kirkwll

[kirkwll]

His deepening frown does little to dissuade her course of action. In fact, it only serves to make her smirk a bit as she works. Her youthful heart flutters at a thought—the thought of kissing that frown, and seeing how he reacts then.

She isn't a marriage option, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings. And if she were? If she could? In her mind's eye, the last petal falls from her wildflower, and assurances that he feels the same fills her.

As his eyes open, the way he stares at her is entrancing. He stumbles over his words, and Sioned can only smile encouragingly, a strange hopefulness in her gaze. If only she weren't playing out some sort of fantasy, pretending for just a moment that she were the girl his parents had set his sights on.

But he scoffs, and sweet becomes sweat, and her hopeful expression twists to something petulant but humorous. She shoves him, laughing with him, then huffs down beside him. "Well!" she says with exuberance and—something like disappointment. "If you're going to give up that easily, Lorin, I think you're right not to get married."

The smirk she aims his way is as teasing as his comment regarding her scent had been.

His mouth frowns heavily as she notes she is not an option. It mattered little if she was one or not, at least in the scheme of his question. Opening his mouth to speak, he stops as she leans forward, fussing with his hair. The frown deepens and his eyes close as he lets her touch him, thinking how similar this was when the maids tried to make him a bit more presentable before seeing his mother. At least she didn't lick a thumb and wipe off the smudge of dirt on his cheek.

Eye finally open, landing directly on her face. He wasn't sure what it was - maybe the way she was a little taller than him sat on her knees, or the way her hair shone in the summer afternoon light - but there was something ethereal about her in this moment. It made his heart hammer in his chest.

"Y-you look... y-ou smell swee..." he stumbles, mouth going dry, words mushing together like one does when the parchment is used and the letters don't work. She was beautiful like this, and he was just now noticing for the first time ever that she was. How could he have been so blind? His friend, the one that swong swords with him, cussed and got muddy? Sioned was not an option to marry, but perhaps--

Embarrassed that he is so taken by her, he shakes off the feeling, scoffing, "Well you smell like sweat, for one," he laughs, waving his hands in a dramatic fashion, "playing pretend won't fix it. I just won't marry! I will tell them I refuse." He says with finality.

[kirkwll]

This time when Creature returns with the ball, Sioned coaxes him over to her with an open, waiting palm, and rubs the top of his head and one of his ears generously with her other hand. She follows Lorin's example, rubbing the slobber off on the ground, before tossing the ball out into the field.

It's enough of a distraction for her not to laugh a little bit that the girl had yawned at her friend. Sioned has theories about why that might have been—boys sometimes have such a skewed perspective on what girls are interested in—but whatever hoity-toity girl his parents were setting him up on... Well, very likely Sioned doesn't know what she is interested in.

Lorin displays himself, and asks his charged question, and the tips of Sioned's ears turn pink under her mess of golden curls. But he wants honesty, so she'll provide it;

"I don't think I'm really an option, Lorin," she says with a laugh, and on the other side of her, her hand curls around the wildflower, crushing it. "But maybe if you..." Shifting, she moves to sit on her knees in front of him, paying no mind to the grassy stains that will mark her dress. She reaches out and fusses a bit with his hair, then moves to loosen his tunic around his neck, and finally meets his eyes.

"Now, try complimenting me."

"You'd think that would be what mattered most," he bemoans, watching Creature - or at least, where he assumes he is, based on how the tall grass shuffle and bends to the weight of the beast - hunt for his ball, "but no, there is something about appearances, and the fact that he has two sons. They have even gone so far as to set me on little visits with a girl," he huffs again, legs crossing at the ankles, swapping which leg was on top, before hands settle in his lap. Fingers pick at the skin around his thumbnail, nervous, anxious.

In truth, his father placed a lot of stock on him marrying and carrying on the line. Fergus would rule Highever, sure, but Lorin would be in Denerim; a member of the King's court, a general of the King's army. Expendable, Lorin had said once, and he had been sent to bed with no dinner. His parents did not like the implication. Neither did he.

