my favorite place is just up the road, I’m meeting an old friend.” She followed him to the coffee shop and bought him a cup, that was the beginning of what others would see as their peculiar friendship.

After her shift, the two of them headed out. He gave her directions in between asking her about college and her family. They joked about her starting a private detective agency and she said she’d only do it if he would be her partner and if they could have a dog.

“Only if we can call him Officer Lewis.”

Rachel laughed, “this from one of your movies?”

“Come on Rach you haven’t seen K-9?”

“Who is in it?”

“James Belushi.”

“Oh, is that the guy from According to Jim? I love him.”

Stanley chuckled shaking his head, “What…did you grow up under a rock?”

“You know I did.”

“Here we are.”

Rachel glanced to her right as she pulled up, “What happened here?” She studied the charred rubble.

“What’s it look like?”

“Are we investigating?”

Stanley grinned at her, “Be a doll and get my wheelchair will ya?”

He watched her sift through the remains of Edison’s house, part of him hating that he couldn’t, the other part proud to see her living out her dreams. She had told him once that she was going to become an accountant and he remembered the dead look in her eyes. He challenged her to chase her passions and dreams and now he watched her thriving, enjoying life.

“This is strange. I don’t see a point of origin,” she began pulling at materials from the roof. “Stanley…why would part of the roof be cut out…” her voice trailed off.

“Take detailed observations. Use your recorder. We will process it all at the shop after.”

She nodded and continued inspecting. “This is all giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Be thorough, if you see anything that survived the fire, bring it to me.”

“Whose place is this?”

“A friend of TJ’s.”

“Dang…are they okay?”

“Yeah…now focus I can’t follow behind you and pick up on what you missed.”

“You’re just itching to be over here.”

After a while, of watching her studying things he saw her try to lift something. She struggled and he shouted out, “Don’t hurt yourself it’s not worth it.”

Rachel glanced at him and then back at the debris before climbing over some of the rubble and sauntering over to him. “Come on I need you to see this…I can’t explain it and don’t really know how to describe it for your old school recorder.” She squatted down and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder as she lifted him up and helped him back around the long way.

 ҉

 “Terry, I have to tell you something.”

He looked over at her as she pulled herself back up onto the top of the bowl. Behind her, another skater dropped in. “What’s up?”

“Not here…” Eddi shifted her weight and glanced around.

They both kicked their skateboards back onto the path and cruised around the bend back down to the walkway. It was a few minutes later when they arrived at their little lookout over the river and under the train tracks. The water was rushing and roaring today. It was calming. They both perched on the ledge of an old cement slab hanging their feet over the edge.

“What’s up?”

“I’m pretty sure someone had been in my place. I don’t think the fire was an accident.”

Terry studied her before looking away mulling what she said over.

“It wasn’t like an obvious break-in or anything. Just noticed that things weren’t exactly how I left them and the energy in there felt off.”

He was silent, staring at the water below his dangling feet.

When he didn’t say anything. She shoved his shoulder, “get out of your head.”

TJ sighed, “I can’t help but think this is all my fault.”

“You think it all has to do with the watch?”

“I don’t know.”

“That thing wasn’t expensive.”

“Yeah, but even you said it was strange…nothing’s been normal since I met that girl.”

“What now you’re calling her that girl?”

Chewing his lip, he thought about her for a moment. He still worried about her and couldn’t shake the feeling her presence gave him, but he hated the thought that if this was all related, he had put his friends, his family, in danger because of her.

Edison watched him quietly thinking and after a few moments passed she bumped his foot with hers, “I honestly believe that she needs our help and that it’s because of her that you were able to get to me in time. I don’t blame her, or you for what happened. I find all this terrifyingly trippy and extremely exciting.”

He met her gaze his eyes searching hers before nodding in understanding and looking back over the water. His silence bothered her, but she let him be, figuring he needed time to process. She laid back and looked up at the sky.

When she couldn’t take the silence any longer, she spoke softly. “I miss Scotty.”

TJ glanced back at her and watched her dark eyes staring at the sky. They seemed to dance about looking from cloud to cloud. “You trying to figure out what characters he’d make out of the clouds right now.”

She laughed, “Yeah.”

He laid back and looked up searching the clouds. “Over there is Master Splinter.”

Eddi tilted her head and smiled, “totally.” She gestured to a cloud to his right, “Did you see Mighty Mouse?”

He erupted in laughter, “that looks nothing like Mighty Mouse.”

“I know I just wanted to hear you laugh.”

Terry turned his head to look at her.

“There you are…lost you there for a moment. I need you right now…” she made a face at him, “shit got me all being vulnerable and shit. TJ this is what we do. You know how much shit we’ve gone through together. I’m not letting you do this alone besides, this semester’s shot now I need something else to do. I have to meet this Deni chick my curiosity is driving me insane. And by the sounds of it, she’s pretty epic. Who knows maybe she’ll be a character in one of my comic books.”

Terry cracked a smile.

“And don’t ever tell anyone that I said I need you…it’s the other way around. Can’t be ruining my reputation now, I’ve invested too much into this badass girl persona.”

He laughed and shifted his gaze up, “I did dig the mohawk, but this pixie fauxhawk look works just as well.”

“Ooo look…over there. It’s Sloth!” she pointed, “Sloth love Chunk!” Eddi did her best impression of sloth.

Terry laughed, “I love you too and you’re going to get crushed!” He rolled over and smashed Eddi in a hug.

She erupted in laughter as she squirmed to get out of his embrace, “ahhhh!”

 ҉

 Mrs. O’Malley packed a duffel with clothes, toiletries, and goodies for Edison. When they left, she hugged them both tightly and kissed their cheeks telling them they had to stop by the following Sunday for Irish Stew.

Back at Stanley’s, Terry carried the duffel bag up the walk towards the front door and Eddi followed behind cradling the cigar box in her hands. He paused at the door and looked at her. Apprehension shadowed her face, and he placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Sloth you’re going to live with me now…yeah, I’m going to take care of you now.”

Shaking her head, she bit back a grin and punched him in the shoulder, “come on Chunk, let’s get this over with.”

Inside they found Stanley and a girl that looked their age sitting at the table drinking his famous Mexican coffee.

“Just in time Edison coffee’s on.”

“Thanks, Stanley.”

“I’m going to get her settled in the guest room,” TJ interjected.

“Sounds good then come join us. I’d like to talk to you two before Mira drops in unannounced.”

In the bedroom, Terry dropped the duffel on the bed and watched as Eddi sat down in the sofa chair. “You good?”

“Yeah…who is that girl?”

“Beats me…”

“I really don’t feel like dealing with anyone right now…I mean I love Stanley but he’s odd…and…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I can take care of them, and you can shower and rest up.”

She stared at the cigar box in her hands and then set it aside and rubbed the palms of her hands on the sweatpants she wore, another gift from Mama O’Malley. “No, I’ll go with you…I just need a minute.”

It was obvious by her body language that she was anxious and didn’t want to be alone. “Stanley has been odd…guess he always was, and I was just used to it.” He sat on the bed and continued, “when I woke up from that dream he was in my doorway and it was like he knew what was going on, even had his truck keys ready for me…” This was all just dawning on him as he said it and he scratched the back of his head. “Maybe he was just being ol Stanley…I don’t know when or if he ever sleeps.”

Eddi fidgeted with the sleeves of her hoodie, “I think I’m good now. Just feel like I never know what to expect from him. But I know his intentions are always good.”

“Yeah well, I got your back. Just give me the signal when you need to escape, and I’ll make it happen.”

They stepped back out to the kitchen and found two mugs of his famous Mexican coffee sitting in front of their chairs.

“This is my friend Rachel. Rachel this is Edison and TJ.”

She smiled at them.

“How’s it going?” Terry sat down and Eddi pulled the chair next to him out and sat down.

“Good…Stanley took me on an adventure today and we ended up checking Edison’s place out…I’m sorry about what happened.”

Terrence felt Eddi tense next to him and shifted his gaze from Rachel to Stanley. He hadn’t told him what had happened and only told him that Eddi was going to stay a few nights. Stanley met his gaze and held it unwaveringly.

When no one spoke Rachel continued, “I’m studying at the college. I think I’ve seen you on campus. I actually read one of your pieces in the school’s magazine, you are really talented.”

Terry still staring at Stanley trying to figure out what he knew and what was going on turned towards Eddi when she remained silent. It wasn’t like her to be quiet, especially in uncomfortable situations. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Somehow, she managed to lift her coffee and take a gulp. He doubted anyone else noticed the slight tremor of her lips as she set the mug back down.

Realizing she needed an out he quickly spoke up, “What exactly is going on?” His gaze penetrated Stanley.

“Rachel is studying criminal justice and is hoping to become a detective.”

“Oh, Nancy Drew…” Eddi mumbled under her breath staring holes into the kitchen table.

Terry reached over and placed his hand on Eddi’s arm, “Stop Stanley. We both are exhausted either tell us what the fuck you have going on here or…”

Stanley leaned forward, “you know how I don’t trust the cops to do a thorough job. I wanted to take a look around but can’t in my condition Rachel is actually really good at this stuff, she’s passionate and thorough and someone I trust.”

“But that’s not your place.”

“Kid anything involving you is my place. Even if you don’t live with me, you will always be my responsibility and priority.”

Terry was brewing and ready to spew he continue to stare down Stanley, but held his cool giving Stanley a chance, he owed that to Stanley. Growing up he learned his outbursts got him nowhere, anyways.

“Listen to me carefully…Deni is in trouble and that trouble is now a part of you. It was destined to happen. This is your story. Terrence, look at me…no…really look at me. I see your mind working you need to stop, and you need to be in this moment if any of this is ever going to make any sense.”

TJ felt his words hit him and suddenly felt lost and confused. He was trying to make sense of all of it, then he felt Eddi shift and place her hand in his.

“Are you with me Kid?”

He took a deep breath but didn’t break his gaze from Stanley, he nodded slightly. “Hear what I’m saying and work it out later but really listen to me. I don’t have answers for you other than that what is happening is unavoidable, it’s ordained. What happened at Edison’s is a part of all of this. The fire was unusual, and Rachel was able to confirm my suspicions.”

He turned his attention to Rachel, and she took that as her signal. “Edison what can you tell me about that night?”

Eddi glanced from Terry to Stanley and then Rachel and took a deep breath. “When I got home that night, I noticed things had been shifted around slightly and the energy was different. I knew something was off, but I told myself it was all in my head…” she paused and swallowed pulling her hand from Terry’s. “I distracted myself by fidgeting with this watch that Terry found…”

“Watch?” Stanley interjected.

They both looked at him.

“Yeah, Terry found it and thought it had some connection with Deni.”

TJ could hear the anxiety in her voice it was subtle but obvious to him, and he watched her as she continued feeling tortured with guilt that she was having to deal with this.

“I was fidgeting with it when it started buzzing in my hand. Kind of gave me something like a static shock. I dropped it on my desk irritated and decided to go to bed and try again in the morning.”

When she fell silent Stanley and Rachel waited patiently. Her gaze dropped to her lap, and she began to roll her neck a clear sign, to Terry, that she was fighting to control her emotions.

“I’m sorry…”

Terry placed his hand on hers and squeezed she glanced at him, and he saw the tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything…” her lips quivered. “I didn’t want you to worry or beat yourself up like you always do.” She was crying now and fighting to pull herself together.

He moved to hug her when Stanley spoke up, “Eddi…what else do you remember about that night.”

Her gaze broke from Terry’s, and she met Stanley’s eyes. It was the first time she really looked into them. There was something comforting in his eyes that encouraged her to continue. “I was asleep and woke up to this sound above me. At first, I thought I was dreaming, or hallucinating. Then it was gone so I figured it was an animal on the roof or the wind. But when I couldn’t go back to sleep, I put my record player on. Fell asleep to loud music. Woke up to a bright, blinding light and I don’t remember getting out of bed but found myself on the floor. I couldn’t see or move. It became completely dark I don’t know if I lost consciousness but when I was finally able to see the room was completely filled with smoke and flames and I was trapped.”

Terry was finding it hard to breathe, to listen to this, to make sense of any of it. He was overwhelmed with emotion and guilt.

Eddi continued to speak, “Then Terry showed up and pulled me out…Did you know about his dream Stanley?”

Terry looked up from the table catching Stanley nod.

He pulled something out of his pocket, “Did the watch look like this?” He set it in front of Eddi. They both stared at it in shock.

“Where did you get this?” She asked picking it up.

“Found this one a while back. It’s broken, unfixable. I think it’s missing some important components.”

“How’d you know about the dream if he didn’t tell you?”

Stanley smiled softly, “I dream too.”

Her brow furrowed but something told him he wasn’t going to tell her anymore, and she shifted her gaze to Rachel, “What did you find?”

“There was a hole cut out of your roof. There was no point of origin for the fire and no accelerant. Your door had been reinforced so that you couldn’t get out.”

The sound of keys jingling at the front door interrupted them.

Mira unlocked and opened the door coming in and stopping and staring at them. Her eyes narrowed at Stanley and then at TJ.

“I thought I told you to have him call me when he woke up.” Her glare turned from Stanley to TJ, “Haven’t heard from you in two days TJ.”

“I woke and he was already gone. This is Rachel. She and Edison attend school together. I made them coffee for their little meet-up.” Stanley explained.

Mira’s glare softened realizing she was being rude, “uh hello good to see you, Edison. Nice to meet you, Rachel.”

“Edison will be sleeping in the spare room for a while.”

Mira turned her attention to Stanley, “is that so?”

“It is. Thought it would be nice to have some company she’s working on her senior project and asked me to help critique and edit it. Figured it would be easier for her to stay here instead of me going back and forth since she doesn’t have transportation. Besides, TJ was telling me how they haven’t been able to spend as much time together since she’s been in school. Figured it would be a win-win for everyone.”

Terry caught the smirk that turned Eddi’s lips up.

“Would you like some coffee, Mira? Why don’t you join us we were just brainstorming topics for Edison’s thesis paper.”

“I didn’t realize I was interrupting something, I’m sorry. No, I just stopped by to check on you and TJ.” She stepped up to her brother and squeezed his shoulder, “I know you say I worry too much, but can you blame me? I never hear from him anymore.” Then she smiled at Eddi, “I’m really proud of you Edison. You’ve accomplished a lot, you should be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you, Mira.”

“I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow if you all want to put together a list for me, I can pick up whatever you need.”

“Appreciate that Mira, I’m sure Edison will need a few things to tide her over while she’s staying here. I’ll have a list and envelope of cash for you waiting here.”

“Sounds like a plan. We should plan an evening when we can all do dinner. I’ll cook. It’d be nice to spend some time with my family.” She hugged TJ from behind and then hugged Stanley, “Hey TJ did you figure out anything about this girl.”

“No…” his voice felt uncertain coming out. It wasn’t a lie but after everything they were just talking about, he wasn’t sure if it was the honest truth.

“Some men stopped by asking about her. They dressed like they were FBI but I think they were frauds. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Just be careful and keep an eye out.” She reached into her purse, “Almost forgot. Patty got what he could out.” Mira handed him his flannel and then kissed his cheek, “I love you. See you tomorrow hopefully. Bye, everyone.”

“See ya, Mira.” Eddi waved.

“Bye sis love you too.”

When the door shut Stanley pushed his chair back from the table, “Well we will get back to this project tomorrow. This old man needs some rest and I’m sure you all are exhausted. Rachel, you’re welcome to crash in the den if you want. I’m sure Terry will be sleeping on the sofa in the guest bedroom.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 7

 “Hey, Kid!”

He stopped a wry smile spreading across his face, “jerk alert.” Turning around he counted four of them, all bigger than him. “Fair fight,” he muttered under his breath.

“What you smiling at lil paddy?” The leader of the group stepped forward.

“Good one. Had to call the whole squad in?”

“Shut your face.”

“Ha, a real tough guy hu? I’m assuming this is about the other day eh?”

“No duh dummy. Think you can get away with that bullshit?”

He shrugged, “I did what I thought was necessary. And I’ll do it again if I have to.”

Anger flared in his face as he shoved him. “Time you learn your place.”

The sardonic grin still on his face, he held his ground, “yeah? You going to show me?” Right hook thrown he dodged it and landed an uppercut to the gut in return. By then the other three jumped in.

Definitely not a fair fight but he enjoyed the beating and landed a few clean hits. Scrappy fighter as he was, he held his own before he found himself on the ground getting pummeled.

Then he heard a shout and felt the weight of one of them get pulled off, and then another one, and then it was two against two. Now the odds were in his favor. Before long they gave in and shouted profanities as they retreated.

“You all right man?” TJ offered his hand looking over the bloodied kid who had an ironic grin on his face.

“Yeah, dandy…Thanks for the assist. I’m Scott.”

“TJ…what was that about?”

“Oh…I’ve been overdue for a beating from them. They were just waiting for my older brother to go off to boot camp.”

“Losers.”

“Yeah, I know right?”

TJ picked up the case of beer he had set down before intervening. “Want one?”

“What, ‘cause I’m Irish?”

He furrowed his brow, “What? No…it’s because you just took a beating.”

Scott laughed and took one.

“My sister is a med student if you want her to fix you up, we just live up the road.”

He lifted his shirt up to wipe off some of the blood, “Nah, this is my badge of honor.”

TJ awoke from the dream, memory. His sleep had been riddled with nightmares and memories. He lay awake staring at the ceiling. His brain bombarded him with thoughts about Deni, about everything that had taken place, about Scotty and Eddi, about his father and Stanley. He struggled to focus on something to make sense of anything. That’s when he decided if Stanley was right and this was his story, he had to solve the mystery of who Deni was, where she was, and how to help her. Until he did that, he continued to put those he loved at risk.

Quietly he threw his sweatshirt on, grabbed his backpack, and headed out back. Sitting at the picnic table on Stanley’s back deck he pulled out the red velvet box, the newspaper articles, and the note that came with the watch. It was hard to see so he went to the shed and grabbed a lantern.

Settling back down he picked up the note and held it in his fingers. There was something that kept drawing his attention to it. Was the note meant for Deni? Who left it there in the ceiling of the shop with the watch and what was their intent in doing so? The watch could have been crucial evidence in solving this mystery, but it was gone. He set the note down and picked up the key.

The fact that it had the letters CJ attached to it made him wonder if it had anything to do with Deni, and yet, maybe it was nothing. He figured the only way he could know that is if he found out what the key was for, but how was he supposed to do that?

Chewing his lip, fighting the frustration that was building up inside of him, he set the key back down and leaned back in his seat.

The sound of the door sliding open made him turn. He found Rachel standing there.

“Hey…can’t sleep?”

He shook his head, “Did I wake you?”

“I sleep lightly. But I was already awake when I heard you come out here. I put some coffee on. Would you like some?”

“Sure…”

She stepped back inside and reappeared with two mugs a few moments later. “Stanley talks about you all the time.” After setting a mug down in front of him she gestured at the seat next to him, “mind if I join you?”

Terry wasn’t really looking for company but didn’t want to be rude, so he shrugged.

They sat quietly, she sipped on her coffee and glanced over the things he had sprawled across the table. She picked up the oldest newspaper clipping and examined it. “Where did you find this?”

He cleared his throat and shifted, “I found all this at the shop that I found that girl Deni in…I don’t know how much Stanley knows or told you.”

She smiled softly and continued to read through it.

Stanley was right she was thorough. After she finished that one, she picked up and read through the other two.

“You know these are all from different places not only different years. I’m not sure if that has any relevance. Also, if you notice there are crucial historical events mentioned in all of these.”

TJ picked one up and studied it before putting it back down and watching her pick up the note, something in him wanted to grab it from her.

“You know Stanley calls you Kid all the time…even when you’re not around. He talks about your dad a lot too.”

“He does?” he asked sitting up straighter. That was odd to him, he could rarely get Stanley to talk about his father, “What has he said?”

“Talks about their adventures and how when he was on the force, he couldn’t stand him. Thought he was crazy; said he was always getting into trouble and his explanations were wild. But that it was your dad who got him to realize that things aren’t always as they seem and that there’s sometimes more to the story. Told me that your father was the reason he left the force and a lot of the things he has taught me he learned and implemented from him. He sounded like a great guy.”

She glanced at her wristwatch, “I really should get some sleep. I have a busy day today…” she grinned at him, “you know Stanley has a weird way of doing things that often don’t make sense, but I’ve learned to go with it…I’ve found that he is giving me the tools to be able to figure out things on my own. Told him he’d make a great teacher, but he always grumbles when I say that.”

 Later that morning he woke to something tickling his nose and as he went to brush it away, he found himself smearing whipped cream over his face. “What the?”

Laughter rang through his ears, and he sat upright glaring at Eddi, “Seriously?”

“You looked like you could use some toppings.” Annoyed he wiped his face off and then caught Eddi beaming at him. Her smile was contagious, and he fought his own smile as he shook his head.

“You going to make a habit of this?”

“Probably.” She sat down next to him, “So I was thinking you should take me to that pawnshop. Maybe there’s something you missed.”

“That’s really what you want to do today?”

“Fuck yes…this mystery has me on the edge of my seat…and what Stanley said last night I mean dude if it’s your destiny…” she cast a lopsided grin his way.

Terry leaned back and yawned, “whatever that means.”

“Can’t find out if we sit on our asses all day.”

 They spent some time at the shop. Nothing had changed since his last visit. In his mind, it was a waste, but Eddi picked up some more newspaper clippings and explored the office while he paced aimlessly about, antsy and scatterbrained.

“I wonder who owns this place or used to and if it’s always been a pawn shop…” Edison rounded the corner coming back to the front from the office, she was holding a few documents. “Maybe we could go to the town hall or the library and check it out.”

“What’s the point?”

She looked sharply at him, “you need an energy drink or something Mr. Grumps?”

Exasperated he blew out a puff of air and turned away from her, “I just feel like this is all pointless and we are getting nowhere.”

“Maybe it is…but who knows. Deni came here for a reason. It wouldn’t hurt to gather all the information we can. Maybe there’s a connection between this building and Deni.”

TJ shrugged and nodded staring off for a moment and then glanced back at Eddi, “okay…maybe you’re right…”

“Duh, doofus…you used to love this shit.”

“It just seems like instead of finding any answers we keep coming up with more questions. And I’m beginning to think half these questions don’t even matter we are just on a wild goose chase going down random ass rabbit trails wasting fucking time and energy and I’m so damn exhausted.”

“Every problem, investigation, and experiment, start with questions and gathering information. You can’t jump ahead. When did you get so impatient?”

