killerwhale47

[killerwhale47]

[killerwhale47]

truth is stranger than fiction

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Parichay (1972) dir. Gulzar

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Chris Marker, Letter from Siberia, 1957

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🥀Exquisite Urdu Words

A list of thirty of my favourite Urdu words

Aab-o-Taab: Glory, brightness

Aab-shaar: Waterfall; in poetry, can be used to refer to tears

Afsoon: Magic, sorcery

Aziyyat: Torment

Baad-e-Saba: Morning breeze

Darakht: Tree

Fitnah-pardaazi: Machination; a treacherous or hostile scheme

Faaqa: Starvation

Fardaa: Tomorrow

Gulposh: Adorned or covered with flowers

Khaufzada: Terror-stricken

Khwabeeda: Dreamy

Mashq: Practice, exercise

Mausiqui: Music

Mehr-o-Mah: Sun and moon

Nasheman: Nest; often used to refer to 'home'.

Nawaazish: Kindness, generosity

Parwaaz: Flight

Raqs: Dance

Rauzan: Window

Sabaat: Permanence, stability

Shafaq: Red glow at sunset

Shagufta: Blossoming, flourishing

Sharar: Spark

Shora-e-Kiraam: Gathering of poets

Swaaneh-Umri: Biography

Talkh: Bitter

Teergi: Darkness

Tishnagi: Thirst; a strong desire or longing

Vasl: Passion

[killerwhale47]

the internet HAS been turned into a series of easily swallowable pills for quick consumption and standardization and I don't think it's 'boomery' to discuss how the internet no longer feels like a wild wild west and has been massively gentrified for quick access to anything you could ever want or need and that next hit of dopamine. there is a difference between 'social media bad' and 'our experiences online are increasingly manufactured by algorithms looking to make money from scraping metrics of data about who we are to either sell us stuff or sell who we are to people who will sell us stuff'

[killerwhale47]

On Siblings

My brother exists as an antithesis of me. When I told him this, he accused me of being a narcissist. I can’t blame him. I did reduce his existence to simply being “not me” and accused him of being “not me” to prove that he is in some ways, better than me. 

Ever since we were little, we have been the polar opposites of each other. I guess you develop certain contrasting personality traits when you have to fight for your parents’ attention from a very young age. He loved math, I loved english. He was more attached to our mom, I was more attached to my dad. He hated going to school, I hated coming back home. So I didn’t feel completely crazy when this morning I told him that he is the anti-matter. He exists as a contradiction to my entire personality and I had no control over it. I’ve been with him for 19 years and I just noticed it, probably an oversight on my part but it feels better to say it out loud now. I don’t know what to infer from this observation apart from the fact that somehow we still get along. I hate his guts but I can’t imagine a life where he is no longer criticizing everything I do and telling me exactly how fucked up I am because I make everything about myself, and proving himself right when I tell him that he exists in ways in which I don’t want to. 

[killerwhale47]

An Intimate Inability

Lately, well for the past several years, I have been feeling quite inconsistent with the way I feel about people. These people happen to belong to the same decrepit and charming gender. It’s like when you were a kid and you asked your mother to buy you the Happy Meal because you wanted the toy, but then when you had to choose the toy you wanted, it always ended with your mother telling you that you’re taking too long. When you weren’t given the choice altogether, it ended in disappointment. She might want to tell the 9 year-old you that your choices are inconsequential, that a Happy Meal toy isn’t going to satisfy your curiosity or hold your attention for any longer than the time it took to dismantle the toy once you get home. But she knows that someone like you, young and naive could never understand what it means for something to not have a meaning. To a child, everything had a meaning. Your father yelling at you because you spilled tea on his white shirt had a meaning, your best friend not wanting to eat lunch with you anymore had a meaning, your mother loving your brother more than she loved you had a meaning, and people in your life, those people, they always had a meaning. People were supposed to surround you like an infested blanket and give you whatever bacteria they had. My mother told me that every friend I would ever have in my life should serve a purpose. If they don’t have a purpose, they shouldn’t be there. Life should not have to go on with people who don’t serve a purpose for you. But that’s the weird thing about adulthood, purpose isn’t really something that people seem to have, or be good at. I have a hard time believing that any of my friends truly like me. Why would they? It’s not like I serve a purpose in their lives. I am there. That’s all that I do. I am pretty sure that if even for a day I stop being there, they would not like me as much as they do now. That’s the thing about Happy Meal toys, no matter your choice, no matter the toy, at the end of the day, nothing means anything. 

[killerwhale47]

John Brosio - Dinosaurs Eating CEO (2013)

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I just want to have a purpose

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Cosmopolis (2012) dir. David Cronenberg

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White Oleander (2002)

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Danser autour du pendule de Foucault et s’aimer au Planétarium

Museum Scene au Griffith Observatory dans La La Land de Damien Chazelle (2016)

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new york city enthusiast 

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181022 Taehyung’s Tweet

(dreams come true!!) JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT(Andy Warhol)& EGON SCHIELE(Gustav Klim)#FONDATIONLouisVuitton

[killerwhale47]

181022 Taehyung’s Tweet

(dreams come true!!) JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT(Andy Warhol)& EGON SCHIELE(Gustav Klim)#FONDATIONLouisVuitton