kissmeinfrenchh

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Heavy on this!

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mars black

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“I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend.”

— Courage to Change: One Day at a Time (Al-Anon.)

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That dream was a trigger. But what could've beens and what ifs are of no use to me. I've never been one to dwell in the past. I don't even take much pictures - except for when I'm with my girlfriend. But photos, flowers - even notes - as mementos? Not me.

Yet tonight I feel melancholic. And I keep going back to that dream. It isn't even about the person in my dream, but who I would've been if things turned out differently. I don't feel lost at the moment. I know the feeling. I've felt it for years. And this is not it. It's a different kind of... itch, for lack of better word, that I couldn't scratch.

What more can I ask God for? Sure, my life's not perfect. But I'm actually doing good financially, I've been eating healthy and exercising regularly, my relationship is questionable but I need the peace yknow? I need the stability it brings me. And God healed our broken family, which is one of the biggest miracles He's granted me. What more could I possibly ask for? God has given me everything and I am super grateful. I'm grateful everyday, He knows it (shoutout to my God and Savior, Jesus).

So... what is this I'm feeling? Is it the future Frances crying out because I decided to bury her in order to stay who I am now? Where I am now? There's always gonna be a version of me that's silenced by my indecision and cowardice.

But I made a promise to be gentler and kinder to myself from now on. So take your time, Frances. No one's rushing you. You are who you are supposed to be at this point in time and space. There will be more dreams ahead, and by that I know that God is with you. So stay true to who you are now, don't go back to the old toxic patterns just because they're familiar. That's not who you are anymore. Know this... as surely as the sun rises tomorrow, we will eventually meet our healed, whole, and higher self one Tuesday morning. So for now, rest, eat, and trust God.

-Frances in 3/26/25

[kissmeinfrenchh]

I love personalization. I love stickers on water bottles and on laptops. I love shitty marker drawing on the toes of converse. I love hand embroidered doodles on jeans. I love posters on walls. I love knick knacks on shelves. I love jewelry with goofy charms. I love when people take things and make them theirs.

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The stuff of your dreams

To 14yr old Frances, You’re sitting on a cool camping chair in the balcony of the house like a frickin badass. Oh yea, we live in a 2 story house now just like what you’ve always wanted! It’s 5:20 in the afternoon and you can see pink and orangey clouds as the sun begins to set.

Ate meng and ate che are in the living room glued to their phone screens. Mercedes is in her room probably listening to music while scrolling thru tiktok. It has been a surreal couple of months ever since we moved into this house. God has really been so kind and gracious to us 😌 you didnt have a relationship yet with Jesus but He has always been with us the whole time! Everything you will have gone through will all lead to Him. So take heart.

Im not even sure if you know it yet, but u will hate kuya Gorio with ur whole being for what he did to ate che. But now, you have completely forgiven him and his entire family. You understand now that he’s probably hurting deep inside and he just doesnt know what to do with himself.

Papi and kuya are in Cebu but pops came to visit for his birthday and stayed for a week to celebrate our birthday. Kuya is sad…. I wish you had been kinder to him…. But its not your fault. Dont worry 😘

Do you remember when we were abput 8-9 yrs old we’ve always dreamed of a picture perfect family like what we always see in the movies? It was exactly like that except Kuya wasnt here. It may not have been perfect but it sure came close. The family didnt fight with each other. Kuya Gorio and his fam even visited and we spent a lovely morning exchanging stories. You may never have imagined life would be like this 15 years into the future. But here’s you, at 29 years old, telling you that im now living our wildest dreams. Anything really is possible with God. Its all because of Him! Now im wondering what God has in store for us bc I really thought we’d see our fam like this only when we reach our deathbed. Intrigued? So am I. But let’s continue to pray and put our faith in Him. Dont harden ur heart and be grateful when He disciplines us. Love people the same way He loved us.

After all, He did allow into existence the stuff of our dreams even when we dont deserve it!

PS: you got fatter, but im working on it!! 30 year old us, dont worry i gotchu fam 🫶🏻

[kissmeinfrenchh]

Medusa finally leaves her cave after thousands of years. She finds out her power to turn people into stone no longer works as it relies on people perceiving her to be ugly and beauty standards have drastically changed. Now she is wondering if she prefers isolation over the catcalls.

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isabelle penque

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First Reformed (2017) dir. Paul Schrader

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not yet

Not yet, or there never will be. One thing im sure of is whatever’s meant for me will not pass me by

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🌼🦋🐈🌼

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