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[kjtoons]

[kjtoons]

DC Twitter must have been INSANE when it got out that Superboy’s dads were Superman and Lex Luthor. Holy shit. The memes. The ship wars. The homophobes. The mpreg jokes. People would have lost their fucking minds. Lex Luthor releases a statement like “he’s a clone of me and Superman no birth was involved” and people are like KINDA GAY OF YOU TO HAVE A SON WITH ANOTHER MAN, LUTHOR. Lexcorp’s PR team locks themselves in a conference room and refuses to come out for love or money.

[kjtoons]

one day Tim gets shot in the shoulder. The bullet goes straight through so he doesn't bother anyone about it. He hates bothering people with his injuries when there's people more in need than him. He goes home and collapses in bed, he'll deal with it tomorrow.

When he wakes up though, he finds that someone has already come and fixed him up while he was asleep. The area surrounding the bullet wound has been completely numbed too. What the fuck?

There's a flattened bullet hanging from his neck, and Tim wonders if it's the same bullet that went through him. It must be right? Why else would whoever fixed him up give it to him?

The bullet hangs on a shiny gold chain, and Tim stares at it in the mirror. Rubbing his fingers over it and coming to the conclusion it must be real gold. He'll check, just to make sure.

He also needs to investigate who the fuck has gold and expensive pain relief to waste on him. Why they did it. And how the hell they knew Tim was not only injured, when he told absolutely no one, but also found the bullet used on him.

What the fuck.

But this keeps happening, and Tim continues to be confused. He gets injured badly and tells no one, and the next day he's patched up and gifted gold.

Thing is, he can't really tell anyone without admitting he's been hiding his injuries. He can't stand to see Dick's worried expression, or listen to Bruce's disappointed lecture. There's more important things to worry about in Gotham.

He breaks his hand on patrol and when he wakes up the next morning it's been bandaged and put in a splint. Fuck. That was his dominant hand too!

His other hand feels heavy and when he brings it up to examine it as well, his fingers are adorned in various rings of gold.

A deep cut into his flesh and he passes out on his own floor, only to wake up in bed with perfect stitches and a burning sensation coming from his ears. He looks in the mirror groggily too see he's been completely wiped down off the coagulated blood that was surely clinging to his skin before his mystery nurse came to visit.

Not only is he clean and completely patched up, but there's gold hanging from his ears. Both ears are double pierced with perfect hoops of gold threaded through all four new punctures, well- 2 new punctures and 2 re-punctured.

His ears burn. It stings. But the earnings look so pretty, he looks really nice with them.

He smiles.

Then, his mug breaks. His favorite mug. And it's the cherry on top of a horrible, exhausting week. He'd been so stressed and overwhelmed and all he wanted was something to drink! Why did everything have to go wrong? Why did Bruce have to yell at him for doing what he knew he needed to do!? It wasn't fair... and everything just came crashing down all at once.

Tim crumples to the floor and begins to sob uncontrollably, cradling the broken pieces of his mug in shaking hands.

He wakes up in his bed.

It's odd, because he doesn't remember taking himself to bed last night. He's pretty sure he cried himself to sleep on his less-than-clean kitchen floor.

But he's used to this by now. Passing out somewhere and ending up tucked into bed by some mysterious being that Tim still hasn't managed to figure out.

It's nice.

It's really nice actually. It's comforting to know something is caring for him and keeping him safe and he doesn't have to embarrass himself by asking for it.

Except... the space in the bed next to him is warm. That's-

That hasn't happened before....

When he pads into the kitchen it's been cleaned, top to bottom. And his mug is waiting for him on the counter.

Except it's not broken anymore.

There is his favorite mug, whole again and full of steaming tea. Tim scrunches his nose at that, he'd much prefer coffee. But the aroma is nice, soothing, and he carefully picks it up to run his fingers over the lines of gold that glue the shattered pieces together.

Kintsugi.

And then it hits him.

The hair on his neck stands up, a small shiver running through him.

Someone's been treating Tim as their personal art project. Someone's trying to mend him with gold, trying to piece all that's left of him back together like he's fractured pottery.

He doesn't know how he feels about that...