“When Deni vanished. When I almost lost you. When Stanley said this was my destiny. Fuck!” He wanted to punch something, he wanted to smoke, he wanted this frayed feeling in his nerves to go away, he wanted to sleep, but mostly he wanted to drink.

Edison watched as he balled his hands into fists, shut his eyes tightly, and clenched his jaw. His head hung on his shoulders like he carried the weight of the world.

He felt her hands wrap around his wrists. She didn’t speak and for some reason, he found that comforting. They just stood there silently, her silence reminding him to breathe.

“Good now stop acting like a jackass, you’re not alone in this. Shit happens. And this shit happens to have me feeling alive for the first time in a long time. What’s Stanley always saying about we gotta enjoy life? Can’t enjoy it if you’re avoiding it or beating yourself up for something that’s out of your control. Like he said last night be in the moment and focus on what it is you can do. And stop being a little bitch or I’m going to make you go take a nap while I go dig up some more dirt on all this.”

 ҉

 “What do you guys have so far?” Stanley wheeled up to the kitchen table where they sat with all their findings displayed on the table.

“Not sure yet…still going through it.” Eddi responded as she picked up one of the historical documents they had found on the building, “got some information on that old pawn shop, seeing if there’s anything there.”

“Smart.” He picked up the red velvet box and opened it.

TJ watched as Stanley stared at it for a moment then made eye contact with him.

“Your dad used to have a key like this. He kept a locker at the train station.”

“He did?” TJ’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Why would he keep a locker there?”

“You know how your dad was…secretive…mysterious, guess that’s what your mom found so appealing about him.” He set the key back down and began riffling through some of the papers.

“Maybe we should go check out the train station…I’m getting antsy anyways.” Eddi stood up and TJ followed.

 Smoke curled up from her black and mild as she stared across the street leaning against the brick wall of the train station. “What do you think Stanley meant when he said he dreams too?”

“Fuck if I know. Starting to feel like he’s been keeping me in the dark about a lot of things.” Terry kicked at a rock and then glanced at Eddi.

“Maybe he thinks he’s protecting you.”

“Feel like he and Mira have always babied me.”

Eddi laughed, “so you decided to grow up at 13 and start drinking and smoking.”

         He laughed, “I don’t know what I was doing. Rebelling…filling a void. Trying to fit in with airheads.”

         “You did find yourself a couple of airheads.”

         “I wouldn’t say that…maybe about you but Scotty was pretty level-headed.”

         “Oh, shut up,” she shoved him and then tossed out her cigar. “Come on let’s go investigate.”

         The train station was empty except for a few souls that milled about. “You really think we’re going to find something here?”

         “Don’t sound so cynical it doesn’t suit you.”

         Inside they made their way to the lockers. He glanced at the key and then at the lockers, “How are we supposed to know which one it goes to?”

         Edison took the key from him and looked at it, “Weird…you’d think it’d have a number to match a locker. Maybe it’s a copy…Guess we just try all of them…”

         “Seriously?” As if that wasn’t going to look sketchy.

         Smiling she shrugged and began trying, “I wonder which one was your dad’s…wonder if he still has stuff in it.”

         TJ sighed and followed behind as she tried multiple locks, “You’re really enjoying this.”

         “Maybe you would be too if you weren’t so moody…did you sleep any last night?”

         He shrugged in response.

         “Maybe we should go to Rowdy’s tonight.”

         Terry grimaced, “Sober karaoke…really?”

         “Yes, really let loose, clear your head, and have some fun. Besides, we haven’t been in forever and you owe me.”

         “I hate you.”

         Eddi smiled and tried a few more. He glanced around wondering if anyone had noticed them. Thankfully the handful of people in there seemed to be minding their own business. Light from the door flashed brightly, blinding him as it opened and shut. He turned his attention back to Eddi.

         “Yahtzee!”

         His immediate response was to say something stupid about her exclamation but remembering what they were doing he froze. Excitement and dread rushed over him. Was it anticipation that now had his stomach in knots? Part of him expected nothing to be in there, and the other hoped for anything.

         “You want to do the honors?” she had turned the key but left it shut and stepped back, “this is exhilarating.”

         Edison stepped back her eyes going from the locker to Terrence. The look on his face was worthwhile, whether they found anything in there she relished in the childlike wonder that lit his face. It had been years since she had seen that look, and now she realized she had been missing this side of him. It seemed to have died off with Scotty. Grief was a weird thing and she often wondered if the world didn’t recognize the little losses that everyone suffered throughout life; the loss of childhood innocence, the loss of parts of self as you grew and changed, the loss of imagination.

         Something pulled her attention away from Terry. She watched two men in suits go up to the information booth. There was something off about them that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

         The tremor in his fingers was undeniable as he pulled the locker open. Inside a pouch that he pulled out, he tried to settle his nerves.

         “Ter… let’s skedaddle.”

         The tone of her voice caused him to look up from the pouch and follow her gaze.

         “Something’s off with those suits.”

         They moved in unison towards the back door that led to the terminal of the train station. “Didn’t Mira say something about two men asking about Deni?”

         “I don’t think she said how many, just said some men dressed life Feds.”

         “Curious.”

         They hurried up the tracks crossed them and headed towards downtown.

         “Perfect timing for Karaoke!”

         TJ moaned.

         “Don’t be a party pooper…you going to open that thing or are you enjoying the suspense.”

         “Well, we were just on the run.”

         “Shut up and open it.”

         They kept their pace up as they walked past a few people. “Shit…I can’t do this and walk.”

         “You’re so excited it’s cute…acting like you found One-Eyed Willy’s treasure.”

         “Shut up!”

         She pulled him into an ally, “Fucking open it, man!”

         “Fine…” he opened the pouch. Fingers still shaking he pulled out a passport. As he went to examine it Eddi grabbed the pouch and began riffling through it. His eyes fell on her picture. It was her looking back at him, he got lost in her brilliant eyes, and it seemed like all else faded away.

         “Terry…” he didn’t respond, and she spoke his name one more time before snatching the passport out of his hand. “Holy…” her voice trailed off, “yeah I’d be in love too.”

         He swallowed coming back to reality.

         Eddi laughed, “man you got hit good with cupid’s arrow.”

         “I was beginning to think she was just a dream…”

         “Says her name is Candice…” she laughed “oh the ammo I have now.”

         “What else is in there?” he went to grab the pouch.

         “Just money and shit…” she studied the passport a little longer, “But now we know her identity. That’s huge!”

         “Sure…”

         “Well shit, Terry we weren’t going to find her in the locker.”

         “I know…I don’t know what I’m feeling right now.” He scratched the back of his head. “Guess I’m trying not to get my hopes up.”

         “This sounds like a good time to take a break. I’ll get this information to Stanley and let him take the lead on this and you and I will go dominate karaoke night.”

         “I’m not getting out of this am I?”

         “Maybe if you weren’t so mopey dick.”

         He begrudgingly followed her up the street. Edison rambled on about what songs they should sing. Terry tuned her out, not able to shake thoughts of Deni. As they reached the town square, he stopped dead in his tracks. The sensation that came over him started as a tingling in his left finger, strange yet familiar.

         Edison caught up in her own conversation was unaware that TJ was no longer with her. It wasn’t until she noticed that it was sprinkling that she slowed and then realized he wasn’t behind her. She turned around and found him standing a few feet back, frozen, the look on his face unreadable.

 ҉

         There was a longing, a pull inside of CJ that she had never known before. Until now she was content, or at least she thought she had been. But now she wondered if she was only content because she never knew anything different.

         Everything she knew to be true she never questioned. There were rules, forces of nature, that she abided by, even fought for, ready and willing to die for. Whatever was stirring in her now caused her to reexamine everything.

         “One day you will find yourself questioning, doubting everything you’ve ever been taught. Just remember this: there are things that we can change and there are things that are determined. You’ll have many questions but there is one that matters.” She could hear his deep resonating voice as though he was right beside her.

         The face and the voice that spoke caused a calmness to wash over her despite the doubt and uncertainty that she now wrestled with. Destiny was something she always accepted as fact; however, it was almost a foreign concept to her. It wasn’t until she stumbled upon TJ that it seemed to awaken inside her.

         “Destiny is as much inside us as it is around us. A power not of us but in us, a divining light directing all things for its purpose.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 8

“What’s this for?”

“If you ever lose your watch.” He paused and met her eyes looking at her intently, “Remember what I’ve told you.”

She nodded feeling a sense of urgency coming from him.

“It’s almost time…” glancing over his shoulder and then at his watch before he continued, “I have to go…CJ you are a star in a galaxy.” His mouth slanted into an endearing smile.

The way he smiled and the look in his eyes made her ponder how much he knew, and how little she knew. He was gone instantly, and she felt a sudden loss but pushed it aside.

Just a child then the memory felt so real, his voice still ringing clearly in her ears. His face had been a foggy memory until recently.

When she needed him most, he somehow managed to come through, even if it was just a memory, she found comfort in the lessons he taught, and the little joys he shared with her. He was the one that introduced her to music and told her to feel it and enjoy it. Simple joys got her through her rigorous schooling and training.

Now when she felt most lost and confused she clung to the little pendant he had given her and listened to the songs she had stored away in her memory banks. Safe and mending, for now, she knew it wouldn’t be long before she’d be found. The moment her mission had been compromised she became a liability. Time had always been a precious thing, but now she felt the weight of it and began to understand the ease with which one found themselves living in the past…dreading or hoping for the future.

She was a star in a galaxy, a galaxy filled with millions of stars, she was one bright light among many others but she was still shining…she still had life, purpose…Destiny.

 ҉

 “Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you. Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new.”

Terrence watched as Edison belted out Cyndi Lauper. She was a natural performer, owned the stage, the song, and captivated the crowd. He sipped from his Rowdy Ranger, the specialty mocktail for the night.

“If you’re lost you can look, and you will find me, time after time. If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting, time after time.” Eddi belted the lyrics feeling the release that came with the music.

Terry got caught up in the lyrics, brought to life by Eddi. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right, he needed this. With all that had happened, he had lost himself in fear and worry. After losing his dad and then Scotty he began to close off afraid to feel the weight of that loss again. It wasn’t fair to Eddi or to himself. He had forgotten what it felt like to be in the moment. His mind wandered to Deni and the way she had enjoyed the music; their short time together had been refreshing. Eddi was right this all was terrifyingly trippy and extremely exciting.

“Time after time…” the crowd exploded in shouts and applause as the song came to an end. Eddi bowed and then jumped off the stage. Terry was whooping and she came up to him. “I fucking crushed it!” She watched the smile spread across his face as he high-fived her.

“Watch out Cyndi Lauper.”

“Thanks, Terry. I’m glad you came.”

He laughed. and in unison they replied, “that’s what she said.”

         “Thanks for dragging me along. Don’t let it go to your head, but you were right.”

         Others came up to offer their praises as Terry closed out. He watched as she beamed looking alive and in her element.

 ҉

           Terrence held the note in his hand again staring at it. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he was thinking clearly, and he studied it with fresh eyes. He couldn’t shake what Rachel had said on the porch the other night. Stanley called him Kid because that’s what his father always called him. He jumped up from the table startling Eddi. She watched him rush to Stanley’s desk and rifle through some papers.

         “What is it?”

         He pulled out a card and looked at the handwriting his throat constricting. There was a tremor building in his fingers and he tightened his grip on the note and the card comparing the handwriting.

         “Terry?” the look on his face alarmed Edison and she stood to her feet from where she sat looking over records of the pawn shop. Stepping up beside him she glanced down at the note and then the card. She inhaled sharply noticing their likeness. “Terry?” Her gaze shifted up to his face. Dread and confusion shadowed it.

         “What…” he swallowed trying to clear his throat, “what does this mean?”

         “Similar handwriting…”

         He stared at it. No, it was a perfect match. How had he not seen this before? “Eddi…” his voice cut off and he turned and stormed out of the room and down the hall.

         “What are you not telling me?” his voice thick with trepidation as he stormed into Stanley’s room.

         “I’ve told you what you need to know,” Stanley replied pulling himself from his bed into his chair.

         TJ threw the note and card into his lap and clenched his hands into fists fighting the urge to lash out.

         Eddi glanced from Terry to Stanley who now studied the pieces of paper cautiously. She had never seen Stanley look so caught off guard.

         “Where’s the watch?”

         Stanley gestured to his dresser and spoke steadily, “It doesn’t work. I wasn’t sure it was your father. I had seen him wear one similar once.”

         “Where’d you find this one?”

         He pursed his lips and met TJ’s gaze, “I found it…when I was looking for answers to what happened to your father.”

         “What…what do you mean? What aren’t you telling me, Stanley?”

         “Terrence take a breath and listen.”

         “Stop it with your weird sensei shit.”

         Stanley closed his eyes.

         Eddi could see Terry losing his patience.

         “Your dad appeared in a few of my dreams. It was harder for me to accept than you. I think maybe it’s because you have always been like your dad.”

         “What are you saying…”

         “I don’t have the answers you’re looking for. All I have is what your dad told me. Believe me, kid I’ve been trying to unravel this mystery for a long time. I had a dream about the accident before it happened, only I couldn’t prevent it. Before that, I had dreams about different things. Your dad knew things that he shouldn’t have, he’d show up in places that he shouldn’t have been, and he had outlandish explanations that made it hard for me to trust him. But he proved himself over and over. Saved my life on multiple occasions but whenever I asked questions, he’d always say I ask a lot of questions…”

         “What…” his voice caught in his throat, and he felt his legs become weak, “what did you say?”

         Stanley stared at TJ.

         “Say that again…”

         Eddi was spooked by the way Terry’s voice shook, she watched him ease himself onto the bed his eyes looking distant as if they were searching for something far off.

         When Stanley didn’t speak, she glanced at him. She watched Stanley reach out and lay a hand on Terry’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything right away, but I wanted to confirm my suspicions. I wanted to have all the answers before I came to you. I don’t have any answers for you…all I know is this feeling. The moment I saw Deni I had a gut feeling that she was like your father…but I had no way of confirming that.”

         “Like my father?”

         “Like I said I don’t have answers…in fact, I don’t understand it…I learned not to ask questions, but to observe from your father. He’d only answer what he would say were the right questions.”

         Terrence felt like he couldn’t breathe. His head was spinning, and he closed his eyes.

         “TJ breathe…”

         “I can’t…” he shook his head and fought the wave of emotion that crashed over him, “I can’t…I don’t understand.”

         Eddi watched his face contort in torment before he buried it in his hands. She felt helpless as she stood there. Tears began to stream down her own face. “Stanley?”

         He glanced at her and smiled weakly before gesturing for her to come sit down next to Terry.

         Sitting down next to him she slowly wrapped her arm around his shoulders attempting to offer some sort of comfort. She’d seen him emotional but never quite like this.

“TJ…your connection with Deni is stronger than you know. I believe it’s stronger than the one I had with your father. You have many questions I know son…but think of the one that matters right now.”

Thick silence hung in the air and seemed to suck the oxygen from her own lungs. Eddi had no clue what was going through Terry’s head and found this all so uncomfortable and confusing. It was like trying to unwind a tangled ball of yarn.

TJ felt heavy and weak. He fought to regain control and took a deep breath before blowing it out and standing on his unsteady feet. “I need to get some air.”

 He walked down the street in the dark bitter cold of the night. His mind trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together, his heart feeling conflicted with emotions. Why did he feel angry? Was he mad at Stanley? At his dad? No, he wasn’t angry. Inadequate…he was feeling inadequate…useless and ashamed. That wasn’t easy to accept, he’d rather be angry. How was he supposed to fix inadequate? What was he supposed to do? What could he do? He was so lost and confused.

           “He’s a fighter…”

         Terrence’s eyes shifted from burning holes into the ground at his feet to Scotty’s older brother who spoke softly and uneasily. He looked rough, with dark circles under his eyes and hair disheveled. There was scruff on his ghostly face, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

         There were no words. He felt numb and empty.

         “Pup will pull through.”

         Was he trying to convince Terry or himself? His voice sounded hollow. Not sure how to respond only knowing that he knew in his gut that Scotty was already gone. He knew this feeling.

         They stood silently next to each other, holding up the exterior wall of the hospital. The air was brisk outside and seemed to bite his face with the wind. There was a pit in his stomach and a knot in his throat.

         “I swear if he dies on me, I’ll whoop his ass.”

         Silence followed his statement and Terry realized that Owen was crying. He felt strange standing there not sure how to offer comfort. Dull inside, afraid to feel the weight of this, knowing it was going to crush him once he did. Afraid to acknowledge Owen…afraid that it would make this all real.

         “It’s unfair. This world is so twisted. I go off to war and come home with not even a scratch on me and my kid brother gets shot in our own neighborhood. How does that make any sense?”

         Those words pulled at his heart and he felt the weight that Owen was bearing. Tears stung his eyes and he fought to keep his breathing even.

         “Fuck I’m sorry Terry…” Owen pulled him into a hug, “Can’t imagine what you’re going through. Being there. Seeing it happen. You didn’t deserve this either. Fucking war zone in our own neighborhood. Why are we going to fight in other countries when we don’t even have peace at home.” His voice was rough with emotion but steady. It was then that TJ broke down. The strength and comfort that Owen offered in spite of his own pain, shattered the barrier he had built up, and he crumbled in his embrace. Sobs wracked his body as he relived the bloody, horrifying night.

         “I’m here for you.” He pulled away and stared into Terry’s eyes, “I never knew your dad, but I know that he raised one of my brother’s best friends, and I’m grateful for that. No matter what happens, I’ll be here for you and Eddi. If there comes a day where you’re doubting yourself or you feel lost, confused, or like giving up…I’m here.”

         “Hey, let me call you back someone’s at the door.” He peeked through the peephole and then quickly unlocked the door and opened it. “Terry.”

         “Hey, Owen…”

         Owen stepped aside and gestured for him to come in. “Mom said you and Eddi stopped by her place the other night. I know she enjoyed seeing you two. Heard about Eddi’s apartment. Got the office working on finding Eddi a new place. How is she holding up?”

         “Actually, better than me.”

         “I wasn’t going to say anything, but you look awful.”

         “Thanks.”

         “Can I get you a drink?”

         “No.” Terry sighed and sat down, “I don’t really know why I’m here. I needed air and just started walking and ended up here.”

         “You know you and Eddi are always welcome. Haven’t seen you in a while. I’m glad you stopped by. What’s been going on?”

         Terry chewed on his bottom lip while he searched for words. “I’m so lost right now. I’m feeling inept…”

         Owen sat there quietly, as though he was letting Terry’s words sink in. After a moment he broke the silence, “Are you inept, incompetent, useless?”

         He thought about the question. The wrong answer was yes but that’s how he was feeling…were his feelings not valid?

         “Terry…you know the answer. Maybe you’re overwhelmed by a situation or maybe it’s something else, but you’re lying to yourself right now. You’re not going to find the answers while you’re lying to yourself. What is it you’re really feeling?”

         Suddenly, he felt trapped, forced to examine himself. He huffed out a shaky sigh, “I’m fucking terrified.”

         “There it is.” Owen leaned back into the couch, “You’re no less of a man for feeling or admitting that. Now, why are you terrified? How is this fear making you feel?”

          “Frozen, paralyzed…I can’t think clearly. I’m afraid of what I’m going to find. I’m afraid of asking the right questions. I’m afraid of getting hurt, or someone I care about getting hurt.”

         “So you’re not inept…you’re frozen in fear?” Owen patted him on the back, “Progress…” Owen stood up and grabbed something from his shelf. “You know I’ve been frozen in fear many times. There were a few times before boxing matches that I stood in the locker room psyching myself out. I let the fear get bigger than me and control me.”

         “What did you do?”

         “Scotty once told me that he liked fear…saw it as a challenge. Himself challenging himself, and when you face fear, you can’t fail.” He chuckled softly as he turned around looking back at Terry, “One of my first big fights, Scott was still pretty young, his small scrawny self. I was standing in the locker room trying to get the courage to face the music but instead, I was being eaten alive by my fear. He came in to wish me luck, and I guess he could tell I was afraid because he said ‘If you don’t fight him, I’m going to.’ He wasn’t fearless…he was courageous.”

         He stepped up to Terry, “Here I want you to have this. Scotty gave it to me before I went off to boot camp…told me then that the only fight I ever had to win was the one against myself. Those words got me through some pretty rough times.”

         “I can’t take this.” TJ swallowed as he looked up from the pendant to Owen.

         “Terry, I want you to have it.” He pressed it into his hand. “It’s the Celtic symbol for courage…”

         TJ swallowed the lump in his throat and studied the pendant. “Owen…I don’t know what to say.”

         “I think you need to go talk to Eddi.” He smiled at him, “If I know you at all you live too much in your head…you’re going to lose the fight against yourself if you keep doing that.”

         “When did you become a psychologist.”

         “I’ve just been to a lot of therapy.” Owen laughed and pointed at his head, “believe it or not I’m pretty messed up in here.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 9

          There was a time when Edison went by her first name when she believed in magic and happy endings. Over time she became jaded and broken. It started at home and then followed her to school, a dark cloud that she could never seem to escape. That was until she met Scott. He stood up for her and had her back when no one else did. Owen and Scott taught her how to defend herself and gave her the courage to stand up for herself, to speak for herself.

         Cheri stopped trying to paint this perfect picture to hide the scars and brokenness and began to express her true self. She no longer cared about what others said or about being bullied. While she was still broken she found herself freer than ever before.

         The cigar box resting in her lap held memories and trinkets that reminded her of Scotty and the gift of time she had with him. Eddi opened it and pulled out the picture on top, the three of them at the skatepark, an old-fashioned selfie. She couldn’t help but smile at the goofy look on Scotty’s face, Terry’s cool closed-lip smile, and her tough girl tongue-out and rock-finger pose. The picture perfectly captured the three of them together. Eddi couldn’t deny that she missed Scotty and those times, but she knew she wouldn’t be who she was today if it wasn’t for those moments. Losing Scotty was hard and felt unfair. It broke her to her core. But it was because of Scotty that she was no longer afraid of being broken, as he said everyone was broken it was how you put the pieces back together that mattered, you could either be a broken masterpiece or a broken mess.

 ҉

         Back at Stanley’s, it was late, and he softly closed and locked the door before treading lightly down the hall. He found Eddi asleep, curled up on top of the covers of the bed; light still on, cigar box at her side, and the picture of the three of them in her hand.

         “Eddi…” he whispered before chewing on his lip wondering if he should wake her or let her sleep.

         He reached for the cigar box to move it and she stirred. Opening her eyes, she saw Terry and swiftly sat up and snatched the cigar box from his hand. “I was worried about you.” Her voice was rough with sleep, and she cleared her throat.

