kingrauru

[kingrauru]

Unfortunately you will talk like a tumblr user for your entire life. Sorry.

[kingrauru]

you know how some people sleep with guns or knives under their pillows for protection? KEEP YOUR KNIGHT IN YOUR BED INSTEAD!! FOR SAFETY REASONS!! THAT'S YOUR LIVING WEAPON!!!! #mylivingweapon

[kingrauru]

i love turning off lights. no need for all that

[kingrauru]

No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny

[kingrauru]

[kingrauru]

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

[kingrauru]

fuck it sure

[kingrauru]

*sniffing you with my antennae* hm. i do not think you are a leafs

[kingrauru]

me when i have a bone to pick Lol idk.. im not really sure which one to choose

[kingrauru]

flirting: omggg haha that amulet is so neat! Do you mind if I hold it?

[kingrauru]

Dear Team, In lieu of our Zoom meeting this afternoon, let’s all agree to wander beneath the trees tonight when the moon is high. Let’s sink our fingers into the soil and send messages via fungi and salamander. If that fails, let’s simply live on, having lost nothing at all.

[kingrauru]

being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok

[kingrauru]

can you take my white ass to funkytown

[kingrauru]

I actually did properly bring the direwolf back but I haven't said anything about it or presented evidence because i'm shy

[kingrauru]

LinkedIn does have internet arguments and they are the funniest things in the world. It almost-- not quite but almost-- makes up for what a miserable fucking experience the site is otherwise

[kingrauru]

How many tumblr blogs do you have?

1

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4

5

6

7

8

9

10

>10

it's complicated/results