kingofstink

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Woont ye have brown bread a-put ye,

An' some vinny cheese a-cut ye?

-William Barnes

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Brouwerij Bosteels Deus paired with Cypress Grove Truffle Tremor

Brouwerij Bosteels Deus (Day-OOCE) Flanders, Belgium 11.5% 

Deus truly is the Champagne of Beers.  TBC...

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Boooooooom!!

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Bele Casel Prosecco paired with Parmigiano-Reggiano

Where to start with this one?  It’s awesome, totally fucking awesome…

Have you ever heard the phrase “You don’t make friends with salad?” Well, this is the exact opposite of that phrase.  If you show up to a dinner party with a wedge of freshly-cut Parmigiano-Reggiano, you will be a hero…the exact opposite of the person who brought the salad.  There isn’t a cheesemonger in the world who doesn’t absolutely adore this cheese or hold it in high reverence.  It’s at the threshold of the pinnacle of human existence.  Its uses are endless.  Its esteem beyond reproach.  Its value…undeniable.  Its girth…legendary! Often imitated, never duplicated.  I’ve never met a wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano I didn’t like.  

  The Cheese

Parmigiano-Reggiano aka The King of All Cheeses (Emiglia-Romagna, Italy Cow’s Milk,)

If you don’t know the story of Parmigiano-Reggiano, I am about to tell you the abridged version.  The recipe dates back to Roman Times.  There are approximately 500+ producers of Parmigiano-Reggiano that belong to the Consorzio del Formaggio Parmigiano-Reggiano. ��Made in huge 80 pound wheels and aged anywhere from 1-4 years. Parmigiano-Reggiano is made at different times of the year and tastes vastly different depending on a variety of subtle differences instituted during its production.  The variety of savory, complicated yet nuanced flavors present in the moist, refined paste of a wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano is almost untouchable. And, this is the reason its beloved by cheese scholars throughout the ages.  Its uses our endless.  However, my favorite use is as a table cheese.  A good piece of Parmigiano will have a significant granular cow’s milk bite with savory vegetal overtones and a complex-nuanced butter-nutty-sweetness finished with a piquant, yet balanced, sharpness that lingers on the palate.  It is my go-to cheese.  This cheese can almost universally be eaten with any beer or wine.  It goes especially well with sparkling white wines.  And, one of my personal favorites is with Prosecco.

 The Wine

Bele Casel Prosecco DOCG (Veneto, Italy, Prosecco 11.5%)

Once known as Prosecco di Valdobbiadene, this standard example of one of Italy’s most prolific grapes is widely available in the United States, and is a relatively cheap date.  Prosecco, in and of itself, is a pristine, aromatic white grape that is characterized by white peach, pear, apple and an occasional soapy note. There is a minerality that is present in Bele Casel Prosecco, but it is nothing when compared with Champagne.  Its got a leaner and cleaner profile, making it perfect day-drinking.  The perlage, and neutrality, associated with Prosecco makes it a wonderful palate cleanser and allows it to effectively stand up against high-fat dishes.  

 The reason it works…

As the great wine writer Karen MacNeil often reinforces, similar flavors and styles bolster other similar flavors and styles.  This is a quintessential example of this phenomenon.   First, both of these items are traditional farmhouse ideations of the underlying resources in the area, i.e. cow’s milk and prosecco grapes.  There are similar flavors in the finished products of both of these specimens, mainly white fruit with some hay and winter grass.  The bubbles from the Prosecco pair perfectly with the amino acid crunch of the Parmigiano.  The fat from the cheese pleasantly coats your palate, as the bubbles from the Prosecco envelop your taste buds, bringing you to a near orgasmic high.  This pairing is a picnic unto itself.  

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This looks tight!

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Lindeman’s Kriek paired with Brunet

This pairing reminds me of a very decadent dessert.  First, you have the bright fruit of the kriek coupled with the thick, unctuous cream of the cheese.  Fruit and cream are certainly a classic pairing by which I’ve based much of my life on.

