kitchmbrs

[kitchmbrs]

[kitchmbrs]

lennxon·:

a  bubbly  laugh  emanates  the  small  space  between  them  ,  her  fond  smile  never  seeming  to  cease  when  she  was  around  k  i  t  .  he  was  intoxicating  in  his  own  way  .  besides  the  obvious  attraction  she  felt  towards  him  ,  developing  this  emotional  connection  over  the  past  couple  of  months  had  made  any  sort  of  intimacy  that  much  more  special  .  she  loved  listening  to  his  warm  voice  ,  whether  he  was  venting  or  teasing  ,  and  she  swore  his  hands  were  the  softest  on  the  planet  .  “  i  may  be  sweet  ,  but  i  don’t  just  throw  myself  on  just  anybody’s  lap  .  despite  what  the  tabloids  might  say  .  ”  poking  fun  at  herself  ,  her  laugh  was  cut  short  when  she  heard  that  (  noise  )  .  a  G R O A N  .  now  that  she  had  that  small  tease  ,  she’d  definitely  work  for  more  .  “  you  do  have  nice  legs  ,  very  sturdy  –  ”  she  pinched  lightly  at  the  squishy  flesh  ,  eying  his  thighs  before  gazing  up  to  shamelessly  enjoy  the  expanse  of  his  bare  chest  . “  ‘course  i  want  to  .  ”  lennon  admitted  with  no  hesitation  ,  plump  bottom  lip  tucked  underneath  her  pearly  whites  while  her  delicate  fingertips  began  to  trace  at  kit  .  her  touch  began  at  his  legs  ,  up  towards  the  small  bit  of  happy  trail  visible  right  above  the  belt  of  his  jeans  ,  and  stopping  flat  against  his  pecks  .  “  whatcha  mean  ?  ”  tone  dripping  with  faux  innocence  .  “  enlighten  me  ?  or  better  yet  ,  show  me  .  ” 

 can’t  help  the  smile  on  his  face.    not  really  for  any  reason  other  than  her.    her  existence    ,    the  way  he  could  just  relax  whenever  he  worked  up  to  courage  to  get  out  of  his  own  damn  head.    she  made  it  easy.    scared  him  just  in  the  slightest    ,    but  he  tried  not  to  think  on  it.    didn’t  want  to  dwell  on  it  and  mess  up  the  good  thing  they  had.    somehow  wasn’t  worried  about  what  would  happened  if  they  added  hooking  up  to  the  mix.    felt  like  they  already  had  that  element  to  them.    the  teasing    ,    the  stolen  peppered  kisses.    wasn’t  shocked  that  he  was  slowly  heading  in  that  direction.    about  damn  time    !    ❛    i  feel  special.    ❜    he  jokes    ,    though  he’s  not  exactly  lying.    did  actually  feel  special.    knew  that  what  the  two  of  them  had  was  different.    not  like  how  either  of  them  were  portrayed  in  the  media.    ❛    sturdy.    ❜    repeats  the  word    ,    almost  obvious  where  his  mind  immediately  went.    mind  has  fallen  completely  off  of  his  day.    completely  off  of  his  troubles.    focused  only  on  her.    watching  her  hands  trail  his  body.    almost  temped  to  just  pick  her  up  and  change  this  whole  situation.    ❛    mm    ––    ❜    hums  softly    ,    hands  running  over  her  sides    ,    moving  to  the  front  of  her  body.    touching  softly  anywhere  he  could.      ❛    will  show  you.    just  not  yet.    ❜    wasn’t  being  a  tease  on  purpose    ,    not  completely  at  least.    ❛    kiss  me  first.    and  than  maybe    –––  i’ll  show  you.    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

lennoxjpg.

          𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐍'𝐓 come here expecting this, nor was it surprising when it happened. somehow no matter what happened between them – who fucked who, who hurt who – there was an indescribable, magnetic force that just kept pulling them back together. they were toxic together ( that much was obvious ), but they were worse apart. whatever they did to each other when they were together got magnified a when they broke up, kit going to any lengths to draw lennox’s attention right back to what he was missing, and lennox doing whatever he had to in response to get him back. lies, manipulation, jealousy – none of these were the trademarks of a healthy relationship, but without them lennox was worried he’d be bored. if it was too easy, too simple, too calm, would he grow tired within a year? would he cheat more, harder, lie better just to make up for the lack of passion? he craved excitement, he craved delinquency, the feeling you got when you were doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing and didn’t want to get caught… “you want me.” and i want you. he said it out loud to affirm what they were both thinking, to bring what they both wanted into existence. their faces inches apart, their breath and words warm on each other’s lips, every nerve ending in his body was screaming at him to do more, touch more. his back was pressed against the door now, the firm oak grounding him against the soft touch of his lips. “i think–” he paused, was this the right thing to do? was he making a mistake getting sucked back into the cycle? some days kit was as bad as heroin, taking over his mind and his body, making him look for highs in the pleasure he brought him. but he was weak, he was an addict at heart – he couldn’t deny himself what he really wanted in that moment; kit. “i think we should look for that t-shirt now.” in your room, beneath your sheets. the things unsaid. kit could read his mind, he proved that with every touch, every whimper, every silent beg for more. yes, they fought ( hard ) but that was just a side-effect of their passion, something that only ever reached its peak in moments like these. “–in your room.”

