kittybunnyflores

[kittybunnyflores]

The Conversatio Effect

“ Like a caterpillar, I must welcome change slowly but surely, gradually, becoming the butterfly of who I really am, forcibly creating my own kind of metamorphosis.”

As I was roaming around and looking for a sign of how or what to do or where to go, I found myself in the midst of this institution where warmth welcomed me as their new member of their family with arms wide open. Joy and security was there when I first stepped in the world of the Bedan brotherhood which guided me along, not only in my journey as an average college student, but also as a moral being with intellect to make decisions in the crucial reality of life.

A shy and timid girl I was, unaware of her surroundings in the jungle of hopes and despair, unsure of which path to take or trail to track in order to reach the paradise of peace and solemnity in this world full of hatred and academics. Long lost I was, walking in circles. Long lost I was, thinking of majors. Long lost I was, and for so long I was lost.

I was something as referred to like an item from the lost and found. Lost I was in the early stages of my college life yet I have managed to be found in a place where somehow, I think, perhaps, maybe, I truly belong. Along with my genuine aspiration of becoming a lawyer and thinking in-between whether which course to take as my pre-law, from the courageous department of accountancy I have shifted to the mighty course of legal movers, the department of Legal Management, where I found home, where I found me, somehow, in some way.

 

I was found. I am found. I found myself in a new jungle where all eyes were somehow despising me of who am I or who she was and why is she here. Troubled with insecurities of what they might think of me as a newcomer was one of the seeds which were slowly planted in my garden of thoughts, unsure if what good or evil it would blossom, yet I was determined enough that these seeds of mine were to follow the path where the light shines in the dark like a plant that was phototrophic.

In this jungle, in this department of men with strong minds and tough words, I found myself challenged. And so dearly are the faces of challenges close to my heart. From the shy and timid girl I was, I must adapt to the new environment I have chosen to become one with, or else I would be eaten alive like the hungry wolves in the mountains would eat and scavenge their weak victims. Like a caterpillar, I must welcome change slowly but surely, gradually, becoming the butterfly of who I really am, forcibly creating my own kind of metamorphosis.

And this kind of metamorphosis was made possible by letting myself open to the environment which this lovely institution offered, however, I’ve realized that not all doors must be knocked upon yet one must choose wisely of which door to open that would match the lock of our heart, one which we truly desire, and not a disturbance nor a burden to our academics.  And the door which I was destined today unlock was one of which I will be forever grateful of, The Bedan.

Honestly, The Bedan was the first organization that made me feel that I was part of something important, that my views and opinions were relevant, an organization that would just let me be who I really am. The Bedan was an organization where I felt that I truly belonged. The Bedan, actually is not just an organization nor a school publication, but it is a family, a home, a home for the brave, where words are immortalized, inked in paper, and will be forever be remembered. That is why I would like to thank my The Bedan Family for being there for me no matter what. To the people who first told me to apply as an editor –Tony and Kevin, and to my co-editors, Calvin, Lyza, and Kevin, I am very grateful working with a team like you. Volume 76 will forever hold a place in my heart. *plays Because of You by Keith Martin in the background* And I wish Volume 77 and the succeeding volumes the best of luck.

I would also thank my friends for the support that they have given me all throughout my college life. They witnessed every ups and downs (but mostly downs) I’ve faced, may it be in terms of failed grades or failed relationships. They were the ones who cheered me and lifted my spirit up when I was a complete mess. To my grade school besties – Kayla and Ralph, High School buds – Tin, Jelie, Tonya, Shara, College biatches – Ruby, Queen, Jackie, Ezra, To unexpected friendships and spontaneous trips- Jam and Bry, to my solid dorm mates – Janella, Ash, Ariane, including Pam, to my boyfriend, Justin who helped me in my Strama and took care of me when I got sick, I owe you all a big THANK YOU!

And of course, none of these would be achieved without the support of my family. To my loving Lola who took care of me and raised me to be the modest lady I am today, to my Mama, for all the sacrifices she made, to my Papa along with Grandma and Grandpa, for the unending support, to my sibling Adrie for being the strong young woman she is, to my Tito Coco, for being like a father to me, to the whole family, wherever they may be, I will always extend my sincerest gratitude for all the things they have done for me.

Indeed, hardships were there, always present in attendance, never they were tardy along the cycle of change I put myself into. This institution showed me how to transform myself - unravelling the best of me was the best kind of change I have ever met. This truly is a sign how truly a Bedan I am. This truly is a mark of the Bedan brotherhood along with its Benedictine values. I am truly a living proof of what a true Bedan may be, experiencing this conversatio effect.

This is your FCR Editor, Vol. 76, signing off!

-My Graduation Write-Up

[kittybunnyflores]

Generation Clueless

“And perhap it's true? The world changed you”

Once there was a child born with a bright mind, gifted with great ideas, and a knack for change. He was ambitious. He believed that he could conquer everything that the world would hurl at him. He believed that no one could stop him from achieving what his naive young heart truly desires and dictates. He thought he was invincible until the day he woke up, until he woke up from this dream where he thought he could change the world yet it was the other way around. He wasn't able to change the world, the world changed him. And perhap it's true? The world changed you.

We were born with a purpose to become the best version of whoever we could and might be. It depends on us- our decisions to take the path that would lead us eventually to the right way. However, along the process of our journey in discovering our ultimate self, we find obstacles that are quite challenging. At first, you were still young, full of passion and drive, unconsciously making it to what you've thought was the end yet realized it never really stops, it never really ends, from one struggle to another until you start to get tired and begin to doubt yourself- "Will I ever be enough?"

Our young minds and hearts have been bruised and exposed to the toxic society that it is, which lead us to vices or games which serve as our sudden escape from reality. We are tired of these expectations set by society of what we must become to the point we forget what we want to become and eventually become what we actually least expected.

We thirst for change yet hope for change from the acts of others. But haven't you thought if we really want change, we must first believe that there is a chance to change? Being tired of what life has thrown at us doesn't mean that we should also be tired of doing what we want and must do.  We may be young and broke kids but definitely we are not dumb as to let society dictate our future.  Perhaps it's time to wake up from this second slumber and face the world with what we have to offer.

[kittybunnyflores]

[kittybunnyflores]

unending pain

It’s been days, weeks, a month or so since my throat became sore. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t eat, couldn’t do anything properly. My mind is eating me alive. My energy has gone from 100% to -69% (ifgwim). Nonetheless, I am still thankful that I am alive. I have been struggling, I still am.

When I was a child I could remember my mom tucking me in bed and singing me a lullaby until I fall asleep. The lyrics I cannot remember but I still remember the tune as if she sung it to me just last night. And if I were asked if I want to go back, I would say no. Yes, you read it right. I’d choose not to. As sweet as it may seem, the lullaby which made me sleep did not make me slumber enough as I was awakened one night by screams coming from the living room...