         “I’m sorry.” TJ sat down beside her. “I had to work through some things…”

         She noticed the pendant hanging around his neck and toyed with it, “Owen give this to you?”

         He glanced at her, “yeah wandered to his place. Told me I should talk to you.”

         “Yeah, you should knucklehead. What’s going on?”

         Terry met her gaze and searched it. “You’re incredibly brave…sometimes I forget how strong you are.”

         “What?!” she scoffed at him and punched him in the shoulder, “Bro, I could take you.”

         “I don’t doubt it. Never want to get on your bad side.” He sighed his gaze falling to his lap. “It’s easier for me to tell myself to be strong for you…often get caught up trying to protect you…you’ve been through so much.” Terry paused and began fidgeting with a hole in his jeans. “I want to protect you from going through more shit, want you to be safe and happy, and selfishly I’m afraid of losing you.” The last part was hard to admit.

         The words sank in and Eddi didn’t say anything, she sat there quietly shifting slightly so that her shoulder rested against his.

         After a deep breath, he continued. “I’ve been terrified of getting hurt again and all this has brought up old feelings and fears that I had been able to squash…until now…when I realized that the handwriting on that note was my father’s…I know I knew it. It just didn’t make sense and I didn’t want to believe it. I’m terrified of the answers I’m going to find.”

         “What do you think you’re going to find?”

         He shook his head, “I have no clue…the unknown scares me…what’s worse is the idea of reliving that loss…”

         “You’re not alone this time…” she placed her hand on his.

         “I know…” he turned his hand over and squeezed hers.

         “And you don’t know what you’re going to find…but you do know that you can face it. It’s your destiny.” She said the last part with a hint of irony.

         “Deni said I ask a lot of questions…”

         Eddi studied his face as he stared at his hands, waiting for him to further explain.

         “When Stanley said my dad used to tell him he asked a lot of questions it was like I couldn’t lie to myself anymore…I couldn’t deny what I was feeling. When I met Deni, I was attracted to her but it was strange…spending time with her I felt like I knew her. And then when she was gone it felt like…” he shook his head. “I just had to know who she was. I couldn’t…can’t shake it…and that note…that watch…I felt like it was meant for me. But I ignored it because it didn’t make sense and it scared me. Why or how would…” his voice trailed off. “I wanted to lose the watch and all of this to go away because I was scared but now…I’m disappointed in myself for letting fear get the best of me. For not taking advantage of finding the watch. For missing out on opportunities with you…” His gaze shifted back to hers. “I’m sorry for a lot of things Eddi.”

         Her gaze shifted and he noticed the worried look in her eyes. She blinked hard and shifted on the bed.

         “You okay?”

         She shook her head slightly, “You know I worry about you too.” Eddi swiped at the tears on her cheeks, “You’re the best gift Scotty ever gave me. We all let fear get to us every now and then.”

         He blinked away his own tears and smirked at her, “What could Eddison possibly be afraid of?”

         She opened the cigar box and stared inside, “I don’t know how this got in here. But when I was waiting for you to get back I found it in here. And I was afraid of telling you…” she pulled out the watch and held it up.

         Terry stared at it in wonder, “How?”

         “I don’t know…like you said a lot of this doesn’t make sense.”

         She watched him work his jaw as he marveled at it. Then he cautiously took it from her.

         “I was afraid if it was the reason for the fire…”

         Terry nodded in understanding as he studied the watch. Then he put it back in the cigar box and met her gaze, “thanks Eddi.”

         “For what?”

         “For making me feel less of a scaredy cat.”

         She laughed and he smiled at the melodious sound of it.

 ҉

           Sunshine scattered beams of light through the branches of the trees. Foliage lined the trail they hiked. The ground was crisp, the air cool and refreshing. It was the perfect day just him and his father. He had caught two fish and his father taught him how to gut and clean one. At first he was grossed out but watching his father gracefully do the first one and wanting so much to be like him he followed suit on the second one. It wasn’t easy but he felt accomplished.

         They hiked through the woods back to camp. The sounds of the forest and the sense of them being the only two people on the planet made the moment feel serene. As his father cooked the fish he explored the surrounding woods finding different rocks and sticks that he collected. He piled them up near their camp as little treasures. TJ showed his father some of his favorites and his father smiled fondly at him.

         “There’s another treasure out there. Let’s eat and then we’ll go on a treasure hunt.”

         He was so excited about the prospect of treasure hunting with his dad he scarfed down his fish. His father laughed at him and called him a cub before roughing his hair. Exploring the forest with his father was the perfect moment. At times his father gave him clues, there were certain points where he made TJ pause and really pay attention to his surroundings. He pointed out different things, indicating their significance, being meticulous as he always was.

         “Everything has its purpose TJ.” His father paused and knelt to meet his eye level. “This spot right here. What do you see?”

         TJ looked around, observing cautiously as his father had taught him. The way the branches overlapped each other caused this spot to be more shaded and covered than others. There was a small outcropping of rocks in the middle of this clearing surrounded by big trees. TJ felt like he was in a fort and spun around smiling only stopping when he noticed the spots of sunlight peeking in through the tree trunks from the west.  He wandered forward, weaving around the threes, coming out into a clearing.

           His eyes fluttered open, and he inhaled. Blinking to clear the sleep from them he sat up and glanced over to where Eddi was. She sat on the bed quietly scanning through a graphic novel.

         “Ever think that some of these are just bogus?”

         He couldn’t get the pictures of his dream out of his head, it felt like a distant memory that he had long ago buried.

         When he didn’t respond she glanced at him, “Terry? You good? Have another dream?”

         “No, Yes…I don’t know.”

         Eddi shifted towards him, “Yes or no?”

         “Yesterday…when we were…” TJ paused, “When we were at the town square and I paused…”

         “More like froze like a statue…”

         “Yeah…I lied…I wasn’t just clearing my head…”

         “I’m not an idiot. Figured you were having one of your moments, weirdo.”

         “It was like I was daydreaming…dreaming…awake but dreaming.”

         She eyed him and stopped herself from poking fun at him.

         “I saw Deni…as a girl running and dancing around in this field. It felt like I was there. I could feel the breeze and hear the birds chirping, hear her giggling.” Terry was staring off remembering how real and strange the whole experience was. He blinked and then met Eddi’s questioning eyes, “I think I know where she is.”

         “How? Where?”

         “I don’t know how…It’s just this feeling and this dream I just had. It looked so familiar. I had forgotten all about the time my dad took me camping and fishing. We went on a treasure hunt, and it was so similar to the place I saw Deni.”

         “So, you think she’s there?”

         “Yeah…I don’t really remember where it is. But I remember being there with my dad.”

         “How do you know she’s there? Why would she be there? How did she get there?”

         “You ask a lot of questions.”

         She smirked at him, “Come on Terry.”

         “I don’t know…”

         “You just know.”

         “Yeah…” he cast a lopsided grin her way.

         “Okay, how do we find this place?”

         “That’s a good question. Maybe…” he stood up and began rifling through a shelf and pulled out a photo album. It was coated in dust, and he wiped it off. TJ sat down next to Eddi and began flipping through it.

         It had been years since he had looked at these pictures. He’d always hated the way the memories made him feel. His fingers paused and traced a picture of him holding a fish.

         “You were so adorable what the fuck happened?”

         “Shush…” his eyes wandered to the picture under it. His father had turned the camera and captured a picture of the two of them.

         “You were so happy.” She looked up from the picture and noticed the distant look on his face, “You okay?”

         “Yeah…” Terry pulled the picture from the sleeve and closed the album. “It’s been a while since I looked at these or thought about those times I had with him. “It always felt like he left, not like we lost him…and I think I hated him for it…hated myself for it.”

         Eddi watched him swallow hard and she nodded in understanding, “your dad loved you…these pictures, those memories are proof of it. Who you are is proof of that.” She wrapped her arm around him and squeezed his shoulder. “The fact that you live by the motto he taught you is proof of that. Loss and grief are hard as a child. Trying to make sense of it all, to understand it all. Doesn’t help that your dad was a bigger weirdo than you and Stanley combined.”

         He bit big a grin, “you’re terrible at this comforting thing.”

         “Shit, rub some dirt on it, Terry.”

         “Thanks, Eddi. Let’s get ready we got a big day ahead of us.”

           While Eddi showered Terry got changed and put together a few things in his backpack. He was feeling anxious and gripped the pendant around his neck. The small reminder from Owen brought comfort and peace of mind. He took a deep breath and sat on the bed pulling open Eddi’s cigar box. Her collection of trinkets reminded him of her soft side that she kept well-guarded. There was a rabbit’s foot, a marble, Rubik’s cube keychain, and an arrowhead among other things.

         Gathering up his courage he pulled out the watch and set the box aside. He studied it carefully. His mind tried to wrap around the feeling that it was left for him by his father. The notion seemed so far-fetched, but he couldn’t deny that it was true. His father’s handwriting and the feeling in his gut…in his chest.

         After a moment, without giving it much thought he put it on. The pressure in his chest made it hard to breathe, a strange emotion that caused his eyes to prickle with tears. Desire and maybe hope tainted with trepidation was the best way he could describe it.

 ҉

           Eddison towel dried her short brown hair and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Normally she would do her face up with dark eye liner and depending on the day dark or bright neon eye shadow. Today she was feeling rather plain. There was a strange sense of nervousness, anticipation, and maybe a hint of dread tainted by the grief she was experiencing. Missing Scotty more than she had in a long time, maybe it was lack of sleep. The way his presence gave her a sense of comfort and strength in the face of the unknown.

         Her mind wandered to the first time Scotty approached her at school.

         “You ever see The Invisible Man?”

         “No…” she measured him, unsure of his intentions.

         “I suppose not…he’s invisible.” He laughed at his own lame joke. “You want to come over and watch it for Halloween?”

         “Why would I?”

         “Why not? My brother and I pick out random old movies to watch for different holidays.”

         “Why are you inviting me?”

         “Cheri…it’s a scarry night I need a buddy.”

         Her eyebrows bunched up and she looked at him skeptical.

         “I can see that you aren’t too thrilled with the idea. May I entice you with my mom’s famous brownies? We may even get fancy and make Sundaes.”

         The famous brownies had been shared in class on birthdays and holidays for a few years now. Too be honest they were here favorite, she never really got treats like that at home.

         “I see you’re circling the bait. There will be sour gummy worms as well.” He grinned at her and then back stepped a little before continuing, “Eddison think about it. If you decide it’s a no go. We can do something another time. Mom’s brownies are always on the table.”

         She watched him turn around and skip off to class. He was strange but also seemed like one of those people where nothing could touch him. Not invincible but unfazed by the taunts of other kids and the school bullies.  

         Edison remembered how when they finally started hanging he recreated Halloween night for her to make up for her not coming that night. Scotty had always been chill and thoughtful like that.

           “Have you seen Terry?” Eddi stepped into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee.

         “I thought he was getting ready in the guest room,” Stanley replied as he folded up the newspaper and set it on the kitchen table.

         She sipped her coffee and wondered if maybe he had gone on another walk or had stepped out back. He had a lot going on in his head right now, although he did seem much more collected this morning. “He thinks he might know where Deni is.”

         “Yeah?” Stanley wheeled around to look at her, “Rachel is on her way over we were going to look through the files you brought from the town hall. Rick is supposed to call with information on Deni…Candice’s passport. Figured we’d hang around here and wait for his call. Where does he think she is?”

         Eddison shrugged and sipped some more coffee before responding. “Some place his father took him when he was a kid. Showed me a picture from one of the albums in the guest room. Said he had a couple of dreams.”

         She watched Stanley mull that over before rolling to the sink and setting his mug in it. “Maybe we can all go check it out later.”

         “You worried about him?”

         Stanley was quiet and then responded, “I always worry about him.”

         Eddi nodded, “Me too.”

 ҉

           Mira set her coffee down and stared at the article in the newspaper. Suddenly angry and worried she swiftly turned and walked up to the counter, “Rachel what do you know about this?”

         Rachel glanced over the espresso machine to see Mira standing with heat in her eyes holding up the article about the fire at Eddison’s place. Her eyebrows shot up and her lips tightened. She shrugged, “they haven’t found a cause for the fire. Good thing Eddi’s staying at Stanley’s hu?”

         “How come no one told me about this?’

         “Not sure. You know Eddison, nothing can touch her. In fact, I wouldn’t have even known if Stanley hadn’t told me.”

         Mira took a deep breath and set the paper down. Maybe she was getting carried away, maybe she did worry too much. Those suits had alarmed her, and as usual, she’d build up scenarios in her mind, it didn’t help that she worked at a clinic. The longer she was there the wilder her mind got.

         “Maybe Stanley’s right I need a vacation,” she mumbled to herself as she turned and left.

         Rachel watched her leave wondering if Mira was heading to Stanley’s. She was destined to find out what they all were up to, and Rachel didn’t want to miss that show. Smirking to herself she reached for the phone.

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 10

         The sound of his heart beating pounded in his ears. Darkness seemed to swallow him, his head felt like static, or more like a roaring ocean. His throat felt dry, and he swallowed and took a deep breath. The air coming through his nostrils smelt like pine and was crisp. That was when he realized he was lying on his back. The ground underneath him was hard and rough. His fingers twitched and then moved. TJ’s hands grazed against what felt like grain, dirt, straw, pine needles, pebbles, rocks. Where was he?

         There was a ringing in his ears that he hadn’t noticed before, it was loud and sharp. It began to taper off being replaced by the subtle sound of leaves rustling in a soft breeze and birds chirping. His eyelids felt heavy, and he struggled to blink them open. Finally, blinking once, twice…his vision was blurry. Brown, grey, green, spots of blue, stars. He blinked again no, not stars. As his vision began to clear he realized he was looking up at branches of tall trees. Blue and grey speckled spots of the morning sky peeking through the branches that displayed like a canopy over him.

         Sucking in another breath of air, this time through his mouth he slowly blew it out and attempted to move. His body felt heavy, and his head throbbed, a dull pain that spread from the back of his head to his forehead. TJ shifted his head it felt like a bowling ball attached to his neck. It was then that he realized it felt better with his eyes closed. What happened?

 ҉

           Eddison sat on the couch staring at one of the documents from the old pawn shop. It looked like an old deed, but she wasn’t really processing what she was looking at. Her mind was elsewhere.

         “Are you sure he went for a walk?” Stanley asked as he came into the den.

         Trying not to appear as worried as she was she sighed and picked up a few more of the files. “I’m not sure. He might have gone back to Owen’s to get information on this place he thinks Deni is. I was planning on going over there to have him look through these anyways.”

         Stanley’s brows knitted together as he looked at her unconvinced.

         The front door opened, and they both spun around.

         “Howdy! I brought some goodies.” Rachel held up a white paper bag of baked goods.

         Eddi clenched her jaw to keep her disappointment at bay and gave Stanley a closed-lip smile as she grabbed her bag.

         “Borrow my truck.” He tossed her his keys and shifted his attention to Rachel, “I’ll take a donut.”

           Eddison cruised the neighborhood lapping around a couple of times before pulling up to Owen’s. She knew that Terry wasn’t here, and she sat with the truck idling. Her mind was racing. For the first time since Scotty had been shot, she felt completely helpless.

         This feeling made it nearly impossible to assess the current situation and avoid reliving the past. Remembering how she was on her way to the empty lot where they had put together a half pipe and a couple of makeshift bike jumps. There were a couple of bench seats from junked SUVs they had placed in the lot and an old metal drum they had used for fire on cold nights or just to burn things. The sound of gunfire ringing through the still night air. It was always a blurred memory of her skateboarding, freezing at the sound, her heart dropping into her stomach. Running, her feet beating against the sidewalk, blue and red lights painting against blackness, blurred vision, the sound of screaming sirens.

         “Eddi…” a muffled voice and a tapping. She jumped and came back to the present. Owen was knocking on the truck window, and she rolled it down.

         His eyes searched her face before speaking again, “Hey Cailín…what’s the story?”

         Eddison blinked and met Owen’s concerned stare. He was the only one to call her by that Irish slang and had since she was a girl. Hearing it now brought slight comfort, “Have you seen Terry?”

         “He was here last night.”

         She swallowed hard and shifted her gaze to the door. Her mind working.

         “Come on in.” he opened the truck door for her, and she got out and followed him inside.

         “Did Terry tell you what was going on?”

         Owen glanced over his shoulder at her as he pulled two drinks out of the fridge and threw one her way, “You know Terry.” He smiled encouragingly at her. “What’s eating at your pretty mind?”

         “I have a sick feeling in my gut…but I’m not sure if it’s just worry…” she reached into her bag and pulled out the documents and the photo album. “I was going to ask you to look through these documents for us, but…” Eddi opened the album and flipped through it, “Do you know how to find where this place is?”

         He took the album and sat down on the couch with her. His eyes seemed to study it intently. Minutes passed before he spoke, “could be a few places…is there a way we can narrow it down? Maybe Mira or Stanley would recognize the place?”

         Her eyes glanced back at the picture of a young TJ in the woods, “I didn’t want to worry Mira…I should have asked Stanley but I was hoping Terry was just walking the neighborhood.”

         Owen got up and went to his desk and rifled through some papers pulling out a map. Unfolding it he began to explore it and then picked up the phone, “Hey what do you know about fish?”

 ҉

 Standing on the shore waves splashing against the sand and rolling back into the ocean. Sun beat down on him like a warm embrace, the cool water rushing over his bare feet was a sweet contrast. The breeze seemed to dance about him. He glanced down at his hands they looked older than he remembered rough and worn. His eyes noticed the pendant hanging around his neck and he reached for it running his thumb over the symbol.

Children’s laughter sang like music in his ears and he looked behind him to see a blurred vision of them chasing each other giggling. There was a woman in a sun dress tossed by the wind, and she seemed to be watching them her gaze shifting to him and staring.

There was a feeling of ease and contentment that came from within. His eyes turned back to the sea, watching the waves roll in. This moment was so serene. Foam from the breaks of the waves glided back and forth. Salt air, waves breaking, mist hitting his face from the waves and the wind.

He inhaled and opened his eyes. Mist from the ocean turned to mist from rain trickling through the branches above him. TJ sat up abruptly. His head responded in throbbing pain. Clenching his eyes shut and breathing through the pain, he ran his fingers through his hair and noticed a moist sticky spot behind his right ear. Pulling his fingers down he discovered blood.

“Shit…” that explained the headache. He pressed his bandana against it and then struggled to his feet. His eyes scanned the surroundings. Tall trees encircled him, boulders sat to one side of him, and at his feet a few rocks that seemed to have tumbled from the rock outcrop. This place looked oddly familiar, and he wracked his brain as he tried to remember how he ended up here.

His left hand reached for the pendant as he tried to calm his nerves. The watch on his wrist triggered the memory of him in the room waiting for Eddi. “Eddi?” He studied the watch. It ticked normally the time reading 10:13.

Anxious he began walking through the trees looking around. It looked a lot like the memories from his dreams. Stepping on undergrowth and weaving through trunks he finally made it to a clearing and stopped short.

She stood her arms outstretched and her head back looking up at the sky like she was catching raindrops on her tongue. Her hair was free and swayed in the breeze. His heart pounded in his chest and his throat tightened. Was he dreaming?

He took a step forward raindrops falling softly rolling through his hair and down his exposed skin. TJ swallowed hard wondering if he kept moving would he ruin this tranquil moment.

Deni spun in a circle and froze then turned on her heel and stared in wonderment at TJ. She started walking to him, he was frozen afraid he’d wake from this dream. Then his feet started moving. The sound of her giggling was like a song in his ears. And then they stood a foot apart, her jasper eyes twinkling up at him.

“I dreamt of this moment.” She smiled, “I have something to show you.”  Deni took his hand in hers, it was soft and warm. Then she began to lead him back towards the trees.

Was he dreaming? He couldn’t be here. He was in Stanley’s guest room waiting for Eddi to wake him up. TJ’s feet stopped, her hand tugging on his. She turned and looked him over, “Are you okay?”

“How…what’s happening?” His mouth felt dry and his throat tight with emotion that he couldn’t place. He swallowed hard, his eyes not leaving hers.

Deni smiled softly at him. “Didn’t your father tell you the importance of asking the right questions?”

His heart was racing, his head aching, “My father?”

Her response was silence. Then she stepped closer to him and stared into his eyes as if searching his mind and waiting for him.

“What’s the right question? Am I dreaming are you real?” He swallowed, “What do you know about my father?”

Deni giggled. “Come on.” Her hand tugged on his and she began to lead the way again, walking gracefully as though her feet barely touched the ground. As they made their way through the trees she began to sing softly.

He listened soothed by her melodious voice and the feeling of her hand in his. The questions that plagued him seemed to dissipate, the rain let up and the chill that had settled in his bones seemed to thaw.

They veered off the trail to the left through a thicker set of trees. He walked cautiously, stepping over fallen branches and careful not to slip on the slick rocks. She seemed unhindered by the path as though she was well acquainted with it.

Her song ended and she paused glancing back at him smiling encouragingly.

“You have a beautiful voice.”          “I’m glad you’re here.” She turned and wound through a few more trees before bringing them to a small clearing and stopping.

TJ’s eyes took in the quaint log cabin, with a small deck and a firepit off to the side. He studied its surroundings noticing there was no clear trail or dirt road to it. It was completely surrounded by big trees and there looked to be a drop-off not far behind it.

“Come inside.”

He followed her inside, “Is this your place?”

Deni remained silent and walked up to a small side table and picked up something, she stared at it for a moment.

TJ let his eyes adjust to the dim lighting. It was a warm homey little place. A couch, its frames made out of logs a matching coffee table and end table a bed off to the far corner, a small kitchen with a small wooden kitchen table, and a stone fireplace. “Where are we?”

Deni turned towards him. He immediately noticed the tears in her eyes and stepped towards her. She smiled weakly and handed him what she was holding. His gaze shifted from hers to the object in her hands.

 ҉

 “I need a beer.” Stanley stated. Rachel retrieved one from the fridge. “Owen, you mind taking this one for me…Keep Eddi safe and make sure the kid is good?”

“I just don’t understand how he could have gotten there or why he would have gone on his own…” Rachel’s voice trailed off when she realized the look on Stanley’s face. “Right…” She opened the beer and handed it to him.

Eddi stood in the guest room wondering if or what she was missing. She grabbed the cigar box off the bed and opened it pausing when she noticed that the watch was missing. She swallowed hard as her fingers began to tremble. Shifting things around in the box hoping it was just hidden under things. Her shaking hands fumbled with it, and she watched as it fell to the carpet its contents scattering.

