kickasswireup - Tumblr blog

[kickasswireup]

pros: it would most likely vastly improve my life in a multitude of ways

cons: might get scared

[kickasswireup]

[kickasswireup]

every time i ask people if they do any new years resolutions its all ooooo i dont like making them bc i fail or ohhhhh no i couldnt keep up wiht that and then when they ask me and i tell them about Pasta Quest (i am eating as many different pasta shapes as possible in the space of a year) or when i did Fruit Adventures (every time i saw a fruit i had never eaten before id get one and eat it and read the wikipedia article about it) theyre like hang on i forgot you can make Fun Ones i want a fun one

[kickasswireup]

Make this your New Year’s Resolution. I promise it will pay off.

[kickasswireup]

You cannot live alone on the fantasies you feed to your mind, eventually you have to touch your life for real, assess and analyze your habits, understand your character, try not to hate yourself for your character as it was shaped when you were very young by circumstances outside of you, and begin learning how to cope with your character, how to build habits that work for you, finish small projects, finish big projects, expose yourself to more uncomfortable situations, assess why you want to leave that friendship before you leave it, raise your anxiety levels on purpose, so that you can grow, raise your work load on purpose, so that you can grow, so that you can build resilience, so that your life expands, and can be experienced by you in full and in reality

[kickasswireup]

oh fuck *falls back into old habits* *screen fades to black* *level loading* TIP: your belief that you are incapable of changing for the better will become a self fulfilling prophecy if left unchallenged

[kickasswireup]

My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."

He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."

He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"

I did.

"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."

It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.

So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.

[kickasswireup]

[kickasswireup]

fuck i hate that i have to say it but theatre kids have it like 80% figured out. go do whatever 'stupid' 'embarrassing' 'cringe' thing you wanna do. worst case scenario you biff it and maybe it gets brought up at parties for a while. best case you end up living your most authentic life

[kickasswireup]

[kickasswireup]

[kickasswireup]

carl sagan said in contact that one measure of a relationship's intimacy is in how many of each person's sub-personas can see and commune with each other. and that hit. do you wanna see if our inner children want to play together 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[kickasswireup]

the establishment fears this.

[kickasswireup]

[kickasswireup]

[kickasswireup]

Replacing "I dont want to live" with "i dont want to live like this" was v helpful for me because it helped me figure out what parts of my life i was trying to escape and reminded me there are absolutely versions of myself i want to work towards and ways of living i havent experienced yet that i want to see

[kickasswireup]

i was trying to collect more shitty ms paint doodles we all use and vibe with and then i realize i also have ms paint and can just MAKE some