 didn’t  know  what  to  expect  when  lennox  showed  up  at  his  door.    maybe  a  punch  in  the  jaw.    maybe  a  screaming  match.    maybe  their  clothes  shredded  over  the  floor    ,    barley  making  it  to  kit’s  room.    didn’t  matter.    what  mattered  was  that  he  was  here.    even  if  this  was  just  one  last  time.    even  if  he  just  got  to  see  his  face    ,    hear  his  voice    ,    one  more  time  that  wasn’t  through  an  interview  or  album.    wasn’t  sure  what  they  would  be  like  together  if  they  were  just  a  normal  couple.    no  cheating    ,    no  lying    ,    no  manipulation.    was  it  possible  for  them  to  just  be  together    ?    kit  didn’t  know.    he  didn’t  want  to  find  out.    would  rather  make  lennox  jealous    ,    would  rather  fuck  with  each  others  hearts  over  and  over  just  to  prove  that  though  everything    ,    they  were  still  meant  for  each  other.    not  sure  how  he  ended  up  getting  himself  involved  with  something  like  that.    supposed  that  he  was  never  really  meant  for  a  normal  relationship.    truth  was    ,    kit  didn’t  think  either  of  them  knew  how  to  have  something  normal.    healthy.    maybe  if  they  tried    ,    they’d  surprise  themselves.    kit  didn’t  know.    right  now    ,    all  he  knew  was  that  he  wanted  lennox  now.    ❛    and  you  want  me.    ❜    doesn’t  confirm.    he  doesn’t  need  to  confirm.    doesn’t  need  to  say  it    ,  lennox  knows  that  he’s  right.    kit  knows  he  should  back  off.    should  open  the  door  and  tell  him  to  leave.    they  had  finally  broken  up  after  a  cycle  of  unhealthy  habits    ,    cheating    ,    lying.    they  should  be  done  with  it.    done  with  each  other.    but  kit  couldn’t.    could  only  feel  like  crave  in  his  body  for  more.    didn’t  have  it  in  him  to  cut  himself  off  from  what  they  both  wanted.    almost  wants  to  tease  him.    try  to  get  him  to  actually  say  it  and  not  use  that  damn  t  -  shirt  as  an  excuse    ,    but  he  doesn’t  have  it  in  him  to  make  a  joke  out  of  anything  right  now.    just  wants  this.    wants  him.    ❛    come  on.    ❜    drags  him  by  his  hand  and  barley  makes  it  down  the  hall  before  he’s  stopping    ,    kissing  him  again.    just  can’t  get  enough.    wonders  if  this  would  be  it  for  them    ,    finally  the  last  time.    had  a  feeling  it  wouldn’t  be.    neither  of  them  were  good  at  resisting.    ❛    you  drive  me  fucking  crazy    ,    you  know  that    ?    ❜    speaks  it  mindlessly    ,    continuing  his  descent  to  his  bedroom  to  look  for  the  missing  shirt.

[kitchmbrs]

ofsabina.

everything  is  sabina’s  life  had  to  be  perfect.  it  was  no  wonder  that  her  mind  struggled  to  articulate  what  she  meant  sometimes.  “if  it’s  a  wet  dream  then  count  me  out,”  she  muttered.  she  clicked  her  pen  once  or  twice,  watching  kit  with  an  intense  gaze.  sabina  shrugged,  scooting  closer  to  the  other  to  look  at  her  journal.  “is  it…is  too  sad?”  pausing  for  a  moment,  sabina  continue.  “i  mean,  i  don’t  want  to  be  known  as  a  one  trick  pony,  you  know?  i’m  really  talented.”  she  wasn’t  quite  sure  if  she  was  telling  kit  or  reminding  herself.  “it’ll  sound  fuckin’  cool,  too.” 

 lets  out  a  laugh    ,    shaking  his  head.    ❛    yeah    ,    no.    no  offense    ,    sab.    ❜    due  to  multiple  circumstances    ,    he  could  assure  her  that  it  wouldn’t  be.    ❛    no.    isn’t  that  kind  of  your  vibe    ?    don’t  hold  back  your  emotions.    the  best  songs  are  the  ones  you  can  feel.    ❜    speaks  honestly    ,    reading  over  the  words  again.    ❛    i  mean    ,    as  long  as  you’re  being  genuine  about  what  you  feel  and  it’s  what  you  want  to  say    ,    then  you’ll  be  fine.    don’t  try  to  make  your  songs  less  real  because  you  think  people  don’t  want  that.    ❜    hands  her  the  book  back    ,    eyes  focusing  back  on  his.    ❛    love  the  modesty    ,    by  the  way.    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

ofmila.

          ‘  you’re  right  ,  i  am  cute  !  ‘  listens  selectively  ,  only  ever  hears  what  she  wants  to  hear  when  he  speaks  ———  why  would  she  care  what  he  really  has  to  say  ,  anyway  ??  takes  another  sip  ,  finishing  her  glass  ,  as  if  alcohol  could  make  the  encounter  easier  to  bear  .  ‘  so  you  ran  into  me  by  chance  ?  you’re  such  a  lucky  guy  ,  kitty  ——–  ‘  words  are  lined  with  laughter  ,  playful  ,  almost  mocking  .  ‘  if  it’s  a  tragedy  ,  it’s  a  greek  one  ,  for  sure  .  i  think  they  were  big  on  fate  !  ‘  

 ❛    modest  and  can’t  pick  up  on  sarcasm    ,    too    !    good  to  know.    ❜    wouldn’t  bother  repeating  himself.    wasn’t  worth  it    ,    didn’t  care  enough.    ❛    don’t  fucking  call  my  kitty    ,    thanks.    ❜    tone  drops  out  of  his  playfully  sarcastic  tone  and  into  a  more  serious  one.    truly  hated  the  name  unless  it  was  coming  from  matt.    ❛    truly    ,    i’m  one  lucky  guy.    just  love  being  absolutely  bothered  out  of  my  mind.    and  you  make  it  seem  so  easy.    ❜    eyes  rolls    ,    arms  cross  over  his  chest.    ❛    well    ,    i  don’t  know  what  greek  myth  includes  someone  being  annoyed  until  their  inevitable  death    ,    but  it’s  that  one.    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

lennxon.

