kitlcuis - Tumblr blog

[kitlcuis]

whyctt.

Suddenly an awareness flows through Wyatt that perhaps hadn’t entirely been there before. With Kit’s arms hanging at his sides and his monotonous voice ringing in the air, his dispassion obvious, it’s difficult to not see how dire this situation really is. His concern turns to acute worry, and he wonders to himself if he shouldn’t make himself a home right here in this apartment, just to ensure that Kit is okay. It’s hard for him to let go, but let go he does, instead reaching up to place his hands on either side of his face. He wants him to look at him. “It’s important. I know it is.” He can tell, and he needs him to hear him when he says it, too. As if him saying it aloud can somehow make Kit recognize it as true again. “But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’ll pour us some wine.” Leaning in, he presses a kiss to Kit’s forehead, and then he lets him go, turning to fetch a couple of glasses and to do just as he’d said he would.

    the kiss is nearly enough to break him down -- to tear through the solid walls of defenses he’s been hardening around his heart every day he’s had to spend alone. it’s just a peck to his forehead; it shouldn’t feel so earth shattering but kit feels like it’s the first soft bit of affection he’s gotten in a while. as a painfully tactile individual, the sheer lack of gentle touches has been taking its toll to the point where this one tiny kiss nearly makes a hole in the dam. kit keeps it together, though. he swallows down around the lump in his throat and shrugs off wyatt’s touch and the sweetness that comes along with it. “i don’t want to,” he adds mechanically, following after his friend and propping himself up against the corner of a counter while wyatt fusses over pouring their wine. “i’d rather talk about you. where have you been?” kit doesn’t mean for his question to sound so despondent. he’d just meant to start small talk but he thinks he’s given away his loneliness in just four words.

[kitlcuis]

whyctt.

A frown curves down the corners of Wyatt’s mouth as he sees Kit, sees the state that he’s in. His words don’t help it any. For a few long moments, Wyatt just stands there looking at him. There’s not even a hint of judgement in that gaze, but rather a soft sort of concern that seems to exude from him. After a while, he steps forward and gently presses a palm to Kit’s cheek, fingertips drifting down over his face. “I’ll take care of it.” He repeats what he’d sad before, this time a bit lower, and he blinks as he looks away for just a breath. The place seems a bit in a disarray, clothes in a heap that he thinks Kit probably crawled out of. That’s okay. “What happened?” He’s not fully filled in on everything that’s gone on with Kit, and that’s his own fault. He’s going to have to apologize to him, but that will be after he wraps him up into a hug. Strong arms wind about his body, and he pulls him in with ease, a comforting hand drifting over his spine. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much.”

    freshly after the news of his fiancé’s arrest, wyatt’s words may have prompted a flood of tears followed by an equally torrential rush of words as he tried to explain the dire situation. at present, though, the wound has scabbed and calloused. he feels hollow to it all -- though that may be a direct result of the party favors he’s been rationing out since finding julian’s stash of money. being touched is nice though; he feels like it’s been ages since he’s been caressed and embraced so gently. “it’s not important,” kit sighs though whether he’s talking about the heating bill or his missing partner, he leaves ambiguous. maybe it’s both -- nothing seems quite important through the haze of his sadness. kit doesn’t even notice he’s not hugging wyatt in return until the other’s hands press to the small of his back and he becomes suddenly aware that he doesn’t know where to place his own palms. they’re just hanging loosely at his sides like a pose-able doll left without direction. “don’t worry about it -- i haven’t been very good company.” he’s still not. maybe he won’t ever be.

[kitlcuis]

whyctt.

There’s something very wrong. Wyatt can sense it just in the way that Kit has been texting him, and he finds it disturbing that perhaps he was too wrapped up in his own dramas and feelings to have noticed it before now. With two bottles of wine under his arm, he lets himself into Kit’s apartment without knocking. He’ll know who it is. The temperature drops slightly, and he notices that, the cold seeping into him near immediately. He should’ve paid his heating this month. He forgot, but he’ll take care of it soon enough. “Kit?” His voice is low and rough, a result of being on the phone all day with various clients and the like. Wandering into the kitchen, Wyatt sets the bottles of wine down on the counter top, and then lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Everything feels very strange to him right now, for some reason. “I’m going to take care of the heat.” He raises his voice, calling into the depths of the apartment, and hoping Kit will emerge. // @kitlcuis

