kiritella - Tumblr blog

kiritella · 3 months

Text

please

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: bit of angst, bit of fluff. sweet ending per usual.

words: 1179

notes: "iM gOnnA WrItE a fiVe SenTenCE dRaBblE". i mean. we all should have seen this coming. thank you in advance for reading, i hope you enjoy this! as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome and so appreciated. let me know what you think!

“Your bed is so much comfier than mine, can I sleep here tonight?”

It’s quiet for a long moment as you make yourself even cozier in Bucky’s bed, nuzzling into the pillow that smells just like him. It is comfier here. And you feel safe as sleep starts to nip at you. It's late, the lights are already out from when Bucky started the movie still playing on the screen, and you know you are both tired - that's why you're already in lounging clothes, having decided to stay in at his place tonight instead of going out to dinner like you'd originally planned. It'd been a long week, as if the mission hadn't been rough enough, the paperwork that's followed has been hell to get through.

All you wanted was a nice night with your boyfriend, and now that you're this comfortable and content, the last thing you want is to move, the leave and have this peace be over as you walk back over to your place. Your bed is a lot colder, and in truth what makes his so comfy is simply his presence.

Even when he's quiet, it's...

Wait, he's still quiet.

You turn your head to look at him as he sits at the foot of his bed. He looks anxious and you suddenly feel your stomach twist. What were you thinking?

You've talking about this before, the night after you first slept together. You'd fallen asleep in his arms and woke up feeling incredible, only to have your heart drop to your stomach when you realized you were alone and Bucky was nowhere to be found... Until you found him on your couch, dark circles under his eyes from no sleep and an apology falling from his lips the second he saw you, sitting up to explain. Nightmares, terrors, he didn't want to get into but wanted to explain why he'd left you alone. He didn't want to risk waking you up to that. You understood, and you'd broached the subject of staying the night a few times since then just to see where he was at, but never pushed. You trusted he'd let you know when he felt ready for it.

But now look at you, pushing without even thinking.

You sit up, a little too suddenly, and Bucky’s head whips to you. The anxiety in his eyes shifts to fear as he meets your embarrassed gaze.

You open your mouth to take it back, to apologize, but he beats you to speaking.

“No, no, no,” he rushes, unthinkingly urging you back down on the mattress as he leans over you; your eyes widen and you let him touch you. It’s a rushed movement, but gentle all the same as he eases you to lay back.

His face is inches away from yours and for a second you forget everything but the gleaming blue of his eyes and the soft plumpness of his lips.

“Stay,” he breathes, “I want you to stay.”

You swallow thickly, finding your throat dry. “Are you sure? I didn’t mean to-“

“I’m sure. I've wanted to ask you for a while, I just… I’m not the most peaceful sleeper,” he says shamefully. "I really don't want to scare you away."

It physically hurts to hear his unease. You want so badly to take his worry away, to show him he has nothing to be scared or ashamed of.

“Nothing you do could ever scare me away."

You can tell just by looking at him that he doesn't believe it, and you don't know how to make him.

You reach a hand to move the strand of hair that's fallen from behind his ear back out of his face before you hold his cheek lightly. You lean up as he leans down and brush your lips against his before you really kiss him, carefully - soft and slow.

"You're always there for me," you murmur, "I wanna be here for you, too." You card your hand though his hair as he lets his forehead fall against yours, his eyes closed in contentment at the feeling before he sighs and sits back.

You watch him for a moment, you can still sense his trepidation...

"You can say no, Bucky," you tell him gently.

He looks at you again, his brows furrowed ever so slighty and a small pout on his lips. "I don't wanna say no. I want you to stay and I want... I want to be normal for you."

Your eyes burn and your throat gets tight as you watch his bright blue eyes blink furiously as he looks away from you again. You sit up all the way and reach for him, turning his head so he's looking you in your eyes.

"Don't do that," you say, doing your best to keep your voice from wavering. "There is no such thing as normal, Bucky. And even if there was, I wouldn't want it. I mean who cares about normal anyway?"

He looks pained as he holds your hand in hand and it's quiet again for a beat.

"I know you don't wanna say no, but you won't be hurting me if you need to."

He doesn't look up from your hand in his, only squeezes it in response.

You smile softly, taking the gesture as his admission that he isn't ready yet, and move to get up off the bed again, only to be stopped by Bucky once more.

"You wanna stay?"

"Only if you want me to," you murmur.

He looks at you, really looks, like he's searching for some sign, something in your eyes that'll give away that you want an escape, that you really want to go. He finds nothing, because it's the last thing you'd ever want.

"Will you lay down with me?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, you almost couldn't hear him over the movie still playing on his television in the background.

"Of course," you say simply as you once again allow him to lay you back down. He joins you this time, slowly laying himself down next to you. When you get comfortable again, he turns into you, and ever so slowly, moves to rest his head on your chest as he lays on his side, hugging himself to you.

It's delicate. One of those moments you know you'll look back on over and over, one you'll always treasure, seeing him feel safe enough with you to be this vulnerable, this soft.

The silence is anything but uncomfortable as you run the fingers of one hand through his hair, massaging away his tension as he relaxes further into you.

"Can I tell you something?" his voice sounds deeper already as he speaks.

"Anything."

"Lately, the only time I can ever manage to fall asleep, is when I picture you here with me." His breathing is getting deeper as he nuzzles into you and you hold him tighter as you push down your rising wave of emotions at his confession.

"I want you to stay..." he murmurs.

"Please stay."

2K notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

Who is This? - Bucky x Reader

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: Bucky had a wife during the 40s, she was left heartbroken after the telegram arrived (missing, presumed dead). It's surprising when 80 years later, she was working behind a bar in Madripoor of all places!

Bucky followed Sam and Zemo into a loud bar, he immediately wanted to turn around and go home, why had Zemo demanded he go back to being the Winter Soldier (even if it was one night)?

The sound of heavy drums and guitars also deafened his hearing, a song he had come to learn was The Wild Boy by a band called Duran Duran. A few bartenders and waitresses were walking around, there was only one who stuck out to him - a dark-haired young woman who reminded him too much of his departed wife.

His heart breaks even more, thinking of the woman he had left behind, his girl. The love of his life. Bucky doesn't think he will ever 'get over' her.

The way the young woman walked, carrying a tray of empty glasses (before being tossed an empty bottle by a patron), was so similar to the way his girl walked in the hole-in-the-wall diner she worked in.

She wasn't quick enough to duck under the bar before they got to the door leading upstairs (which was coincidentally next to the bar), Zemo was talking to the bouncer. "Excuse me, gentlemen," the young woman said, squeezing between the back of Zemo and the front of Bucky. Which is when he got a good look at her face.

There she was.

His girl. His wife.

He couldn't even say anything to her, as he was taken upstairs and away from his girl. He could only hope he would be allowed back in at the end of the night to see her.

Y/N Barnes made her way behind the bar, glancing up at the TV where the Kansas City Chiefs were currently playing the Buffalo Bills at Arrowhead Stadium, then down at her phone which showed the live score of the Dodgers game against the San Francisco Giants.

She had been a long-time Dodgers girl, even after she found out they had moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles.

"Did you see the way he was looking at you?" Yasmine asked, pushing a dry Martini in front of a 26-year-old woman.

Y/N looked up from the glasses she was putting in the dishwasher. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"One of the men who went upstairs. The way he was looking at you," Yasmine fans her hand for dramatic effect. "I would drop my panties for him in a millisecond."

"Like you don't do that every night."

Yasmine rolled her eyes and served the next half-drunk who had come to the bar.

"Don't listen to her," Anastasia told her, rolling her eyes as Yasmine flirted with her current flavour of the week.

"It's not often I do, darling," Y/N replied, fiddling with Anastasia's curls for a second, before spotting a patron. "What can I get for you, darling?"

He hung off the bar, obviously far too drunk to understand what was going on. "Another beer and your phone number," he slurred.

She shook her head, reaching over and grabbing him another beer. As far as the boss of the bar (whoever that was) was concerned unless they were unconscious- why should you stop serving them? Y/N thought it wasn't right, but no matter how often she voiced this - she was shut down.

She set the beer in front of him and then went to the register to add it to his bill (good thing she currently has his credit card behind the bar).

"Oi, sweet cheeks!" He calls, but Y/N doesn't pay attention looking over at Yasmine and Anastasia with a raised eyebrow. "Sweet cheeks! I asked for your number."