a  groan  was  followed  by  kit’s  statement  regarding  questions  constantly  being  asked  about  his  ex  .  it  was  something  the  girl  was  all  too  familiar  with  herself  .  it  seemed  as  if  none  of  her  accomplishments  or  endeavors  would  ever  be  as  regarded  as  important   as  her  trail  of  ex’s  or  the  mystery  person  she  was  spotted  leaving  the  club  with  nights  prior  .  the  media  cared  only  about  what  didn’t  need  to  be  brought  to  light  ,  rather  than  what  mattered  .  “  fuck  ‘em  .  ”  she  shrugged  loosely  ,  tugging  his  hair  for  a  brief  second  .  “  next  time  someone  tries  to  ask  you  anything  related  to  your  ex  ,  call  me  .  i’ll  come  put  them  in  their  place  and  conduct  the  interview  myself  .  ”  she  chuckled  against  his  head  ,  hands  moving  from  his  dirty  blonde  locks  to  his  shoulders  .  “  very  pretty  .  would  i  be  flirting  with  you  if  i  didn’t  ?  ”  she  teased  ,  slender  digits  curling  into  his  broad  shoulders  to  begin  a  light  massage  .  lennon  saw  nothing  wrong  with  boosting  the  others  ego  ,  plus  ,  it  was  all  true  .  of  course  she  found  kit  pretty  .  inside  and  out  .  she  was  wrapped  around  his  finger  ,  putty  in  his  hands  ,  at  his  beck  and  call  .  “  it  would  make  the  massage  i’m  about  to  give  you  much  easier  .  ”  she  sing  -  songed  ,  tugging  lightly  at  the  material  ,  “  you  know  i  would  .  i  could  strip  you  ,  strip  myself  ,  make  a  whole  show  outta  it  .  ”  hands  began  to  roam  lower  down  his  back  ,  pulling  up  at  the  bottom  hem  ,  “  help  your  girl  out  ?  your  so  damn  long  .  ”  she  giggled  ,  “  makes  me  w o n d e r  what  else  is  .  ” 

 was  nice  to  get  this  off  his  chest.    it  was  something  that  had  been  bothering  him  for  a  while    –––    not  that  a  week  was  that  long    ,    but  it  felt  like  it  was  months  of  questioning  and  getting  nowhere  but  making  up  stories  that  kit  hated  his  ex’s  album.    ❛    fuck  ‘em.    ❜    repeats  the  words  with  a  laugh    ,    soft  hum  at  the  tension  on  his  hair.    ❛    i  will.    stop  the  interview  right  there  and  take  out  my  phone  and  call.    or  you  can  just  come  conduct  all  of  the  interviews  anyway.    i’ll  have  someone  write  up  a  contract.    ❜    lets  out  a  laugh  at  the  joke    ,    head  shaking  softly.    it  was  nice  to  joke  about  it    ,    considering  the  fact  that  it  had  done  nothing  but  annoy  him  all  week.    finally  had  something  to  laugh  about.    ❛    oh    ,    you’re  flirting  with  me    ?    i  hadn’t  noticed.    i  thought  you  were  just  really  nice    !    ❜    hands  are  drifting    ,    settling  against  her  hips    ,    sneaking  under  fabric  to  guide  fingertips  gently  against  her  skin.    can’t  help  the  soft  noise  that  leaves  his  lips  involuntarily  as  she  starts  to  massage  his  shoulders.    knew  that  he  fucking  needed  it.    ❛    i’m  not  that  long.    not  my  torso    ,    at  least.    i’m  like    ,    sixty    -    five  percent  leg.    ❜    had  no  clue  if  that  was  accurate  or  not    ,    but  still  leans  forward  to  remove  his  shirt  from  his  body.    ❛    if  this  becomes  a  strip  tease    ,    can  say  you’re  probably  gonna  find  out.    if  you  want  to    ,    obviously.    ❜    for  once    ,    he  probably  wasn’t  kidding.    discards  of  his  shirt  somewhere  next  to  them    ,    will  remind  himself  that  he  wants  to  see  it  on  her  later.    ❛    might  find  out  regardless.    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

How’s your quarantine going?

[kitchmbrs]

stellafms.

a huge smile was plastered onto her face . mainly for the cameras hidden around them . it was supposed to look convincing , right ? but a small part of her just really enjoyed his presence , she felt comfortable around him . what’s better than a publicity stunt where you actually like the person you’re fake dating ? nothing . or so she thought . eyes wandering up to meet his at the word babe . “ your place sounds perfect . i’m in desperate need of a gin and tonic , “ stella chuckled , stopping her movements for a second . “ where did you park your car ? or do i need to call my chauffeur ? “ she realized she had never been at his place before, she didn’t even know where he lived . excitement building up in her lower stomach .  “ too soon to show them a kiss to end our little show here ? “ she wasn’t sure how he would react to her idea . but she had always been the go big or go home type of girl . 