 The Cheese

Brunet (Piedmont, Italy- Pasteurized Goat’s Milk)

Despite my earlier statements, this is one of my personal favorite cheeses for a variety of reasons.   First, this product reminds me of living in Italy.  Every time you put a slab of this delicious specimen into your mouth, this cheese takes you directly to the place where it is produced.  Second, this product arrives to the United States in tip-top condition which is sometimes rare for soft-ripened cheeses coming from Northern Italy.   Furthermore, it’s on the rarer side of life when you see a bloomy-rinded style goat cheese such as Brunet.  Ninety percent of all goat cheeses you will come across start out like fresh chevre and go through a natural development from fresh to aged goat cheese, along the way developing character and complexity.  You rarely see goat cheese hit up with a P. Candidum mold (the mold responsible for the “bloom” on brie-style cheeses), rather the rind is left to develop naturally.  Recently, a small group of American producers have been trending towards bloomy-rinded goat cheeses, and some are very good.  Nettle Meadow Kunik instantly comes to mind when I think of this style and type of cheese, although they do add a touch of cow’s milk for texture.  I personally prefer the more traditional version of aged goat cheeses, but this little bastard possesses something delightful.  You might find it strange to know this cheese is considered a bloomy-rinded cheese when there is virtually no “bloom” to be found.  Although this does not look like your typical bloomy-rinded cheese, it is indeed a bloomy-rind cheese.  If you look closely you can see it.  The cheese makers never really give the rind a chance to develop which lends to it squat appearance.  A great Brunet will be retain its youthful vivaciousness present in the chalky core of this tremendous specimen.  The inner paste is clean, youthful, acidic, lemony and fresh-grassy.  The outer paste has that unctuous, languid ooze that every cheese enthusiast loves so much.  The outer paste is definitely reminiscent of sweet cream, butter and hay. The uber-thin outer rind delicately holds the cheese together and gives off hints of earth, and damp straw.  It’s a fun cheese to eat because each layer has so many different things going on.  It’s a never ending parade of flavors and textures.  This cheese is the “nightclub” of cheeses…every time you move to a different area, something totally different is happening.

 The Beer  

Brouwerij Lindemans Kriek (Vlezenbeek, Belgium 4.0%)

If you are reading this, than I would bet a large amount of money you are not a novice to beer.  Needless to say, let me give a very brief synopsis of what a kriek beer is all about. First of all, a kriek falls under the lambic-style category of beers.  Lambics originated in Belgium and, to this day, remain the only style of beer that is still spontaneously fermented.  This means they allow natural yeasts in the air to naturally ferment these products.  Most other types of beer are inoculated with specific cultures of yeast that are specific to the style of beer being made.  That being said, not ALL lambics are spontaneously fermented.  Lindemans is one of those breweries that still believes in spontaneous fermentation.  I’ve heard a very well-renowned beer authority describe a “kriek”-style beer as a “lambic-for-pussies”.  Krieks are always laced with cherries which masks some of its underlying potency.  True lambics are like Philadelphia Eagles fans, but with character and refinement.  Although Eagles fans are the lowest form of human being they have been around forever and fit a certain demographic.  What I mean by this is the fact that they are in-your-face and sometimes hard to swallow.  Just like the worst Eagles fans, true lambics are in-your-face and sometimes hard to swallow. True lambics are very tart and complex. If you’ve never had one, please try a real one from Belgium.  Kriek, the Flemish word for cherry, were originally made as a way to preserve the end-of-the-season cherry fruit harvest by adding it into a lambic.  Add cherries to a lambic and BAM, you have a kriek. True krieks are fermented three times. Once with no fruit, once with fruit, and a third time in a bottler.  Each successive fermentation adds to the finished products depth, flavor profile and alcohol content.  Taking things a step further, these Flemish bastards often mix different “aged” lambics to make a singular batch.  They may take a 3-month, 6-month and 3 year batch and mix them together to get the flavor profile they want.   They are indeed mad scientists.  Lindemans kriek is probably one of the most famous lambics you will find stateside. First, you will notice the color. It’s almost red.  It’s definitely more red than brown, or amber.  On the nose, you can immediately smell the cherry content.  The liquid fizzes almost like a cherry soda.  On the palate, it’s definitely reminiscent of cherries and you get that sour punch on the sides of your tongue and the back of your throat.  Its almost mouth puckering.  But wait!  Take a step back!  What is that you notice in the background?  It’s an underlying caramelly sweetness.  Almost a golden-raisin-y sweetness, coupled with caramelized brown sugar and oxidized granny smith apples.  Wow!  I haven’t seen this much depth since the last Ron Jeremy movie I watched.  

 Why it works…

For me, this pairing always reminds me of going to the Eastern shore and undoubtedly being served a dessert of berries with fresh cream.  That was the dessert I was subjected to no matter what time of year I was there. The berries were always extremely tart and the sweet cream was, well, sweet.  At first bite, it kind of jacked up your palate.  Second bite, you become a little more acclimated to the assault. By the third bite, you were pot-committed and had to go all-in.  That’s exactly what this pairing is all about.   The conveyance of sweet versus sour is apparent on so many different levels it could make your head explode.