Y/N replied by simply raising her hand proudly displaying her engagement and wedding rings to the drunk. It was only a small diamond (given Bucky worked on the docks before he was deployed), and the plain band she inherited from her great-grandmother.

"What's the matter with that 'un?" He hiccups. "He got you costume jewellery or somethin'?"

Y/N shook her head. "I'm going into the back for a moment," she tells Aidan.

Little did the drunk patron know, all those years ago, this was the date she was handed the telegraph - putting in such blunt words. Her James was missing, they presumed him to be dead. It breaks her heart that they never got to have a proper funeral.

"You alright, honey?" Elizabeth (another one of the waitresses) asked, she had been outside on her break. Elizabeth was the only one who knew her true age and about her James.

"It's the day I found out James was missing," Y/N said, before bursting into more tears.

Elizabeth wrapped Y/N up in a hug, everyone oblivious to the fact that Y/N's presumed dead husband was now running through the bar, flocked by Sam and Zemo, and into the alley behind the bar.

When Bucky was sure Zemo, Sam and Sharon were asleep, he slipped out of the safe house and into the night - determined to find out if the woman he saw in the bar was that of his (presumably? should be?) dead wife.

He eventually made his way to the front door of the bar, the bouncers had long since gone home. He could see lights on in the building and just about make out words being spoken thanks to the Super Soldier serum running through his veins.

He grasped the handle and gave it a push, the door hadn't been locked, as it gave beneath the slight push.

He could see three young women sitting on the bar, a man who was counting the money from the register and another man who was dancing.

The young woman sitting closest to the bar, had golden curls hanging around her head. "Mark, you didn't lock the door!"

The man dancing, Mark, looked over at Bucky, eyes widening when he saw the size of Bucky. "I say we just serve him, then lock the door behind him."

As the bartenders and waitress argued amongst themselves, Bucky's eyes never left the woman in the middle. It looked as if she had been crying. "Babydoll?"

The woman stopped giggling, tipping her head back to normal and looked at him, before dropping her glass as tears welled up in her eyes. "James?"

The curly-haired woman gasped, setting her glass down and giving Y/N a push off the bar.

Bucky held his arms out to catch her as her feet landed on the floor. He couldn't stop looking at her big eyes, he'd always loved her big expressive eyes. He always knew how she was feeling by just a look in her eyes.

"James? Is that you?" Her hand came out slowly, and shakily, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her.

"Hi, babydoll," Bucky smiled, tears starting to fall down his cheeks, a heavy sob held tightly in his chest at the moment in time. As soon as her fingers met his skin, Bucky let out a heavy sigh of relief, reaching over and pulling her into his arms. Y/N's arms dug themselves away from his chest and up around his neck before her hand soon started fiddling with his hair.

The couple stood there for a moment, finally finding their slice of peace. Some came barging into the bar, and the dark-haired woman who had been sitting on the other side of Y/N practically demanded Mark lock the door before the Hounds of Baskerville came in.

Y/N was so happy to finally have her James back in her arms, but there was a whirling sound she couldn't let go. "What's that noise?"

Bucky looked from his wife to his arm and back to his bride. "I'll explain everything to you later, but... I lost my arm, and I now have a prosthetic one," he tells her, letting go of her for a moment so he could take his glove off and show her the black and gold Vibranium one he had made.

"Ok, James. It's a good thing you gave me this," she reached beneath her top and pulled a ring out from beneath, hanging from a chain. "Before you were deployed."

Bucky smiled, cupping her face so he could kiss her. Bucky pulled away chuckling a little. "Babydoll, will you please put my ring back on?"

She reached behind her to unclasp the chain, and slid Bucky's band off, "if it doesn't fit we'll get it resized."

"I don't care what size it is, as long as you put my ring back where it belongs," Bucky almost growled, a piece of him falling back into place with the ring back on his finger.

The next morning - Sam, Zemo and Sharon came into the living room, seeing Bucky sleeping on the sofa (Sam was expecting this, after being told by Steve), however, there was a lump lying next to Bucky they didn't recognise.

Sam slowly makes his way over, gently easing down the thick blanket lying over Bucky and the lump.

Lying there, practically on top of the 'bionic staring machine' was a young woman.

"Did he somehow pick up a girl?" Sam whispered. Sam and Sharon were trying to be quiet - however, Zemo (who didn't care) started clattering around the kitchen, causing Bucky to wake up in a start, which then caused the young woman to look up with tired owl-like eyes.

"What the hell is going on?" Bucky nearly demanded, keeping his arms wrapped around his companion.

Sam raised his eyebrow. "I could ask you the same question, Barnes?" Sam looked at the young woman in Bucky's arms. "Who is this?"

Bucky looked down at her, Sam watched as a smile grew on his face. "This is Y/N. Y/N Barnes. My wife."

3K notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

i’ve got you | b.b

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

Summary: Reader has a panic attack and Bucky comforts them.

Warnings: panic attacks, headaches, hyperventilating, pet names (sweetheart, hun)

Words: 664

Masterlist | Request Guidelines

(my gif :))

Bucky is well aware of your anxiety and does his best to help you, despite you not always making it easy on him.

You’d been doing fine for a few days, but there was always that buzzing under the surface. You could feel it rising and you knew you’d need to check out for a bit. You knew the super soldier would find you, follow the sound of your breathing; he couldn’t help himself.

Nonetheless, you tried to hide yourself away, hating the idea of being a burden. Your heart picked up as you made your way down the halls and you cursed under your breath, picking up your pace. You ducked around a corner, your knees weakening suddenly and you groaned in annoyance as you slid down the wall. You would’ve preferred more privacy, but the compound was quiet today and this would have to do.

You let your head fall against the wall and tried to control your breathing. Somewhere beyond the rushing blood in your ears, you sensed his not-so-light footfalls.

Bucky found you straight away, his instincts leading him right to you. He rounds the corner to find you sitting against a wall and breathing heavy. He rushes over to you and kneels in front of you, his voice quiet and with a barely restrained quality as he speaks to you.

"Heeey sweetheart, it's all okay. Can you look at me?"

"It’s f-fine, Buck. I'll be okay, I just need a minute. It just, it just n-needs to run its c-course then i'll be fine,” you ground out between breaths. You just wanted to be alone, embarrassed at the way you were practically gasping for breath. You'd be lying though if you said you weren’t comforted by his presence.

"No, hun. You’re gonna hurt yourself, you need to slow your breathing."

“Demanding,” you attempted to joke but just end up coughing. Your erratic breathing is starting to take its toll; you’re hyperventilating now and you can feel yourself getting dizzy as your chest starts to ache.

At the edge of your vision, you see Buckys hands raising towards you, but it slows before it can reach you.

"Can I touch you sweetheart?"

You nod a little as you fight to get air. He was always so careful. You teased him for it on your good days, but you were grateful.

He adjusts so he's sitting next to you against the wall and puts his arm around your shoulders. He takes one of your hands in his and places it over his heart.

"Just try to follow my breathing, okay? I know it's hard, just try to focus on the rise and fall of my chest. I’ve got you."

He starts taking exaggerated deep breaths and whispering encouragement. The way he was sucking in air would have made you laugh if you weren’t on the verge of passing out.

After a moment, you're able to follow his breathing and it slowly calms you down. As your lungs stop aching so much, you can more clearly feel the pain in your head, pulsing at your temples.

Bucky notices as you screw your eyes shut, grimacing at your pain. He starts rubbing your arm and gently pulling you closer.

"Put your head on my chest, catch your breath."

Your feigned reluctance to his affection having quickly drained away, you let yourself lean over and he starts softly running his fingers along your hairline.

"Close your eyes, get some rest."

Your anxiety starts to spark again and you squirm a bit. "But you have that thing with Sam, and-" He cuts you off, stilling you and putting your worries to bed.

"Shhh none of that, just rest. Steve can handle it. I've got time."

You hid your face in his chest as your eyes glassed over, slightly annoyed at how much you depended on him, how safe he made you feel.

But you pushed the feeling away and let yourself drown in his comfort.

A.N: as always, please let me know if I left out any warnings <33

488 notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

Warrior/Worrier (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary: After a mission gone awry, Bucky finds himself on your doorstep in the middle of the night.