 now    ,    there  wasn’t  anything  orthodox  about  this  fake  relationship.    she  was  the  one   who  has  been  plastered  as  ruining  his  relationship  with  lennox.    and  yet  here  they  were    ,    together    ,    ignoring  every  person  who  asked  what  they  were.    he  didn’t  blame  her  for  ruining  his  relationship.    she  didn’t  know    ,    and  they  were  toxic  long   before  her  anyway.    maybe  it  was  for  the  best.    and  he  actually  enjoyed  being  around  stella.    she  was  kind    ,    sweet.    things  that  he  didn’t  deserve.    ❛    think  i  can  handle  that.    ❜    laughs  softly.    ❛    my  drivers  at  the  end  of  the  road    ,    just  up  there.    no  worries.    ❜    doesn’t  realize  that  he’s  driving  them  into  territories  that  he  shouldn’t.    ❛    no.    not  too  soon.    c’mere.    ❜    in  his  brain    ,    this  was  for  show.    the  way  his  arm  wrapped  around  her  waist    ,    the  soft  press  of  his  lips  against  hers.    not  a  lot    ,    but  enough  to  make  the  headlines  the  next  morning.    that  was  the  point    ,    wasn’t  it    ?    ❛    perfect.    ❜    smile  growing  on  his  lips    ,    almost  border  -  lining  a  smirk.    ❛    lets  go    ,    yeah    ?    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

ofsabina.

she  rolled  her  eyes  and  readjusted  in  her  chair,  never  quiet  comfortable.  “sure,  whatever  you  say,”  she  replies,  sarcastically,  blue  eyes  glued  to  the  pages  in  front  of  her.  her  writing  was  neat  just  like  every  other  aspect  in  her  life.  she  wrote  with  a  sparkly  pen-  it  made  her  darker  songs  appear  peppy  when  they  were  anything  but.  “you’re  welcome,”  sabina  responded  without  even  looking  up.  she  was  stuck  on  a  particular  line.  to  her,  it  sounded  like  she  was  whining  and  complaining…again.  she  didn’t  want  that.  when  he  offered  to  help,  sabina  paused.  “i-”  she  sighed  and  handed  him  the  book.  “maybe  in  your  dreams.” 

 doesn’t  respond  to  her  words    ,    but  instead  just  lets  out  a  soft    ,    breathy  laugh.    focuses  a  few  quiet  seconds  on  the  words  that  are  scribbled  on  the  page  in  front  of  him.    unlike  the  book  that  was  now  being  placed  into  his  hands    ,    kit’s  writing  was  messy.    pages  covered  in  doodles  and  scribbles  and  eraser  marks.    had  to  write  in  pencil  because  he  changed  his  mind  so  frequently.    head  always  spinning  with  words  and  lyrics.    eyes  fall  to  the  page    ,    reading  the  words.    trying  to  imagine  how  they  might  sound.    ❛    mm    ,    i’ll  let  you  know  if  i  decide  to  dream  about  you.    ❜    lets  out  another  laugh  and  focuses  again  on  the  neatly  scribed  words.    ❛    what  don’t  you  like  about  it    ?    ❜    could  be  the  nature  of  the  words    ,    but  from  his  perspective    ,    there  wasn’t  anything  wrong  with  it.    but  compliments  from  kit  weren’t  that  easy  to  come  by.

[kitchmbrs]

lennoxjpg.

          𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐗 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐍'𝐓 out of touch — well, he wasn’t out of touch from what kit was doing – the rest of the insipid los angeles celebrities he could care less about. he’d seen kit out with stella, everyone had, it was hard to be stealth when you had millions of followers and paparazzi following you everywhere you go asking who why what you were doing. lennox had assumed at the start that it was just a way for kit to act out, to play the petulant little child and try and make lennox angry and jealous and run right back to him. but when the dating rumours started, and didn’t stop… kit and stella dating? that one hurt. that was a personal jab, it was no coincidence suddenly there were rumours of his ex dating the very girl ( well, one of them ) he cheated on him with. whatever he was trying to do by getting photographed getting cozy with her, or whether it was unintentional and they really were dating, it was working. he didn’t think he’d ever wanted kit as much as he wanted him when he saw him with someone else. beautiful album, that was ringing over and over again in his head, he was revelling in the satisfaction that kit had listened and appreciated every dark thought and unsaid word that he’d put in songs partly just for him. he knew exactly what to say to stroke lennox’s ego, affirm all the feelings and thoughts he’d tried to get out in that album were heard, and by him of all people. “oh so because i fucked more i’m worse than you? we both did the same things, i just did it a few more times so i’m the villain?” ridiculous logic. it wasn’t his fault sex and drugs were thrown at him constantly in his lifestyle ( as they were kit, he just lacked a bit more willpower it seemed ) they both breeched the same trust, broke the same commitment, he just did it a little more. as far as he was concerned – they were equals. “not like me, hm?” he took the words right out of his mind. they were dangerously close now, inches apart and lennox was never one to repress his urges ( heroin addiction a testament to that ), and he wasn’t about to start now. his hands reached out, bunching up the other male’s t-shirt between his fingers, he could feel his firm chest underneath, the warmth of his skin, and it sent a tingle of excitement down his spine. “i can’t be replaced,” he said it matter-of-factly and pulled him forward, closing whatever minuscule distance still remained between the pair, leaning up so their lips met hastily. he tried to convey every emotion, every ounce of desire and jealousy he felt looking at those photos, through his lips. we’ll see who really missed who. 