    there’s a heap of secondhand blankets and unworn clothing articles that aren’t kit’s but are, sadly, starting to smell more like him than their previous wearer and somewhere among that pile, there’s also a kit. in a barely decorated apartment, there’s hardly much to do besides sit and wallow and the makeshift mountain of fabrics is where kit chooses to do so. that is, when he isn’t partaking in things he knows will numb the ache of loneliness. it’s probably safer just to be sad but kit’s never been particularly good at keeping himself safe when left to his own devices. he’s tipsy to the point of hiccups as he unfurls from among the garments, getting onto wobbly feet with sleeves tugged down over his hands. “s’okay,” he dismisses from the darkness; he keeps the lights off to keep the electric bill down. “it’s warming up outside -- practically balmy.” or, at least, he thinks it was. he can’t actually remember how long it’s been since he stepped outside.

[kitlcuis]

jaxbyers.

it’s been a few weeks now since julian up and left–not that jax is clued in to how many days it’s been exactly.  he can tell that something isn’t right with kit, and it makes his heart ache.  frankly, he’s not sure what he’d do if the person he loved and trusted with every fiber of his being ghosted him.  despite that, jax has to keep reminding himself that maybe he doesn’t know the whole story.   and just for the record, he loves being right in most cases but being right about julian makes him wish he’d gotten a punch or two in at the winter festivities.  with a heavy sigh, he plunks three ice cubes into the glass of water he’s holding and offers it to kit, raising one eyebrow.  “look, i’m not a shrink and i said i wouldn’t pry. it’s just that you’re my best friend, and it feels like you’re purposely disguising your feelings.  don’t you know by now that you don’t need to do that around me?”  // @kitlcuis

    kit isn’t thirsty but he accepts the glass anyways, mechanically putting his lips to the rim for a sip. he knows jax is playing nurse and he’d expend too much energy to object to the coddling. besides, for as self destructive as he’s been in his alone time, maybe he actually needs some looking after. he slumps down lower in his seat at the turn of their conversation and wonders if he could shrink his already tiny frame down into nothingness to avoid these kinds of concerned comments. they feel too blunt to be his real life; kit prefers a distorted, colorful reality, of late. “i’m not disguising anything,” he bristles defensively, tapping fingers erratically against the side of his water glass. “i’m not feeling anything particular. i’m fine.” a deflection seems to be in order and kit composes his features into something lighter -- deliberately pleasant. “am i really your best friend, hm?”

[kitlcuis]

text | whylet baudelaire 💜

WYATT: sometimes it might be, but not this time. i think i'll say it again.

KIT: say it again when i can hear you then please

[kitlcuis]

text | whylet baudelaire 💜

WYATT: yeah, kit. of course. i'll be right there.

WYATT: i love you, you know? i don't say that very often.

KIT: door's unlocked

KIT: maybe you shouldn't say it though. it can be awfully dangerous to love someone.

[kitlcuis]

text | whylet baudelaire 💜

WYATT: i don't mind that, but i can also bring my own if you'd like? i'm not a moocher, promise

KIT: i am a moocher so if you bring your own i may steal a glass. our very own wine tasting, if you will.

KIT: come over though. please.

[kitlcuis]

What would you do if you had more guts?

“jailbreak?”

[kitlcuis]

what could you give a 45 minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?

“unhealthy coping mechanisms!”

[kitlcuis]

text | whylet baudelaire 💜

WYATT: i would rather have wine than days of the week on my mind

WYATT: give me some

KIT: you would have to come here

KIT: and you would have to pretend not to mind that it's cheap boxed wine

[kitlcuis]

would you ever sell your engagement ring?

“what? no, never.”

[kitlcuis]

what's your favorite form of entertainment?

“…no comment.”

[kitlcuis]

who do you trust the most?

“trust is a very big word.”

[kitlcuis]

text | whylet baudelaire 💜

WHYATT: ofc! and no not really. tomorrow is monday so that sucks

WHYATT: i haaaaate mondays

KIT: oh yeah. work? :(

KIT: i don't really pay much attention to days anymore

KIT: i have wine!

[kitlcuis]

text | whylet baudelaire 💜

KIT: hello i was wondering if i could have attention

KIT: what are you up to tonight?

KIT: anything fun :)

[kitlcuis]

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve broken?

“i dropped a very expensive bong once and it shattered. maybe it wasn’t that expensive though and just looked really pretty. actually, maybe that wasn’t even most expensive – it’s just the last one i actually remember. julian sorted it out for me by giving the guy a glare though so no harm done.”