Words: 5.3K

Fluff, fluff and fluff and a lil bit of angst. Classic hurt/comfort and friends to lovers

Through the darkness, there's a knock on your bedroom door, so soft, so cautious, that if you hadn't already been half-awake, you're not sure you would've caught it.

Legs quickly swung over the side of your mattress, you stop and focus at a fixpoint in your moonlit room.

According to the big mission schedule hung in Steve's office, you should be the only one at the compound, so you cannot for the life in you figure out who would rap on your door at 3.30 in the morning, but it wasn't just something you'd imagined because there it is again. A knock, not much louder than before, but definitely there.

For a brief second, your foggy brain ponders that it's likely someone who's been sent to kill you in the dead of night, but before you've even reached for your bedside Beretta, rationality reminds you that they probably wouldn't have had the curtesy to knock first - and then it dawns on you.

"Nat," you sigh with a roll of your eyes and let your bare feet hit the floor while you rub the sleep from off your face. It's not the first time she's forgotten the lock combination to her room after post-mission drinks.

Slowly, you walk across the cold floorboards and over to the wooden door where you can hear ragged breathing from the other side of the wall. Hand lazily pulling the door open, you start talking before you've seen who's on the other side.

"It's only four digits and you're panic breathing?" you chuckle but is immediately taken aback when you're not met by Natasha but instead by your best friend. "...Buck?"

He's back from his mission a day earlier than you'd expected and you're just about to crack a witty comment on how you'd told him that Sam couldn't stand to be alone with him for more than thirty-six hours, but then you notice the state he's in.

His entire body is slumped over as he clutches his right arm tight to his chest, eyes droopy and blank, cheekbones dotted by freckles of soot and framed by thick strands of auburn hair caked in dried blood. "Doll," he breathes painfully and takes a step closer, looking only mildly relieved to see you.

"Buck!" you hiss in fear and grab both his cheeks, but his dirty face just drops further, and he can't even look at you though you're standing mere inches apart.

"I know it's late," he mumbles with his gaze downcast, "but can I come in?"

It's as if you don't hear him clearly enough to respond. His voice is under water and at the same time layers above you while you're far too concerned with every look of horror splashed across his handsome face, your hands frantically clutching his bloodied cheeks as you desperately search his eyes though he still won't look at you. "What happened? Where's all this blood coming from?"

"It's - it's not mine..." he croaks with a small shake of his head.

Fear ripples through your entire body one more time and you can barely speak as you imagine the worst possible scenario that might have caused Bucky to behave like this. "Is it... Sam?" you whimper with tears already burning in your eyes, fighting the urge to throw up.

"He's fine," Bucky quickly interrupts with a small nod, "I dropped him off at his girl's place twenty minutes ago," he croaks and finally looks up at you, his eyes more broken than you've ever seen them before. It makes your heart crack in two. "Sweetheart, can I please come in?"

"Oh god," you pant anxiously and reluctantly let your fingers slide off his cheeks as you step to the side and finally let him inside your bedroom. "Yes, yes of course you can come in."

Immediately, he's on your bed, his face buried in his vibranium hand as the pads of his fingers start rubbing circles over his dusty forehead.

"What happened?" you barely manage to croak as you sit down beside him and carefully place a hand on his rigid thigh. "Last time I heard from you, everything was going according to plan."

"I don't want to talk about it," he gulps and starts rubbing his face even more agitatedly, looking over at you with an apologetic look on his face. "- not right now... I just had to see you. I'm sorry I woke you up."

You grab his vibranium hand and bring it down to his lap to get him to stop his frantic movements and he immediately squeezes you tight, letting out another heart-breaking sob.

"It's okay, Buck. I'm glad you're here."

Over the last year, you've seen Bucky on his darkest days a handful of times, and he usually has the same look on his face, but this time, it's different. It's deeper. Despondent and morose, the anger that's usually posessing him om the bleaker days replaced by a different kind of sadness.

Something really bad must've happened...

"Do you wanna sleep in here tonight?" you ask, unsure how to tackle this the best way possible if you don't want him to shield himself off in his room the way he usually does when he's not feeling his best. He shouldn't be alone under any circumstances.

You're half expecting him to protest, but to your surprise he starts nodding, relieved. "Thank you," he whispers and squeezes your hand tight again.

You make an attempt at a comforting touch as you brush over the soot on his cheeks, making a strand of dirty hair dipped in dried blood fall from his forehead. "You want a shower? I can draw you a bath."

He nods again.

"Come on, love," you say quietly and watch as he gulps hard at the sound of the tender pet-name that you've been wanting to call him for months now but haven't had the guts to say out loud until it accidentally slips past your lips. Surprisingly, you're not even embarrassed by yourself. You suppose there are more important things to worry about than an accidental profession of love in a moment of gentle affection.

Bucky seems taken aback too, frozen, and full of wonder, but he shakes it off and lets you pull him to your small bathroom, accepting your fluffiest towel without a word as he continues staring at you.

"I'll be just outside, okay?" you say reassuringly as you turn on the water in your bathtub, making sure it's the right temperature before putting in the drain stopper.

He's still looking at you with huge eyes, flesh arm clutched to his chest while the fluffy white towel gently supports his elbow. You silently wonder if he's hurt but before you can ask him, he speaks.

"Can you... stay?" He asks quietly, biting his inner cheek, unsure if his request is too much.

Still, it's your turn to be taken aback. You and Bucky are close but not like that.

"Stay?" you instinctively furrow your eyebrows, "while you shower?

He immediately clenches his jaw shut and shakes his head while small patches of pink appear on his cheeks underneath all the dirt. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, no it's okay," you quickly stand up from your position by the tub spout so you're once again levelled. "- I was just surprised, that's all," you want to smack yourself for making him doubt himself. "Of course I'll stay."

Ice blue irises slowly find yours while the rose tint of his lower lip is being pulled between his teeth. "Are you sure?" he hesitates while sucking in some air, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable..."

"You're not," you touch your hand to his sternum to underline your words and watches as the crease between his eyebrows slowly reduces as he gradually relaxes under your touch. You can't help but think that even through all the dust and the grime, he looks incredibly beautiful.

"Let me give you some privacy," you unwillingly let go of him and turn away so he can undress in peace.

From behind you, you can hear the ruffle of his tac pants being pushed down his legs before the belt buckle clangs loudly against the tiles of the floor. It's followed by a series of loud painful grunts and hisses a few seconds later.

"Are you okay?" you ask and turn your head to the side, careful not to look directly at him as to not break the trust he put in you when he asked you to stay. "Buck?"

"Yeah, sweetheart," he sighs in embarrassment behind you, "it's just... do you think you could... help me?"

You turn around slowly to find him standing in the middle of the bathroom still wearing his torn t-shirt and Kevlar vest, bare-legged in boxer shorts and black socks pulled high up on his calf while his pants are lying crumbled on the floor beside him. He's awkwardly shifting the weight between his two feet, still clutching his right arm tightly. "It's my elbow."

Immediately, you furrow your eyebrows and walk over to him, taking his right hand in yours. "Yeah, I meant to ask you earlier. What happened?"

He doesn't answer but just silently lets you examine the swelling and black-purple skin that's half-hidden underneath dust and blood.

"Shit," you breathe and hear him give out a sharp hiss when you turn his arm over so you can examine the other side, "Buck, I think your elbow's torn."

"Me too," he gulps, "- I heard it snap."

At the mere thought of the sound, a wave of nausea hits you square in the chest and your stomach starts to churn. You can feel the tang of acid push up on your tongue when you imagine the pain he must've been enduring - still is enduring - but you fight it relentlessly and eventually manage to swallow down the bile. You should be taking care of him, not the other way around.

"We should go down to the infirmary," you say and keep your gaze firmly placed on the purple bruising, so he doesn't notice your discomfort. "I know it probably won't take too long to heal with the serum and all but just to make su-"

"Sweetheart," he gulps from above you and it makes you stop mid-sentence. "Not tonight, okay? I just wanna stay here tonight."

You look up at him, about to protest, but the words quickly die in your throat when you notice the look he's wearing. He's begging. Anxious. Heavy-hearted.

"Okay," you reluctantly agree and carefully let go of his arm while he sends you a grateful look. "Come on, let me help you out of this," you say quietly in defeat and unstrap his vest beneath his ribs, pulling the Kevlar plates over his head while he groans loudly.