Fighting her nerves and frustration she clenched her jaw as she dropped to the floor and began picking up her cherished treasures. That’s when she noticed the picture under the bed. She grabbed it and sat back on her haunches.

“Hey, Stanley’s getting some supplies ready for us.”

Her head swiveled towards the doorway finding Owen stepping in.

“Are you good?”

“The watch is gone…”

“Watch ya gonna do about it?”

“Eww so much worse than Scotty.” She stood up and handed him the picture, “I thought he had this with him.”

Owen studied the picture of young TJ and his father. “He never talked about his dad…” His gaze shifted back to hears and he could see the worry and fear written all over her face. “What’s got you so wound up?”

Eddi closed her eyes and fought back a scoff not sure if she was irritated with his lame jokes or with this situation. “This watch…I don’t know but I feel like it’s been the common thread to all our problems since he met this girl named Deni and her’s went missing or was taken or…Fuck.” She gripped her hair.

“Cailín…what can I do? What can we do?” he put her hands on her shoulders and she found herself fighting tears. “Now don’t do that…let it out girly…come on.” He pulled her to his chest, “You’ll be better at thinking once you do.”

She clenched her eyes shut a few tears escaping, her breath hot reflecting off his shirt. Owen’s arms wrapped tightly around her steadied her and she allowed herself to release. When her chest finally felt a little lighter, she sniffled and spoke with a shaky voice, “I’m usually the one making jokes, or making light of the situation. Your jokes suck.”

Owen laughed, “I was just trying to take some pressure off you. Now, what do we know?”

“Deni and Terry are MIA.”

She paused and he patiently waited for her to continue.

Eddi held her breath for a moment. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and then blew out a ragged breath. “Deni said something to him about someone taking her watch. Then Terry found a watch with a note in this abandoned pawn shop that he had taken Deni to…it was a weird watch, so he asked me to help with it. And it was at my place when the fire started…I thought we lost it in the fire…but it somehow ended up in my cigar box and now Terry and the watch are missing.” She paused and met Owen’s hazel eyes. “Yesterday he decided that that note and watch were left for him by his father…said it was his father’s handwriting…this all sounds wild doesn’t it?”

He offered a small encouraging smile, “I have one question.”

She searched his eyes.

“Do you trust me?”

Eddi stared at him and nodded.

“Good…because I don’t think you’re going to like my plan.” He offered a small smile and squeezed her shoulders. “You’re tense…I need you to clear your head. And I need you to trust that you and TJ are important to me.”

“Owen…”

“Eddi…you need to blow off some steam. I need you to have a clear head. I’m going to go through some of those files and talk to Stanley. I want to have some idea of what we are up against. There’s no sense going in blind. And if someone was willing to burn you alive over this watch, kill over this watch then I’m not messing around.”

She went to protest, and he pressed a finger to her lips. The look of compassion and concern shadowed his eyes and caused her to concede.

“Cailín…trust me…” his eyes held hers. “Even if we leave now, we aren’t going to have much daylight. If he’s not back tonight we will leave early…get there by dawn and have the whole day to look for him and Deni…Trust me…go skate or smash some shit or go for a run…whatever you need to do to blow off some steam. You’ve had a pretty stressful few days.”

Eddi nodded slightly, “I don’t like this.”

Owen ruffled her hair, “me either…but only fools rush in.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 11

 There are certain memories that haunt me. I tried to drown them out, but the more I did the more they would seem to slither their way into different areas of my mind, such as my nightmares. Scotty woke me from one once and asked if that’s why I hated sleeping. His smart ass said, “remember you’re the one that came through those, you beat those levels, look back on them as the victor, those are your medals of honor, you might have come out of them with some battle wounds, but you survived and conquered.” I was into comic books at the time, so I decided to turn my nightmares, memories, and dreams into graphic novels. It was my personal way of processing and coping…overcoming.

“Come on it’s your turn.” Rachel held out a softball for Eddi, she put her journal and pen down before taking it.

Glancing at the bottles she lined up and tossed the ball up a couple of times before getting in her stance and pitching it at one of them. The sound of the glass shattering was satisfying. “This was a great idea…Thanks, Rachel.”

“Used to do this after my dad bailed. He’s the one that taught me how to play baseball…softball…guess it was only fitting to use it to take out my anger and stress.”

“Sorry, your dad bailed…that must have been hard.” Eddi grabbed another ball from the bucket and threw it and then glanced at Rachel.

“I think the hardest part was trying not to blame myself.”

Edison threw a couple more and then went and set up some bottles for Rachel.

She watched Rachel unleash on the targets and shook her head as she laughed. “Didn’t realize you were such a beast.”

“Hide it well under my cardigans and horn-rimmed glasses.” She smiled softly at Eddi.

“I guess it’s true what they say. Don’t judge a book by its cover, a true Clark Kent is in our midst.”

Rachel laughed and tossed a softball at Eddi, “Barista by day, undercover private investigator by night fighting for justice.”

Edison threw a couple more and shook her head, “We can do better than that.” She smirked at Rachel as she took her turn.

“When my dad left my mom took up drinking. One day I took some of her unopened beers and smashed them…that was the greatest release ever until she caught me…” she paused, “I thought for sure she was going to rip me a new one. Instead, she went into the house silently…then she came out with the rest of the beer lined them up and started going hard with my bucket of softballs. She was crying and screaming expletives and laughing. Straight manic. Best bonding experience, we ever had.”

“Sounds perfect.” Eddi smiled at the thought and picked up her journal.

Reflecting back, I see that my survival, my victories were never won alone. Owen didn’t win his battles in the ring and overseas alone, Terry didn’t conquer his mental wars on his own, and I didn’t survive the trenches of my home front without someone joining my fight. By myself, I was often powerless. “And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

“Cailín come check this out.” Owen’s voice interrupted them.

“What is it?” Edison asked following him inside.

He guided her to the computer. “I looked up the name of the company that owned the pawn shop and found this…” He pointed at the screen.

Her brows furrowed as she studied the picture, “is that…”

 ҉

 Mira’s hands shook as she washed them.

“You all right hon?” Edith stepped up behind her.

She blew out a shaky breath and nodded.

“Dr. Stevenson is here. You should head home and get some rest.”

Tonight topped the chart as one of the hardest shifts she’d ever worked at the clinic. As much as she loved helping others there was no denying the toll it often took on her mental and emotional state. Seeing that poor battered child, and not being able to do much more than offer comfort while they waited for a transfer to the children’s hospital. She did everything she could. It was obvious the child had suffered abuse.  

After cleaning up she headed to her car and decided to head to Stanley’s. Part of her wanted to go home and suffer alone. But she knew it would be better to go spend time with Terry and Stanley. She drove in silence. Minutes passed before she found herself at a red light realizing she had been driving on autopilot. Mira took a deep breath and blew it out as she glanced in her rearview mirror and continued on when the light turned green.

Rain began to fall against the windshield. The sound was rhythmic. She flipped the wipers on and glanced in her rearview mirror a few more times. Then she picked up her phone and dialed.

“Stanley…I think I’m being followed.”

 ҉

           His fingers trembled as he took the picture frame from Deni. It was made out of sticks and stones glued together, sticks and stones he remembered collecting as treasure and giving to his father. The picture in the frame was the same one he had pulled from the photo album at Stanley’s. Terry’s legs felt weak and he sank into the couch as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Tears wet his cheeks, but he only noticed when they dropped onto the glass protecting the picture of him and his father.

         Deni gently placed her hand on his shoulder as she sat next to him.

         “He kept these…” his voice sounded small and weak.

         “Always said it’s the things we cherish that illustrate the stories of our lives.”

         Terry couldn’t pull himself from the frame, his fingers traced the sticks, lost in the memory.

         “You have his eyes. The light that shines through you is indistinguishable from your father’s.”

         Her voice was soft and sweet, her words bringing him back to the present. TJ stared at the picture as he mulled over what she said. “You knew my father…”

         “Didn’t make the connection until you showed me the picture on the nightstand.”

         His eyes shot up to her as she shifted her hand from his shoulder to her necklace. Her eyes glistened as she seemed to stare off, tears slowly building up on her lashes, and gliding down her cheeks. His throat tightened at her obvious display of emotion.

         “Not sure how I missed it before.” Deni turned and met his gaze, a sad smile hinting at the corners of her mouth.

         Terry watched a few more tears fall as he searched her face. He wanted to ask so many questions, but his voice failed him.

         She tenderly touched his cheek with the palm of her hand, “joy and pain…all feelings I had never known until your father.” Her eyes closed and she rested her forehead against his, “How vacant my heart was. What a gift to be reminded of those feelings, of all the things he shared with me through time, through you.”

         Her voice wavered and he could feel the weight of her emotion. His hand clasped around hers as it rested on his face. “Deni…how?”

         “He was…” her voice shook and gave out and she cleared her throat a sob wracking through her body. She pulled back her head drooping. He watched her breathe, more tears falling. Deni searched for the proper word and then whispered, “my mentor.”

         Terry was struck by her, not by her words, not her familiarity with his father…it was at that moment that he realized the reason he felt like he knew her was that she was so much like his father. Her accent was thicker, but now he remembered the slight accent his father had, how he was cautious in the way he spoke. They were both patient and graceful.

҉

           “Owen I need you to meet Mira at 12th and J immediately,” the desperation in Stanley’s voice caused the three of them to turn from the computer.

         “What’s going on?”

         “No time for questions or explanations. Just go get Mira and whatever happens, get her in your vehicle and leave. Don’t let her do anything. Drag her kicking and screaming if you must.”

         “Understood.”

         Edison watched Owen rush out the door and glanced at Stanley, “What’s going on?”

         Stanley stared at the door, “I suppose I had another dream…”

           Owen sped through yellow lights, the dark night blurring passed. His thoughts were focused on his movements and the responding movements of the vehicle. His eyes observed everything that he could, taking in his surroundings, swerving through traffic, and only breaking when necessary. Traffic thinned out until he was the only car down the stretch of the street. Nearing the intersection in the distance he noticed two sets of headlights. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an SUV speed toward the second set of headlights. The collision sounded like an eruption; sparks flew, and tires screeched. He used his handbrake to drift to a sudden stop in front of Mira’s car. As he jumped out, he saw Mira getting out of her car her eyes met him before she turned and observed the collision. He knew what she was thinking, he was thinking it too, but he had his orders.

         Owen sprinted to her and wrapped his arms around her midsection and pulled her with him toward his vehicle.

         “Wh-Wh..what are you doing? Owen get off of me!” She sputtered and panted struggling to get away from him.

         He didn’t argue didn’t say a word, just proceeded to manhandle her, dodging her flailing hands that swung as she tried to free herself from him.

         “We need to go help them. What are you doing?”

         He shifted his weight to block her and struggled to open the passenger door without losing his hold on her. “Get in the car Mira!”

         “No…Owen…”

         “Darlin…I will fold you up and put you in myself if I have to. Get in that’s an order.”

         Seeing no way around Owen she conceded, and he slammed the door shut and got in, and peeled off.

         There was a deafening eruption, and a ball of fire could be seen in his rearview mirror, he saw Mira turn in her seat staring out the back window.

         Her heart was racing, and she held her breath, as tears prickled her eyes.

         Owen sped back to Stanley’s in silence understanding one thing: if he hadn’t been there and followed Stanley’s instructions Mira would most likely be severely injured or dead. He didn’t allow himself to feel the weight of it, not yet. Instead, he focused on the task of driving her safely home.

           Rachel watched Edison pace back and forth no longer thinking about the picture on the computer. Stanley sat quietly in his chair sipping on a hot cup of coffee. She, herself, felt restless but didn’t know what to do so she stood propped up by the kitchen counter staring at the front door. Adventures with Stanley never lacked excitement.

         The door opened and Mira came in ahead of Owen, her eyes red and wild. Edison halted pacing and stared at the two of them. She watched Mira glance at the three of them pausing briefly before looking around.

         “Where’s TJ?” her voice was frayed.

         “Out.” Stanley said, “Are you okay?”

         Mira was trembling and confused. She shook her head feeling on the verge of having a mental breakdown. Tears pooled in her eyes, and she weakly escaped their gazes and went to the guest room.

         Edison met Owen’s gaze he looked calm and collected. At first, she felt relief at seeing them both but now her feelings were complicated. The relief was replaced with a feeling of dread, a familiar weight on her chest, like an impending doom. She slowly stepped up to Owen wanting to ask what happened but at the same time wanting to be reassured that everything was all right.

         Owen closed his eyes as he felt Eddi’s arms wrap him in an embrace. Life was heavy, valuable, fragile. He fought to keep his thoughts from straying, to not put the burden of guilt on himself. “Whatever happens, happens.” He mumbled into her hair, reminding himself that he was only responsible for what he could control.

         “Are you quoting Cowboy Bebop right now?” Eddi pulled away to check to make sure Owen hadn’t lost his mind.

         He half smirked at her as he blinked back tears, “Spike’s right.” He shifted his attention to Stanley, “You want to fill me in oul fella?”

         Owen walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

         “Should I go check on Mira?” Rachel asked.

         Stanley smiled weakly at her, “I should…”

         She could see the hesitation written clearly on his face.

         “No more protecting her from this.”

         “From what?”

         They all looked up to find her standing at the entrance of the hallway.

         Owen handed her a beer as Stanley instructed her to sit at the table. When they were settled he told of his nightmare of her going to help the people in the accident and the explosion. Edison listened intently and noticed how Stanley seemed to be wrestling with something. She wondered if it was appropriate to ask and then decided she didn’t care, “What was different about this one than the others?”

         Stanley met her stare and his eyes seemed to smile affectionately at her, “I thought it was an ordinary nightmare…didn’t give it much thought until Mira called.”

         “What does she mean?” Mira asked still lost.

         “Your father didn’t guide me to this one, or at least I didn’t notice him…” Stanley’s eyes seemed to get distant.

         “Did your dreams stop when he…” Eddi paused.

         “What is she talking about? What are you talking about?” Mira asked.

         Stanley seemed to still be searching for something in his mind. And then he pushed his chair away from the table and wheeled to his room without a word.

         “So, are they like dream walkers or something?” Rachel asked trying to piece the puzzle together.    

         “They? What the hell are you all talking about?” Mira was frustrated.

         “Deni and your father…they both have showed up in dreams and then those dreams actually happen. We think they might be connected somehow.”

         “Yall are talking nonsense. Where’s TJ?” Mira stood up.

         Edison glanced at Owen and then sighed, “Mira…sit down and listen to the nonsense…I know it doesn’t make sense and it’s hard to believe, shit if I hadn’t lived it I wouldn’t believe it.”

         Mira shook her head, “Are you all on drugs?”

         “Did you not just hear Stanley say he dreamt what was going to happen? Terry dreamt that I was going to die in a fire. And then he fucking showed up and found me trapped in a fire. Yeah, it’s wild. But it really happened.”

         There was something like a storm raging in Mira’s head. She sat heavily back in the chair.

         “Maybe you should start from the beginning Cailín.” Owen suggested.

         Edison studied Mira realizing she was processing. Then she watched Mira press the heels of her palms to her eyes. She watched her struggle to breathe and begin to shudder. “Mira?” she reached over and squeezed her shoulder.

         Stanley came back and placed a worn journal in front of Mira. “Sweetie, take this…take your time…”

         She warily pulled her hands away, her eyes misty and bloodshot glanced at the journal and then at Stanley.

         “I know Sweetie…”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 12

          Her fingers gently tended to the wound on the back of his head. She cleaned and bandaged it as she hummed softly. The melody was soft and soothing and Terry listened with his eyes closed. When she finished her fingers softly traced his neck causing him to shiver and then she pulled away and walked to the kitchen area of the cabin.  She returned and handed him some water before sitting next to him.

         “Let me guess you have so many questions.” She smiled warmly at him.

         “But you’ll only answer the right questions.” Terry quipped in response with a smirk, “what are you a genie?”

         “Wrong question.” She shifted her gaze from his, “I am comforted by your presence. Everything for me is uncertain now, but you being here is…” Deni paused and her eyes sparkled as they met his again. “Reassuring.”

         Terry searched her eyes wondering what she meant.

         “Your father took care in everything he did, and I see now that he never left me alone. I’m not of your…” her voice trailed off, “I guess the best way to put everything is that there are timekeepers. When time is threatened, timekeepers are sent to protect it…”

         “My father? Timekeepers?”

         Deni’s answer was silence but there was a sad look in her eyes that reminded him of the look that she had in his dream. He shook his head not understanding, he was for sure dreaming or had entered an alternate reality. “How did the dream and the fire at Eddi’s…”

         “That wasn’t meant to happen. Whatever happened at the pawnshop…” she paused again and shifted, “Something happened that threw things off. Eddi’s timeline was jeopardized, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”

         Terry was lost but her eyes held his steady and sure. “Jeopardized?”

         “There are those who are trying to change the story, the timeline. And there are those that protect it…” Deni closed her mouth and dropped her gaze realizing that the feeling of doubt and uncertainty from before now weighed heavy on her. “Sometimes I don’t know the right questions…”

 ҉

 They drove to music that Edison tried to focus on instead of allowing her mind to eat her alive with possibilities. Owen had told her before they left that he needed her sharp, she remembered the worried look in his blue eyes and wondered if he was debating on leaving her behind.  

         It was still dark out and Owen focused on the road ahead of them. He allowed his mind to wander momentarily processing how things went down with Mira. She had looked completely derailed and then somehow pulled herself together and demanded to know where TJ was and what they were keeping from her. Stanley had kept his cool and told her, “one thing at a time”. He watched as she unraveled with her lack of control. The way her eyes almost looked terrified of the truth that the journal held, and how Stanley again pushed her to take it. She finally caved in when he said he would tell her everything once she did.

         There was a cloud of uncertainty hanging over them. This was his sort of thing but having Cailín with him changed the dynamic. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was no longer the girl he had protected, she could hold her own, but that didn’t change his desire to shield her. That couldn’t be his focus. They were going in as a team and had no clue what they were going to face, but he had to trust her to play her role.

         Taking a deep breath through his nostrils he slowly blew it out through his mouth and let it all go focusing on only what he could control. Whatever happens, happens. It wasn’t always easy to accept and was often the hardest battle he fought. He needed to be at his best, and one can’t be their best when they’re weighed down by the burden of things that they can’t control.  

         “I’m waking up at the start of the end of the world, but it’s feeling just like every other morning before. Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it’s gone.”

         Owen looked at Edison as she sang to the music and chuckled. Her head bopped to the beat.

         “Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?”

         Honestly, he loved her voice, spunk, and her passion. The way even a dark teenage brooding her would light up the room with smile and laughter when she sang and danced. How she became a free spirit, like a bird, maybe a bat or a raven was more fitting, that took flight. He couldn’t help but grin getting lost in her affectuous behavior and join in the song.

         “Say your goodbyes if you’ve got someone you can say goodbye to. Well, I believe the world is burning to the ground. Oh well, I guess we’re gonna find out. Let’s see how far we’ve come. Let’s see how far we’ve come.”

 ҉

           The journal weighed heavy in her hand. It took her a while to gain the courage to open it. Her vision was blurred by tears, and though she wasn’t positive what these pages held she had the slightest idea. There was a fear, a reservation that seemed to suffocate and blind her. She blinked and swallowed the lump in her throat. Mira sat at a crossroads and weighed the cost of each path she could take.

           “Mira open your eyes.” Her father’s voice was clear as if he stood next to her. There was no denying the feeling of his presence, even if she couldn’t see him. Days and weeks would go by without them seeing him. He said work kept him away. But he often visited her in her dreams. Those were the times she cherished.

         Until she began to hear the adults talk about her wild stories and suggest that she needed to see someone. Their hushed voices and concerned looks coupled with them telling her she needed to get her head out of the clouds; she began to believe she was crazy. Craving approval, she started to focus on schoolwork. As much as she enjoyed her dreams she distanced herself from them, attempting to control and shut them out completely.

         They didn’t see the flame in her eyes dim. Didn’t notice her smile fade. They were impressed with her improvement in grades and behavior. Their approval spurred her on. Finding comfort in books and helping others became her substitute, but it could never replace the imagination and inspiration she found in the time she spent with her father.

 ҉

           Terry woke from a deep sleep. He hadn’t realized how worn his body and mind were until he couldn’t keep his eyes open. It was dark outside and a small golden glow in the cabin came from a lantern on the table. He shifted and found Deni sitting there quietly staring at a piece of paper in her hand. Her beautiful auburn hair cascaded off her shoulder hiding her face. Terry found her presence calming despite still feeling confused by her answers.

         He wondered what Stanley meant about Deni being in trouble and that trouble being a part of him, his destiny. Part of him began to wonder if this was all a strange stress dream that he would soon wake up from. Terry got up and slowly walked over to Deni. She remained quiet unphased by his presence. His eyes glanced over her, and he wrestled with asking another question.

         Taking a deep breath and slowly blowing it out. “Deni…what kind of trouble are you in?”

         Her shoulders shifted back slightly, and she blew out a steady breath. His eyes wandered from her to the paper in her fingers, immediately recognizing his father’s handwriting.

         “What is that?”

         Her head tilted up and she looked at him a sad smile in her eyes. Her lips pursed together as she handed the piece of paper to him.

         TJ took it and sat down next to her shifting his gaze from hers to the paper.

Dearest Cadence,

         There was a part of me that hoped it wouldn’t come to this. Know I write this with a heavy hand and an even heavier heart. You are a bright star in a brilliant galaxy, your light shines a rhythm of hope, I am certain that whatever transpires that light inside of you will never cease to illuminate, your song will carry on.

         When my family became jeopardized it became apparent what must be done. I feared they might use you to get to me. When Owen and Edison arrive, they will be on top of you. I’m sure you’ve found the way to the bunker. The key to vanishing is there. I trust you’ll know what to do. May destiny guide you.

There is only one question that matters.

         With Love Janus

           Time is a precious thing, a gift. Not something to be controlled or altered, but to be appreciated and enjoyed.

           His eyes scanned the paper multiple times. More questions, fewer answers. TJ reread it again hoping that somehow an answer would appear. The handwriting, the words almost seemed tangible in the way he could hear his father’s voice and sense his presence.

         “Cadence?”

         “That’s my name…”

         He stared at the page a moment longer before looking at her. Deni stared at the table, her fingers tapping lightly against it, it appeared as though she was playing a song on an invisible piano. Her jasper eyes seemed distant, deep in thought.

         “Janus?”

         “Your father.”

