kipercrow

[kipercrow]

[kipercrow]

Confession:

When I was in high school I went to a week long summer camp with a group I was a part of. One year, on one of the days I ended up hanging out with some guys outside my normal friend group for a bit. One of the guys was someone I barely knew, but he had this natural trouble-making energy.

Later in the afternoon, while we were waiting outside the camp's cafeteria in the summer heat, I sat down the concrete to take a rest. He came over while no one else was paying attention, sat on my shoulder, then when I turned to look at him he lifted his ass up and ripped the longest, wettest fart I'd ever heard right in my face. He sarcastically said "I'm gonna be in your dreams tonight" and walked off laughing.

I still think about it and get horny to this day, even though this was over ten years ago now >_< Sadly never had another interaction like that with him again, even tho I did see him a few more times.

In your dreams that night and every night since.

Guys like this! Where whether by accident for their pure delight, or because they've recognised you for what you are, give you the tiniest taste. Left forever wondering what they'd have done if you had asked for more.

[kipercrow]

[kipercrow]

Imagine if someone (Person A) joins a new friend group, but they suffer from social anxiety. Everyone in the group is nice, but they soon get overwhelmed during a post-dinner hangout in a noisy public place. They’re desperate for something quieter and more alone, but they don’t want to just leave everyone for the night. They don’t want another instance of being labeled the weird one in a friend group. Suddenly, someone else in the group (Person B) gets up and announces that they’re going for a nice peaceful walk in the moonlight.

The rest of the group readily accepts this, seemingly in on some joke. They’re a little startled when A gets up and hastily asks if they can come along. Some of them even try to say a warning, but B quickly says that it’s OK. If A wants to join, then by all means, they can come along.

A is relieved to finally be away from the noise, and B was already one of the friendliest, most approachable people in the group, so they’re really nice company. B also really knows how to be out of the way of most passersby, so the walk is definitely quiet and relatively undisturbed.

Suddenly, a loud fart rumbles out of B, who looks incredibly relieved.

Only now does B reveal that they regularly need post-meal “fart walks” to help soothe their hyperactive digestive system. As A soon finds out, B’s farts are strong enough to flood even an overstimulating public place, so B has to resort to these solitary walks (which can take up to half an hour to make them fully ready to join the public once more). But they love hanging out with people, so B appreciates A coming along, even if this will likely be the last time.

Soon after that, A does get a reputation as the weird one in the friend group, but only because they loyally tag along with B on every one of their fart walks. Some of the friends even glimpse A deliberately lagging behind B for one or two steps, just enough to be downwind.

[kipercrow]

never stop bisexualing

[kipercrow]

You and your friend are having a sleepover after the buffet, relaxing in ur room after a long day. The both of your guts are bubbling like crazy, and you and your friend are dying for a fart. You sneakily try to position yourself in just the right way to try to silently push out the airy discomfort, and your friend catches you squinting your eyes a little too much. “You’re trying to squeeze out a fart aren’t you..” They say confronting you. The nervousness of getting caught makes it impossible for you to hold back the gas, and it rumbles out of you deeply. God it felt so good, you couldn’t hold back the moan and sighs of relief. Ur friend doesn’t say anything, and begins to get closer to you. They sit right next to you, and begin to pet your head. “That must have so nice right? The one I just let out felt so helpful to my gut too…” They say, sighing comfortably. You see them rubbing their stomach softly as you physically melt knowing you don’t have to worry about masking it. They grab your arm slowly and move your body into a particular yoga position, where you lay on your stomach. God it hits the spot… you feel the gas right at the tip of your colon now. They lay next to you, and begin to squint their eyes tightly, as gas rumbles out of them. “Oh man there we go.. this is the spot..” They said, relaxed. That was your que to start farting too, as fart after fart popped and rumbled out of you. Your body began to really give out, as you melted into softness just from the pure bliss of moving your bowels with this gas. You didn’t notice you’re friend, staring at you, helplessly smiling at how beautiful you look just listening to your body.

[kipercrow]

I just think about how people probably have a really great fart memories and never share them publicly (as is their right)

Like I keep thinking about there has to be 2 people who have had a farting contest in a car and had really great fun and they've just never shared it online

(Also back to missing the IT crew fart off Quora answer story)

[kipercrow]

[kipercrow]

ok yes pausing mid sentence to rip ass is the hottest thing ever. or them pausing YOU - having the audacity to scrunch up their face and hold up their hand mid conversation, just to hike their leg up and groan, cutting loose a long, rippling, fart that drones on and on and on. casually sticking their hand between their muggy cheeks as they blast another round of nasty, hot gas against their fingers, bringing them up for a sniff as they motion for u to go on as if nothing even happened.

[kipercrow]

gaming farts.. i know the concepts done to hell but hrggnh.. imagine sitting but naked in your living room, controller sitting snug between your legs as you freely let it vibrate against your crotch - shamelessly riding into it. letting your nastiest gas bubble out from under you, grinding the warm raunchiness into the couch, not caring as the farts get dangerously hotter, and wetter. you’re lazy, and gross. c’mon! you’re just kindly warming the seat for the next person.

or imagine someone else perched on your lap, straddling you as you try to finish your game – they’re trying to distract you as best as they can by rocking you with the most godawful bubbles from their tummy that sound more liquid than sulphur, whining for you to finish your game so you can get down and tongue their gassy hole already.