"Ah!" he hisses and clutches his elbow tight, squeezing his eyes shut when you try and pull his t-shirt over his head. "Fuck!"

"You good?"

"Mm-hmm" he hums displeased with lips pressed so tightly together they're forming a thin, white line. "Just get it over with."

You pull on the hem again so the dark fabric rides up his stomach, revealing scarred skin pulled tight over the bulging muscles you've spent so many warm summer days discreetly staring at. "Can you reach your arms just a little higher?" you ask and watch how his diaphragm heaves in small electric shocks when he cannot control the loud gasps that escape his throat.

"Fuck me!" He hisses and squeezes his eyes so tightly shut that his entire face pales. "Just rip the damn fabric off," he hisses angrily, "I can't extend my fucking arm."

"Are you sure you don't wanna get it checked out in the med wing?" You let go of his t-shirt and look him deep in the eye, hoping your concerned gaze can convince him that it'll be worth the trip just to get your jumping nerves under control.

"Just... get me out of this thing," he sighs in defeat. "Cut it open, I don't care."

Disinclined, you dive down in the drawer underneath your sink, pulling out a small flat-legged scissor that came with a roll of gauze you bought last year when you had a nasty wound that wouldn't stop bleeding. "Are you sure?" You look up at him as you put the blade underneath the hem of his t-shirt.

Through the fingers you have placed over his chest, you can feel how his pulse quickly falls again when your eyes meet.

"S'just a t-shirt," he mumbles quietly while nodding, "I'm sure..."

Though you want to stay in this position forever, you slowly look away from him and down at your hands as your hesitantly start cutting, careful not to pierce Bucky's flesh with the sharp scissors.

The blade runs through the fabric like a hot knife through butter and you can feel every tense muscle that the edge of the scissors encounters as they travel over his warm stomach and chest. It makes the blood roar in your ears as more and more skin is revealed underneath your fingertips.

Concentrated on not hurting him even more, you keep your gaze firmly placed on his heavily panting chest as you cut open the front of his black shirt and carefully peel the fabric off his bruised arm until he's standing in front of you in nothing but black boxers and socks, his left hand carefully reaching out for yours as if to comfort both of you.

You've seen him bare chested several times before, but it's never been in this close proximity, never been this intimate, just the two of you holding hands and looking each other deep in the eye as you silently try to assure the other that everything is going to be okay.

"So..." you clear your throat, embarrassed by the fact that you have to hold yourself back from leaning forwards, planting a small kiss on his dusty cheek. "- I take it you can shimmy your way out of those on your own, right?" You nod down towards his boxers and he blinks as if he's just woken up from a trance.

"Yeah," he nods and lets go of your hand while the pink patches make a reappearance on his face.

Slowly, you turn around facing the running spout in the tub to the soft sound of cotton hitting the floor behind you. Involuntarily, you give out a gulp and flusteredly grab the box of bath salts just to give your shaking hands something to do. You cannot believe that your extremely fuckable best friend is standing naked in your bathroom no more than two feet away, begging you to stay close to him.

Eyes still firmly placed on the water in the tub, you point over your shoulder to the rainfall shower in the opposite corner of the bathroom. "You wanna rinse off first?"

"I better," Bucky hesitates behind you. "Don't you think?"

"It'll be a much nicer bath if you do," you awkwardly clear your throat.

"Yeah, you're right," he sighs and turns on the shower, immediately stepping inside and closing the glass door behind him so you can finally breathe freely again.

Through the mirror above the sink, you can make out his naked silhouette behind the matte glass and how the tension in his shoulders first tenfolds and then completely disappears the minute the water turns warm and he relaxes. He lets his forehead fall forwards so it's pressed up against the cold tiles while the water runs over his defined shoulders and down his sculpted back, and you literally have to force your eyes away from him and the shape of his handsome torso.

With your gaze fixed firmly on the fuzzy bathmat at the foot of the shower, you hear the sound of your bath gel being opened, followed by a series of painful grunts as Bucky desperately tries to lather himself with the soap.

"Fuck," he mumbles quietly and before you've even voiced a single word of concern, he continues. "Sweetheart, I know it's a lot to ask..." he says a little louder, the embararssement still evident in his voice, "- but I'm gonna need a little help in here... it's - it's this damn elbow," he sighs, "I'm useless. Can you...?" his voice trails off and the question hangs thickly in the air between you.

He wants you to join him.

To wash him.

Take care of him.

The thought alone makes you nervous, you have to admit, but he needs your help and you're willing to do anything for him.

"Give me a minute," you gulp and strip down to your panties, pulling on the bra you wore earlier so you're not completely bare in there. Several times, you've dreamt of you and Bucky naked together, but not like this - never like this - and you'll be damned if the first time he sees you without a shred of clothes is because he needs help and not because he needs you.

With your pyjamas neatly folded on top of the toilet seat cover, you take a final look at yourself in the mirror, brushing your hair out of your eyes before nervously reaching for the shower door with shaking hands.

He's still standing with his chiselled back towards you, letting the water rinse over his dirty hair and down between his shoulder blades with a slightly pinkish hue. "I'm so sorry about this," he mumbles uncomfortably and hands you your loofah behind his back. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Come on, Buck," you say as you dribble a little soap on the sponge, fighting the urge to let your gaze run all the way down to his thick thighs. "Don't beat yourself up, you know I'm always here for you."

"Still," he mumbles and goes silent as the loofah gently runs over his tense shoulders and traces down his spine.

The white soap bubbles work magic on his dirty skin and you make sure not to leave out a single square inch of his scarred backside as you wash him while fighting the urge to wrap your arms around his torso, telling him how glad you are that he not alone came home, but also that he came to you seeking help instead of barricading himself in his room. It seems significant that he's here, as if something's changed between you though you cannot put your finger on it.

Completely lost in thought, you accidentally run the loofah a little too vigorously over his right tricep, sending shockwaves down his broken bone and resulting in a painful hiss falling from his open mouth.

"Sorry," you mumble, and scrub down his lower back, this time more careful with your movements though there aren't any dirty or bloody spots left on either side of his spine. "There we go" you conclude quietly when you realise that the rinsing water has finally lost its pink and grimy hue. "Turn around," you ask and hope he cannot hear the nervousness straining your voice. No matter what, you're not looking down.

Bucky seems just as jittery about his compromising position as you do, and he slowly spins around, revealing pink cheeks and heaving pecs, his gaze glued to the ceiling as he looks as if he's ready to fling himself off the nearest cliff. "God, sweetheart," he mumbles and breathes hard, "I'm so sorry for all this."

"Bucky, come on - what'd I tell you?" you touch the loofah to his chest, careful not to look anywhere than at the sponge itself as it traces over his collar bones and down his handsome stomach.

He merely sighs and stands completely still while you rinse the crevices between the metal plates over his left clavicle, careful not to move his torso so much he hisses in pain again.

"...You're a good friend," he mumbles after a few focused minutes where you've carefully been scrubbing the gold-plated lines in the vibranium, "- I ever tell you that?"

"All the time," you smile genuinely for the first time since he knocked on your door earlier that evening. If there's one thing you can count on, it's that Bucky Barnes appreciates you more than anything.

"I mean it," he says, "never doubt that."

You look up into his eyes.

He looks so soft and innocent as he stands before you, face finally clean, wet hair sticking to his forehead while he professes his love for you. Even if it's just platonic, it makes your heart skip a beat.

"I know, Buck."

"Good," he nods and blinks a few times with heavy, wet lashes framing his cerulean eyes. The air between you is thicker than ever and for a brief moment, it looks as if he's about to lean in and kiss you, but you break the tension by looking away. You don't want to take advantage of his vulnerable state no matter how badly you want that kiss.

"You ready for the tub?" You ask him in a weirdly shaky voice.

He nods while an almost inaudible sigh escapes his lips. "Yeah," he says and turns off the water, quickly exiting the shower before you can take notice of the disappointment burning on his skin.

You dry your feet on the small fuzzy mat, carefully watching Bucky's naked backside as he tests the temperature in the tub by dipping his toe in the water before stepping over the porcelain edge, sitting himself down.

Immediately, he gives out a content sigh, and drapes right arm over his chest, supporting his broken elbow with vibranium fingers, and you finally deem the situation safe enough to approach him again.

"Want me to wash your hair?"

