keptoabysmal

[keptoabysmal]

[keptoabysmal]

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

[keptoabysmal]

Tonight's mood:

(Thank you, Mr. Worf.)

[keptoabysmal]

every day i wake up and trump is trying to stop brazil from doing something brazilian

[keptoabysmal]

It literally makes me feel like I'm losing my mind that almost no one in the global north on here will speak about, or even react to, the fact that the US is literally funding Israeli owned death traps for starving families.

The United States and Israel have made it impossible for all actual aid to enter Gaza. Then, private contractors from the United States created the Gaza Humanitarian Foundation (GHF), with Israeli support, to "take over" aid distribution. They are preventing aid distribution by all humanitarian groups in Gaza that distribute aid in coordination with the U.N., and replacing them with GHF. These GHF sites are set up in collaboration with Israeli military to lure in starving families and gun them down.

[keptoabysmal]

two million people starving to death because it's geopolitically convenient and we're all expected to go about our day normally like the casual cruelty on display for the past two years has been so insane to me like i'm not even trying to make a point it's just truly something i can't wrap my mind around

[keptoabysmal]

who up mementoing they mori

[keptoabysmal]

you would not have guessed, or even think, someone like mumbo jumbo—the big gaming, minecraft in fact, youtuber, has a computer setup that can be boiled down to him carrying an imac around and playing minecraft in airbnbs.

insane

why are you like this mumbo

[keptoabysmal]

[keptoabysmal]

So excited for cleo and martyn proper team up

[keptoabysmal]

[keptoabysmal]

Kinda in love with the idea that different places on other sides of the world can look so similar. Something something universal human experiences

[keptoabysmal]

I love when people take their plushes places and take pictures it's my favorite shit YES girl take Snoopy to those seaside cliffs YES take your handsewn frog to a waterfall

[keptoabysmal]

[keptoabysmal]

I need to make a counter for how many shirtless men im going to see this series in fanart because of that fucking hot tub

[keptoabysmal]

"the birth of the red king", 2021 colorized

[keptoabysmal]

Prepare for trouble!

(when they just too team rocket core and u just have to do it

(also i think they all meowth