[kipercrow]

Michael hitting that turbo boost and stinking up KITT!

[kipercrow]

When men let put the longest grossest/most disgusting fart/burp and then just say a little “scuse me” not like out of politeness just like idk when theyre kinda subtly smug/proud of it🤤🤤🤤

[kipercrow]

Wolf follows in his father's footsteps by doing what I'd like even better (not to mention a certain joke would work better) if it were Beef doing it--beefing up the bathroom!

Episode: "Super Smash Lovers Adventure"

[kipercrow]

✮ content. clark kent x reader. (david corenswet’s clark…). nsfw. oral. needy clark. an. for my favorite oomfie :3

he started slow. always did with you. his mouth soft where it touched your thigh, lips dragging open-mouthed kisses along the inside until you shivered. you were already wet, already aching, but he took his time. he always took his time.

his tongue dragged up the seam of your pussy, unhurried, steady, and he moaned like he could taste how badly you needed it. you gasped. your hips lifted. he pressed you down gently with one hand on your stomach, breath hot against your cunt.

“you’re shaking,” he murmured, voice slightly rough with need.

then he licked you again. deeper this time. tongue slipping through your folds, mouth hot and wet as it worked over your clit. his nose pressed against you, his lips sucked and kissed and spread your slick with messy strokes.

when you moaned his name, he groaned into you.

“fuck—” he said, hips pressing down into the mattress like he didn’t even realize he was doing it. like your voice alone did something to him. he was rutting against the sheets now, soft and desperate.

“clark,” you whined, legs falling open wider. “oh my god, don’t stop—”

he didn’t. he kept going, licking through your slick like he needed it to breathe. then he spat. spread it with his thumb, thick and slow, rubbing circles over your clit while he licked lower again, tongue fucking into you until your thighs trembled.

“taste so good,” he whispered, sounding dazed. “can’t get enough.”

you cried out when he sucked your clit into his mouth again, harder this time. his teeth grazing your skin as your back arched. your hand gripped his hair and pulled, and he moaned loud into your cunt, grinding harder into the bed.

his hand moved from your stomach to between your legs. two fingers slid in easily, your pussy clenching around them right away.

“fuck, baby—” he breathed, voice cracking. “you’re dripping.”

his fingers curled inside you. your walls fluttered around them. the wet sounds were loud, your slick spreading over his hand as he fucked you slow and deep, all while keeping his mouth on your clit.

your orgasm came fast. your whole body tensed, legs shaking around his shoulders. you moaned his name again, voice catching as your head fell back, hips rocking through it.

he didn’t stop. his fingers still moved inside you, dragging it out, his tongue keeping pressure over your clit until your voice went breathless and your thighs shook.

“too much,” you whispered, panting. “clark, i—”

but he was groaning again. and then you felt it. the way his hips jerked against the mattress, the soft gasp against your cunt.

he came in his pants.

you froze for a second. then looked down at him. the tension in his shoulders, the blush creeping up his cheeks, his breath ragged.

“did you just…” your voice trailed off.

he looked up, still between your legs, face wet and flushed, a little stunned. “i—yeah. sorry. i couldn’t… you sounded so good.”

your heart kicked hard in your chest. you tugged him up by the front of his shirt and kissed him, messy and breathless. you tasted yourself on his tongue. he moaned into your mouth.

his jeans were soaked. you could feel the twitch of his cock under the wet denim, still hard, still aching.

“you’re fucking perfect,” you smiled softly, lips brushing his.

“wanna do it again,” he mumbled. “wanna make you come all night.”

[kipercrow]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

[kipercrow]

Yes please!

[kipercrow]

Imagine Person A knocks on Person B's door, wanting to know if B would be open to speaking with them. B would've normally told them no, no solicitors and no to anyone trying to get yoy to join their church or MLM scheme. But something was different about them, something made B let A in, close the door and show them your living room.

A and B would talk about life, and what B's dreams are. It felt like all of the walls B'd normally put up for a stranger came down. The both of them were comfortable with each other, so comfortable in fact that A pushed a deep loud fart into your couch cushions. The two of them begin to laugh, A laughing louder than B. As the two continued to speak, A would let out farts of all sizes.

They'd smile after the bubbly farts, they'd lift their legs for the bassy farts, stand up and walk around to let out the rumbling farts.

After a particularly bassy wet fart, they looked at B and with a big smile asked a particular question. "Will you release with me?" In any other scenario B would've chuckled, rolled their eyes, and got away from this person. But A was different, A made B feel safe, A was funny, smart, and B shouldn't leave their new friend alone. So B lean forward and let out a huge fart.

B didn't need to fart before, B didn't eat anything to make them gassy, and yet here they just let out a fart and B wasn't done yet. Almost as if by A's control B pushed out small fart after small fart after small fart. A's smile grew and grew after each fart that popped out of B. B was confused, where was this gas coming from, and how much did they have left.

A held B's hand and pushed their butt out and started letting out a long growl of a fart. B looked into A's eyes and heard their voice soothe them into comfort. The confusion and anxiety passing by as the small farts from B started growing into longer farts, soon A and B were farting in unison.

A was a member of a fart cult, that used supernatural powers to give their recruiters gas. B had just been succesfully recurited and A and B began letting rip bassy farts that would surely peel the paint in the surrounding room. Tomorrow B would be tasked with recuriting someone new with A, and they knew exactly the type of person that would let them inside their home.