"Mmh" he hums with closed eyes, immediately more relaxed now that he's covered by water. "I don't deserve you."

You grab your shampoo bottle and push out a decent amount of liquid, pressing it to his warm scalp to the sound of an alleviated sigh falling from his lips as you carefully start massaging it into his roots.

"Does that feel good?" you ask through a smile.

"Yeah, sweetheart," he groans quietly, making the butterflies in your stomach flutter awake, "- feels amazing."

You're slowly lathering shampoo into his long hair, enjoying the feel of him underneath your fingertips, how his soft hair slips through your hands while also trying not to think too much about the kiss you robbed yourself of in the shower. You can hear how his breathing slowly steadies and you think that maybe he's in the early stages of sleep but then he unexpectedly heaves a deep breath -

"You know... I haven't been scared of death for a long time," he says so sudden, so seriously that you're immediately brought out of your trance as your every muscle freezes at his austere tone of voice. "I used to not care if I lived or died but... tonight didn't go as planned," he swallows thickly and you can see how his jaw tenses up as his voice becomes husky, "- they... had me."

"What?" you pant with mortification, your every skeletal muscle paralysed as your breathing picks up. You don't have to ask him who he's talking about.

"Sam and I, we were so sure of ourselves," he shakes his head with his gaze fixed on the wall straight ahead. "We thought had the perfect plan... I - I'm such an idiot, nothing ever runs smoothly with Hydra."

You can feel your heart thumping in your throat. "What happened?" You whisper.

"Sam was on the look-out while I got the hard drive," he mumbles, "it was so easy. It didn't even take me five minutes before I was heading back towards the safehouse," he gulps, "- of course it was an ambush. I should have realised the minute I set foot inside that building."

"You couldn't have known," you whimper softly and stroke his scalp, but he doesn't listen.

"- I thought I was..." the words drown in a heavy sigh, and he stares blankly into space while blinking the tears away.

"Buck," you whisper and can feel the pain radiating from every fibre of his entire being when you wrap your arms around his wet torso and hold him close to your chest.

"They took me to a room. Strapped me down," he takes a ragged breath, and you hold on to him even tighter, "I was sure that was it. I never thought I'd find myself home again."

"You're home now," you whisper and softly kiss his shoulder, hoping that he doesn't feel the tear that lands on top of his clavicle. "You're home now with me."

"I know, sweetheart," he leans into your hug with a sigh, "trust me, I know."

"Everything's gonna be alright, love," you whisper against him and stroke your hand over his hair, "it's you and me against the world, always."

"You and me," he quietly confirms and leans back into your chest with a deep breath.

You continue stroking him over the hair, hold on to him for dear life, not willing to let go as you feel him relax more and more in your arms until he starts snoring slightly, finally warm and safe in your embrace.

"Buck, come on," you instinctively kiss him right below his ear, "you're sleeping. Let's get you into bed."

"Sorry," he mumbles groggily and lets his head fall back against your shoulder. "m'just so fucking tired. Been up thirty-six hours..."

"We'll talk tomorrow," you kiss him again and unwillingly unwrap yourself from around his chest, standing up straight beside him. "I'm not going anywhere. Promise."

He's looking up at you with puppy eyes, gaze slowly travelling down your body and up again as if he hadn't realised you were in your lingerie until that exact moment. "You look beautiful," he says quietly and you half-expect him to laugh it off, but his face stays serious.

"...Thanks," you croak while handing him the fluffy towel, not sure how to react to his sweet words. He's called you many things, but he's never downright called you beautiful before.

"I can take it from here, sweetheart," he nods slowly and steals one last glance down at your body, "you just go to bed. I'll be in in a minute."

"Okay," you whisper and peel yourself away from the tension between you by swiftly turning around, exiting the bathroom.

Back in your room, you barely have time to get out of your wet underwear and put on a fresh set of pyjamas, before a boxer-clad Bucky joins you on the bed.

"Are you still okay with me staying the night?" He asks, nervously.

"Of course I am," you answer immediately and find his vibranium hand underneath the covers, lacing your fingers between his as you scan his weary features. "See if you can get some sleep, okay? You need it," you brush a strand of wet hair away from his face and make sure he's fine by gently cupping his cheek before closing your eyes, hoping he's following your lead, doing the same.

The dark room goes completely quiet for a few minutes where the only audible sound is of your synchronised breathing.

You can feel yourself grow impossibly tired too as you lie there hand in hand with Bucky, and you're just about to succumb to sleep, when suddenly, his quiet whisper breaks the silence.

"I thought about you," he says softly, and it makes you open your eyes again.

You're staring straight into his handsome face, his beautiful blue eyes scanning over your features as he slowly clarifies.

"When they had me strapped down, I thought about you," he moves his fingers against the palm of your hand and completely engulfs you. "The thought of not seeing you again was..." the words die in his throat, and he looks as if he's seconds away from whimpering. "- Sweetheart, you make me so afraid of dying."

You breathe hard with quivering lips, huge eyes matching his as you let his confession sink in.

"I was so desperate to come home, I snapped the restraints in half. Snapped my own elbow along with them," he winces slightly at the painful memory that once again makes your stomach churn. "Sweetheart, I fought like hell. I don't think I've ever been so angry... I - I killed everyone I could get my hands on, I just had to see you again," he brings your hand to his soft lips and kisses the delicate pulse point of your wrist.

"Buck..." a slow whine escapes your throat as you try to blink away a stubborn tear that slowly starts rolling down the side of your nose.

"I love you," he whispers so softly against your thin skin that you almost don't hear. His eyes are closed and he looks relieved to be lying here with you, so you carefully pull his hand to your chest, placing his vibranium palm above your heavily beating heart.

"I love you too."

"Sweetheart," he whispers above you and moves his hand a little on top of your soft pyjamas while lightly shaking his head with a sigh. "No, you don't understand..." he gulps and searches your face, "I love you."

Your breath hitches in your throat.

"- I want more than this," he slowly admits. "I want to be more than your friend. I'm in love with you."

You squeeze his hand and move a little closer to him, scared that he'll stop confessing his love if you say something to throw him off track.

He holds on to you and can feel how your pulse starts racing underneath your pyjamas. "I hope I'm not scaring you off."

"No, no you're not," you say in a hoarse voice, "not at all. I - I think about you all the time."

"You do?" He breathes hard, clearly not believing what he's hearing.

"Yeah," you merely nod and move your head a little closer to him while he does the same. "I'm in love with you too, Buck. Have been for quite some time."

With a serious look, he moves his hand from off your chest and up to your face where he brushes a finger over the delicate features of your cheekbone and down to your jawline. "I'm gonna kiss you now," he warns in a whisper and waits for you to give him a nod before he reaches his head forwards, finally claiming your mouth with his lips.

His hand snakes down the length of your spine and you press your entire front up against his hard chest and stomach while he caresses the small of your back, slipping his soft tongue inside your mouth. "God," he moans and gently grabs hold of your hips, pulling you impossibly close to him. "You make me feel whole again," he whispers against your skin and kisses a small line from your earlobe and down to the base of your clavicle. "What do you say sweetheart?" he mumbles and nibbles at your skin, "can I take you out?"

"Yeah, Buck, you can take me out," you squeeze his hand, and he smiles for the first time that evening, setting everything inside of you aflame.

He's finally smiling and it's because of you.

"I wanna do it the old-fashioned way," he says, beaming, "bring you flowers. Take you dancing. Show you how you're supposed to be treated."

You can't help but chuckle at his soft innocence. "You're an old man," you brush him over his hair, "nobody goes dancing anymore."

"I'll teach you," he chuckles back but lets it turn into a sharp hiss when he accidentally moves his broken elbow.

"That sounds lovely," you admit with a smile, excited at the prospect of having his hands on your hips while he tells you what to do, "- though I'm afraid we'll have to get that elbow sorted first if you want to manoeuvre me around on the dancefloor. I know you don't see the point in going but... med wing tomorrow morning?"

"Okay," he rolls his eyes with a laugh that makes your stomach go all warm and fuzzy. "If it gets me to go dancing with you just an hour earlier, it's worth the trip... Will you go with me?"

"Yeah, I'll go with you," you kiss his hand, and he chuckles so warmly your stomach lights up again. "I'll go with you always."

6K notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Note

Hello lovely,

I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)

Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky

Please. That would be nice.

