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it's getting too warm outside. I may need to intervene

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[kessleragain]

Sometimes when you’re raised hearing that showing love is bringing out a cold drink when someone’s out in the heat or unwrapping the burger for the driver when you’re a passenger… you find yourself outside at 1am checking for the good parking spot for your wife when she’s getting home from work.

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hate when I'm trying to just take a normal drink but it turns out I'm thirstier than I thought so I end up gulping it down like a goddamn cartoon characer. the indignity of water lust.

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love getting really into a book to the point where it affects the way i view the world around me. someone pissed me off today and my first thought was ‘well they wouldn’t survive the court of henry viii’

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Kitchen, 3am

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Have you guys heard of cats. They're great.

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Is that food I smell?

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your “loyal and virtuous” knight is doubting the cause he pledged his very soul to 🫵😂

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[attempting to flirt] if i was stuck in a timeloop id desperately explain my situation to you every single reset

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saying this as someone who realized recently i miss people's art on the regular even if they posted it only 4hs ago UNLESS THEY REBLOG IT FREQUENTLY.......................pls reblog your own shit more than once, i'm missing out on good food. no more self-rb shame in this fast-paced world for creatives out there

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Jesus Christ I have JUST realized that women use FTM to mean full time mom on the app I use to find recipes. I was like WHY ARE SO MANY TRANS PEOPLE MAKING MEDIOCRE PASTA DISHES!?

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why did i just see a clothing ad that said "shorts are having a renaissance" yeah it's called it's fucking summer. are you stupid.

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my most boomer ass take is that i hate when i unmute a video of a cat and its just the most obnoxiously loud pop music playing over it. bro put that shit away i'm here to listen to your cat. i wanna hear what he has to say.

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