But Delilah, she had no interest in Lorin. It was painfully obvious. He did as his brother had suggested - talked about his wins in sparring, bragged about the kills he made on family hunts, showed off his new sword. All of it was of no interest to her, "She bloody yawned at me!" He guffawed, "It was... rude." And frankly, he only cared because she was beautiful and he was... himself. Lanky, floppy haired, and trying to find his place.

Lorin turned to face Sioned, straightening his tunic, gesturing at himself. Never mind the sweat or bits of dirt from their climbing and adventuring out here, he wanted an honest opinion and she'd give it.

"Would you marry me?" He gestures, the question general, but seemingly loaded.

[kirkwll]

As Lorin—the Cousland boy, as her father calls him—tosses a ball for his mabari, Sioned plucks a wildflower growing beside her and begins silently pulling the petals off, one by one. An old rhyme plays in her head, but she doesn't voice it, instead watching the hound bound away with a small smile.

She'd like to have one, one day, a mabari. Maybe one day soon; her father seems to have high hopes for staying in Highever. If she can keep a low profile, which she notes is unlikely with the companion sitting beside her. Really, the Cousland boy? her father had groaned, then turned to her mother. She is your daughter.

Sioned hadn't seen the issue with that. And, as Lorin huffs beside her, she hopes she never does. He asks about someone not even wanting to get married, and Sioned stares at the last petal on her wildflower, setting it aside without finishing the rhyme.

"I don't see the issue, either," she says, the way only someone else of Lorin's age, and a commoner to boot, could. "Can't your brother carry on whatever it is they expect you to make an heir for? And besides," she shrugs and crosses her arms pointedly, "my parents aren't married." She won't say—she can't say—why that is; that trying to register a marriage between Malcolm Hawke, well-known apostate, and Leandra Amell, lost daughter of Kirkwall these sixteen years, would throw up too many alarms.

@kirkwll did not like for a starter but gets one anyway!

Summer sun hangs over them, sweat collecting on his brow. The tree they sit beneath acts as a good source of shade, but it cannot stop the heaviness of the sun above them. It felt harder to breathe, like it somehow had some weight to it, despite being just a phenomenon that happened every year. Frankly, once it was the middle of winter, bitter and cold, he'd complain then, too.

He was distracted - odd for him. Usually, he couldn't shut up.

The ball in his hand lets loose, flying across the open field away from them. His mabari, Creature, sets off, barking his excitement as he seeks the ball out in the tall grass, disappearing from view as his head ducks below the height of it. With a sigh, he watches, but he isn't focused on what the dog is doing.

Again, he was... distracted.

"Why the hell does it matter who marries who?" Lorin says finally, clearly letting what was bothering him escape, "Why does it matter so much? What if someone doesn't want to get married?" He huffs an annoyed sound, rubbing the drool-covered ball that is returned to hims from his lap against the ground, before tossing it once more.

[kirkwll]

writing down 9:49 as when ned becomes viscountess of kirkwall again

[kirkwll]

tried to clean up Some of my reblogs of that post and accidentally deleted ALL of the reblogs that included the bit abt sioned trying to see how far she could get in becoming a sister. whateverrrrrrr

[kirkwll]

i started thinking abt how hawke can take chantry vows to marry sebastian, including as a mage, and how absolutely nonsensical that is, and i had to pop over to this blog to say what the fuck

[kirkwll]

MAGNOLIA  CASTILLO  SENTENCE  STARTERS 

❝  what does ‘happy’ feel like?  ❞

❝  i think the real ‘monsters’ are the ones who create the monstrous things.  ❞

❝  broken things aren’t always ruined.  ❞

❝  healing isn’t always about putting yourself back together the way you were.  it’s about making something new out of the pieces that are left.  ❞

❝  they stole my voice.  this is me taking it back.  ❞

❝  dying isn’t so bad…it’s the leaving.  going away when you haven’t really even gotten to do anything yet.  ❞

