kiittyharper-blog
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kiittyharper-blog · 8 years ago
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theartistextrodinaire:
Even attempting to put this into the scenario he’d created seemed ludicrous but it was at least out and in the open. Whether or not Kitty was actually going to go along with this remained to be seen but at least she was here. He knew he’d missed her but actually having her back made him feel even worse for how he’d behaved. She deserved so much more than his sniveling cowardice.
But when she took his hand something had finally clicked. Not that he wasn’t aware of it. Clearly they were in this position because of his feelings. All he needed was to not lose his nerve now.
“I uhh … I think you’re r-right.” He spoke softly, squeezing her fingers lightly against his own. “He probably is overthinking a great deal. I guess uhh … “ He paused for a moment, letting her words sink in a little more deeply. What was he supposed to tell her? The truth? There wasn’t ever a time that Wylan ever tried more than a sly fib with Kitty. And even then he’d already given himself away despite what would come out of his mouth. 
“No.” The word was out of his mouth before he could even stop himself. He was sure that by now the charade was up. “No, I’m not okay.” He spoke more surely. Wylan scooted his chair across the floor so they were closer together. He didn’t want to cower away from her anymore. It hurt too much and whether or not something would ever come of them, she was his best friend first and foremost. That meant more to him than anything ever would.
“I should have asked you to come with me to the party.” His throat was dry and he was certain that he was going to sweat through every piece of clothing before he’d finished speaking. “I didn’t … well I guess I wasn’t expecting …” Wylan stopped himself before he sputtered into a complete downward spiral. 
“What I’m trying to say is that I was jealous.”
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Jealous. The word hung between them. At first Kitty wasn’t sure how to react, how ought one react when such a word is used with a face like that. She looked he looked no different than a lost puppy. She felt a twinge, her teeth caught her bottom lip and like that she had risen from her seat, so distant from him, to sit beside him. Naïve, yes, but Kitty was not obtuse, her inability to believe that Wylan meant what he said in a context beyond friendship lay as a fault of her own insecurities. There was however, an odd little speck of optimism and hope, that perhaps she was not alone in admiring the other.
“Jealous?” She quizzed, voice still hardly above a whisper. “You are my best friend Wylan…” Kitty nudged his shoulder with her own as if to emphasise the fact. Their hands still very much intertwined. The warmth of his palm had brought a flush to her cheeks, embarrassed by how much she liked it. “Han, Han is just a friend. I invited him because we were cleaning out the greenhouses…” With the rain as it was, slugs tended to turn inward bounds towards the leafy, if not a little vicious, plants. “I’m sorry…I should’ve told you, I thought the three of us could go together…” Kitty trailed off.
She ran over every possible scenario in her head, every reason that she could fathom that Wylan could potentially have for jealousy. Kitty couldn’t bear to get her hopes up. Not after it had been so long, the unspoken had always been there. Foolishly she’d kept thinking it was mutual, that Wylan might do something, but they were sixteen now and none the closer.
“I prefer you to Han, you’re irreplaceable Monsieur Peakes,” she teased.
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sweet melancholy | 001
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kiittyharper-blog · 8 years ago
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theartistextrodinaire
It’d been quiet, so very quiet anywhere else but inside Wylan’s mind. Every moment there was a constant nagging, something that turned his stomach over and over. He knew he had no right but he couldn’t help but feel the jealousy still very fresh. He wasn’t any good to her like this. He wasn’t even sure he’d been good for her at all. Being so enamored by her and just expecting … not even really expecting but just wanting. He had to have gotten something wrong somewhere. Until he could curb this knot dwelling in his guts he just couldn’t.
That night he finally took the time to start to think of what he needed to tell her. Kitty had been the only person he’d ever invested himself into and she’d made him better for it. Until the Slug Club party he thought they both bettered one another. Surely that was still true. He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten until that faint but urgent sounding voice drew him from his thoughts.
Wylan looked at her as if she held all the world in her hands. To be truthful she had his right in her palm, despite him being stubborn that was still true. His lips pressed together for a moment, wanting to explain himself right then and there. And when she said she missed him, his eyes fluttered shut and a shaky sigh escaped his otherwise tight lip. 
“I ..uhm … I’ve been …” What was he supposed to say? It wasn’t her fault and he needed to be careful with what he said. If he screwed this up … he’d never forgive himself. “I needed to help the prince of the Kelpies.” If he was going to explain this to her he had to find a way to talk to her like they always had. Perhaps it’d be easier in that way. “He … well he had some trouble. Some troubling thoughts he wasn’t sure how to deal with.” Wylan slowly sat forward in his seat, his arms stretched and he quickly clasped his hands over her’s. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. He just … he thought that … there’s this girl and … well.” He paused a moment, seeing how tired her eyes were. Even her cheeks gave way that she was exhausted. “He messed up real bad and he’s not sure how to make it up to her.”
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Kitty bowed her head, the soft look of distress in his eyes discomforted her in a way she’d never been able to express verbally. For so long she had taken his companionship for granted, bumps had never come quite as big as this, arguments were short-lived, about pointless and silly topics. The way she parted her hair, colours suitable for a painted dragon or even, what flavour of pie was best. Kitty stood firm that a combination of apple and pear was winning. This, felt infinitely worse. There was no breaking from it with easy smiles or gentle laughter, she wasn’t even sure what had incurred it in the first instance.
The soft lilt of his voice, the timidly quiet whisper of his explanation come story, warmed her heart sweetly, the hand over hers was warm. Hesitantly, she turned her palm over so that her finger-tips would run along the inside of his palm, until she clasped his fingers with her own. “You can tell me,” she murmured. “About—about the prince of the Kelpies.”
“From what you’ve said,” she heard herself say, only half aware that she was talking about the fictitious world he had created. “The prince should talk to her, explain, I don’t know what he has done…but surely she would understand?” Kitty wondered, they did this sometimes, bordering the tight line between fantasy and reality, existing somewhere in-between. Unusually, she couldn’t read him. There weren’t any tell-tale signs that Wylan was airing his thoughts in their round-about manner.
Part of her wanted to believe it, that Wylan had been caught up elsewhere that not spending time with her had never been his intention. She lightly dug the toe of her freshly polished shoes against the floorboards, silence catching up with her fast. “Are you okay?”
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sweet melancholy | 001
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kiittyharper-blog · 8 years ago
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sweet melancholy | 001
The lights had burned to ash in the library, Kitty took it as a sign that she should pack up and return to the tower. Her arms bundled with books and wand gripped tightly to effortlessly levitate the rest back, she trudged through the castle until the walls narrow and chill grew virulent. After dark, there weren’t many students lingering in the common room, she’d have paid no mind as to who remained if it weren’t for one familiar.
She blinked through the haze of her exhaustion to make sure it was really him. Since the slug club party Wylan had been absent, the lack of her artist had left a gaping hole in her daily life and she wasn’t even sure what had driven him away in the first place. Nerves got the better of her, nearly sending her shooting up the stairs to the girls’ dormitory, but Kitty had to know.
Timidly, she stepped her way across the common room and sat across from him, the books made a soft audible thud as she released them. “Wylan…” Tired blue eyes regarded him, “please don’t go,” she whispered. The fidgeting began before Kitty was even aware, her fingers looped through each other, nails dug red crescent moons into her palms. “Please…I’ve missed you—where’ve you been?”
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kiittyharper-blog · 8 years ago
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kiittyharper-blog · 8 years ago
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“The world is full of nice people. If you can’t find one then be one.”
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kiittyharper-blog · 8 years ago
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