kiwidino

[kiwidino]

Stupid, chauvinist misogyny: Men are X, which is good, while Women are Y, which is bad

Woke, Feminist Take: Men are X, which is reactionary, while women are Y, which is enlightened

[kiwidino]

i do not "queue". i do not use "peak posting times". i do not "stagger" my art. i post it and then bury it myself. and if it doesnt get notes? i rb it again

[kiwidino]

okay here's some actual life advice for new parents

go to the library.

those toddler reading times are actually community-building events where you can meet fellow new parents with children the same age as your kid. you know how it's hard to socialize with all your friends, especially if they don't have young children? well here's a group of people that are far more likely to understand your situation and have free time that isn't after 9 pm on a school night. plus your kids can learn how to socialize with their own peer group. AND it's free

do NOT show up and scroll thru ur phone the entire time, the library isnt daycare, you need to be present too

[kiwidino]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[kiwidino]

A perfect likeness I think.

[kiwidino]

Perhaps they ought not to have eaten the dragon. There had been people objecting to it at the time. Surely such meat was poisonous. Perhaps it was even an affront, an insult to some intangible order of nature they ought to honour.

But the city was starving, the siege had gone on too long, and the king's troops were still a week's march away. The scorched earth would be fertile again in time, but right now it was barren. Right now there were mouths to feed. So they changed their crossbows for butcher knives and got to work.

None of the royal commanders asked any questions that could not be answered. After all, their aid had come shamefully late. The dragon's horned skull made a noble gift, a fitting tribute from a triumphant city to its humbled king. Who would have thought to question them?

And none of the townsfolk spoke up, when the first golden-eyed babes were born. Children who grew up barefoot and fearless, clambering over the city's patched and rebuilt roofs like they had no notion of falling, with a strange glitter to their skin when the sunlight hit it just so. No one breathed a word about dragons.

Because soon enough there were deft, young hands taking loaves straight out of the oven, heedlessly lifting iron from the forge, plunging into boiling laundry water. And some of them more wondrous still, wild, warm-skinned youths, with inexplicable knowledge and peculiar remedies.

A blessing, their families said proudly. A blessing after so much hardship. Which it was, in its way. This city would never fear dragon fire again.

[kiwidino]

There is a Category 5 Biting Event ongoing. Be warned, you will be bitten if you go into the vicinity of the dragon

[kiwidino]

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

[kiwidino]

so true beastie *we are laying in a field of dandelions and i am petting your massive snout* *you are 30 feet long and i love you*

[kiwidino]

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

[kiwidino]

I actually really like this marketing for the LEGO toothless this is really cute

[kiwidino]

this just in: hyper independent control freak gets off on the idea of being completely helpless and at someone's mercy

[kiwidino]

“go early, it’s hard to find parking” you want public transit. “don’t go on weekends, traffic is terrible” you want public transit. “once i parked i had to walk half a mile to the entrance” you want public transit. “it took me an hour to get out of the area after the concert” you want public transit. “ugh somebody needs to DD” you want public transit. “can you drive? my car won’t start” you want public transit. you want public transit. you want public transit. you want public transit.

[kiwidino]

I think it’s time to dig up old Victorian dead people names

[kiwidino]

since i’ve been seeing a lot of invader zim and steven universe crossovers, i thought it would be important to share this with ya’ll, lmao

original video

[kiwidino]

sleeping on my hoard #myhoard

[kiwidino]