❝  quiet.  the ghosts are talking.  ❞

❝  i think sometimes,  some people are just meant to carry pain.  ❞

❝  i’m not sure what love is supposed to feel like.  i’ve never really had it before…but i know i feel good with you.  warm.  like home.  ❞

❝  there are some things worse than death.  would you like to see them?  ❞

❝  you can get used to any pain.  but loneliness,   that’s what makes you break.  ❞

❝  the only thing that saved me was me.  ❞

❝  i didn’t survive…i just didn’t die.  there’s a difference.  ❞

❝  please stop lying i’m trying to think.  ❞

❝  i’ve always been at home among the haunted things.  ❞

❝  the world is too big.  and i don’t know how to be in it anymore.  ❞

❝  i’ve seen what ‘bad’ looks like.  you’re one of the good ones,  trust me.  ❞

❝  i think i’m afraid to heal,  because that means i can be broken again.  ❞

❝  there is good in the world.  i know there is.  i just don’t think i get to have it in my life.  ❞

❝  you have to hold on to the little joys when you find them.  ❞

❝  everything in nature is about balance.  i think the spiritual world is like that too.  maybe,  if my life is so filled with darkness and hurt,  someone else out there is getting nothing but light and warmth.  someone who deserves it.  ❞

❝  i don’t want to hide anymore.  ❞

❝  sometimes it’s easier to believe there’s something wrong with me.  it’s easier than if i didn’t deserve all those things and people knew that and chose to hurt me anyway.  that just seems worse somehow.  ❞

❝  you have a very messy brain.  ❞

❝  do you think the moon gets lonely?  ❞

❝  when i was little i used to believe fairies made it rain.  i think i just wanted the world to feel magical.  ❞

❝  people always go away.  even if they don’t mean to.  no one stays.  ❞

❝  anything can be a cage.  ❞

❝  at least,  no one can touch my soul.  that’s mine.  that will always be mine.  ❞

❝  time doesn’t speak to me.  ❞

❝  embrace your chaos…hug your demons.  ❞

❝  there are things you can never forget once you know them.  ❞

❝  don’t go poking around this stuff…it pokes back.  ❞

❝  i just live in each second as it comes.  that’s all i have.  ❞

❝  the only thing we can really control is ourselves.  but there’s a power in that.  only you get to decide what kind of person all the hard things turn you into.  ❞

❝  i feel like i don’t know much of anything anymore.  ❞

❝  a body is just something you’re stuck inside.  it’s not really you.  just a place to stay for a little while.  ❞

❝  i don’t know why people like to hurt me.  they just do.  ❞

❝  i killed him but,  now there’s a mess.  ❞

❝  i want to help.  please?  i just want to do something good.  ❞

❝  i’m not very brave.  or strong.  i broke.  they broke me…but i’m still here.  ❞

❝  i got blood on my dress.  i really like that dress.  ❞

❝  there are so many secrets in my head i never asked for.  ❞

❝  i’m in here.  i’m inside this body.  there’s still a person in here and it’s mine.   it’s my body.  i’m tired of so many people acting like it isn’t.  ❞

❝  i don’t really sleep much anymore.  but it’s okay,  someone has to keep the moon company.  ❞

❝  i’m so angry.  it’s always there.  but if i let it out i’m afraid i’ll never stop.  ❞

❝  i didn’t think i’d still be alive by now.  i’m not really sure what to do now that i am.  ❞

❝  everyone’s a little bit broken.  but it’s okay.  broken things can be pretty too.  that’s how mosaics are made.  ❞

❝  i don’t want anyone to hurt the way i’ve hurt.  no one deserves that kind of pain.  ❞

❝  i’ll be gentle with your heart.  ❞

❝  i like your soul.  it’s beautiful.  ❞

❝  you have a pretty brain.  ❞

❝  the pain gets better.  it won’t go away completely but.  you get used to it.  it will get easier to breathe,  bit by bit until you don’t really notice it anymore.  ❞