Take care honey

oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰

Love Hurts

♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.

♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this

main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.

It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.

It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.

That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.

“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.

“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.

He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.

“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.

He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.

“Not really.” He admitted.

You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.

“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.

“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.

You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. “Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”

His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.

“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.

“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.

But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.

“Like what?”

You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?

“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.

“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.

“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”

“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.

“No, no Buck listen—”

That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.

“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”

You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.

“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.

Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.

He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.

Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.

“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”

You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.

Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.

“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.

You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.

“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.

Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.

Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.

Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.

“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”

Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.

“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.

Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.

“Bucky I—”

“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.

Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.

“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.

You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.

“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.

Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.

He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.

“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.

You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.

“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.

Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.

“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.

Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.

God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.

You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.

Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.

You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.

"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.

He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.

Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.

“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.

Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.

“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.

Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.

“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.

You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.

“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.

“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.

You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.

Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.

“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.

“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.

Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.

“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”

“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.

His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.

Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.

You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.

Yeah… just one more day.

You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.

Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.

You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.

The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.

You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.

You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.

Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.

You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.

You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.

You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.

You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.

Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.

You furrowed your brows, looking him over.

“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.

You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.

“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.

You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.

“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.

You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.

“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.

He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.

You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.

Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.

Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.

“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.

“He hates me.” You mumbled.

Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.

“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”

You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.

“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.

Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.

You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.

He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.

He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.

Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.

“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.

“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”

He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.

Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.

“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.

“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.

You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?

“Then why?”

“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.

The anger was approaching.

“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.

He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.

“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”

You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.

You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.

“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.

You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.

“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.

“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”

You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.

“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.

It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.

“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.

“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.

“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.

“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.

“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.

“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.

Like he could finally breath.

“Why?” He wondered.

You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.

“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.

His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.

“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.

You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.

“Never again— I promise.”

This time, he wouldn’t break it.

to be added to a taglist

TAGLIST: @engie115 @kmc1989 @ghostofwinter @silverfire13 @goldylions @potatothots @billy-reads @hanihoney88 @skittle479 @hereticdance @mentalidrainedfangirl @natashassandwich @marvelogic @soul-system @alinasmcu @almosttoopizza @lilbabygirll @sebastiansstanswhore @yujyujj @jasminocano

3K notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky buys you flowers.

TW: Fluff, nervous Bucky, pre-established relationship, lovesick Bucky.

Bucky stood in front of the flower stand, bright blue eyes running over all the colorful options. He knew that every flower had meaning, but seeing the sheer variety had him lost.

"Can I help you find something, Sir?" The elderly salesperson asked.

Bucky sighed, "Yeah, I could definitely use some help. I'm looking to buy flowers for my girl, but I'm feeling a little lost," He confessed with a small smile.

"Well, what's her favorite color, dear?" The woman asked.

"She really likes pink," Bucky said.

"Then we have a place to start. Is there a special occasion at all?" She asked.

"No, not really. I had to go out of town for a few days on short notice and didn't get to say goodbye before I left," Bucky said.

It wasn't necessarily a lie, he did have to leave town on short notice. The poor woman didn't need to know that he had been traveling the world with Sam Wilson to stop a terrorist group.

"That's very sweet, there's not many men like you around anymore," She mused, scanning the options.

"Don't I know it," Bucky muttered.

"Ah," She said suddenly, locating what she had been looking for.

The woman gathered multiple pink and white flowers together, tilting the top of the assorted bouquet towards Bucky.

"How's that, dear?" She asked, Bucky smiled.

"It's perfect," He said.

....

Bucky made his way down the hallway towards the small apartment that he shared with Y/N.

He took a deep breath as he tucked a hand into his pocket to pull out his keys.

She would be pissed and he knew that he deserved it. Bucky had practically disappeared, no calls or texts to explain anything.

He had only sent one: 'With Sam. Be home soon'

Then his phone died. And that was a few days ago.

Bucky slid his key into the lock before opening the door and stepping into the apartment.

"Doll, you home?" He called.

Y/N appeared around the corner quickly, rushing over to meet him.

"Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick," She said, pressing herself against his chest as she hugged him tightly.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her, careful not to crush the bouquet.

He felt like he could finally relax for the first time in days. Bucky hadn't realized how much he missed her until she was in his arms again.

"I'm so sorry, doll. Sam and I got caught up in something big and I couldn't just leave him," Bucky said.

She pulled away, cupping his cheeks and inspecting the bruises and cuts littering his skin. He had hoped they would heal more before seeing her again.

"I'm gonna kill him," Y/N muttered.

"I'm okay," Bucky assured, thumb brushing across her hip gently.

Her shoulders relaxed as she exhaled, "Bucky, what happened? Why didn't you call me?" She asked.

"My phone died," Bucky stated.

She huffed, "You are so lucky that I love you as much as I do," Y/N said.

"I brought you flowers... I know it doesn't make up for what I did, but I'm really sorry" He said, holding the bouquet up for her to see.

She took the bundle from his hand, smiling softly as she sniffed the petals, "Thank you, Bucky," Y/N said.

She rose up onto her toes, pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

Bucky leaned forward, chasing her lips as she pulled away. He slid his arms around her waist, "Kiss me like you missed me?" He asked.

Y/N's smile widened, hand resting on the side of his neck with her thumb resting along the curve of his jaw as she brought his lips to her's.

Bucky moved his lips against her's, his hands sliding under the material of her t-shirt to rest against her bare skin.

Bucky thanked his lucky stars for whatever he had done right in his life to deserve someone as amazing as her.

He hoped that the small velvet ring box hidden away in the back of his drawer would show just how much he loved her, but that's a story for another time.

Y/N pulled away, "I need to put these flowers in some water. Why don't you hop in the shower and I will meet you there?" She proposed.

"I love you so damn much," He mumbled.

"I love you too. Now go before I change my mind," She smiled.

Bucky pressed another quick kiss to her lips before he released her, making his way down the hallway in the direction of their bedroom.

Bucky Barnes loved his woman.

1K notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

I really want to write a Leonard McCoy x daughter!reader fic, but not really sure if I actually want to, if you know what I mean 😂

#ellatalks #Star Trek #star trek alternate original series #leonard mccoy #dr mccoy #dr leonard mccoy #the alternate Star Trek #leonard mccoy x reader #McCoy x reader #dr McCoy x reader #Leonard McCoy x daughter!reader

10 notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

I just want to eat ice cream without bloating and feeling crudddy for the next 5 hours. Pls. 🥺

#ellatalks #lactose intolerance

5 notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

Ugghh right before Christmas??? That sucks. Sore throats are honestly the worst.

I hope you are feeling better! SENDING ALL THE CARE FOR YOUR WELL-BEING!!!

I fear I may burn to oblivion before I taste a drop water from the sacred lips of reprieve.

5 notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Note

hi! this is my request: reader feeling very overwhelmed and anxious, maybe to the point of getting headaches/cramps, and alpha!bucky calms them down with his scent, comfort & fluff ensues <3 inspired by the 4th prompt on this list. thank you!!

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Nonnie yes. (This hits so close to home for me this week, so I'm sorry if this gets specific in a way that doesn't vibe with you.)

Let Me Love You

Warnings: A/B/O, toxic work environment?, unhealthy habits, stress, anxiety, hurt/comfort, cuddles in a nest, Bucky being the best alpha.

Word count: idk, long? 2K maybe?

⋆★⋆ ════════ ⋆★⋆ ════════ ⋆★⋆

It was meeting and after meeting, one thing on your to-do list is crossed out for five more to be added, co-workers asking for you to pick up the slack, and your manager demanding more and more and more. It felt like you were drowning in emails and requests. You couldn't handle it. The more overwhelming things became the harder and longer you worked, unable to cope. More than once you'd joked with the night janitor about just setting up a nest under your desk. It felt like this was all you did lately. Stress and work and stress more.

It was taking more than a mental and emotional toll on you. Bucky saw it every night you came home later and later - your scent was overflowing anxiety, your shoulder slumped, your eyes blurry and unfocused. He was worried like any Alpha would be, but there wasn't much he could do besides provide comfort. It wasn't until you started coming home and heading straight for the shower that he got really concerned. He could hear you crying, even from the doorway. He felt like he was losing you, like you were losing you to this job and he couldn't do anything about it. But this wasn't the 40s and he was basically on house arrest if there wasn't a mission.