A conflicting mix of dread and warmth settling heavy in his gut, bordering on the edge of uncomfortable and pleasant fullness.

But it's not like he has the words to describe the odd sensation. ..But he likes it.

[kjtoons]

i hear your constantly sleep deprived tim drake. allow me to raise you one sleep deprived BUT prone to napping/passing out tim drake.

after a 72 hour mission, with no sleep, tim finishes up his report at the bat computer, stands up, takes three steps to the left, and curls into a ball on the floor and sleeps right there. Bruce finds him and moves him to somewhere more comfy.

alternatively, when he’s stressed and doesn’t want anyone to bother him, Tim finds the most inconvenient, out of sight place to nap so he can get back to work once he’s done. unfortunately sometimes he gets caught.

Jason: Why is Tim in the tea cabinet?

Dick: He’s tired, leave him be. I think this is the first time he’s slept in like two days.

———

Damian: Father, why is Drake currently unconscious in the cave under the medical gurneys?

Bruce: He likes it there.

———

i just like the idea that the family just rolls with it and accepts it as one of his many quirks. maybe even young justice gang gets in on it and is like oh yeah that’s tim for ya.

[kjtoons]

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says she needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself 💀

[kjtoons]

The "one" that cannot bear losing her again... but it has be a bad dream... right?

Just wake up...

Just.

Wake.

Up.

[kjtoons]

The "one" that cannot bear losing her again... but it has be a bad dream... right?

Just wake up...

Just.

Wake.

Up.

[kjtoons]

Dick in Gotham handling a hostage situation at a local university. Some villain crashed a party in the student apartments and has the whole building locked down. Dick is in there with Damian, and they finally make it to the floor where the bad guy is and they’re having this big tense stand off before the final fight…

and then one of the college students who this guy had huddled in the corner grabs a chair and just fucking clocks this guy. He hits him over the head so hard that the chair breaks and the guy COLLAPSES. Dick is like . Oh??

And then the student turns around (with a truly unhinged glint in his eye) and Dick recognizes him and realizes OH . Oh this is Tim’s boyfriend. That’s the crazy guy who recruited us to go beat up cultists with him. Yeah we didn’t even need to come he had that handled actually

[kjtoons]

I regret to inform you that Discord's new Terms of Service includes an arbitration clause. You can find it here https://discord.com/terms/#16. This clause includes an opt-out, which I have transcribed here:

You can decline this agreement to arbitrate by emailing an opt-out notice to arbitration-opt-out@discord.com within 30 days of April 15, 2024 or when you first register your Discord account, whichever is later; otherwise, you shall be bound to arbitrate disputes in accordance with the terms of these paragraphs. If you opt out of these arbitration provisions, Discord also will not be bound by them.

These clauses are underhanded ways that corporations seek to deprive you of your right to participate in class-action lawsuits and your right to a jury trial. (This does only apply to us users ,other people still spread the word though )

[kjtoons]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[kjtoons]

enough reclaiming slurs, I think in 2023 we should reclaim nascar. they banned the confederate flag on all properties & their stance on lgbtq+ isn’t just performative bc in 2013 they fined a driver 10k for using a homophobic slur, condemned indiana in a statement for an anti lgbt law, and partnered w carolina’s lgbt+ chamber of conference in 2022. nascar was founded by anti-cop moonshiners/bootleggers who drove suped-up fords to out-run the police. #yaaascar

[kjtoons]

Danny: haha I am dead yes this is very funny

Tim: *literal, intense flashbacks*

Dick: :DDD

Chapter seven of Wanted: Dead and Alive is live and it contains this ICONIC scene so like... Check it out if you would ;-;

[kjtoons]

[kjtoons]

The Art of Titus Kaphar

Titus Kaphar was born in 1976 in Kalamazoo, Michigan. He currently lives and works between New York and Connecticut, USA. His artworks interact with the history of art by appropriating its styles and mediums. Kaphar cuts, bends, sculpts and mixes the work of Classic and Renaissance painters, creating formal games and new tales between fiction and quotation.

[kjtoons]

do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why

[kjtoons]

[kjtoons]