 somehow    ,    kit  knew  what  he  was  doing  and  no  idea  what  he  was  doing  at  the  same  exact  time.    but  when  it  came  to  his  public  situation    ,    he  really  followed  his  own  lyrical  mantra.    digging  my  grave  to  get  a  reaction.    that  had  been  his  life  recently.    doing  anything  he  could  to  get  a  reaction.    not  just  from  the  press.    truly    ,    he  didn’t  give  a  fuck  about  tabloids.    couldn’t  seem  to  keep  himself  away  from  lennox.    wanted  his  ex  to  want  him  so  badly  that  he  came  crawling  back.    and  for  what    ?    another  round  of  toxic  behavior  that  neither  of  them  needed.    they  truly  weren’t  good  for  each  other    ,    but  at  the  same  time    ––  they  were  each  others  perfect  match.    did  something  for  each  other  that  no  one  else  ever  could.    and  it  was  intoxicating.    it  was  the  reason  kit  just  couldn’t  seem  to  let  it  go.    so  he  did  anything  he  could  for  attention    ,    including  going  forward  with  his  fake  relationship  with  stella.    wouldn’t  even  clarify  the  nature  of  what  they  were  to  lennox  unless  he  asked.    there  was  just  something  about  being  seen  with  the  girl  that  was  labeled  as  ruining  their  relationship  that  really  solidified  kits  endeavors.    was  almost  too  much  to  confront  this  entire  mess  that  he  created  on  his  own.    but  he  had  won    ,    hadn’t  he    ?    this  was  what  he  wanted.    ❛    no.    i’m  not  trying  to  paint  you  as  the  villain.    i  was  just  making  a  point.    know  that  i  did  that  shit  too.    ❜    was  hard  for  kit  not  to  when  he  knew  that  lennox  had  been  sleeping  around.    just  didn’t  know  why  they  kept  doing  this  to  each  other  when  they  both  knew  what  they  really  wanted  at  the  end  of  the  day.    each other.    eyes  glance  down  at  the  hands  that  are  now  bunched  in  his  shirt  and  then  back  up  at  lennox.    here  they  go.    falling  into  old  habits  again.    takes  only  one  pull  and  one  strep  from  kit  for  lennox  to  be  pressed  against  the  door  he  had  come  in  through.    hands  move  to  cup  his  cheeks    ,    body  flush  against  the  others  and  he  doesn’t  speak.    lets  his  response  come  out  through  the  way  he’s  returning  the  kiss.    lets  his  actions  speak  until  he  needs  to  remove  his  lips  just  for  a  second  to  breath    ,    but  doesn’t  dare  back  away.    ❛    no.    ❜    word  leaves  his  lips  breathily    ,    pausing  before  adding  context.    ❛    you  can’t  be.    but  don’t  be  so  fucking  smug  about  it.    ❜    despite  his  words    ,    there’s  a  soft  smile  on  his  face.    ❛    you  clearly  don’t  want  me  to  replace  you    ,    either.    or  else  you  wouldn’t  have  fucking  came  here.    ❜    leans  in  again    ,    this  time  with  less  demand  and  more  intent  to  prove  what  he’s  feeling.    show  him  that  this  was  exactly  what  he  wanted.

[kitchmbrs]

mattfm.

          it’s  not  often  that  matt  bonds  with  someone  the  way  he  had  with  kit  .  that  was  his  best  friend  ,  truly  .  if  there’s  one  person  he  wouldn’t  throw  under  the  bus  for  the  sake  of  upholding  his  faux - reputation  ,  it  was  probably  him  .  and  that’s  why  ,  upon  seeing  his  face  ,  he’s  reminded  that  there  are  things  to  look  forward  to  later  tonight  ,  namely  the  sweet  release  of  alcohol  as  it  flooded  his  senses  .  no  need  to  dwell  on  how  painfully  long  that  photoshoot  was  when  he  had  other  plans  to  tend  to  .  for  once  ,  his  thought  process  actually  makes  sense  .  who  knows  when  that  will  happen  again  .  “  that’s  so  cute  ,  kitty  .  why  don’t  you  write  a  song  about  how  much  you  love  me  and  then  cut  me  a  check  ?  i’m  sure  it’ll  be  a  hit  .  ”  he  jests  ,  voice  laced  with  amusement  .  that’s  how  matt  shows  he  cares  —  by  being  a  pain  in  the  ass  .  shoulders  lift  in  a  shrug  ,  “  wanted  to  make  you  feel  special  .  ”  smile  begins  to  pull  on  the  corners  of  his  lips  ,  “  yea  ?  and  why’s  that  ?  doing  actual  work  catching  up  to  you  ?  ”  he  lilts  ,  nudging  the  blond’s  arm  with  his  elbow  lightheartedly  .  “  piss  off  .  consider  it  my  charity  work  for  the  week  .  i’m  such  a  fucking  saint  .  ”

 kit  was  never  that  big  on  friendship.    wasn’t  that  he  didn’t  mind  being  friendly  with  people    ,    but  outside  of  his  band  he  didn’t  bond  with  people  that  easily.    didn’t  really  find  many  people  that  he  could  let  his  walls  down  for.    and  then  he  met  matt    ,   and  it  was  just  easy  to  exist  around  him.    easy  to  call  him  his  best  friend.    fully  aware  of  the  others  faux    -    rep  and  didn’t  really  care    ,    was  happy  to  do  whatever  he  could  to  support  him    ,    even  if  that  meant  ridiculously  long  photoshoots    &    calming  him  down  from  a  potential  blow  out.    wasn’t  uncommon  for  kit  to  scout  out  cameras  to  make  sure  they  didn’t  catch  matt’s  private  behavior    ,    either.    ❛    oh    ,    i  didn’t  tell  you    ?    lover  of  mine  is  definitely  about  you.    ❜    lets  out  a  breathy  laugh    ,    shoulder  knocking  against  matt’s  ever  so  slightly.    ❛    wow.    what  a  gentleman    !    how  did  i  get  so  lucky    ?    ❜    jokes  back    ,  smile  widening  across  his  features.    ❛    yeah.    it’s  just  exhausting  being  me    ,    you  know    ?    you  wouldn’t  understand.    ❜    shoulder  shrug  playfully.    ❛    the  charity  of  kit’s  drinking  habits  thank  you    ,    truly.    we’re  blessed  to  have  your  donation.    i  don’t  know  what  the  charity  would  do  without  your  support    !    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

robynfm.

