These posts may be concerning, but don't worry about me. I'm in no physical danger, this is just a vent blog. In case anyone sees this uhh tw for self harm, ns//f/w stuff, and eating disorder stuff
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I just want to fade away from everything, everyone seems so intent on moving forward and I just can't keep up anymore
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what do I jave to do to not be seen as some attention seeking, dirty, lazy liar by my mom
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Every time I think I have something I feel like I have a chance and it gets yanked away. Rug pulled out from under me. How many more times am I going to fall for it
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What was going through my mom's mind when she told me it's my fault we live in a hotel like what was her thought process why would she say that to me and why did she expect that to be in any way comforting
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Drawing monster dick to distract myself from my hellish reality
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GRRR WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ABANDON OUR FAMILIES. WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE AT 18 AND BE TOTALLY SELF-SUFFICIENT AND ALONE WE'RE NOT!!! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER WE'RE SUPPOSED TO COOK AND SING AND MAKE THINGS BUT THE 50S CONVINCED EVERYONE AROUND ME THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO THROW OUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS IN RETIREMENT HOMES TO ROT AND KICK OUR CHILDREN OUT AT 18 TO DO GOD KNOWS FUCK WITH OUR LIVES. FUCK INDIVIDUALISM I FUCKING HATE IT!! NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT EACH OTHER WE"RE TAUGHT THAT WE NEED TO ABANDON OUR SICK AND OLD AND TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES CONSTANTLY WITH NO HELP AND NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING HELL I'M GOING CRAAZY. I WANT TO BASH MY FUCKING HEAD INTO A WALL EVERY TIME MY FRIEND SAYS THEY DON"T OWE ANYONE SHIT. I'M NOT MAD AT THEM I'M MAD AT THE FUCKED UP CIRCUMSTANCES THAT LED THEM TO THINK THIS WAY
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Keep thinking about how my friend says they don't owe anyone shit and they can only trust themself and like honey I love you so much but you are FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG OH MY GOD DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF
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I'm about to go insane capitalism fucking RUINED the west's idea of what a family's supposed to be
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its' got to be my mfault thats why momsso mad at me all the time
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it's my fault we're in here. mom said so. this placeis rotting and it's lmy fault isn't it
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