kidscoffeewine-blog

[kidscoffeewine-blog]

Deep thoughts: COVID inspired

Things started to sink in when I knew I wouldn’t see my sister for at least 14 days. I was planning on hunkering down with my parents, my two small children (2 and 5), and my sister who just flew in from Vietnam. Long story short, the kids and I are now on our own.* 

*My ex is nearby and can help too. More on that later. 

Back to things sinking in:

On Monday night I announced to my two small children that there would be no more food waste. “If you ask for it, you eat it.” This was after my two-year-old threw her peas on the floor. Picked them all up, then threw them on the floor again. Then cried. Then picked them all up again. 

My kids asked for milk. As I poured, all I could think of was, “How many more glasses of milk do we have before we run out?”

My kids used the bathroom. I might have freaked out when I found a mound of toilet paper in the toilet bowl (so large a mound that most of it was above the waterline) and my son still asked me to wipe him. How did he not use any of that toilet paper for what it is intended to do???

I started rationing laundry detergent.

This must be the way my grandparents were during the depression--constantly rationing. Constantly finding multiple uses for something before throwing it away. Constantly repairing things instead of throwing it away. Really, this virus is a god-send for the environmentalists. What better way for people to stop wasting, traveling, eating out, spending money on dumb shit, than to completely crush the economy and people’s lives with a highly contagious virus. (I might not get any friends for writing that down.) 

Of course I don’t want anyone to get it. Of course I would rather us learn these lessons in a more constructive way. But here we are. We can’t continue our normal way of life. We’re forced to re-evaluate everything we buy and do, everywhere we go, who we see, how we say hi, how we work, how we study, and how we survive. 

I know I’m incredibly lucky. I’m a teacher. I’m currently on spring break for the next two weeks, so I have time to get used to this “new normal” before teaching 4th and 5th graders online while simultaneously “teaching” my own children and trying to keep them alive. I’m incredibly lucky to still get a paycheck throughout this. I’m incredibly lucky to live in Hawaii. Getting stuck in Hawaii for spring break--worse things could happen--even with the added part of not going anywhere my kids can touch other human beings.

I also know that even with all these luxuries, I am struggling. I also know that I want to be there for others. I hope this thread might be of help to someone. If not, at least it’s a great way for me to write out my demons.