"Doll, you know you don't have to work there right?" He leaned against the counter while you ate leftovers from dinner.

"I can't just quit, I don't have enough experience to move on yet. Just a few more months, maybe a year, and I'll get a new job. I'll be better."

Your words were spoken softly and ferociously, like you were trying to use an Alpha Voice on yourself, to convince yourself that was what you had to do.

Bucky just sighed. He can't force you to quit. He can't force you to do anything really. If you were set on something, you were set. It's how you got Bucky to realize he was a good Alpha, that he wasn't his past and that he could be better if he wanted. It was his choice what kind of Alpha he was going to be in the 21st century. And he wanted to be your Alpha.

He didn't want to go on a mission with Sam and Steve when you were like this. Every part of his Alpha brain was screaming at him to stay, to make you safe and happy and not this stranger you had become. But you insisted. Bucky was saving the world for Pete's sake, your little stress issue at work would pass and wasn't a big deal. You were the strong independent omega who nailed down the winter soldier after all.

He'd be gone for two weeks. You could manage two weeks of an empty nest, you survived your shitty job before him and you could do it again.

That first week was easy. Bucky extra scented his pillows before he left and you woke up most mornings clutching one or more to your chest. You were barely home though, leaving early and getting home progressively later and later, even taking your work home with you on the weekend. You were running on stale coffee and whatever old fruit was left in the break room.

That second week you woke up every day with a headache, your stomach in knots before you'd even stepped inside the building for your workday. Anytime a coworker or your manager messaged, emailed, or chatted with you a wave of anxiety and nausea washed over you. It was like you were waiting for the worst to happen, that they'd fire you and you'd be out on the street. More than once you'd had to excuse yourself to the bathroom to cry in the safety of a sterile white linoleum room. It didn't make you feel better, but at least you weren't in crying in front of a crowd.

It all came to head on Thursday morning. You woke up exhausted. The pillow you were holding smelled like anxiety sweats and nothing like your strong Alpha. You cried, and couldn't stop crying. It was just too much, you called in sick to work. Well, you emailed your boss who replied very quickly demanding to know why you were sick. You couldn't even get out of your nest, how could you think about explaining your sensation of drowning and exhaustion to someone whose motto was "fake it till you make it"?

You did call Bucky though. If to just hear his voice for a second.

"Hey, Doll, is everything okay?"

Bucky sounded tired, like it had been a rough mission and they weren't done yet. A seed of regret burrowed in your chest. This was silly. You normally don't call when he goes away, didn't want to cause a distraction or risk exposing the team. But you just needed to hear his voice.

"Alpha," you sniffled, only to regret it a moment later. "I'm sorry I'm bothering you. I jus-just need to hear your voice. I'll let you go."

"Ome-"

You hung up the phone. Bucky would be home soon enough. You spent the rest of the day in your nest, the blankets and pillows and Bucky's favorite t-shirt were soaking up your sickly scent. One that made even your nose turn up. What kind of Omega were you if you ruined your own safe space?

Nightmares filled your mind when you tried to sleep off the exhaustion. You wished you could dream of Bucky. The more you wallowed, the further away he felt. Negative thoughts began to creep up, starting with work and ending with you being the worst omega in history.

You were so deep, so lost in the ocean of your own thoughts you didn't hear Bucky even come into the room. The knife in your hand and spike in fear in the nest told him as much. He grabbed your wrist, pressing down on the gland there to help soothe your fear and taking the weapon from your hand. Bucky’s a little proud, he can’t help himself. Even when you are clearly a hair’s breadth from having a breakdown, you remember that Bucky’s defense lessons.

“Baby, baby, baby,” Bucky pulled you into his lap, scenting you and squeezing your body to his chest trying to calm you down.

The nest stunk. He made a mental note to wash everything in the room tonight. He’d strip the bed and get second-string blankets from the closet. They weren’t your favorites, but he knew if he scented them you’d sleep a bit easier.

“You’re home early,” you murmured into his chest.

“Mmm, when my ‘mega calls me crying and then hangs up on me, I can’t not come home,” Bucky scooped you up and took you out of the room.

“I’m sorry.”

Bucky grunted, letting you know exactly what he thought of that. He’d tear the world down and rebuild if that would make you happy. You were his omega. He turned into the bathroom and set you on the counter. Baths fix all problems, or so you once told him when he complained about aches and pains.

“Did you go to work today?” He asked.

“No,” you sounded guilty, like taking time for yourself was forbidden.

“Good, you aren’t going tomorrow either.”

He had to put a foot down, even when you made a whine of protest. Bucky started removing your clothes, throwing the offensive things away, and showing you two different bags of bath salts. He knew you liked both, but he wanted you to choose, to give you something to feel accomplished about.

You pointed at the one you wanted and he shook probably too many into the hot water. Bucky picked you up off the counter and settled you into the water.

"Don't move, don't think, just relax for me babydoll."

You didn't protest, only out of desire to please your Alpha. Bucky wasn't gone long, but you heard the ring of the washing machine being started. He came back into bathroom stripped down. You stared at him, enchanted by your Alpha. What had you done to deserve him?

As he slid in behind you, wrapping his arms around you, you asked him as much with fresh tears in your eyes.

"No more crying, Omega," Bucky scented your neck. "Let your Alpha love on you. You look more beat up that Sam, and he was thrown off a truck."

You smiled a little at that, wrapping your fingers in his. Bucky didn't look like he'd taken any hits and that was something to be thankful for. There was a rumble in his chest, even with the strong bath salts he could smell the anxiety slipping from your scent.

"I missed you," he confessed, "thought about you everyday."

"I thought about work," you admitted, sadness leaking into your tone. "But I missed you, too. Every day I wished you'd be here when I got home to threaten to break my laptop."

"Mmm don't tempt me, Doll. I might break my parole to give that dick a piece of my mind."

"At this point, I wouldn't stop you," you chuckled and sank deeper into his chest. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Wanna hear about what those two idiots did on the mission?"

⋆★⋆ ════════ ⋆★⋆ ════════ ⋆★⋆

For the first times in months it felt like, you woke up almost clear headed. There was no headache, your stomach cramps, just an ache between your legs from where your alpha showed you just how much he really missed you for the past two weeks. You pulled on the shirt he left at the end of the bed and headed to the kitchen in search of that Alpha.

"Doll, I got breakfast from the bakery on 3rd."

"What time is it?" You yawned and wrapped your arms around Bucky.

"Like 10:30," he kissed your temple before rubbing his chin over your head, purring lightly.

Your head hit his chest and you whimpered, the thought of the messages and emails you undoubtedly had making the overwhelming churning in your tummy return. Bucky shushed you softly, rubbing his hand over your back, scenting you, doing everything an alpha could do to comfort his omega.

"I handled it, Doll. You've got a meeting on Monday to discuss your new working conditions and until then you are gonna let me love on you. I've got two whole weeks of missing you to make up for."

2K notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

Everyone is nostalgic and no one is sincere. Do you get the idea

66K notes · View notes

kiritella · 3 months

Text

wounds don't heal overnight | b.barnes

pairing; dad!bucky barnes x daughter!reader

summary; after returning home from a particularly hard mission, your father takes it upon to patch you up.

characters; uncle!steve rogers and alpine

warnings; blood, injuries and swearing

my notes; original on @1-800-romanoff. i don't see enough of parent!bucky (at least as far as i am aware)

2.0k

Wounds. Every Avenger who has set foot on the battlefield returns home riddled with them.

Some end up with severe and (on occasion) life-threatening injuries, while others return home with scratches and bruises. Seeing injuries and seeing someone bleed out no longer holds the same fear and anxiety for the Avengers as it would for a normal person.

Travelling back to the compound took longer than originally anticipated, much to everyone's dismay.

You took the worst hit; your bleeding abdomen and bloody nose were visual proof that easily backed up the statement. Applying as much pressure as you can, you wince at the amount of blood that has begun seeping through your suit.

"Hang on, Y/n/n. We are almost there." The voice came across as a reassuring muffle as you zoned in and out of your thoughts, each time wincing at the pain you felt. But even as a muffle, you knew exactly who it belonged to. Your 'uncle'.

The second the Quinjet touched down in the hangar bay, you felt his arm wrap around your shoulder.