         He watched her fingers dance slightly on the table.

         “Who are ‘they’?”

         She didn’t respond but continued to play the silent song.

         “Owen and Edison…my father didn’t know them…what is he saying what does he mean?”

         “They’ll be here soon.”

         His head was spinning now with more questions.

         “How?” his voice croaked. He took a deep breath and held it in, his vision blurring slightly. TJ closed his eyes and tried to focus. “How Cadence?”

         Her silence was beginning to agitate him, and he placed his hands on top of hers stopping her from whatever she was doing, trying to get her attention. When he looked into her eyes it seemed like she was on another planet. Unaware of his presence. Her fingers twitched under his hands. “Deni?”

         Her eyes blinked her gaze shifted and stared at their hands.

         “Bunker?”

         “Here.”

         “What’s the right question?”

         “That is the question…” she swallowed hard and pulled her hands from his. “Terrence…I don’t know anymore…”

         “What do you mean?”

         “You ask a lot of questions.”

         “Isn’t that how we figure things out?”

         She shrugged, her eyes sad, “I think your father’s point was observation over questions…To be present and to observe.”

         TJ ground his teeth and shifted his weight forward, “…okay…where do we start?”

         “The fireplace.” She smiled softly at him, “you know I think if I would have been more observant when I first met you…” her voice trailed off, “I took his lessons for granted.”

         He held her gaze, her jasper eyes glistened with moisture, they held a depth of emotion he hadn’t noticed before. There was pain and joy there, life.

         “The fireplace?”

         She nodded and he peeled his gaze from hers and turned towards the fireplace. He stared at it a moment before he got up and moved closer. It was beautiful stonework. Greystones of different sizes and shapes, waves of veins painted through them. He examined each stone cautiously. Minutes passed before he stepped back and turned towards her. “There are two stones that are identical.”

         “Good eye.”

         Terrence stared at her as though he was trying to solve a puzzle. She was beautiful, mesmerizing. There seemed to be a glow about her, a frequency dancing around her. An aura was how others might describe it, it was palpable. He stepped towards her as if to step into her orbit, to feel her pull.  This feeling was foreign yet familiar, intoxicating. He had been so distracted he had failed to see her, really see her. There was a heaviness and a levity about her. She was a beautiful enigma and a contradiction to everything he knew. There wasn’t an answer that could explain the way her presence affected him.

         Without thinking his fingers twirled a few strands of her hair, his eyes noticing the way the color seemed to vibrate. He softly touched her cheek turning his gaze to her face. Remembering the way her tear sparkled, almost like it held a life of its own. His eyes stared into the depths of hers. The jasper planets, stars, beautiful and otherworldly. They seemed to radiate light, a song, and he remembered the way she danced in his dream. He pulled closer to her lost in wonderment.

         “Terr…”

         Her voice sounded like a raindrop that had a gentle rippling, echo effect. He sensed it reverberate through him, as though it was distant and yet inside of him. His thumb moved to her lip as though he was trying to capture the sound of her song.

         “What are you doing?”

         Her words caused him to blink, he pulled away his gaze dropping from her lips, landing on the necklace. He paused briefly before taking it between his pointer finger and thumb. “I know this…treasure.”

 ҉

 Dawn greyed the sky as they parked next to a brown Bronco. They had driven a few miles off the highway and through some backroads to get to this trailhead. The parking lot was small and covered in run-down dark gravel that matched the dark shadows from the foliage that surrounded it. Owen got out and grabbed some of the gear from the bed of the truck before walking up to the old ford.

“Hey, Rico.”

Rico had a map spread out on his hood. He turned off his headlamp and hugged Owen. “Buddy-O! Good day for fishing.”

“This is Eddi.” Owen gestured to her as she stepped up alongside him.

“The famous Eddi. Heard a lot about you.”

Edison shook his hand and smiled slightly. “I don’t know about famous.” The early morning air was crisp and chilled, so she pulled a dark green hoody on and then a black beanie down over her ears.

“Are you kidding? I’ve read all your comic books…well most of them…if not all of them.” He turned to Owen, “You haven’t been holding out on me have you?”

She turned her attention to Owen who had turned a slight shade of red, “What of course not…”

“My comics?”

Owen cleared his throat and glanced between the two of them, “Pup sent a couple to boot camp and overseas and Rico’s been hooked so I’ve let him borrow a few copies you gave me.”

Eddi didn’t know what to say, as she shoved her fists into her sweatshirt pocket and rolled her shoulders. She felt exposed in a way. The ones that she had posted, or published through the school weren’t as personal. There was a part of her that was mad, or maybe more embarrassed, and another part that was surprised.

“Come on Eddi they are good and should be shared. Besides, it’s nice to have someone to nerd out with over them.”

“Seriously, I’ve read The Night Raven like five times at least. Been begging O to get you to write a sequel. The art, the story, the antihero…” Rico paused, “I’m fangirling, aren’t I?”

Eddi shook her head blowing out an exasperated breath, “let’s shelf it for another time. What do you have for us?”

“Right…” Rico directed them to the map as he turned his headlamp back on. He pointed at a river dragging his finger down it. “Follow the river south to this watering hole. Caught a couple of shad down there a few years back.” He paused and studied the map, “I’d say where you are looking is probably more north. Those trees are more populated and less disturbed, looks like similar terrain to the pictures.” He trailed his finger up the river and then towards the west. “Start in here and work your way up and out. Locals tend to stay south and avoid that area, some strange stories about some private property up there and a mystical meadow.”

“What kind of stories?” Eddi asked.

Rico shrugged. “Local legend and lore. I come here to get away from people and enjoy nature. Not much for fairytales and gossip.” He turned his attention to Owen, “You sure you don’t want me to come along?”

“Yeah…thanks for your help.” He patted Rico on the back and shouldered a backpack. “I’ll give you a call at some point.”

They parted ways. Rico hiked south and Owen and Eddi trekked north into the wooded area. For a while, they walked in silence both scanning the surroundings and breathing in the fresh air.

“I can’t believe you shared my comics.”

“Scott started it. Rico just caught me reading them and then stole one to read.” Owen eyed the area before pausing and glancing at Eddi, “You really upset about it?”

“No…I don’t know…didn’t know you really read them.”

He shrugged and turned pressing onward. “I enjoy them. They’re really good. It was nice having a piece of home when I was away. Something of yours to read to keep me company.”

Eddi followed Owen glancing around as his words sunk in, something about the way he said it made her feel warm, understood, touched.

They wound through tall trees, trunks thick enough to hide behind. Owen scanned the dirt-covered ground looking for any disturbance. Anticipation began to build nervous energy; he paused glanced around and turned toward Edison. “You good?”

She nodded.

“Stay alert, observant, and be ready for anything.” He handed her a rifle, “remember what I taught you hunting?”

“I got it, Owen.”

He sighed, “I know you do.” He held her gaze a moment longer wanting to say more but knowing it wasn’t the time, then he nodded and continued on.

 Sunlight lit the morning sky turning it from grey to brilliant yellows and blues. There was a breeze that danced about them as they crouched in the clearing, the weeds swayed about them, the scent of nature twirling through the air. Terrence dug with his knife into the vaguely familiar spot, hoping he had remembered correctly where he had once dug it up as a child.

         Deni watched his hands work and then looked him over. How she missed so much being focused on her task. The signs, clues, and the feeling of home she had only felt once before in the presence of his father. For the first time in a long time, she felt this ache at her core. The same ache she buried away before. In her mind, it was a weakness and a distraction. It wasn’t proper. Her throat tightened as she wrestled with the feeling, part of her wanted to explore it the other wanted to dispose of it.

         Terrence paused and wiped the sweat from his brow glancing from the hole to Deni. She held his gaze realizing that she didn’t want to escape the feeling any longer. It was terrifying but also made her feel more alive.

         “This is a moment I want to hold on to a little bit longer.”

         The right corner of his mouth lifted slightly as he studied her. “Sure…” He glanced at the treasure in the hole and left it there turning his attention back to her, as he did, he found her shifting closer.

         Cadence leaned against him resting her head in the crook of his shoulder and closing her eyes. Terrence was caught off guard momentarily before he adjusted wrapping an arm around her. He felt her breathe, his own heart pounding deeply.

         Every cell in her body felt the warmth that radiated off of him and welcomed it. There was a tenderness in the way he held her against him. She could hear his heart beating a rhythm, his breathing a slight sweet melody to her ears.

           Paused, listened, then pointed with two fingers forward. Eddi nodded at Owen but stood still noticing a feeling of static electricity in the air. There was something pulling her, almost like gravity and she glanced at the ground and shifted her toes slightly to the right. Then glanced at Owen tilting her head slightly suggesting he follow her. He nodded his lips pressed tightly together, his eyes constantly scanning. She glanced around their surroundings wondering what he was observing.

         He followed her keeping tabs on their environment and noting the feeling of a presence. His ears seemed to perk at sounds trying to pick foreign sounds from their natural habitat. Eddi trudged on cautiously. She stopped at a tree peeking slightly around and noticing a clearing. Owen peeked over her shoulder, placing a hand on it to cause her to wait.

           Cadence pulled away suddenly and grabbed the matching pendent from the hole, at the same time pushing Terrence behind her.

         There was a sudden deafening sound, that registered as gunfire behind him, he spun around and saw Owen and Eddi stepping into the clearing. Owen signaled for them to get behind them as Eddi fired another couple of rounds into the tree line on the other side of the clearing.  Terrence grabbed Cadence by the shirt and pulled her with him, scrambling for cover. What the hell was happening? Dirt sprayed up at their feet a blast of air and weird electric energy caused the hair on his arms and neck to stand on end. His heart was racing but all he could think about was getting Cadence to safety. He pushed her in front of him as his feet worked against the loose dirt. Heat on his back caused him to duck and dodge to the left shoving Deni forward. Owen stepped in between them and the threat.

         “You know the first rule of combat? Shoot them before they shoot you.” Eddi smirked at them. “Fancy meeting you here.” She swiftly led them back through the trees.

         “Fuck I haven’t seen anything like that before. Hurry the trucks a few miles that way.” Owen ordered.

         “No! this way. To the bunker.” Deni grabbed Eddi’s hand who was leading them off to the right and took the lead to the left rushing gracefully forward, dodging through trees.

         “Bunker?” Eddi didn’t argue but followed quickly, glancing back at Owen bringing up the rear. He noticed the buzzing sound and saw trees vanish behind them. He didn’t say anything but quickly pushed Terrence forward feeling like they couldn’t move fast enough.

         Terrence wasn’t sure how they got back to the cabin so quickly but the four of them pushed through the door and Owen quickly went to secure it.

         “Not worth it. Terry fireplace.” Deni’s eyes were ablaze. He looked from her to the fireplace and watched as she went to one of the identical stones on the right side without asking he quickly went to the one on the left and followed her lead pressing on to it. It became warm and felt like it formed to his touch before the mouth of the fireplace shifted revealing a passageway.

҉

           “Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light, but if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity…”

         That’s how Mira faced death. It seemed that instead of fearing or hiding from it she chose to spearhead it. She found herself emersed in it. There was something cathartic about surrounding herself with it. Maybe it was her own way of facing it or hiding from it. She thought this was her way of accepting it as a part of life, but if she was completely honest it was her way of distracting herself from the deaths that stung the most, of the fear of death that lingered close to those she loved, to herself. Scotty’s death was something she never allowed herself to process. Her brother had been within feet of death. The thought of losing him drove her deeper into her work looking for shifts to cover at the ER after working at the clinic.

         “Open your eyes, Mira.”

         How long had her eyes been closed? She stared at the worn journal opened in her hands. It was a hard realization to accept. Even harder to open her eyes now. She knew what she had to do. Her gaze shifted to the small tattoo on her left wrist the symbol her dad had drawn in dreams and told her to never forget. On her right wrist was a tattoo of a dreamcatcher.

         Dreaming wasn’t the problem, it was living.

         Death wasn’t to be feared, it was not living.

         Quickly she ran to the closet and rifled through a box pulling out her old dream journal. Her hands shook as she took it to Stanley.

         “Where’s the watch?” she asked flipping to the back of the journal and handing it to him.

         “There’s my girl.”

         “They can’t do it without me.”

         “Do what?” Rachel asked looking up from the computer.

         Stanley pulled the journal from her hands and peeled the chip out of her journal, “And to think you had it all this time.”

         “I didn’t. He put it there in one of my dreams and told me to ask you for a watch.”

         There was a sad smile in his eyes, “when the time comes.” Stanley fidgeted with the watch and then stared at it for a moment as he watched it light up and adjust. He blew out a harsh breath and handed it to her. “Looks like it’s that time.”

         Mira handed him the other journal and spoke softly, “you know what to do?”

         “I have my orders.” He squeezed her hand, “not that I really know what they mean, but I’ve learned not to ask. Rachel has been quite helpful with the tech stuff. Amazing what a little hacking and tweaking can do.”

         She sighed as she slowly put the watch on, “funny how time works.”

         Rachel’s eyes widened as she watched Mira disappear into thin air. “Wha…where…”

[kelsywrites]

Chapter 13

           “Where are we going?”

         Scotty grinned at Eddi, “Suspense!” He gave her jazz fingers.

         “I still think we should have stayed in and watched scary movies. It’s Friday the 13th people are always weird, but now they have an excuse to be extra trippy.”

         “Don’t worry it’ll just be us…and maybe some spooky spirits.” He was still grinning with childlike excitement.  

         “Spooky spirits?” Terry glanced at the two of them before looking up at the moon. “Scotty, what are you tripping on and why didn’t you share?”

         “Broski, this is best done with a sober mind. That way we know the spirits are real and not something made up or manufactured.”

         “He had too many brownies before we met up with you.” Eddi kicked at a rock as they crossed through a field. Streetlights faded in the distance, the moon lighting their way.

         “What’s she put in those anyways?”

         “It’s called a secret recipe for a reason Terry.” Scotty stepped up to a tall chain link fence and launched his skateboard over before pulling himself up onto it. “Come on scaredy cats. Time to face our demons.”

         Terry shook his head and followed him and Eddi over the fence ignoring the no-trespassing sign.

         They made their way through the field, the warehouse in the distance slowly growing into a menacing fortress. Scotty rattled on about the haunted history of the place. As they got closer the white radiance of the moon seemed to get swallowed by the dark shadows of the old building.

         “Looks like a place for bad deals and murders.” Eddi shifted her skateboard as she peeked through a broken window.

         “If these walls could talk.” Scotty set his stuff down and headed to a ladder 15 yards off to the right.

         Terry glanced at it and noticed a couple of the rungs were missing. “That looks like a death trap.”

         That didn’t stop Scott he was already at the top Eddi following behind. “Come on TJ you gotta see this.”

         “I can see you fall to your death just fine from down here.”

         “Less chance of brain matter splattering on you from up here.”

         “Eww, Scotty do you have to talk like that?” Eddi’s eyes scanned the expanse, lights from the distant city glowing orange on the horizon off to the left, to the right dark shadows cast by a grove of trees. She could hear echoes of dogs barking and a train off in the distance.

         Terry made it to the top and sat on the ledge, not wanting to chance walking over the rusted and rotting iron grate. His eyes stared at the space between them and the ground before looking around. You could see the length of the warehouse and the scattered buildings in the yard. Gaping holes in parts of the roof, dark leaves growing up the sides of some buildings, rubble at other parts. Broken pavement where road and a parking lot used to be, spotted now with swampy puddles. Scotty was right this place did have a haunting yet captivating feel to it.

         They sat quietly in their own thoughts for a while before Scotty broke the silence, “feel like if you sit here long enough you’re almost transported back to it all. Everything that happened here, everyone that worked or walked in this yard…it looks like it’s lost in time but it’s still here in the shadows, the silence…it echoes through time.”

         “You’re so weird.” Eddi smirked her eyes smiling at him under the silver shimmer of the moon light, “What are we really doing here? This seems like a place where we’d sneak off to get high and drunk and do stupid shit.”

         “Stupid shit.” Scotty repeated softly almost a sudden change of mood before he smiled back at her and responded, “Life’s too short to miss out on shit like this. And you don’t have to be high to do stupid shit.”        

         Terry glanced from Scotty to Eddi wondering if she had noticed the tone in Scotty’s voice. Was he worrying about Owen? He hadn’t mentioned his brother in a few days. The thought of Owen getting severely injured or dying sauntered through his mind. His gaze shifted back to Scotty as he wondered what that would do to his best friend before he forced it out and shifted his gaze to the stars. He felt his throat tighten as he remembered staring at the stars with his dad. For a moment he felt the air get trapped in his lungs as he wrestled with the emotions warring within him. It must have been the thought of Scotty losing Owen that opened him to being vulnerable to these memories and feelings.

         “Want one?”

         Terry glanced at Eddi handing him a black and mild. Normally, he’d turn it down, but now he was thankful for the distraction. He took it and lit it. The orange glow at the tip had a subtle contrast against the black backdrop and he focused on it as he inhaled and slowly exhaled.

         “Where’d your mind go off to?” Eddi asked blowing smoke out as she studied Terry’s face.

         He shook his head in response.

         They sat quietly for a moment. “Can you hear the echoes?” Scotty broke the silence again, “Laughter and arguments. One man ribbing another maybe cutting too deep with his jabs. Another arguing with the foreman. The sweet voice of a secretary, or a wife dropping off lunch.”

         “Fuck, Scotty you’re so weird.” Eddi shifted her weight to get more comfortable as she glanced down at the yard, she couldn’t help but imagine everything he was describing.

         “What?” he asked in response glancing at the two of them, “I like to think that they still live on in the echoes of time.”

         “You keep saying echo. I don’t think you know what that word means.”

         “Sure, I do. And you know what I’m talking about.” His gaze shifted from Eddi to Terrence, “Terry just heard an echo of his father.”

         Fear gripped TJ as his eyes met Scotty’s. Was he that obvious? Did they have to go there?

         “What did you hear man?”

         Terry took another puff as he shook his head.

         “Come on man. You can’t keep shutting him out, shutting us out. It’s like you’re still choosing your vices over your true friends when you do that. Over what really matters, what really counts.” Scotty glanced back over at the warehouse and studied it for a moment, “I heard my gramps talk about using words instead of fists, the importance of laughter and honesty and hard work. What did you hear Terry? Don’t let the echo die with you.”

         “Scott if you say echo one more time…”

         “What Eddi you’ll show me what it really means?” Scotty was smiling big at her.

         Terry’s gaze shifted from them to his feet dangling over the edge. He chewed on his lip mulling over the idea that it would stop with him if he didn’t say something. Clearing his throat he felt them both pause with their bickering and teasing and look at him. “He used to talk about how stars’ lights still shine on for years after they burn out, said some shit about how they each have a story or song or something.”

         Eddi was positive this was the first time she really heard Terry talk about his father. It was strange and yet it was nice that he was opening up, inviting them in. He always seemed like he was too good for them, but now she could see that he was just always wrestling with something on the inside. She watched him blow out a shaky breath before taking another hit of the black and mild and then flicking it to the ground.

         Silence followed his sentiment and he felt oddly lighter but also terribly exposed. He swallowed hard and stood to his feet. Without a word he carefully climbed back down the ladder.

         Scotty got up and followed and then Eddi. They began to explore the abandoned warehouse in silence. In one room they found an old desk, a broken rotary phone, and some waterlogged files. Edison opened a drawer and found some pictures taken around the yard capturing people and machinery. She could almost imagine them talking, the sounds of the machinery, her mind wandered over their life stories as she studied the pictures and then glanced at Scotty. Maybe he wasn’t so crazy. She smiled softly at him shaking her head, “you’re weirdness is rubbing off.”

         He laughed at her, “Come on I wanna show you something.”

         They followed him with their skateboards and found a big open area with a few makeshift ramps and a burn pile.

         “How’d you find this place?” Eddi asked in wonder as she flashed her light around.

         “I was talking to one of those gypsy kids passing through town and he mentioned coming here.”

         “Scotty this is badass!”

         Terry and Scott worked on getting a fire going while Eddi put some music on. They skated and joked for what felt like hours.

         Scott skidded to a stop in front of the fire. He watched the flames lick the pile of wood, sticks, and random trash they had thrown in. Colors of green, blue, yellow, and orange danced about releasing a grey smoke that swayed its way above them finding an escape through a hole in the ceiling. He sat down on his skateboard his gaze not leaving the fire.

         Terry skated to a stop and watched Scott for a moment before glancing over at Eddi who was switching up the music. Landslide by Fleetwood Mac came on and he watched her go sit next to Scotty and pull out another black and mild.

         “What’s eating at your pretty mind?” He heard Eddi ask Scott and then heard Scott chuckle. Terrence picked up his skateboard and walked over and sat down on the opposite side of Scotty.

         “You worrying about Owen?”

         Scotty sighed. “No…no more than ordinarily. Been thinking about death and life a lot lately. Guess it’s all the talk about having a 4 or 5 or 10-year plan at school and what we are going to do when we graduate and all that shit.”

         Eddi’s brow scrunched together as she laughed, “What…that’s what makes you think about death?”

         “Yeah, I mean why not? It’s not like we know when it’s going to happen. And all these teachers asking me what I want to do when I graduate when I can’t even decide what I want for lunch. Then I just feel like an idiot in the headlights.” Scotty took the black and mild from her mouth and took a hit still staring at the fire. “I can’t forward think. Or whatever they call it. Every time I try, I start thinking about death and wondering when I’m going to die or you and Terry or my mom and dad, and then I’m like if I knew when…that would change my plans.”

         “You’re not supposed to live like that.”

         “No duh dummy.”

         Terrence heard the uncharacteristic agitation in Scott’s voice and watched him hand the black and mild back to her before shifting his gaze back to the fire. “I wasn’t thinking like that until they started asking me those stupid questions. Then all I could think about was what I wanted to do before I die.”

         “What do you want to do before you die?” Terry asked.

         Scotty glanced at the two of them and then shrugged with a sad smile. “I don’t want to go to college. I want to spend as much time with you guys as I can. I want to look up at the stars and hear them sing or whatever your dad was talking about. I want to experience life so much that when I die, I go out with a bang that echoes so loudly through the world, that says something like life matters, my life mattered. I just feel like school has been such a waste and all this planning and talk of plans…all the plans they suggest seem like a waste. Shit, I know some people go on and do some shit that’s epic. Like Mira, or Owen…” he paused and took a heavy breath shaking his head, “It’s not the planning. That’s just a lame excuse. I mean sure I don’t have a plan and don’t want or need one. I’m good at figuring stuff out on the fly, finding my groove.” He got silent.