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Selles-Sur-Cher with Brampton Sauvignon Blanc

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Brampton Sauvignon Blanc paired with Selles-Sur-Cher

Starting with something simple and elegant, I decided to indulge in the classic pairing of Sauvignon Blanc and goat cheese.  Typically, pairing native products with each other is a good start to finding a pairing that works well.  I've tried many French Sauvignon Blanc's with many French goat cheeses; I know this pairing works well on a variety of levels.  I wanted to stick inside the classic framework but add a South African Sauvignon Blanc to demonstrate how this pairing can be tweaked for all people and all budgets.  

 The Cheese 

Selles-Sur-Cher (Centre, Loire Valley, France- Pasteurized Goat's Milk)

Ever since the Food and Drug Administration cracked down and made it very difficult to get TRUE, unpasteurized French cheeses, it gets harder (and more expensive) to find excellent specimens.  Selles-Sur-Cher is a classic French goat cheese that has been made virtually the same way for hundreds of years.  The goat's milk comes from a single-milking.  It’s then left to acidify and a small touch of microbial rennet is added to the milk.  The cheese is formed into 8-12 ounce pucks and sprinkled with an innocuous vegetable ash.  At one time, these cheeses were sprinkled with ash to protect them from unwanted microbes or parasites, but today the ash is merely cosmetic.  After a specific period of aging (I have been getting mine around the 30-60 day mark) the cheese has lost a considerable amount of weight.  The outside has formed a nice, velvety rind and the interior is adorned with flowing cheese encompassing a chalky-white center.  The texture, or textures, play very well off one another.  The interior-center is reminiscent of a young goat cheese, with tart, lip-smacking acidity and brightness.  While on the contrary, the ripened interior just underneath the rind has developed some complexity with a little funk and just the right amount of herbaceousness.  The rippled rind has more bitterness than one might expect, but does its job well, clinging to the paste and protecting the interior.  There is nothing more unsettling than seeing an improperly cared for goat cheese that looks like a bloated-deflated airbag, leaking its precious interior all over the place.  If you see this at your local cheese shop, grab the nearest cheesemonger in sight and punch him directly in the face. 

 The Selles-Sur-Cher I have been enjoying lately is a pasteurized version that is widely available in the United  States.  It has a lovely flavor and texture.  When ripe, it can be quite good. However, it never quite develops the complexity as its unpasteurized brethren.  When tasting this cheese it is VERY important that you consume an equal part of each "part" of the cheese.  What I mean by this is that the extreme center of the cheese will taste vastly different from the exterior of the cheese.  Try to cut a piece where you can taste all three dimensions, being the center, the ooze and the rind.  It is also important to taste these three dimensions separately, as this will add to your knowledge of cheese and enhance future tasting experiments.  Be sure to hold the cheese up to your nose and smell it, much like you'd do at a wine tasting.  Notice its appearance.  Upon taking it in your mouth, the first thing that hits your palate should be the acidity.  It grabs your tongue by its sides and yells, "What’s up bizzotch!”  Next, you will notice the languid, almost-buttery ooze that accompanies the interior.  The ooze is a sharp contrast to the extreme interior in texture and taste.  You will notice a subtle herbaceousness that plays well against the bitterness of the rind.  The texture of the three different dimensions could be a discussion all its own.  Selles-Sur-Cher is one part chalky, one part oozy, one part crinkly and all parts delicious.  Repeat this tasting enough times to where you feel you could comfortably describe this cheese in a letter to your best friend. 

 The Wine  

Brampton Sauvignon Blanc 2009 (Stellenbosch, South Africa 13.5%)