Normally, you'd protest against the idea of being held up by someone else (you'd like to think you were capable of walking on your own), but your injuries left you in such a bad state that the only thing you could do was lean into his touch and screw your eyes shut as the pain continued to shoot through your body.

"Alpine? Dad?" You hoarsely called out the second you were dragged into the empty hangar bay.

You hoped that your voice came out loud enough for your cat and dad to hear you and walk right up to you and your uncle. Almost immediately, your dad makes his way over to where you two stood, the little white cat prancing happily underneath every heavy footstep he takes.

"Holy shit!" Bucky's eyes widened in shock as he reached forward to gently pull you out of Steve's grasp (which loosened the second Bucky came into view) and into his own. "What the fuck did you do out there, Y/n/n?"

Ever since you were a young girl, your dad, the 'cold-hearted' Winter Soldier, despised seeing you in any form of pain. Everyone knows that seeing you in such a bad state was like torture to him.

So being greeted by Steve holding you up as your left arm was wrapped protectively over your abdomen (which was oozing with blood) and a blood-soaked tissue pressed up against your broken nose to prevent blood loss was killing him on the inside.

"It's just a scratch." You tease, trying to make light of the situation. Instead of laughing, your father gave you a look that pulled a sheepish smile onto your lips.

Not a second later, Alpine curls around your leg and flicks her tail to sit down at your feet. "Hi, Piney." You whisper down at the cat with a small, painful smile.

"A fucking big one." He grumbles as he slowly begins leading you in the direction of the hangar bay's exit. "Come on, Alpine," Bucky calls over his shoulder as he begins dragging you over to the compound's infirmary, where you could get your injuries assessed.

The infirmary is one of the biggest facilities in the compound, and yet, apart from Bruce, who was busy cleaning someone else's minor wound, it was like a ghost town. Rows and rows of hospital beds, the stench of disinfectant, and fluorescent lights greet you as your father drags you further and further into the infirmary.

The only other sound that could be heard over the footsteps belonging to you and your dad and the murmurs of Bruce was the sound of small paws running after you.

"Sit your ass down!" Your dad ordered harshly, but you knew he was concerned, making you nod and follow his order to sit down on the bed.

Bucky makes a beeline for some medical equipment; from your space on the bed, you could hear him dismiss Bruce's attempts to look at your seeping wounds (he claims that he's 'able to patch his own daughter's wounds up, thank you').

Lost in the pain that was searing through your abdomen and nose, you barely acknowledge a small head that nudges your free hand. Absentmindedly, your fingertips reach behind her ears to give them a gentle scratch.

"Hiya, Alpine. Did you keep Dad sane while I was away?" You ask softly as if the cat would suddenly start speaking.

Seconds later, Bucky returns to the bed that you and the cat were sitting on with a first aid kit and extra gauze in his metal hand. He places the equipment on the bed before reaching forward to gently pry your arm away from your abdomen, causing you to wince and hiss as the cold air hits it.

His eyes widened in shock at how large your wound was. "Holy shit, why the hell didn't you tell me? You could've passed out!"

"I was applying pressure to it, just like you and Uncle Stevie taught me to do," you reply, causing your father to shake his head in disappointment.

"And in that space of time, you could've passed out from too much blood loss," Bucky replies, continuing to shake his head and fumble with the first aid kit.

"Please tell me you know how to stitch up a wound," you beg softly.

"Doll, you know being in the war came with the ability to stitch up a wound," Bucky replies as he slowly begins to dab a wet cloth over your abdomen.

You hissed loudly at the coolness of the cloth and at the fact that he didn't have a full idea of what he was doing.

"Of course," you wince at the pain, "how could I forget that you and Uncle Steve were in the war?" You asked, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

"Watch that tone, young lady," Bucky warns with a small smile tugging on his lips as your fingertips continue to scratch behind Alpine's ears. "This is going to hurt, doll."

You immediately bite down on your bottom lip before nodding as a way to prepare yourself for the pain.

"You're going to give me and your uncle a heart attack one day with the number of injuries you have on missions," Bucky adds into the settled silence, causing you to attempt to chuckle through the pain, which doesn't work as it sends more pain-searing through your body and near your wound.

"Sending you and Uncle Steve into cardiac arrest is serious considering you are both 100-odd years old." You joke with a light chuckle.

Your dad quickly reaches forward to gently pinch your forearm with his metal hand. "Ouch." You jut out your bottom lip, making your dad smile softly.

"Y/n..." Bucky's tone reaches a warning point. "What have I told you about bringing up our ages?"

You huff loudly before carefully folding your arms over your chest. You've had the lecture of 'Now, as you are aware, your uncle and I are around 100 years old, but that does not give you the right to make jokes about it,' but as you can see, that lecture was pointless as you kept making small digs as it is.

"Just because you guys are old like fossils," Bucky glares daggers at you as you shrug, "it doesn't mean that I should make jokes about it because making jokes about people's age is rude. I know, Dad, you've given me this lecture many times, and yet I still do it."

Bucky shakes his head just as he finishes stitching you up. He then begins looking around the area for the gauze that was just out of his reach; luckily for him, Alpine gently nudged the roll with her head, sending it rolling over to Bucky.

She meowed softly as her tail curled around her.

"Thanks, Alpine." He scratches her head before picking up the white stretchy fabric to begin wrapping it around your torso. He ties a knot in the back before grabbing another clean cloth to tend to your bloody nose.

"Your grandma would've been furious seeing how easily and badly injured you get. I wish you could have seen her face when Steve got into trouble." Bucky chuckles, causing you to join to the best of your ability.

You always enjoyed hearing stories about your grandparents or your father and uncle when they were younger, and this was no exception.

"Don't act like you didn't get into trouble yourself too, Buck." Your uncle's voice echoes through the empty infirmary, making you both jump.

You glance over your dad's shoulder to see your uncle, who looked exhausted, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. "How're you doing, kiddo? You scared me back there."

"Apart from being in a shit ton of pain—"

"Y/n! Language!" Bucky barks, causing you to smile sheepishly.

"-I'm doing much better. I feel just as exhausted as you look, though." You comment with a smile just as Steve pushes himself off of the wall to make his way over to your bed.

"You were always the one that got into trouble physically, Steve. I was the one pulling you out of them." Bucky says, referring back to Steve's first comment, which causes Steve to clap Bucky on the back before sitting down on the bed next to you.

The bed dips slightly under his pressure as he carefully wraps his arm around your shoulder. At the sudden dip in the hard mattress, Alpine climbs onto your lap and begins to softly purr.

"What on earth are we going to do with you, Y/n/n?" Steve asks as he gently squeezes your shoulder.

"We better wrap her head to toe in that, uh, plastic thing with bubbles that makes the popping sound when you press down on them." You burst into laughter at your dad's attempt to identify something he was unfamiliar with.

Seeing as you were born during this time, you would often spend your free time educating your father and uncle on what things are called and what their purpose is. The current topic is mobile phones.

"Bubble wrap, Dad." Bucky clicks his fingers as he hums in agreement. You shake your head before turning to your uncle with a tired smile. "Have you figured out how to use the internet or how to call and text someone yet, Uncle Steve?"

"No, using a mobile phone is a lot harder than you'd expect," Steve replies nonchalantly. "At least it is for someone mine and your father's age."

"You're doing well, though; practice makes perfect." You stifle a loud yawn and blink back the urge to sleep as you run your fingertips up and down Alpine's back.

"Come on, doll. You need sleep; you can talk to your uncle tomorrow." Bucky orders quietly as he makes a swift move to pick the sleeping cat off of your lap, much to her dismay, to help you up.

You smile tiredly over at your uncle as your dad wraps his free arm around your shoulder to hold you up.

"Good night, Uncle Steve." You mumble quietly.

"Good night, Y/n/n," Steve replies, matching your tiredness.

At a slow and steady pace, you found yourself standing outside your bedroom door. With little struggle, you push open the door to let Alpine strut into your bedroom so she can curl up on your bed (even though she has her own) before turning to hug your dad goodnight.

"No contact with water for a couple of days." He orders as he wiggles his finger in your face. "I love you, doll. Goodnight."

"I love you too, Dad. Night." You murmur before staggering into the dark and cold bedroom.

You gently push the door shut with the palm of your hand before stumbling through the dimly lit room and over to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

One thing is for sure: there are no more missions going to be planned for you, at least not on your father's watch.

143 notes · View notes