         Eddi stared at him wondering what he was getting at and caught off guard by the heaviness that seemed to come out of nowhere.

         “What is it?” Terry probed.

         Scotty stared into Terry’s eyes for a long moment, “You think we’re like stars? Sometimes I get this weird feeling that I had all this light and life but it’s fading out. Then I wonder if it’s cause I’m doing something wrong, or not doing something I should be doing.”

         “Are you sure you didn’t smoke something before coming here?”

         Scotty laughed but it sounded sad, and he shook his head, “Fuck…maybe I should have.”

         “Scott, what’s going on?” Eddi asked and Terry could hear the full weight of her concern.

         “This is my demon. And I came here to fight it.” He mumbled staring back at the fire. Scotty started laughing, it became uncontrollable, and tears began to stream down his face.

         “Shit what the fuck is wrong with you?” Eddi asked swatting at him. His laughter was eerie but contagious.

         “Fuck if I know.” He responded between his laughter and rubbed his face. “I don’t know maybe I just need to think differently. Maybe I just need to think like a star. What would my song or story or whatever be?” he let his laughter die down and swallowed glancing at Terry, “What would yours be? What was your dad’s?”

         Terry’s gaze turned to the fire. The warmth of it caused his eyes to burn…or were those tears?

         “Wait I know Eddi’s!” Scotty exclaimed and then jumped up and started dancing and singing, “Cheri Cheri lady going through a motion love is where you find it listen to your heart.”

         “No! No!” Eddi jumped up and tackled Scotty, “Fuck you!”

         Scotty was laughing uncontrollably again.

         “I don’t get it.” Terry watched as Eddi struggled to pin the squirming Scotty.

         “Tell him Cheri.”

         “Stop it! Drop it!”

         “Wait, is your name Cheri?” Terry started laughing, “Cheri is the perfect family name.”

         “I see you brought me here so I could murder and burn you both.” Eddi glared from Scotty to Terry.

         “What’s wrong with Cheri?” TJ asked trying to fight back the laughter as he pictured her as a Cheri.

         She turned her gaze like daggers to Scotty.

         He stared back, his gaze soft, “He’s part of the pact Eddi. We came here to fight our demons.”

         “Fuck you, Scott. You may have come here to fight a demon. But I didn’t.”

         His eyes held hers, as she held him pinned. “Please Eddi…” he swallowed hard.

         “What’s your deal O’Malley?”

         “My deal? I care about you. I worry about you.”

         She shook her head disgusted. “I can take care of myself.”

         Scotty struggled to get up from under her. Then stared into her eyes their noses inches apart. “Sure, you can. I’m not saying you can’t. I’m saying I don’t want you to be alone.”

         Eddi scoffed.

         He got to his feet and stepped closer to the fire. After a moment he spoke, his voice gruff, “Mine would be Jumper by Third Eye Blind.”

         The two of them stared at the back of his head stunned in silence.

         “I’ve always had this darkness, this voice in my head. Death…lingering there. Sometimes feel captive to it. It’s not really a fear. But something that possesses me, that trips me up from feeling alive. I found fighting or doing shit that taunted death made me feel most alive, like the closer I was to death the more alive I was. Cover it up by calling myself an adrenalin junkie. Fight the darkness back with laughter, making others laugh.” He snickered. “Sometimes I think if people really knew how dark my mind was, they wouldn’t laugh at my jokes. Owen’s the only one I trusted with the darkest parts of me, he didn’t treat me different. Still laughed at my jokes and fought with me without constantly checking on my mental status or acting like I was a fragile basket case.”

         They stared at him paralyzed in an uncomfortable quiet. He let that sink in and then turned and studied them cautiously. “But you’re my pack so you should know. I always feel like death is just one or two steps behind me. And maybe as a kid I was afraid of it. Timid. But then I began to hate myself for it.” He smiled sadly. “It’s my demon. I’m not afraid of it anymore. Haven’t been for a while, fight it almost daily. The thing that scares me now is what happens to those I leave behind.”

         “Are you thinking…” Eddi’s voice was a hesitant whisper.

         Scotty chuckled, softly, almost to himself, “Suicidal? Me? No…” He met her gaze and held it steady, “Used to be…maybe…got exhausted at times. But I’m a fighter. Kind of gotten addicted to fighting it.” He shifted his weight glancing between the two of them, “you two knuckleheads keep me grounded. Owen is my punching bag and sounding board, but he can’t always be there so as much as I don’t like sharing my darkness…just want to be the weird kid that is a bright spot in your life…but we are family…dark parts and light spots. I need you to laugh at my jokes even when they’re dark, especially when I’m in the darkness.”

         He sat back down sighing. “I’m so familiar with darkness I can see it in you guys and I want to know you have each other as much as you have me. I want to know we’re not alone. You’re not alone. Eddi it bothers me how you act like Terry’s not here sometimes. I know you don’t like people, but we made a pact, and Terry cares about you just as much as I do.” His eyes turned from the ground back to hers. “When you were in the hospital you told me not to tell him, just say you were sick or whatever. Asked me to lie. So, I did… and you know what Terry did? He made you soup and asked me to go with him to drop it off.” He paused and glanced at Terry, “And you fool. You can give up drinking and smoking and all your vices but as long as you allow yourself to be locked up in your mind, you’re going to be alone and look like a pretentious bastard, like you don’t need anyone when you do…otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”

         The uncomfortable weight that he just put on them caused them to avert their gazes back to the fire. They watched the tinder burning. Scotty was right and they knew it. Why was it so scary to let others in? How could they know him so well yet be completely blind to his darkness, was it because they were so consumed by their own?

         Terry shifted his gaze to Eddi thinking about all that had transpired, “Why do you go by Edison?”

         She swallowed staring hard at the fire before meeting his gaze. It was the first time she allowed herself to see the concern in his. “Cheri…Brings back bad memories.”

         He nodded. “I don’t like being called Terrence. Don’t want to think about how people leave.”

         Scotty moved his skateboard and laid back on the cement staring up at the decaying ceiling. “He didn’t leave you.”

         “He’s gone.”

         They sat quietly lost in their own thoughts, but somehow bonded on another level. They weren’t alone…or didn’t have to be.

         “What if all our stars sang the same song?” Scott mumbled in a hopeful resonance.

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 14

          “This is a good spot.” Mira smiled and settled down on a towel. Terry sat next to her and Eddi unfolded a camping chair and sat behind them.

          “I can’t remember the last time I did this.” Eddi smiled at Mira as she reached for a beverage out of the cooler.

          Terry thought about the time they lit fireworks at Scotty’s house with his family. They ate brownies and his mom played Irish music while his dad told jokes and sipped on whiskey. He thought about how Owen was off doing military stuff. It was obvious his family was feeling proud and even more patriotic than usual.

          This time though it was the three of them sitting with random strangers waiting for a big firework show. He was quiet and pensive. There was a subtle dull ache inside of him that he attributed to missing Scotty and the old times. It was slowly growing, robbing him of enjoying the moment with his sister and best friend. He could hear them talking in the background of the thoughts and emotions that seemed to grow louder as they warred within him. Normally, he’d shut them out with a beer and a couple of shots, that’s how he had in the past learned to be present. But now he couldn’t ignore what was happening inside of himself and part of him wondered if he wasn’t supposed to.

          He felt Eddi kick him and glanced over his shoulder at her. She mouthed ‘you good?’ and he nodded with a closed-lip smile to encourage her. Eddi wasn’t fully convinced but squeezed his shoulder and continued on conversating with Mira.

          When the fireworks finally started, they both fell silent. Eddi watched the bursting firelights in the sky thinking about the past few months, and years, and appreciating that she was here in this moment. Mira glanced between the fireworks and the crowd that had gathered. She watched some children staring in awe, others still running around playing games of tag, and some of the little ones hiding in their parent’s arms taking careful peaks of the show.

          “Sorry, I’m late.” Owen sat down on the cooler next to Eddi. She and Mira greeted him.

          Terry stared at the bursting colors in the sky. They seemed to be sparking something in his memory. The dull ache became more significant, almost suffocating. A red firework exploded and lit up the sky, he felt a sudden pull and tear on the inside, revealing this empty hallow feeling…were those the right words for it? Why was he feeling all alone and empty? The sounds of the explosions in the sky seemed to echo through him and the next firework caused something to trigger a bright light in his mind suddenly blinding him from the inside out. It felt as though his heart had stopped, silence swallowing him, and then a soft echo of a voice. Had his heart stopped? Was he breathing? He couldn’t see. Everything went from bright white to complete darkness. And then he felt the deep pounding of his heart echoing through him. Every time it thudded in his chest, he felt this numbing pain. He blinked and saw the next firework and then felt static spark through his brain like his synapses were responding to fires or misfires…something was missing.

          “Hey Ter, you good?”

          He didn’t feel Owen’s hand on his shoulder and barely heard his voice. His head was in his hands. His eyes shut tight, but he was still seeing fireworks, a buzzing sound in his ears drowning out everything else. He no longer heard the thud of his heart but felt it pulsing through his body like a bass drum, someone kicking his pulse. It was thick…thick with emotion, and then empty and then boom and then empty.

          The next thing he knew he was laying on the cold grass, his mind seeing dark green prickly, his eyes twitching and then opening and staring up at a dark sky speckled with soft white stars. He blinked again and found Owen’s blurred face staring down at him. Owen’s mouth was moving but no sound was coming. And then again, he was swallowed by darkness. Or was it him?

          “The doc said it was a panic attack.” Mira stood staring through Owen and Eddi, “They are letting him rest right now.”

           “I’ll call Stanley and let him know what’s going on.” Eddi responded and gave Mira a reassuring nod.

          Owen guided Mira to a seat in the waiting area, “How are you doing?”

          She shrugged and glanced at him, “to be honest I feel like I let him down…”

          He remained quiet.

          After a few beats she continued, “He’s been off. I mean…Things have been good between us. We’ve been spending more time together, so I guess him acting a little off…I just ignored it because I didn’t want to push him away…”

          “Can’t blame yourself for him being in his head like he does…”

          Mira shook her head, “No but I’ve been feeling off too…”

          “How so?”

          “I don’t know…chalked it up to depression, hormones or something of the sort…been just trying to enjoy time with yall…” she met his gaze again and gave him a weak smile, “I used to burry myself in work, and recently realized how I’d been missing out…maybe it was something Stanley told me.” She sighed. “I think I blame myself for him always being in his head…”

          Owen rested his arm along the back of her chair as he leaned back in the chair next to hers. “You know he is relearning himself and his emotions, I know he’s been clean for some time, but still…emotions aren’t something you just become friends with right off the bat.”

          “Don’t start with sports analogies…”

          He chuckled, “I wasn’t gonna. Just trying to encourage you. It’s a process.” Owen paused and then continued his voice becoming husky, “Sometimes we want to figure ourselves out without burdening others…Scotty was good at seeing through that shit and inviting it out in the open…I’ve tried to be there for Eddi and Terry but I’m not Scotty and you’re not Stanley or me…you being present these last few months…that’s been something to him…to all of us…don’t blame yourself just continue being there.”

          “You okay?” Mira asked as they exited the hospital and walked through the parking lot.

          “Yeah…I’m sorry Mira.”

          She shook her head, “Don’t Terry…”

          He paused from reaching for the passenger door and glanced at his sister noting the emotion lining her voice. “I don’t want you worrying about me…”

          “You don’t have a choice in that matter.” She forced a smile and sniffled as she opened his door. “Just know I’m here for you.”

          “I do…”

          They drove in silence most of the way back to Stanley’s.

          “I know the doc said you were fine but I’d like for you to take it easy and rest at Stanley’s for a day or two…”

          “I’m fine Mira…I promise…I honestly don’t know what happened.”

          “Yeah…well…maybe that’s the problem.”

          Terry sighed.

          “Am I asking too much?”

          “No…I just…”

          “Tell me what happened then…”

          “I don’t know…”

          “What do you know…”

          “I just forgot how to breathe…” Terry said it as a joke, but Mira didn’t even smile. He shifted his gaze to his hands and thought for a moment. “I don’t know been feeling off, like somethings not right, missing, I don’t know. The past few months I almost feel like I’ve been in an alternate reality or dream state….and then last night…I don’t know it felt like the fireworks triggered an immensely real feeling…” Terry swallowed hard still feeling the remnants of it. “It was like grief, guilt, loss…it was heavy it was real physical pain…but in an emotional state…and I just forgot to breathe through it…”

          She remembered what Owen said and nodded. “We’re here for you, okay?”

҉

          “TJ come look. What do you see?”

          He stepped next to his father and watched his hand motion between two trees. His initial childlike response was “trees” but he knew his dad was pointing out something deeper. Not wanting to be wrong he glanced up at his father, who met his gaze and nodded as he crouched next to him.

          “Tell me what you see.”

          Terry studied the trees quietly breathing and thinking. “One tree is bigger…has more branches and leaves…that one,” he pointed to the one on the right, is skinnier…less leaves…” he snickered, “looks naked.”

          His dad chuckled. “Yes…it does.” Then he rested his hand on his shoulder, “Why do you think that is?”

          TJ shrugged and glanced between the trees. His father motioned between them again. “Look where they are… Do you see that one is surrounded by rocks, and that one isn’t?”

          Nodding he glanced between the two.

          “Trees not only grow tall, but grow deep. They have roots that grow down. The healthier the soil is, the healthier the roots and therefore the tree.”

          Terry looked up at his father sensing another one of his lessons. His father’s gaze held his, “You are like a tree, you need to be sure your roots have healthy rich soil. If there’s ever a time where your roots can’t grow, or are getting choked out then that means you’re not in a healthy place and you can’t grow…uproot yourself and find healthy ground….do you understand.”

          He searched his father’s eyes and slowly nodded, “Yes sir.”

          “I’m not always going to be here to make sure you have healthy soil…” His father kissed his forehead and stood, “I need to know you’ll make sure you find healthy places to grow…”

          There was a heaviness to his father’s voice as he took his hand and lead him back down the trail. Terry blinked feeling the weight of it, even as a young child. When he opened his eyes, everything was dark, black. He blinked again and found himself breathing quickly, fear cloaking the logic part of his brain. His father’s hand wasn’t in his, he couldn’t see, and the air began to feel thin and cold. He choked out a yelp calling for his father.

          Terrence jolted awake; he was surrounded by darkness. His eyes blinked hard struggling to see, as his vision cleared, he found himself surrounded by trees. Shivering he took a sharp breath, where was he? Spinning around trying to figure out if he was dreaming or awake. He took in a sharp breath quickly realizing his surroundings and glanced down, pajama pants and bare feet.

          His breathing came quick as he tried to piece things together and then began to walk briskly towards the trail and down to the parking lot. Thoughts warred in his mind as to whether he was still dreaming, or this was all real. Was this an intense sleepwalking episode? What the fuck was wrong with him? The ground became rough on his cold feet and tears prickled at his eyes, a brisk breeze bit at his face and his heart ached.

          It took him an hour or more of walking to make it to the gas station with the payphone, two cars had passed him, their headlights blinding him. No one stopped. At the payphone, he dialed and shivered waiting for an answer.

          “Joe’s pool hall 8 ball speaking…”

          He couldn’t find his voice and for a moment was convinced this had to be a nightmare before he finally choked out, “Ed…”

          “TJ?”

          His body trembled, “Eddi can you come get me.”

          “What…where are you?”

          “7-11…can you bring a sweatshirt?”

          “On my way…”

          When Eddi pulled up 12 minutes later she jumped out of the car before barely putting it in park and ran up to him. Terry was shivering shirtless, shoeless, and looked half zombie. She quickly handed him the sweatshirt and searched his face as he put it on practically curling his body into it.

          Edison was speechless and Terry was grateful because he had no words either. He edged passed her and got in the passenger seat. When she got in the driver’s seat, she sat silent and unmoving just staring at the steering wheel.

          TJ felt a tear snake down his face another one quickly following. His mind was racing, and he was beginning to feel dizzy and nauseous. He was still shaking but no longer from the cold.

          “Where do you want to go?” she finally asked.

          He sank into the seat, closing his eyes and fighting to keep his breathing even.

          “Ter…” she swallowed and then shook her head.

          “Can you just drive?” his voice was soft.

          They drove in silence, aimlessly as they both felt. She had no clue what to say or ask but the unknown was killing her, and the silence made it worse.

          “Hey, Terry…I don’t know what the fucks going on but I’m right here.”

          Clearing his throat he nodded, “Eddi…thanks…”

          “Do you want music?”

          “My head’s pounding…���

          “You look scared shitless.”

          “Shirtless…”

          Eddi side-eyed him at his attempt at humor. “What you decided to go for a night hike?”

          “I guess…”

          “No really?”

          “Fuck no…I don’t know… I….” The wave of overwhelming emotion passed, and he rubbed his face steadying his breathing. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping. The last thing I remember is passing out at Stanley’s…”

          “And waking up at 7-11?”

          “No…I was…I was dreaming about…” his chest was aching, and he subconsciously rubbed it, “Pinenut trail…I was dreaming about my dad, and I woke up on Pinenut trail.”

          “Fuuuckk…” she exhaled, “You were all the way out at Pinenut trail? How the fuck did you end up out there?”

          Emotion choked him again. He wasn’t sure if it was fear, it was a cold heavy emotion…maybe grief…guilt… Terry sucked in a breath and whispered, “Sleepwalking…”

          “Impossible.”

          “Fuck Eddi I really don’t know…tell me I’m still dreaming…tell me I’m at Stanley’s and I’m not straight tripping right now.”

          “Are you tripping?”

          “Eddi!” the anger was like a flip, and he quickly recognized himself trying to cover, hide from the other emotions. He inhaled sharply and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I’m sorry…”

          “Don’t be…that wasn’t the appropriate question or time…even if it wasn’t 100 percent serious…”

          “I’m scared I’m losing it…”

          She responded by placing her hand on his arm, pulling his hand free, and squeezing it. “Maybe you’re just lost…”

          He nodded squeezing her hand back, “I’m fucking lost.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 15

          “What’s this?”

          Eddi smirked at Terry, “Open it.”

          He unwrapped the sky-blue wrapping glancing from Eddi to the package. Inside the box was a map and a compass. Terry pierced his lips and nodded, “Good one.”

          “Take it as a joke.” Eddi smiled and continued, “But also a reminder that you’re not alone. We’ll get lost and found together.”

          TJ studied her sincere gaze realizing she meant more than a jab, a gag gift, for his birthday. “You know I would have taken socks and shoes.”

          “I thought you enjoyed barefoot hikes. Want me to get you a drink? I’m parched.” He nodded and noticed Owen entering Stanley’s garage with a friend of his.

          “How’s it going? This is my buddy Rico, Rico this is Terry.”

          “Happy Birthday man,” Rico shook Terrence’s hand, “Good to finally meet you.”

          “You too.”

          Eddi stepped up next to Terry and handed him a Coke. “Hey, Owen.”

          “Cailín,” He smiled at Eddi and gave a brief side hug, “This is Rico, Rico this is Eddi.”

          “The famous Eddi. Heard a lot about you.”

          Something like a wave of electricity passed through Eddi, strange, she blinked and smiled at Rico trying to act poised and confident but feeling unsettled. Her eyes met Owens and his brows were furrowed in thought, almost wonderment glistening through his hazel irises.

          Then realizing Rico was probably expecting a response, “I don’t know about famous.”

          “Well, you should be. Are you kidding me I’ve read all your comics. Well, unless Owen’s been holding out on me.”

          Owen’s ears were ringing, and he felt a strange sensation overwhelm his senses and emotions. The strange sense of growing familiarity and warmth, a deeper bond that had him instantly focused on Eddi. There was a moment, a conversation, a look…something had passed between them that unbridled his affection for her, but he couldn’t remember it. Something was off. What was this strange déjà vu? In that moment he realized he had been staring at Eddi and blinked, catching an odd look in her eye. Did she feel that too?

          “Eddi no need for the villainous glare. Owen’s gotta have someone to nerd out with over your comic books.”

          Terry’s voice caused the fuzziness in her head to recede. “Thanks…I’ll be sure to get Owen copies of anything new for you.” Eddi glanced from Rico to Terry, “I’m gonna go man the grill.”

          “Happy Birthday bud.” Owen patted Terry on the shoulder. “What you got there?”

          “Gift from Eddi.”

          Owen pulled the map out of the box, something tickling his mind, he glanced at Rico, then back at the map. “Hu…a map…”

          “It’s sort of a joke.” Terry noticed the distant look in Owen’s eyes, “What is it?”

          “Nothing…déjà vu…or maybe it’s just I never get such thoughtful gifts from Eddi.” He grinned goofily at Terry trying to shake the strange feeling, but a part of him wanted to hold on to it afraid he’d lose it forever.

          “There you are,” Eddi found Terry out back sitting on a ledge of cinderblocks staring at the night sky. “Owen’s getting ready to head out.”

          “You two good?”

          “Yeah…” she sat down next to him and studied the star-studded sky. “You good?”

          “Same…” He glanced from the stars to her. “Just trying to figure out what I’m missing. Something about the stars tonight. Can almost hear them singing…” he smiled sadly.

          They sat silently listening and searching the sky.

          “This is where you’d two be during a party,” Owen smirked and sat down on the other side of Terry.

          “Don’t feel much like partying.”

          “Mira’s about to get the karaoke going…thinking she can get you both inside.”

          “Not happening.” Eddi groaned.

          “Won’t even do Time After Time for us?”

          Eddi blinked and met Terry’s gaze. Their eyes locked on to each other, Terry knew she was feeling the same static energy he was, a softer feeling to the previous times, but the same. “You feel that?”

          She nodded and pulled her gaze from his back to the stars. “Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new, flashback, warm nights, almost left behind, suitcase of memories, time after…” She whispered the words softly in cadence to the beating of her heart.

          Terry could hear the slight quiver in her voice, “If you’re lost you can look and you will find me.”

          “What’s happening right now?” Owen interjected.

          TJ shrugged and looked at him, “Déjà vu.”

          “Sleepwalking.” Eddi chirped in.

          “I’m missing something,” Owen stated.

          “Same feeling you had earlier when you saw the map,” Terry replied.

          “Or when you reintroduced me to Rico…introduced me to Rico…” Eddi shivered but she wasn’t cold, she felt a strange pull to look at Owen to confirm what she had just said but something like fear had her avoiding his gaze.

          “So…you two, too?”

          Terry nodded.

          “Did mom lace the brownies again?” Owen felt anxious and stood, there was a storm of intense emotions rolling through him, emotions that had no place, lost in space, but there and real all the same.