One of the big 6-7 grape varietals, Sauvignon Blanc is one of those benchmark wines that should be considered in any goat cheese tasting.  I chose this particular wine because, quite simply, it’s good and it’s got a relatively high alcohol content for this style of wine.  It also possesses all of the qualities I look for in a Sauvignon Blanc.  A classic French Sauvignon Blanc is known for its crispness and acidity, as well a myriad of flavors ranging from hay, grass and straw to gunflint and cat urine.  What I like about these newer producers of Sauvignon Blanc is their ability to take these classic flavors and add their own unique interpretation, thousands of miles away from the place these grapes were originally grown.  Although I enjoy the austere, sometimes pedantic French Sauvignon Blancs, I find the value in these New World Sauvignon Blanc's too good to pass up.  (If you don't believe me, pick up a $10 bottle from New Zealand or South Africa.)  But what I really love about this wine is the boldness and intensity.  When you hold this wine up to the light, you first notice the color. I would place it in the straw category with a little lightness around the rim.  The aroma is really the first thing that grabs a hold of you.  Boldly aromatic and intoxicating, the fragrance invites you in for further review.  The strong herbaceousness is complemented by subtle tropical fruit fragrance and mineral notes.  The flavor explosion that happens in your mouth is almost toe-curling.  The acidity immediately grabs a hold of you, making your mouth want to pucker.  Strong grass, tropical fruit, gooseberry and herbs quickly follow suit to envelop your taste buds in a state of gastronomic euphoria.  The medium-bodied nectar leaves your palate feeling slightly refreshed and wanting more.  This wine is exceptionally quaffable and begs to be drank glass after glass.  Crisp and refreshing, for the money, this wine does one heck of a job!

 Why it works…

There really wasn't a lot of doubt before attempting this pairing. I knew it was going to work on some level and it did.  This pairing had two things going for it.  First, it’s a classic combination.  This means that it has been tried and repeated enough times by many people that there is no disputing its validity.  Second, you have the combination of like versus like.  What this means is that dominant flavors in the wine and the cheese complement each other extremely well.  The acidity in the wine and the acidity in the cheese work so harmoniously together they could be starring in a Garry Marshall movie together.  The acidity in the wine opens up the cheese and brings out some of the cheese's muted herbal and mineral qualities and vice-versa.  Enjoying these specimens together really allows you to dig down and really explore the hidden depths of these gustatory wonders.  The juxtaposition of textures adds an alluring backbone to the tasting and invites you to repeat the process again and again.  Trying different parts of the cheese with the wine really shows off the "living" quality of these products and reminds us that great food is just that – a moving target.  Just like most great experiences in life, each is unique to that timeframe.  Try this tasting a year from now and don't expect the same results.  You will pick up on things you didn't notice during this tasting.  The pairing will be good, but the subtle nuances you've just experienced will be completely different.  For example, the milk collected from the goats could have been goats grazing on the other side of the farm.  This would give the milk a different flavor and, to an experienced caseophile, change the entire tasting.  Overall, I would say this was a strong pairing, but not perfect.  Would I serve this to guests at my house?  The answer is yes.  Do I think there is a better goat cheese/Sauvignon Blanc pairing out there?  The answer to that is also yes.  When I re-explore goat cheese/Sauvignon Blanc pairings in the future, I will keep this in mind and learn from it. 

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Ommegang Ale paired with Ossau-Iraty Pyrenees Brebis

This pairing is something of an anomaly.  I’ve found this to be a “loose” fact when pairing beers and cheeses. Where in wine pairing, much like the pairing of Sauvignon Blanc and goat cheese, there is a broader spectrum of what will work, under certain parameters.  What I mean by this is that, under things termed “classic pairings”, there will usually be some harmony in pairing “any” sauvignon blanc with “any” goat cheese. With beer it is different…it is very specific.  For example, try this same pairing with any other Belgian Dubbel and see what happens. I’ve tried this on several different occasions with the same results.  The Ommegang almost seems like it was made specifically for this cheese, while other dubbels or dubbel-styles do not come close to the perfect marriage of these two products.

  The Cheese  

Ossau-Iraty Pyrenees Brebis (Aquitaine, France- Raw Sheep’s Milk)

