oh, tanzania.
one day i will be able to digest everything i have seen here, the bad and the good.
one day i will be able to reconcile the fact that every single person i know back home is about 100 times richer than any tanzanian here, both in money and otherwise.
i hate the world so much sometimes it makes me weep.
why did i deserve to be given what i was given?
i don't want to play anymore.
i want to grow my own food, i want to live simply, i don't want any more creatures to hurt because of my own selfish needs. i don't want to be in a culture that seems hell-bent on fucking everyone else up for their own benefit.
i am no better than the child beggars on the street who scream after me, so why should i be able to do more than them? i shouldn't.
i just want to scream at everyone i know back at school, and say "you're all so lucky! stop being petty! stop wasting what god has given you!" but i will just seem righteous and full of it. so instead of externalizing the pain i have over america, i shall just lead by example, and hope that they follow.
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The desert is a surgeon cutting away the skin to expose what is underneath.
-Fremen Saying
(art: Neil McClements)
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i've been rung out of emotion for so long, i'm not quite sure how much else i can deal with this season.
i'll miss you both, grannybear and grandma betty jestin
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Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste
As it keeps my heart and soul in its place
And I will love with urgency but not with haste
Mumford & Sons, "Not with Haste"
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dear lord in heaven
if i stay here any longer
i may surely blow everyone's brains up.
love,
kjt
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the many faces of johnny depp... thanks reddit
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Illus. by Artuš Scheiner for Under Command Of Magic by J. Š. Kubín (1920s)
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i hate when the moon of my life is gone from me
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