          she’s  already  clocked  him  at  the  other  end  of  the  room  ,  &  prays  there’s  enough  bodies  between  them  for  her  to  go  undetected  .  but  of  course  ,  no  such  luck  .  perhaps  it  was  rude  of  her  to  ignore  kit’s  civil  greeting  ,  but  she  can’t  trust  herself  to  acknowledge  the  male  without  the  flush  of  crimson  cheeks  betraying  her  .  it’s  only  at  his  following  words  that  she’ll  turn  &  eyes  widen  in  apparent  horror  ,  as  she  scolds  the  male  with  a  single  look  ,  “  do  you  have  to  speak  so  damn  loud  ?  “  the  irony  being  that  there’s  little  subtlety  in  the  hushed  growl  of  her  response  .  robyn  can  hardly  recall  how  long  it  had  been since  their  last  encounter  ,  but  she’s  certainly  not  forgotten  how  the  night  had  unfolded  (  despite  many  attemps  )  .  suddenly  ,  the  gin  in  hand  that  she’s  struggled  to  nurse  for  the  past  hour  ,  or  more  ,  becomes  all  that  more  appealing  as  she  takes  a  long  swig  .  “  —  look  ,  “  a  short  sigh  ,  “  i’m  not  pretending  ,  i’m  just……  choosing  not  to  acknowledge  it  .  there’s  a  difference  .  “   is  there  ?

 lets  out  a  bitter  scoff  and  leans  forward    ,    lips  ghosting  past  her  cheek  and  volume  of  his  voice  dropping.    ❛    would  you  rather  me  whisper  in  your  ear    ?    could  make  this  the  normal  if  you’d  prefer.    ❜    pulls  back  only  to  reveal  the  smirk  that’s  made  it  way  onto  his  face.    wasn’t  really  sure  by  robyn  had  decided  she  wanted  to  erase  kit  from  her  mind.    sure    ,    she  wasn’t  that  type  but  was  he  really  that  un  -  reputable  that  she  wanted  to  forget  the  whole  thing    ?    call  him  cocky    ,    but  he  wasn’t  imagine  it  would  be  because  of  performance.    ❛    i  mean    ,    i’m  not  going  to  argue  your  logic  or  your  specifics.    ❜    speaks  plainly    ,    head  tilting  to  the  side  and  sending  blonde  curls  messily  toppling  over.    ❛    i’m  just  curious  as  to  why  you’re  choosing  not  to  acknowledge  it.    you’re  really  hurting  my  ego    ,    you  know.    ❜    last  part  was  more  sarcastic  than  anything    ,    but  he  wouldn’t  lie  and  say  he  didn’t  want  to  know.    he  absolutely  would  get  to  the  bottom  of  it.    ❛    so.    why  don’t  we  do  a  shot  together  and  you  can  tell  me  what  the  fuck  is  up    ,    hm    ?    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

ofmila.

          wants  nothing  more  than  to  go  home  ,  but  takes  another  sip  of  her  drink  instead  (  her  publicist’s  watchful  gaze  hangs  heavy  on  her  back  ,  keeping  her  from  leaving  )  ,  eyes  scanning  the  room  for  a  half  -  familiar  face  ———  land  on  kit  ,  amusement  clear  as  it  spreads  over  gentle  features  .  he  poses  a  challenge  ,  makes  her  blood  boil  in  a  way  that’s  almost  exciting  .  ‘  kit  .  ‘  she’ll  raise  her  glass  ,  as  if  in  toast  ,  before  bringing  it  up  to  her  lips  .  ‘  unfortunately  ,  i’m  here  for  bussiness  .  but  since  you  made  the  effort  to  find  me  in  this  crowd  ,  i  simply  can’t  deny  you  my  company  ,  can  i  ??  ‘

 really  didn't  enjoy  parties  that  much  when  he  was  behaving  himself.    it  was  always  more  fun  when  he  got  up  to  shit    ,    so  what  better  to  do  than  this    ?    ❛    cute  that  you  think  this  took  effort  or  that  i  searched  for  you  even  in  the  least.    ❜    just  happened  to  run  into  her    ,    and  wished  he  hasn’t    !    ❛    was  just  walking  and  now  i’m  in  this  situation.    a  true  tragedy.    ❜    guess  it  really  wasn’t  the  worst  thing  that  could’ve  happened.    can  imagine  a  few  people  he’d  want  to  avoid  more  than  mila    ,    but  that  didn’t  mean  he  wanted  to  see  her.    swore  she  annoyed  him  on  purpose    !

[kitchmbrs]

lennxon.