          “Not unless she did it for the 4th of July and the night Ter went sleep hiking on pinenut trail.”

          “Eddi…” TJ grumbled.

          “What? Might make Owen feel a little more normal to know he’s not trippin as hard as you. Besides it sucks to trip alone.”

          Owen glanced from Eddi back to Terry, “You get this intense déjà vu and overwhelming emotion that feels so real yet has no context?”

          He nodded, his eyes still searching the sky, “kinda feel the same buzz just softer when I see the stars. Like there’s something there, just can’t comprehend it…”

          “And sleepwalking?”

          “Had a dream about a time I went hiking with my dad, and woke up in my pjs on the trail…”

          “Sounds more like sleep teleportation.” Owen shifted his gaze to Eddi. She was still staring at the stars, her eyes sparkled, her face shadowed. “And when you met Rico?”

          Eddi bit her lip. Then met Owen’s intent look, she nodded slightly and watched him take a step towards her.

He paused, his eyes closing. “I can’t…I don’t know…” he took a steadying breath and opened his eyes, “Why do I feel like I have amnesia or some shit, and why do I feel like I almost lost you and can’t let that happen again…” his mouth moved faster than his brain and the words came out before he knew if he was even ready to say them. “And why does all this sound so fucking ludicrous.”

Eddi felt the right side of her mouth tug up and shook her head, “Cause you’re tripping. You could never get rid of me.” She stood up and gently hugged Owen to encourage him, knowing the intensity of the emotions they were both feeling.

Her gentle embrace caused something to shift inside of him. Owen no longer cared if the content was missing the feelings were there, and real…he couldn’t deny it. His arms tightened around her, his heart beating deep, a rush of relief, compassion.

“Hey guys, come on you’re up next on Karaoke…” Mira called from across the yard.

Eddi felt Owen sigh and whisper, “Cailín come back to me.”

҉

“Open your eyes. Breathe.” Terry’s eyes flung open and met his father’s deep compassionate gaze. “You’re here. You’re okay. Just a dream.”

“But I was just awake.” His voice was small and breathy as he fought to fill his lungs with air.

His father’s hands gripped his small shoulders tenderly as he smiled comfortingly, “You’re here now.”

TJ nodded and hugged his father tightly, “Can we go home now.” There was a strange new fear of losing his father in the darkness again.

“Yeah buddy,” His father picked him up and carried him down the trail, “Rest son, and remember what I told you.”

He rested his face in the crook of his father’s shoulder, his eyes blinking, afraid to stay shut in the dark.

“Easy, rest.”

҉

Terry felt like he was becoming a zombie. Sleep evaded him. The dull numb ache became the blaring norm. Apathetic and dejected, he went through the motions hoping something would eventually give, but nothing did. Defeated he found himself at the old bar. Sitting in front of him a bottle of beer and a glass of whiskey. He stared at them and waited for Eddi to show.

          “What’s the occasion?” she sat down glancing at the untouched drinks in front of him.

          “Not sure yet?”

          They both stared at the drinks and then she felt him shift his gaze towards her.

          “There’s a high probability that they are going to taste exactly how I remember.”

          Eddi met his gaze partially squinting at him.

          “There’s a chance that I haven’t eaten anything today and this will be enough to cut through the bullshit…”

          “What bullshit?”

          Terry licked his bottom lip. “I haven’t figured that out yet.” He could almost taste the whiskey. “My bullshit…” He exhaled and smiled sadly at her. “I’m starting to think that I can’t fully experience, know or understand this feeling or emotion because I have this invisible, impenetrable wall I’ve built up.” Terry paused and scratched the back of his neck, “I remember these being a good antidote for such walls.”

          Eddi nodded glancing between him and the beer. “Okay…so tonight we are drinking and tearing down walls?”

          He exhaled shifting his weight forward into the bar, “Currently just flirting with the idea…”

          “Talk to me Goose…”

          He groaned. “Eddi... It’s driving me crazy, I’m still so fucking lost. Whatever’s missing it’s like it’s right there, but no matter what I do I can't reach it.”

          Terry sniffed the whiskey.

          “So, giving up and tagging this into the ring.”

          “Ewww…you’ve been spending too much time with Owen.”

          “Can I get you something?”

          Eddi smiled at the bartender. “I’ll have what he’s having. And a coke.”

          “Sure thing.”

          “Thought I was going to have to flash someone to get service.” Eddi joked with Terry.

          “What are you doing?”

          “If you drink, I drink.” She smiled sincerely at him, “If you go for an adventure, I’m coming with you if you want to jump out of a plane…well, I might go first.”

          He shook his head, “is this your way of stopping me?”

          “No…I’m joining you. Besides, I’m not the one with a drinking problem…just decided I didn’t like alcohol so much and I liked you more. I also hate Coke but it’s so good.”

          He laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

          “Why because I like you? I know still trying to figure that one out.” Her smile turned into a smirk. “It’s not going to help you remember but if you think it’ll help tear down this wall that’s in your way so be it.” She took a sip from the beer, “But that doesn’t mean I won’t cut you off or dry you out if need be.”

          “What do you think Scotty would say?”

          She shrugged, “Broski, this is best done with a sober mind.” Her voice mimicked their old friend’s.

          As her voice faded, a song began rising through the speakers, his whole body turned towards the jukebox, his heart thudding deeply in his chest, as though it was trying to tell him something, his eyes searching desperately in an attempt to find the answers.

          “Everybody here is out of sight, they don’t bark and they don’t bite, they keep things loose, they keep things alight, everybody was dancing in the moonlight”

          There was a flicker, and he searched the crowd near the jukebox swearing he saw a girl dancing, there was that pull again. His feet followed it. Where’d that girl go? He blinked and felt that static energy surge in his head again. Bright flashing light blinded him causing him to freeze in place. Was he about to have another one of those attacks? His vision cleared and he blinked, shaken, he glanced at his trembling fingers as he tried to even his breathing and cause his heart to follow pace.

          “Whoa…what’s going on?”

          Terry felt Eddi step up next to him. “That song…” he mumbled, his voice quivered, and he swallowed hard, “I thought I saw someone.”

          “Who?”

          “I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what the fuck is happening.”

          “You want that shot?” Eddi was at a loss and frightened by the look on his face.

          He shook his head and headed swiftly for the door.

          Eddi paid their tab and then found him outside pacing back and forth.

          “What’s going on?”

          Terry paused and glanced at her, “what’s missing?” His voice trembled thick with emotion.

          “Time?”

          His eyes met hers and she could see him blink back tears and swallow hard, his adam’s apple bobbing. “You feel it?”

          Eddi shrugged, “sometimes more than others.” She knew he wanted confirmation that at this moment it wasn’t just him tripping. “Who did you think you saw?”

          Terry shook his head hating the suffocating, burning, crushing feeling in his chest, a feeling that lacked context, and comprehension. The pain was making him want all of this to go away. Just call him crazy and lock him up.

          “Who Terry?”

          She was going to force him to answer, and as much as he fought it his mind still searched for a face and a name to go with the girl that he saw dancing. “I don’t know,” He shut his eyes tightly, “I don’t know…some girl…and that song…”

          “Dancing in the moonlight?”

          The static energy was burning, and he fought the temptation to grumble and shut her up, with all this chaos.

          “What are you feeling?” Eddi was almost pleading with him, “Terry describe what you are feeling right now, or in there.”

          “Guilt…loss, despair…grief?”

          “Where’s it coming from?”

          He shook his head, “Eddi…”

          “How do you feel about the girl?”

          Terry felt his heart tighten, his breathing was becoming erratic, and he focused on steadying it before following the feeling. “I feel like I let her down, I feel like she knew me better than I did. I feel like I lost her and lost a part of myself.”

          The sound of a car passing was the only thing that reminded Eddi of where they were. She felt a tug at Terry’s words and a tickle in her brain. “What was her name?”

          Silence was the response, followed by a look of remorse on Terry’s face. The feeling was passing, was gone. There was nothing to grab hold of. Just the feeling of missing time, echoing that numb ache through him.

          “We have more than we did yesterday,” she attempted to encourage him.

          After a moment he nodded slowly, “It just makes the emotions and the nightmares more intense.”

          “Have you remembered anything from them yet?”

          Terry shook his head, “Come on let’s get out of here.”

҉

“Mira.”

Mira headed to the counter to grab her coffee and noticed the newspaper someone had left there.

“Hot day for long sleeves…”

That foreign feeling buzzed through Mira as she reached for her coffee, her left sleeve tugging on her arm revealing the tattoo, her eyes dancing between her wrist and the newspaper.

“Can I get you anything else?”

That voice. Mira felt disoriented and glanced up.

The barista smiled at her, “You can take the newspaper, I think whoever left it was finished with it.”

Pressure and blinding light began to build as a slow buzz getting more obnoxious and ringing through her ears, almost like a migraine taking over her faculties. Her hands released everything as though they shocked her, and she blinked vigorously trying to clear her vision.

“TJ…” her hands trembled at the intense emotion causing a tumultuous battle within her head and heart. Shake it off, she thought briefly, before turning and rushing out of the coffeehouse.

“So, what exactly happened between you two, or is going on with you?” Terry shifted the map on the table and glanced at their scribbled notes of feelings and vague dreams or memories, trying to find some connection.

“I don’t know it was like something wasn’t there, and then it was, and it had always been there…” Eddi felt odd talking about her and Owen.

“Well, I mean you always had a crush on him,” TJ smirked at her. “What happened though, what changed…”

She shrugged, “Something triggered, or flashed when I met Rico and I felt this strange sense of…” Eddi shifted uncomfortably, “longing and security…”

“What do you mean?”

Sighing she struggled to fight off the insecurity, “I don’t like feeling like Sam Baker…”

“Come on Eddi…”

Exasperated she exhaled harshly and closed her eyes trying to focus on those feelings that had jolted through her at his birthday party.

“TJ…” Mira burst into the garage and stopped momentarily staring at him and then rushed to him crushing him in a hug.

“What’s wrong?” Terry could feel his sister’s heart pounding, her breathing harsh.

Tears burned her eyes and wet her cheeks; her throat was tight. There were no words for the intense feelings that rocked through her, other than the rushing relief of seeing Terry. Thoughts spun through her mind, dizzying and disorienting.

“You’re here.”  

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

          Her body felt like it was swaying, it was rhythmic and soothing, her mind associated it with relaxing in a hammock. Eddi felt her body relax into the swaying, her mind seeming to empty its thoughts and concerns and rest in the darkness that swallowed her. The darkness, the air became thicker, and she realized she was floating in water. Floating? Where was she? Gentle waves pushed her back and forth lulling her deeper into some sort of stupor.

          As if it were possible the darkness got darker, and the waves grew. Eddi wasn’t floating, she was submerged. Swallowed by black water. And yet completely at ease. Drifting.

          “Cailín come back to me.”

          Edison jolted upright, choking on air, wet, drenched in sweat. Her hands clenched her bed sheet, her chest heaving as she tried to calm her racing heart and mind. The darkness of her room felt like it was closing in on her and she couldn’t quiet her racing mind. She needed to get out.

          Dawning a hoodie and slipping on her sneakers she bolted outside, sucking in the fresh air and shivering from a deep chill from within. Her heart was still racing. She had to calm down. Had to process. Make sense of what was going on.

          Her feet moved her down the path, each step giving her a distance from the intoxicating feeling of that overwhelming darkness that seemed to want to drag her in. Was this similar to Terry’s nightmares? She paused part of her wanted to look back and see if the deep darkness was following her. Fear made her want to keep moving, to get somewhere, to get to someone, anyone.

          “Cailín?”

          She spun around and saw Owen approaching. The sound of his voice, like an echo from before, had a gravity to it. “Owen…”

          He stepped up to her, his eyes searching hers almost pleadingly.

          “What are you doing here?”

҉

          Terry stared at the symbol on the page in front of him. It matched Mira’s tattoo. He remembered when she got the tattoo, it was her reminder of their father. Some symbol he had taught her to draw as a child and told her to never forget. She said it was what triggered her “déjà vu,” that it had caused a flash of a memory. He rubbed his forehead, his eyes exhausted but his mind not letting him sleep. His mind replayed the moment his sister interrupted him and Eddi. The terrified look on her face, the crushing hug, the energy that seemed to pulse through her.

          Mira had explained that her episode felt like she had suffered a severe migraine that turned into a crushing blow of grief and loss. That she was certain she had lost him. Her feelings were extreme but illogical, at least that’s what she said when she calmed down.

          Was there logic to any of this? How were they all having similar experiences? Missing memories? Missing time? He got up and started pacing around Stanley’s guest room. Focusing on his breathing instead of the thoughts and fear that seemed to plague him.

          His eyes spotted something poking out from under the bed. He bent down and pulled out Eddi’s cigar box.

          Terry sat back down on his bed, his fingers tracing the box before opening it. His breath caught in his throat. That static energy started building the moment he saw the Rubik’s cube. He stood to his feet, snatching it out of the box and gripping it. Pain seared through his head accompanied by a bright flashing light, an echo of a voice, a laugh.

          “Unsolvable Rubik’s cube…” his heartbeat deeply and he knew he had to press into the pain, the overwhelming emotion, but somehow maintain consciousness. “Unsolvable Rubik’s cube…” his eyes shut instinctively as pain seemed to split through his chest. Light blinded him, seeing nothing but white, his knees buckled as he fought to breathe through the pain. His fingers curled tightly around the keychain.

          Something like a picture, a faded memory flashed through his mind breaking up the brightness that swallowed him. It brought with it a spark of joy quickly followed by remorse. He pressed into the feeling, almost forgetting to breathe.

          Then he heard himself ask, “Tell me what happened in that old shop.”

          There was a response that followed but he couldn’t hear it over the electricity that seemed to course through his veins, snapping through his nerves, his eyes fluttered, burning from the bright light, heat spread through him, and he felt his body go limp.

҉

          Owen pressed the beer bottle to his lips and swallowed a deep gulp. He had awoken from a bad dream that he couldn’t remember, all he knew was that the same gripping emotion that passed over him at Stanley’s was haunting him. His eyes shut at the crippling thought that it wasn’t something that happened but was happening or going to happen. He wanted to push the thought from his mind, but he swallowed another gulp of beer and opened his eyes.

          Standing to his feet he took a few steps towards his shelf. His mind working over the thoughts and emotions. What’s holding you back? What are you afraid of?

          “When you face fear, you can’t fail…you’ve already won,” Owen whispered the words as he reached for the pendant his brother had given him. As his fingers brushed against it, he felt the zap of energy bolt up his hand, through his arm, triggering a blinding light. The faintest memory teased at his mind. And then that crushing emotion. He staggered back dropping the pendant and blinked hard.

҉

            The ringing of her phone awoke her. Eddi sat up and looked around. Disoriented and confused she reached for the phone and answered it, “Hello?”

          “Are you okay?”

          “I don’t know…” she blinked, “you?”

          She heard Terry exhale, “I had another episode. Can you come over?”

          “Yeah…sure…”

          “Owen’s coming too. Want him to pick you up?”

          Eddi glanced at her alarm clock and ran her fingers through her hair. “That’s okay…see you soon.”

          Terry stood over the table staring through it. He could feel Owen’s gaze on him, waiting for a response. He shook his head and closed his eyes trying to concentrate, “Say that again?”

          “What if it’s something that is happening or hasn’t happened yet?” Owen repeated.

          The words settled in his brain, and he shook his head, “I can’t even figure out what’s missing, how am I supposed to figure out what’s happening or going to happen.”

          “Maybe you’re looking at it all wrong.”

          “How can I be looking at it all wrong if I don’t even know what I’m looking at?”

          “Maybe stop trying to fill in the blanks and focus on what you do have.”

          “I’m trying…” he blew out a harsh breath.

          “Here.” Owen placed the pendant on the table in front of Terry wondering if he would have the same experience.

          Terry glanced at the pendant and then at Owen. It was then that he noticed the intensity in his gaze.

          “We have to figure this out.” His voice was thick with emotion, and he blinked back tears. “Terry, we have to…”

          Nodding he pulled his gaze from Owen’s and glanced back at the pendant. Dread and fear washed over him at the thought of what had Owen so worked up.

          “Starting without me?”

          Owen swept his eyes and inhaled a shaky breath.

          “If we even knew where to start…” Terry turned towards Eddi as she stepped up to the table.

          She glanced between Terry and Owen noticing the intensity between the two. “Geeze you could cut a knife through the tension in this room.” Her eyes wandered over Owen. He seemed to be avoiding eye contact, staring down at the table. His hands gripping the edge of it, knuckles white.

          “What did I miss?” her eyes wandered back over to Terry.

          “A Rubik’s cube and…” Terry paused shook his head, “Your cigar box was in my room…”

          “What?” Her eyes scanned the table, and she noticed her Rubik’s cube keychain.

          “How…” Eddi wracked her brain trying to remember when she had brought it here. “Rubik’s cube?”

          “Yeah, severe allergic reaction.” Terry joked but his tone was serious, and he pulled away from the table needing a moment.

          Eddi eyed the Rubik’s cube a moment longer before scanning the table and noticing Owen’s pendant. She felt slightly dizzy and blinked and glanced at Owen. His eyes were shut tight, but she could see a heaviness about him.

          “Your pendant?”

          Owen just shook his head.

          Something inside her felt cold and distant, a sharp reminder of the tormenting dream. She sucked in a deep breath, “smoke break.” She stepped outside and propped herself against the garage door as she lit a Black n Mild. Her eyes closed with the first inhale and opened at the puff.

          “Beat the level.” She mumbled to herself as she fought the urge to shove the dream…nightmare into the dark corners of her mind.

          Owen shoved back from the table and glanced at the door Eddi had just left through. His heart was aching. He could no longer shake the haunting feeling. Don’t let it hold you back, he heard Scotty’s voice encourage him. Feeling a tremor work its way through his fingers he balled his hands into fists. Motion in the doorway caused him to glance up and see Eddi briskly walk back in. She had a determined look on her face that caught him off guard. And then she was in front of him staring into his eyes.

          She didn’t speak, just searched his eyes, and then shifted her gaze to his chest. He felt her fingers wrap around his right fist. Her touch was cold. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

          Eddi tightened her grip on his hand as she closed her eyes, breathing deeply to steady herself and forcing herself to relive the nightmare. The darkness swallowed her, and she remembered how she let it, in her dream, the feeling of almost wanting to fade into it. A deep chill ran through her body and bore into her bones causing her to shiver.

          Owen opened his fist and enveloped her hand in his, her fingers like ice. He noticed her shiver and watched her face seem to pale. He tightened his grip on her hand.

          Warmth began to spread up from her hand through her arm. She breathed through the chill remembering the echo of Owen’s voice pulling her from it in her dream. The cold made her feel weak, tired. She leaned into Owen for warmth and support, her forehead resting against his chest.

          Terry watched this unfold noticing her lips turn a shade of blue and then regain their color. He didn’t understand what was happening and wondered if Owen did.

          “Cailín?” His left hand moved to her face, it was cold, but he could feel it warming up, feel warm air coming from her nostrils. He slid his hand to the back of her neck pulling her deeper into him.

          “You came for me.” She murmured into his chest.

          “What?”

          “In my dream. You pulled me out of it.” She relaxed into him feeling safe, secure, warm.

          Owen shifted his right arm around the low of her back and held her tightly against him. “Why are you so cold?”

          “What dream?” Terry awkwardly stepped towards them.

          It was Owen’s question that caused her to shift from his embrace, blink and look over at Terry. Pausing, breathing, thinking, while she studied his face, remembering how cold he was when she picked him up from the 7-11.

          “I’m not sure if it was a dream. I think I was…fading out…” Her mind wandered to Scotty and the discussion of stars and life and death at the warehouse.

          Terry noticed the shadow that crossed over Owen’s face and knew he had to. He swallowed hard and picked up the pendant without giving it another thought. The buzzing caused him to grit his teeth expecting a bolt of pain, instead a spark and fizzle of a memory. “I can’t take this.” He set the pendant back down and squinted at it before making eye contact with Owen. “What did you see or feel?”

          How did he explain it? Clearing his throat, “You said to let you go and that some battles we were bound to lose.”

          Terry watched Owen’s jaw tighten, a storm brewing in his eyes. There was more to it. “What else?”

          His eyes locked on to Terrys, “you vanished…” Owen swallowed and carried on, “You were gone…completely…the pain and emotions with you. Like…” His gaze shifted towards Eddi and then the ground, “like you faded into... nothing…oblivion…no trace…”

҉

He needed space, he needed time, he needed to clear his head. Terrence didn’t know what he needed. The dull ache in his chest was wearing on him. There was now this added weight bearing down on him. How was it going to affect those he cared most about. The fact that they were having eerily similar experiences scared him more than if it were just him.

          The vibrating of his skateboard under his feet, as he cruised on worn cement down 5th reminded him of the static buzzing feel. His chest heaved as he fought between breathing evenly, and clenching his breath, anything to lessen the pressure building on his ribcage.

          He skipped the song he was listening to, trying to find one that would distract him. Terry sighed at the instant relief from the music in his ears. For a moment he listened, content, allowing himself to be absorbed into the song. Before long he was lip singing along.

Sometimes it gets so hard to breathe

Your eyes see right through me

These fights with your arms left beside

It's one thing and one more says goodnight

You've got the map come get to me

These knuckles break before they bleed

Tear out these veins that own my heart

This skin that wears your lasting marks

I've built these walls come get to me, come get to me

          TJ was so lost in the song he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. But then again, he didn’t have a destination in mind. He enjoyed the release of skateboarding and being caught up in the music.

          The song somehow skipped and Let Go by Frou Frou came on. Such a beautiful, enchanting voice. And all at once his ears started ringing, his skateboard hit a divot in the sidewalk, his body went cold as he tried to catch himself. It was no use; he was blinded by a bright electric light that pulsed through him with searing pain. His left shoulder hit the ground before his head.

          Flashes of pictures, memories, sounds, thoughts…feelings. Then darkness. A soft melody. A light, like a star swaying. Terry felt like he was weightless spinning, floating. He focused on the twinkling light, trying to move towards it.

          “Hey dude…are you good?”

          The darkness faded into the redish glow of the sun beating down on his eyelids. He blinked, his heart thudding, disappointment washed over him. Another fleeting moment, memory.

          “Dude you good?”

          “Yeah…” He forced himself to sit up, “Thanks man.”

          The stranger in jogging shorts and a tank looked over him to be sure and then said, “take it easy.”