This cheese is awesome for far too many reasons to list.  It is one of my “go-to” cheeses for just about any occasion. The first point I’d like to make is that this cheese has tradition on its side.  Ossau-Iraty Pyrenees Brebis is made by several different producers in the same geographic location in the French Pyrenees. Using milk of esteemed Manech Ewes, and a few local breeds, the cheese transcends the milk that it is made from.  And, this is what cheese making is all about, making the milk into something great, or even “immortal”.  Pristine sheep’s milk is a thing of beauty and a pristine sheep’s milk cheese is heavenly. It has been made the same exact way for centuries.  The milk is collected and made into approximately 10-12 pound wheels.  I’m not sure if they use an actual ewe’s rennet, or microbial rennet, but my guess would be these producers still use an actual rennet from the animal.  Pyrenees Brebis is usually left to age in caves for approximately 3 months before it is released for consumption.  I prefer my Pyrenees Brebis after about 6 months.  This is the time period when this cheese has had time to transform into something a bit more complex than its younger 3-month counterpart while still retaining some of its youthful soul.  At 6 months, you still get that beautiful, elegant, upfront sheep’s milk taste with hints of butter, hay, sweet cream, and straight-up butterfat. However, the cheese begins to show signs of nuttiness.  I almost describe it as a very mild, hazelnut-y sweetness, and it always finishes with some mixed nuttiness on the palate.  In my opinion, sheep’s milk cheese always has an advantage over all other milks used to make cheese because of its high butterfat content.  Any experienced foodie knows that fat is where the flavor resides and Ossau-Iraty Pyrenees Brebis is packed with a heart-jarring fat content of 55%.  They made need to put a government warning on this cheese that states something like:  “Consult your physician prior to consuming Ossau-Iraty Pyrenees Brebis.  This product may cause night blindness, loss of hearing, and a general sense of euphoria. Those individuals not healthy enough to engage in sexual activity may want to refrain from consuming this product. If your erection lasts more than 4 hours, please seek immediate medical attention.”  This stuff is so good it will definitely make your knees weak.  The mouthfeel on a 3-month old Ossau-Iraty Pyrenees Brebis is pure silk and butter.  It goes to show that you can feed this cheese to anyone, from the novice to the expert, and they will both have a profoundly enjoyable experience. It’s a real crowd pleaser. Virtually all producers of this cheese are capable of providing excellent examples of this cheese.  

The Beer  

Ommegang Abbey Double Ale (Cooperstown, NY 8.5%)

This sensational beer is inspired by the Trappiste-Belgian Style Ales made by monks for decades in monasteries in Western Europe.  Trappiste-Style Ales are thought to be perfected during the Dark Ages and would replace food while monks were fasting for long periods of time.  However, this beer isn’t made by monks.  It is made by Americans…Americans in Cooperstown, NY.  Now, when I think of America, I think of everything bigger, bolder, quicker, faster, etc.  I think this applies to many things in the world of beer, wine and cheese.  Where the Old World holds on to deep-seated tradition, the New World makes things as big and bad as possible.  I think Ommegang falls into this category of bigger and badder.  Notice I didn’t say better.   Also, it’s for this reason I believe Ommegang works in this pairing, and other traditional Belgian Dubbels do not. Ommegang is an intense beverage with a lot going on.  You definitely get the complexity that comes with traditional dubbels, however, there are some flavors that you wouldn’t quite expect.  The color is a rich brown hew with a dark ruby-orange undertow.  Just sitting in a glass, this brew can enliven your olfactory senses from across the room.  Ommegang has a huge nose on it.   The first thing you notice is there is a ton of dried fruit and spice.  That is evident.  You can smell it and you can taste it.  I think the second waves of flavors are pre-eminently caramel and the maltiness from the grain.  Then let your mind go wild!  I sense licorice and fig.  It depends what you’re concentrating on, but this beer can take you to a variety of places. It always makes me think of the holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It’s a big beer that drinks very well in spite of its high alcohol content. In fact, it drinks dangerously well!

Why It Works…

Part of the reason why this pairing works is the high-alcohol content and bubbles which helps cut through the intense butterfat of the Pyrenees Brebis. That is the first thing I taste when I ingest both at the same time.  I’m left with the butterfat on my palate, but at the same time my palate feels cleansed.  Upon deeper reflection, some of the cheese’s underlying nuttiness and sweetness pair beautifully (and perfectly) with the beer’s caramel-elixir-like qualities. The beer brings out some of the more subtle qualities of the cheese’s nuanced hay and grass profile.  The dried fruit is slightly muted in the taste of the beer, but the spice qualities are really brought to the forefront.  With every bite I take I taste something different. I’ve done this tasting over 20 times, probably over a period of 8 years and every time I get something different. And, every time it works. Although the beer and cheese are always made the same way, they are living specimens and are always changing. This fact is important in any beer, wine and cheese pairing you may come across.  Every pairing, I try to do AT LEAST 3 times because if you are using real, artisan products, the pairing will be slightly different every time you do it. The same underlying themes will be there, just a bit different.  Look at it like this, one day a pairing might be like watching Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, the next day it could be like seeing Phantom of the Opera in your local theater.      