❝  let me make it better.  please?  ❞

❝  you’re hurting.  i can tell.  you don’t have to hide it.  ❞

❝  you can’t hurt me in a way i haven’t already survived.  ❞

❝  the thing about being broken,  is it’s already done.  you know you can get through anything after that.  ❞

❝  people are kind of like art.  everyone is going to see something different when they look at you.  ❞

❝  i choose to help people because no one helped me.  i want to be that person for others that i needed.  ❞

❝  fucking dumbasshole.  ❞

❝  i’m still trying to figure out what i want to be.  ❞

[kirkwll]

nice pair of characters who trust each other more than anyone else in the whole entire world it would sure be a shame if one of them betrayed that trust for the sake of trying to keep the other alive. it would sure be a shame to love someone so much you destroy them

[kirkwll]

what if plotting call here

[kirkwll]

what if plotting call here

[kirkwll]

saving this u3u

[kirkwll]

blood mage hawke is actually lowkey hilarious. gonna live in a city where the veil is so thin, calling on the fade is actually probably absurdly easy and could make for some wildly powerful magic—but nevermind about all that, i'm killing guys left and right anyway, might as well use their blood while i'm at it

[kirkwll]

STARKHVN. The demon didn't lie. I used to be bitterly jealous of my brother. I wanted to be prince. Now everything he had is mine, and he lies in ashes. I keep asking myself: do I want this because it's right or simply to have what I never thought I could? // Sebastian Vael, Independent & Canon Divergent, Written by Holly ©

[kirkwll]

ned should sometimes jokingly refer to carver as "carter" - this has nothing to do with the fact that i sometimes misremember his name as carter

[kirkwll]

ned: i lost my dear brother a year ago carver from the templar training yard: quit telling everyone i'm dead! ned: sometimes i can still hear his voice

[kirkwll]

approval + committing to becoming prince

i'm not finding the approval meme you know how it goes just send it in

approval unchanged

Sioned's proud of him, immensely so. She genuinely believes that any group of people would be lucky to have a ruler like him, who cares so much, who wants to do good and specifically sees those who struggle and wants to help them. That he isn't overly invested in the opinions of other nobility or the gentry—certainly not to the extent that it blinds him to the needs of the many—only solidifies for her that if anyone should rule, it's someone like him.

But she would be proud of him regardless.

If he chose to dedicate himself to the Chantry, to fully take whatever vows a man could take, it would no less be in service to the needy. She would equally think, if anyone should be a member of the clergy, it's someone who won't get wrapped up in Chantry politics, who is able to take each person as they are—who doesn't judge mages simply for being mages—and again, wants to help those most in need. How could she not be proud of that?

There is very little Sebastian could do that she wouldn't be proud of, as long as he's true to himself.

[kirkwll]

approval meme but we turn it into a thread @hoboblaidd said: APPROVAL + asking about merrill's eluvian and if they ever got it up and running and if so, where exactly it is right now. for no reason in particular.

Sioned raises a brow at the curious elvhen mage the Inquisitor keeps around. She had been sharing a story about Merrill, idle chatter, and the Eluvian had naturally come up—hard for it not to, considering how important to her it is.

But his interest in it still piques Sioned's own—hadn't the Inquisitor warned her that Solas tended not to be interested in Dalish matters? Yet here he is, asking after them... She shakes her head, dismisses her own line of questioning—look at him. What's he going to do with a few answered questions?

She's just being protective of Merrill, overly so. She does that, after everything. The elvhen woman hardly needs Sioned's protective glares and sharp warnings, but—it is what women like her do.

"I don't believe she's been able to use it, yet, no," she answers slowly, setting aside her cup of wine on the table between them. Her brow relaxes. "It's in Kirkwall still—in her home." And then she smirks, as Hawke does.

"It's not the finest of home decor, a bit gaudy, but it is a conversation-starter."