with  their  warmth  engulfing  the  two  of  them  ,  lennon  could’ve  easily  been  lulled  to  sleep  .  between  kit’s  soothing  voice  ,  to  the  rise  and  fall  of  his  chest  she  was  pressed  against  ,  it  was  like  a  personal  lullaby  .  she  wasn’t  one  to  ever  fall  asleep  easily  ,  so  now  knowing  this  could  work  ,  she’d  probably  be  the  one  calling  him  in  need  next  time  .  but  now  ,  she’d  keep  alert  and  awake  .  taking  in  each  and  every  word  that  fell  from  his  pink  lips  .  especially  that  remark  about  him  on  his  knees  for  her  .  if  he  only  knew  how  often  her  mind  wandered  into  thoughts  like  that  .  “  they  ask  you  what  you  think  about  things  ?  lucky  you  .  ”  she  teased  ,  tone  playful  before  softening  a  bit  .  as  much  as  they  joked  around  ,  lennon  always  made  a  point  of  making  sure  kit  knew  she  took  his  words  to  heart  .  she’d  sit  and  hear  everything  weighing  on  him  all  night  if  needed  .  “  it  sucks  ,  i  know  .  you  released  an  incredible  album  ,  had  all  of  these  different  feelings  swirling  around  in  that  pretty  head  of  yours  and  now  that  it’s  out  ,  they  don’t  give  two  shits  .  it’s  all  people  ask  you  about  before  it’s  released  ,  then  boom  it’s  out  and  everyone  wants  to  jump  onto  something  new  .   ”  moving  her  arms  to  hug  him  more  ,  both  hands  carded  through  his  messy  locks  while  her  lips  pressed  absentminded  kisses  every  so  often  where  they  could  .  “  i’ll  just  make  sure  my  hair  is  big  for  the  added  inches  .  ”  she  laughs  along side  him  ,  wiggling  her  bottom  ever  so  lightly  against  his  lap  .  “  i  quite  like  the  one  you’re  sporting  now  ?  maybe  we  can  see  just  how  good  i  look  in  it  before  you  leave  .  ya  know  ,  just  in  case  i  gotta  be  you  next  week  .  ”

 he  was  finally  comfortable    ,    letting  his  walls  down  slowly.    was  easy  around  her  to  just  open  up  and  not  worry  about  anything.    was  almost  like  he  wasn’t  kit  chambers  around  her.    was  just  kit.    didn’t  have  to  be  anything  he  didn’t  feel  like  being.    didn’t  have  to  be  composed  for  an  interview  or  for  the  cameras    ,    didn’t  have  to  be  a  picture  perfect  friend.    could  just  hold  her  in  his  arms  and  everything  else  melted  away.    was  a  nice  break  from  his  life  and  was  happy  to  offer  the  same  thing  to  her.    ❛    they  ask  me  what  i  think  about  my  exes  bands  new  album.    not  my  bands  album.    not  upcoming  projects.    just  that.    ❜    so  maybe  he  was  exaggerating  the  slightest    ––    it  wasn’t  just  that.    but  it  felt  like  it  was.    felt  like  that’s  all  they  cared  about.    and  it  was  hard  for  him  to  deal  with.    knew  that  she  was  just  joking    ,    but  didn’t  mean  he  wasn’t  going  to  let  his  walls  drop    &    tell  her  what  was  going  on  in  his  head.    wasn’t  often  that  he  felt  comfortable  enough  to  talk  to  someone  like  this    ,    so  he  might  as  well  take  advantage  of  that.    ❛    so  you  think  i’m  pretty    ,    huh    ?    ❜    in  efforts  to  not  sound  so  sappy    ,    he  refuses  to  address  the  rest  of  what  she  said.    but  his  eyes    ?    they  gave  him  away.    clearly  grateful  for  her  compliments  but  unwilling  to  use  words  to  express  that.    wasn’t  completely  unlike  him    ,    either.    never  good  at  receiving  what  he  needed  to  hear  from  who  he  needed  to  hear  it  from.    ❛    that  should  work.    clearly  we’re  nearly  twins.    ❜    laughs  softly  at  himself    ,    soft  hum  escaping  his  lips  at  the  kisses  being  pressed  wherever  they  could  reach.    ❛    you  gotta  take  it  off  of  me  if  you  wanna  wear  it  so  bad    ,    babe.    welcome  to  strip  me  if  you  want  it.    ❜    was  currently  too  comfortable  to  move    ,    but  wouldn’t  complain  if  she  did  decide  to  pull  his  shirt  off.

[kitchmbrs]

ofsabina.

she  hides  a  smile  because  she  refuses  to  acknowledge  that  kit  can  make  her  laugh.  nah,  she  would  much  rather  prefer  him  to  think  that  she  hated  him.  but  sabina  wasn’t  as  frigid  as  she’d  like  to  think.  “i  can’t  argue  with  that  logic,”  she  replied,  bringing  her  knees  up  to  her  chest.  sabina  actually  didn’t  mind  writing  besides  kit.  every  once  in  awhile  it  was  good  to  get  outside  input  from  other  creators.  she  shrugs  her  shoulders.  “not  everyone  is  born  song  writer,”  she  shrugged  with  a  light  smile.  however  when  he  asked  about  her  work,  sabina  frowned.  “uh…”  she  didn’t  like  to  admit  when  she  was  having  trouble.  “i  feel  like  this  doesn’t  make  any  fucking  sense.” 

 her  opinion  of  him  didn’t  really  matter    ,    but  it  was  still  pleasing  for  him  to  know  that  she  didn’t  hate  him  as  much  as  she  wanted  him  to  think  she  did.    ❛    great.    thanks  for  agreeing.  i  do  say  things  that  are  smart  from  time  to  time    ,    you  know.    ❜  lets  out  a  soft  laugh    ,    eyes  watching  her  momentarily  before  going  back  to  the  journal  as  soon  as  it’s  back  in  his  hands.    ❛    ah    ,    thank  you  for  the  encouragement.    i  feel  so  much  better.    ❜    sarcasm  rolls  from  his  tongue    ,    but  they  both  know  that  it  doesn’t  actually  bother  him.    it  was  take  a  lot  to  actually  bother  him.    if  she  really  could  at  all.    ❛    well    ,    can  i  see  it    ?    i  promise  i’m  better  at  advice  than  you  are.    ❜

[kitchmbrs]

lennoxjpg.

          𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐘, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐈𝐆 was up. they were both keenly aware the shirt was non-existent, and that left lennox looking either a) pretty fucking stupid or b) pretty fucking vulnerable, and he wasn’t sure which he preferred. “maybe i’m here to get the other stuff you’re apparently stockpiling…” he trailed off, he briefly wondered if those were the shirts kit lent to his visitors after they spent the night in his bed – that masochistic thought made him sick to his stomach and then he really did want his shirts back. would that make you jealous, lennox? so he was trying to make him jealous when he traipsed around with 5′4″ victoria’s secret wannabes that had probably just memorized his lyrics and not poured over every single possible meaning behind every syllable, desperate to get a look inside kit’s mind, like he had. despite the lump of emotion and longing sitting at the back of his throat anxious to get out, lennox’s expression was that of composure ( one could venture to say indifference ), but his eyes, his breathing, the way his body always angled a degree or two towards kit said something completely different. weirdly, in spite of everything, kit still managed to make the situation somewhat arousing to lennox, the proximity of their bodies, the smirk plastered on his face, he would no doubt have kit’s it’s just me and you playing on a loop in his head for the next week. “i’m here because i’m sure you’ve heard the song,” just as lennox had heard the song he was pretty sure was written about him, “about you.” he clarified, in case somehow his words weren’t crystal clear enough. it didn’t cross his mind once that maybe kit hadn’t even listened to the album ( his god complex couldn’t possibly imagine someone not hanging onto every word he ever said ), maybe he didn’t know what song he was talking about or worse, maybe he didn’t care. he still wasn’t being honest – honesty is the antidote to a diseased mind, they told him in rehab – he was still hiding behind the façade of an explanation, an apology. the cat and mouse game of who wants who more and who was going to give in to their true intentions first was getting tiring. lennox looked up ( up, he was that tall ) to the other male, every hedonistic cell in his body screaming out to just kiss him and fall back into their old destructive habits. “honestly,” here it was, the lump coming out, “why am i here? why are you out there fucking bobble heads for the cameras.” it had come off a little more aggressive that he intended. “you’re trying to make me jealous,” he said it as a statement, a fact, nothing was up for debate anymore. “and, honestly, it worked.”

❛    well    ,    if  you’re  here  to  get  that  stuff  then  the  door’s  behind  you.    you  can’t  have  it.    you  left  it  here    ,    it’s  mine.    they  happily  live  in  their  drawer  and  it’ll  stay  that  way.    ❜    couldn’t  bare  to  part  with  the  only  pieces  of  lennox  he  had  left.    knew  that  kit  really  had  no  right  to  talk.    they  had  both  been  shitty  to  each  other  and  then  kit  proceeded  to  have  a  new  person  on  him  each  weekend.    not  to  mention  the  fact  that  he  was  now  being  seen  with  stella.    refusing  to  address  dating  rumors.    maybe  did  that  on  purpose  too.    was  never  going  to  get  over  lennox  this  way  and  he  knew  it.    unlike  the  other    ,    kits  lyrics  were  less  straight  forward.    had  to  be  explained  sentence  by  sentence  to  explain  what  he  meant.    and  he  never  would.    anything  he  wrote  remained  private    ,    which  means  two  months  ago  when  his  own  album  came  out    ,    lennox  was  probably  left  stumbling  over  his  own  thoughts  to  figure  out  what  songs  might  have  been  about  him.  if  he  even  listened  to  it.    flash  forward  to  now  when  kit  had  listened  to  lennox’s  bands  album  over  and  over  until  he  swore  he  could  feel  everything  he  felt  when  he  wrote  the  songs.    ❛    ah.    yes.    ❜    now  it  made  sense.   the  song.    in  the  moment    ,    he  wishes  he  hadn’t  heard  it.    ❛    maybe  I  would  like  you  better  if  you  took  off  your  clothes.  i'm  not  playing  with  you  ,  baby  ,  i  think  that  you  should  give  it  a  go.    ❜    words  flow  rhythmically  from  his  lips    ,    eyes  locked  with  his  ex’s.    ❛    of  course  i  heard  it.    i  listened  to  the  whole  album.    ❜    multiple  times.    ❛    it’s  a  beautiful  album.    can  feel  everything  you  feel  in  every  song.    as  usual.    ❜    lennox  knew  that  that  was  kit’s  favorite  thing  about  his  music.    the  lyrics.    how  he  could  feel  it  when  lennox  sang.    safe  to  say  these  songs  got  to  him  more  than  others.    wasn’t  going  to  stand  here  and  lie  to  lennox    ,    but  he  did  withhold  some  of  the  truth.    lets  out  a  cold  laugh  at  his  next  words    ,    eyebrows  raised.    what  he  wanted  had  come  true.    knew  that  it  had  when  he  heard  the  song    ,    but  there  was  just  something  about  hearing  him  say  it  that  made  him  feel  sadistically  satisfied.    ❛    i  mean    ,    i’m  not  fucking  all  of  them.    and  you  were  the  one  fucking  them  when  we  were  literally  together.    more  than  i  was    ,    before  you  even  bring  that  up.    ❜    tone  isn’t  angry.    almost  smug  instead.    but  as  it  settles    ,    he  realizes  he  never  expected  the  other  to  show  up  and  confront  him.    to  call  him  out.    ❛    so  what  now    ,    lennox    ?    came  all  the  way  here  for  a  confession    ?    well    ,    here  it  is.    yeah.    wanted  you  to  be  fucking  jealous.    ❜    it  was  true.    body  steps  forward    ,    only  one  more  step  from  lennox  being  pressed  against  the  door.    he  was  approaching  dangerous  territory    ,    as  if  it  wasn’t  already.    ❛    you  really  don’t  have  anything  to  be  jealous  over.    none  of  that  will  ever  mean  shit.    ❜    not  compared  to  you.

[kitchmbrs]