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The Bell Curve of Fermented Products

All fermented products possess a living cycle that coincides with a relevant time period in which each product is acceptable to consume.  The length of the life cycle depends on thousands of inter-related factors that were used in the production of each specific fermented product.  It is the integral relationship these vital factors have with each other throughout the entire fermentation process, from idea to finished product, which constitutes the final outcome of each distinct fermented product.  There are far too many factors to list when discussing fermented products in general, but I can narrow things down slightly when discussing beer, wine and cheese.  

For the purpose of this argument we will assume the “producer/maker” of each fermented product is seeking out the best possible/highest quality example of each contributing component used in the production of each distinct fermented product. Every single factor that contributes to the making of any given fermented product is what gives the finished product its final determination of satisfaction for the consumer.  Taste, flavor, and aroma are the most important qualities when choosing any fermented product. Subsequently, they determine each finished product’s position on The Bell Curve of Fermented Products. One should assume that taste, flavor and aroma are carefully monitored at every step of the fermentation process and can be tweaked along the way to garner a better tasting finished product.  In addition to these three factors, there are a variety of definitive components attributable to each specific fermented product.  The important factors to remember about beer include, but are not limited to, water, malt, hops, yeast, temperature control, brewmaster knowledge, aging, sugars, filtration and packaging.  The important factors to remember about wine include, but are not limited to, soil, climate, grape varietal(s), sugar content, aging, wood, vineyard, vinification, vintner knowledge, yeast, filtering, type of fermentation, bottling and temperature.  The important factors to remember about cheese include, but are not limited to, type of milk used, style of cheese, how the milk is gathered, vegetation, cheesemaker knowledge, texture, density, seasonality, packaging and ripeness.  If any of these contributing factors are blemished throughout the fermentation process it could spell disaster for the finished product.  The final piece of the puzzle is how each finished fermented product is “brought” to the public.  Improper packaging, storage and/or transportation could ruin an exemplary finished product.  

According to dictionary.com, “a normal Bell Curve slopes downward from a point in the middle corresponding to the mean value, or the maximum probability of a given statistic.”[1]  Data that reflect the aggregate outcome of large numbers of unrelated events tend to result in bell curve distributions.  The Bell Curve of Fermented Products primarily regards food products made at an artisanal or local level.  The aggregate outcome of multiple tastings of these food products during different seasons and different “life cycles” of ingredients yields many different potential levels of satiety and satisfaction for the consumer, as well as the overall greatness of the finished product.  Correspondingly, each of these products in their own right has the potential for excellence, but enjoying them at their pinnacle of excellence is a different and rare experience.  The curve represents the life cycle of each food product as it goes from birth to death, from left to right.  The life cycle of any given fermented product can last anywhere from a few hours to several centuries, depending on the product.  For example, a freshly made buffalo mozzarella may only be viable for a few hours whereas a fortified wine, such as a sherry or port, can maintain drinkability for centuries.  The pinnacle of excellence refers to a point in the life cycle of a certain food product when no aspect of said product can get any better, or be more satisfying to the consumer.  In short, the item is perfect.  Likewise, on rare occasions you will taste certain food products that have either exceeded or have never begun their life cycle, yielding them inedible.  At the top of the bell curve are food items at their pinnacle of excellence and at the bottom are food items that are inedible.  You can see by this bell curve that over the course of many different tastings you will experience many different things, from inedible to excellent. Most artisanally-made, handcrafted, fermented food products you consume fall somewhere between these two distinct points.  Only once in a great while will things be at their pinnacle of excellence.  It is my personal opinion that more often than not you will find fermented food products closer to inedible.  

As an addendum to The Bell Curve of Fermented Products there is the rather Alighieri-an philosophy of the pinnacle of offensiveness.  The pinnacle of offensiveness states that some fermented products are so offensive and unrefined that they fail to incite any human emotions except for frustration, anger and despair.  These products represent attributes that are the polar opposite of the pinnacle of excellence and these products are most often construed as willful oddities.  There are far too many examples to list here, but most true foodies have their own lists of these gastronomic atrocities.  For people with refined palates, these products are not worth discussing at an academic level and have no valid reference point on The Bell Curve of Fermented Products.  This is why the pinnacle of offensiveness is listed underneath The Bell Curve of Fermented Products.  If this graph was a little larger you would be able to clearly see the Gates of Hell positioned right underneath the pinnacle of offensiveness.  They are not too far apart.

For all pairings in this book, each fermented product tasted should fall somewhere near the pinnacle of excellence.  If the product you are tasting does not reside in the top half of the curve, you should probably not use that specific product for the pairing.  

[1] www.dictionary.com