Text
i hope whoever actually shot that CEO is having a good day.
66K notes
·
View notes
Text
Security alert: Your orb was pondered from a new location
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
"I don't wanna bother you"
Have you considered that this is how your presence feels?

43K notes
·
View notes
Text
I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.
122K notes
·
View notes
Text
Not one of the most important pieces of evidence against intelligent design, but maybe the one I think about the most frequently, is lead. It's wild that there's a substance that's incredibly easy to obtain even at rudimentary levels of technological development and incredibly easy to work with and incredibly useful for a huge range of purposes and it also poisons and kills you but very slowly! And this is only relevant to humans because other animals can't smelt ore. God's buck wild for this one
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
"we don't have girl talk, we have creature talk," my roommate Julia just said while rolling on the floor, "put that on your fucking tumblr, they'll love that shit"
168K notes
·
View notes
Text
When a fic doesn’t fit my head canons but it’s well-written

113K notes
·
View notes
Text
Shout out to the USA for pissing Canadians off so bad it flipped an entire election that was supposed to be a landslide for the center-right, forever in your debt o7
136K notes
·
View notes