          Terry sighed heavily and stood up checking over himself. Besides being scraped up and sore, it was nothing compared to the ringing in his ears, and splitting pain in his heart and head. He glanced around realizing his music had stopped, and he was lost, gone down a street…

          His breath caught in his throat, his feet were buzzing, he’d been here before. He took a step closer to the old shop, old pawn shop. A “Do Not Enter” sign and caution tape across the entrance.

          Another step forward and he felt the electric draw, pain, the white light building in the corners of his eyes. An intense pull, but something had him frozen.

҉

“What changed?”

          “Nothing…and everything. What we do with this moment, now, that’s what matters.” He sighed and shifted in the passenger seat, “I used to waste time wondering if I would have never met her, would I have done things differently…Then I’d tell myself it was meant to be…but even if it wasn’t… What we have is now, and what matters is what we do with it.” He scratched his head, his eyes wandering. “Things happen. And we can sit here and dissect it all. Maybe it would be beneficial in growing and understanding everything, but would we miss this moment? Living with regret or resentment only holds us back and causes us to miss out.”

          “So, what are you going to do now?” Stanley eyed this strange man who had somehow become his best friend.

          He breathed deeply and slowly exhaled, shaking his head, “If I were to vanish right now, leaving no evidence or memory of my existence, would it matter? Would any of it matter?” His head tilted up his eyes scanning the sky, “even if none of it matters…I think about how we are made up of atoms and energy, and what if this was my last now, I’d like to think the energy that I leave in my wake beats, breathes, hums the song of life, of what’s right…of love.” Their gazes met and a small smile lit his face, “I’ve discovered my will, my desire, is to leave that behind so every now I make it about that. Whether it ultimately matters…” He shrugged.

          “No matter the consequences, the pain?”

          “What is pain but evidence of life and love…”

          How could he be so chill, so at peace…meanwhile he felt like everything hung in the balance, as though they were standing on a precipice?

          “Live in the now Stanley…Teach them to live in the now. Be there for them when it hurts so much, they try to avoid it. Let it guide you, guide them.”

          Stanley woke up and stared at the ceiling. The fan twirled at a steady beat. He inhaled and glanced at his watch. Time had a funny way of seeming to move faster or slower depending on circumstances. At this moment he felt caught in between the two. It was moving too fast, and it couldn’t move fast enough. He sighed and sat up shifting his body towards the edge of his bed.

          The night of the accident played through his mind as he eased himself into the wheelchair. There was no denying the pang of guilt.  Even though he knew there was nothing he could do stop it, or change what had happened, it still ate at him. He could hear his old friend telling him to live in the now, to be okay with the unknowns, to trust in the Will even if it didn’t make sense.

          Maybe he did want to make sense of all of this. He was a man of logic and facts. But there was another part of him that was also intrigued by the mystery of it all. Maybe he wouldn’t ever make sense of it all, but maybe he would find something that would give him peace, that would quiet his mind.

          Faith was often attributed to believing in something with conviction even if it wasn’t something you could fully see or comprehend or prove. To have faith in someone to keep their word, or something to do what it was intended for. Trust, belief, loyalty…in someone or something.

          “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

[kelsywrites]

Time & Space Colliding

Chapter 17

There was a strange energy in the air, a feeling of electrical suspense. They sat next to each other lingering in it. Not a word needed to be said. His presence was sweet and safe, and Eddi felt if she were to speak it would only magnify the energy and break the comfort, she felt flowing from him.

          Orange and purple painted the sky as the sun sunk towards the horizon. The summer was turning to fall, the air was crisp, and Owen could almost feel the warmth fading away. His mind wandered to the cold feeling that was haunting him. He had been through a lot, lost a lot; suffered from fear, anxiety, depression, but nothing felt so daunting as the feeling that seemed to swallow him at Terry’s birthday and then again when he gripped that pendant. 

          As a kid, he remembered the first time he felt deep loss and wanted to never feel it again. He had to wrestle with it often, knowing that the only way to avoid that feeling was to not allow himself to enjoy the gifts of deep connections, relationships…life, and love. Without thinking his left hand slid from resting on his thigh to intertwining his fingers with Eddi’s. When he realized what he had done he glanced at their hands and cleared his throat.

          “Thanks for coming to dinner tonight.”

          The porch swing creaked as it swayed with their weight. Eddi squeezed his hand. Knowing that he meant more than what he said. She could hear it in the slight waver of his deep voice, sense it in the energy pulsing around them.

          Owen smiled softly at Eddi remembering how they all but took her in as a child. Memories of her as a quirky, quiet child flashed through his mind. The way she danced when she felt awkward, did impersonations and silly voices when things got too serious, the way she hummed or sang softly when it was too quiet as though she was trying to stay in the moment and not drift to some dark places in her mind. He felt the cold creeping in shadowing his memories…was it fear, dread of losing? Overwhelmed with the desire to hold on to her to protect her now as he had back then.

          She searched his eyes noticing the tint of emotion and wondered if she should ask. Maybe she didn’t want to ask, she didn’t want to acknowledge the weight they were both feeling. But was avoiding it the answer? Taking a deep breath, she slowly blew it out, “What are you feeling?”

          He swallowed and blinked hard. His mind searched for words. “Cold…” he shook his head, “I don’t know…haven’t been able to shake that feeling that came over me when I picked up that pendant.” His gaze shifted back to the sky as he thought about how cold Eddi got when she thought about her dream. The way she mentioned fading out, the way he felt Terry fade away. “My mind tells me the only way to be rid of it is to push it all away…”

          Eddi watched his eyes seem to search the sky, the shadow falling over his face, the way his throat constricted, and felt his grip tighten around hers.

          “I keep telling myself I’d rather have this moment with you and suffer the pain of losing you than not know you, not have you…even if the pain of losing you is unbearable…”

          Silence fell between the two of them. The only sound was the creak of the swing and the insects singing their night songs. Stars started to peak into the darkening sky.

          A tear built up and snuck past her lashes, then slowly slid down her cheek; more began to burn her eyes, and she blinked. Eddi wasn’t sure if she was surprised by the sudden moisture in her eyes, surprised at how his words affected her.

          “This déjà vu, this missing memory, memories…I want them, I’m afraid of them, but I want them.”

          Eddi felt Owen shift his gaze back towards her. She felt exposed and her chin dropped to hide her tears from him.

          Silence again, this time deafening. She could hear her heartbeat and feel anxiety building in her nerve endings. Mentally she searched for words to break the silence, hoping he would say something, anything.

          “What are you feeling?” His question was gentle but intrusive.

          And now she preferred silence. Her heart thudded and her mind spun as her eyes fell shut, more tears escaped. What was she really feeling? Eddi thought about the dream, how Owen showed up, and how he felt safe and warm. The fact that she wasn’t afraid of the dream but of herself giving in to it.

          “Eddi?” He hadn’t noticed the tears until he saw one fall from the curve of her chin. Owen didn’t want to push, but had a longing to know, to connect with her…in anyway, to be able to hold on to her, anything to keep her from becoming distant, from fading away.

          “I’m trying to wrap my mind around the dream, the way I felt, the way it makes me feel. Now thinking about it, it was a nightmare, but I wasn’t scared…and that scares me… I was content, almost drifting into it. And it wasn’t until I heard your voice that I realized how cold and empty I felt. And what you said just now was touching, comforting warm…” Her voice was just above a whisper and held the slightest tremble to it.  

          “Maybe it’s okay that some part of you wasn’t scared, maybe this isn’t something to be feared with dread, but with the fear of being aware…of acknowledging the magnitude and power of what you face…the wise kind of fear…”

He took a steadying breath his mind working through it all. “…And maybe that’s the key…connection…” he voiced his unpolished thought.

          She felt his finger hook under her chin and tilt her face up, their eyes meeting. His gaze penetrating, searching hers.

          Her beautiful brown eyes glistened, hesitation or reservation seemed to shadow them, as though she was holding something back, hiding. His heart pounded, as he considered the idea of connection being the key, the answer to the mystery, the missing memory. Another trigger…spark. His desire to break through her reservation, to reach her, to tap into that deeper bond. His eyes fell to her lips.

          Before another thought could surface, he gently pressed his lips against hers. Shutting out the doubts that warred within him, the fear, the hesitation, the lies he told himself that hindered him from true connection.

҉

          The electric draw was undeniable, and Terry took a step forward subconsciously lifting his hand and placing it on the glass door of the old pawn shop. There was a sudden jolt that passed through him. Immediately he felt cold, ice down to his bones, his core, a vaguely familiar and terrifying feeling. The cold brought with it an unbearable pain, he stepped back remembering feeling this very way followed by the cold numbing him. His throat constricted, his heart pounded hard against the cold, fighting the feeling seeping through his entire being, fighting the fear that shook him from the inside out. He trembled and swallowed hard, blinked and realized he was staring at the wall he had built up.

          Terrence couldn’t shake the terrifying chill that had managed to burrow deep into his bones, his soul. Shivering he tore through his room searching, tossing old hoodies, sweat pants, shirts, behind him. He ransacked his closet before tearing through another dresser. Dropping to his knees desperately he glanced under his bed. Empty…as he felt. He couldn’t feel his fingers anymore, he glanced at his hands, his joints, aching from the terrible cold. Where was his flannel? He couldn’t remember the last time he had it. Tears burned his eyes, his lips trembled, so cold he didn’t doubt they weren’t purple. TJ stood to his feet, wrapping his arms around himself, he stumbled to the sofa chair. His mind was numb. How could he have lost his father’s flannel?

          His jaw clenched tight, trying to fight from shivering anymore, his muscles were exhausted. This haunting cold… he closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing. Why was he so cold? What happened when he touched that door at the pawn shop?

          Opening his eyes, he stared at the floor. Maybe Mira had borrowed it? She wouldn’t have…would she have? Did he leave it in Stanley’s truck? Was it in the laundry? Still shivering, slowly he made his way through the rest of Stanley’s house looking for it. His feet froze in front of the front door. There on the floor by the front table, like it had fallen and been forgotten lay his father’s flannel. Timidly, feeling a pang of guilt, he reached for it. His fingers gently caressing the softness of the faded shirt before pulling it to his chest and then burying his face in it. He sank to his knees as he inhaled into the warm flannel and his world shifted.

          “Sorry…he didn’t make it…” the voice, the words sounded like a hollow echo that rippled through him. They caused a chill to course through him, goosebumps on his skin, to prickling his nerve endings on into his bones, a deep chill, he was cold, felt as though he was freezing from the inside out. Trapped in his own freezing world, a horrible snow globe, through the frosty haze he could see Mira crumple at the news of the loss of their father, the only thing keeping her from completely falling out was the hospital chair that caught her. The cold, unsympathetic hospital chair, that had heard this kind of news over and over throughout the day.

          The cold feeling consumed TJ, his body ached with it, his fingers losing feeling, his heart shuttering, his chest tightening, the air entering his lungs felt thin and icy. His mind was frozen, thoughts trying to trudge through a blizzard. Almost an out of body experience.

          His sister let out a sob that broke through the frozen terror and his gaze shifted, she needed him, he felt his mind and body go from unbearable pain of frostbite to completely numb. His hand reached out towards her, and he gripped her shoulder.

          Static.

          “I like your flannel.”

          Her voice was soft, almost a melody, he studied her as they walked, her mesmerizing eyes looking him over as though she was trying to piece together a puzzle before meeting his.

          “Thanks…it was my dad’s.”

          Something softened her ocean jasper eyes…compassion? Empathy?

          Static.

          “What are you doing in there anyway…Seems sketch?”

          “You ask a lot of questions.”

          Static.

          “Deni…”

          “You’re not supposed to be here…what are you doing here?”

          “I heard something and was concerned you were in trouble. Shit you’re bleeding.”

          Terrence’s fingers trembled as he pulled the flannel from his hips and pressed it against her side putting pressure on the wound.

          “Terr…no…your flannel…”

          Terry shivered, his eyes scanned the trail finding the turn off he headed deeper into the woods. The sun was beginning to set, the warmth of the day fading out with it. He thought about how numb he became, how it was welcome relief to the cold ache in his nerves and bones. His feet stopped before he had even realized he had made it to the spot. There in front of him two trees one had grown broad and tall. He stared at it forcing himself to feel the loss of his father again.

          An unbearable freeze washed over him, cut through his bones and down into his chest. He didn’t fight it, trembled, and breathed through it as it slowly transformed into the aching feeling of dread and uncertainty. Of feeling like a lost child, with no one to turn to. The terror and anxiety at the thought of a world without his father. Not knowing how to move on. Guilt and regret, of going on without him, the world still turning, his heart still beating. The fear of forgetting parts of him, his memory and lessons fading with each breath and moment that passed.  Anger and hurt, that his father would leave, or be taken from him. Light and color seemed to fade, his surroundings dimming, his heart shuttered. Tears burned his eyes and left warm trails down his ice-cold cheeks. Sobs ran violently through him like a raging river, tossing him through each heart wrenching emotion.

҉

          “Aren’t you cold?” Eddi asked as she reached the top of the ladder glancing from where Terry sat looking over the vacant warehouse. The moon was a bright sliver in the sky, it was a dark and chilly fall night. She cautiously sat down next to him.

          Terry felt her shoulder press against his, the warmth of her presence contradicting the deep cold inside of him. His eyes fell shut as he heard his father’s words about having roots. He swallowed deeply, feeling more warm tears slip past his lashes.

          “I’m glad you called,” she spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the serene feeling of the night. “You okay?”

          He remembered the night Scotty brought them here, his mind running through the memories of the three of them. Then he thought about the night Scotty died. The gunfire interrupting their night the fear that froze him momentarily, seeing his friend’s body go limp before hitting the dirt, his instincts taking over, shielding his friend until the gunfire stopped, and then doing what he could to stop the bleeding and keep his heart beating. The paramedics pulling him off, not knowing what to do but standing there completely lost until Eddi was standing in front of him. She had appeared out of nowhere and then she was there, and she had pulled him into a tight hug. No words were said but the feeling of her warm embrace, knowing that he wasn’t alone.

          “You know the difference between loss and lost is one letter?” he finally spoke up, his voice hoarse.

          She stared at the ground below them, their feet dangling, causing dancing eerie shadows.

          “When my dad died…” he felt a sob choke him and he swallowed hard, “I felt the sting of the loss and then all I remember was feeling completely lost…like I was sinking in a dark ocean and didn’t know which way was up…” his voice lowered to a soft husky whisper, “lost myself.”

          Her mind wandered to the spooky dream she had before she forced her attention back on Terry.

          “I was so cold, and then numb and completely lost. And I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I think some of the decisions I made were to try to feel something again…anything but the cold ache, or the numb…dead…feeling.” He inhaled sharply and then slowly exhaled trying to even his breathing. “Edison…I’ve been so afraid of feeling lost like that again that I didn’t even allow myself to be found…you and Scotty saw me though…you Scotty and Owen held on to me even when I wasn’t able…willing to…” he sighed and pressed into her shoulder, “I think…I think this girl had the answers…and I’m afraid that I’m going to find them…but only to feel lost again…” as the words tumbled out of his mouth he realized they didn’t really make sense… he swallowed hard… “I mean…”

          “You’ll only find her to lose her…”

          Silence followed.

          Eddi eyed Terrence’s side profile, his face dark, shadowed.

          “The difference between not knowing and knowing. The weight of the pain. Drowning, being lost, and not knowing which way is up…” TJ cleared his throat, “But you’ve got me.”

          She bit back a sad smile and whispered, “always.”

          Terry sat still in the silence that fell between them, cherishing the warmth he felt emanating from her, as though it was slowly wrapping around him trying to find its way inside, maybe to warm his lost, cold soul.

          It took him a moment, a deep breath, to find the courage to break the stillness, “I know where we have to go…”

          There was a weight to his voice that caused the words he spoke to bear down on her. She wrestled with the desire to protect him, “Are you sure about this?” She almost regretted the question the moment it left her lips.

          “Sure…”

          She bit back the sad smile that felt heavy and nodded as warm tears misted her vision she blinked and nodded.

          Owen stepped out of the shadows eyeing Eddi and Terry cautiously. The vacant building they stood in front of gave him chills as though it’s walls held a ominous air that seemed to choke, suck the life out of the atmosphere. “This it?” anxiety colored his voice and he swallowed and cleared his throat feeling small and weak. He struggled to find the part of him that faced fights and battles head on. His gaze shifted from Terry’s to Eddi’s hoping to find some sort of solace in her. Instead he found himself more worried. He blinked hard and shifted on his feet, forcing himself to look at the glass door that had been taped off, warning them from entering. He wanted, needed to be strong for them.

          Eddi nodded and placed her trembling fingers on Owen’s sleeve, fighting the hesitation to pull back she slipped her hand down into his and wrapped her cold fingers around his gripping firmly. She felt his fingers twitch before squeezing her hand tightly.

          “Suspense…spooky spirits…time to face our demons.” Eddi’s voice was sure and steady, a hint of sarcasm, a notch above a whisper.

          Terrence glanced sideways at her as she wrapped her other hand around his, he smiled sadly and swallowed, “Time to face the music.” He took a step towards the door, “This is gonna sting…” His free hand wrapped around the handle, no longer hesitating, he sharply pulled it open.

          White light swallowed him, static rung in his ears, his body vibrated, electricity pulsed through him with every heartbeat, the air in his lungs felt like swallowing fire. He pressed through, fighting the pain, the urge to turn back and run, clung to the feeling of Eddi’s hand in his, blinking his eyes trying to see through the blinding light.

          Owen stared into the darkness his whole-body trembling. His sight swallowed by the black void they now stood in, his mind racing, questions and fears plaguing him.

          Cold air seemed to swallow them, the darkness felt like a black hole, and she was flying, falling through it. Eddi focused on her breathing, fighting the feeling of panic, fear from her nightmare, fear of losing, of being lost and then in that moment she realized what she was feeling wasn’t just her, it was TJ…TJ’s thoughts, fears, emotions.

          Something like an explosion erupted. Air was sucked from her lungs, suddenly she felt weightless, gravity was just a concept, her mind was blank, her hands empty, her heart pounded harshly against the silence that deafened her, there was nothing to hold on to. She wasn’t sure if she was falling, and whether or not she needed to brace for impact, or if she was floating in an endless depth, swallowed by some dark void.

          The blinding light turned into bright flashes of light, projections of memories, his heart aching with each beat, each flash. His breathing was shallow as he tried to breathe through the pain, just breathe. Tears streaked his cheeks, the flashes became so vibrant, so real like he was caught up in each memory, moment, experiencing the joy and heartbreak. Ocean spray on his face as he chased his sister on damp sand. The sound of a soft voice singing. Staring up at the stars hearing his father tell stories. Wandering through the woods. Dancing in the moonlight, chasing fireflies. Karaoke. Skateboarding. Fighting. Running. Laughter. Jasper eyes. Starlight. There was a humming sound building in his ears, bringing with it a thrum of electricity, the hairs on his arms rising on end, time was running out. He had but a moment and he let go. Let go of Eddi’s hand, of everything holding him back. He hurdled himself up on the broken glass case of the old abandoned pawn shop. Stretched without hesitation reaching through the ceiling tile and snatching up the watch, as he fell into cold darkness he snapped the watch around Owen’s wrist. The humming erupted into an electric explosion plummeting him into a black abyss.

          Every cell in her wanted to fight the feeling of being swallowed by the darkness. She wasn’t sure if she was feeling cold or empty. Her mind searched for something to cling on to. Her body felt limp and lifeless as it seemed to be sucked into this dark endless void, a black ocean. Pressure built in her lungs, and she realized it was part of her fight, her attempt to hold on against whatever she was fighting against.

          “Breathe.”

          The voice was soft, warm, sweet. She heard more in that single word than the word itself. Breathe, let go. There was this strange sense of calm fighting its way over here and a realization of the duality…the oxymorons of life. You have to let go to hold on. Accept death as a part of life, pain as a part of love, to love and be loved meant being vulnerable and risking the pain that came with it. To be lost, to be found. To be seen and heard you had to reveal yourself.

          Eddi inhaled. Releasing all the tension she felt as she exhaled. Sometimes giving up and giving in wasn’t the same as accepting defeat. Let the walls fall down. The small girl hiding in a dark closet still hid deep in her heart. Protected from all threats, fears. She saw herself clearly now. How she still hid. Only cracked the door a little bit every now and then to let light in, to let a sliver of herself out. When things got hard it was easy to retreat. She wasn’t going to allow herself to get lost in the darkness of her mind again. The thoughts that had plagued her through her adolescence, still hiding and echoing in the recess of her mind. Haunting her.

          She didn’t want her pain or torture to burden anyone else, she didn’t want anyone to see her darkness, feel her pain. The fear that her brokenness would cause her to break others. That she didn’t know how to love without breaking or being broken. Her shame, that she either deserved what she got or that she was unfixable, scarred for life. If she was truly seen could she be truly accepted and loved. She thought she could love from afar. Chose to be loved for the person she showed. Flashes of childhood memories. Bursts of moments of hope, shadowed by her own insecurities and fear. She’d never be free. She’d never truly love, be loved. She’d never truly live…

          Scotty’s voice telling her to open up and let others in. The way she fought waves of emotions in her life. An attempt to control and limit the brutality of life. Now she could see moments where she attempted to brave them. But how she hadn’t allowed herself to truly, wholly face them and overcome all the things she allowed to hold her back. Fear, failure, insecurities, self-worth… she exhaled, letting go of the darkness she clung on to like a cloak, trying to hide her weakness, her vulnerabilities…realizing they were just another part of her. There was strength in letting go. Beauty in the breakdown. Let go, to hold on.

          Eddi inhaled.

          “Open your eyes.”

          Jasper eyes stared back at her. In their depths Eddi saw herself, saw the universe. Electricity rippled. Light danced. Her body buzzed, vibrated, felt as though her cells were all finding a certain frequency, tune, melody…a song…emotions seemed to burst through her like fireworks erupting, lighting through her mind. The song of the universe coursing through her.

          “There’s beauty in the breakdown…” the clarity and understanding of how easy it was to get lost in our own little tragic lives, to be consumed and disconnect, disengage. But if we truly open our eyes in the breakdown and see the beauty of life, of the universe, the connection that holds all of it together, with will and purpose. συνίστημι.

          Never before had she seen such beauty, such grace…she saw the pain and the brokenness, the way it was shaped and molded…melded together with a beautiful golden light with such intention and purpose. The grace that shone through the pain, the hurt, the brokenness…building connection in love and understanding. There weren’t words in the universe to describe what she was seeing, experiencing…all she knew is in that moment she had perfect clarity of the broken…redeemed masterpiece of life.