knocking-on-deaths-door69

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

How did they know????

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

If I'm being honest, I haven't even tried to go back to the challenge, I haven't exactly been sober these past few days... week idk my days are blurring together. However I do still need to lose this weight because its gross to even look at, and I figured that mr. Beast was able to go so long because he had something of a punishment if he failed. For him it was shaving his head, for me I have no clue. Which leads me to trying to figure out what I could use, most of my head is shaved anyways so I can't really follow mr. Beast in that area, and I can't really think of anything else that I could use that would actually bother me if I lost. Until I can figure it out I'm not going back to the challenge, I do still need to lose the weight however, so I'm planning on going on a clear liquid diet for the time being.

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Ngl I'm really embarrassed to admit it, but I also refuse to lie. I failed day 2, I ate. It's so embarrassing that I had not 1 but 2 failed starts. Good news is that I didn't gain any weight but I still once again need to recalculate my goal weight for the 2 weeks, which since I haven't gained nor lost any, I'm still at 123 lbs. Which means that my goal weight by the 2 weeks is now 103 lbs.

If you want to know what did me in.... it was coffee and donuts.... my sister took me to my favorite coffee place and I just couldn't resist ya know?

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

caminimm

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Day 1 complete, I drank all 4 cups, I got my 10,000 steps in (that was the hardest cause I'm like hella lazy). Lost 2 lbs but also out of a lot of energy.... tbh I haven't gone for this long in weeks and I can tell with how tired I am lmao. So weak willed that I'm struggling after only one day.

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

I started the 30 days today, and I'm craving so many things and so I'm going to make a list and why I shouldn't have them (I also drank the 4 cups already)

The last fruit snack

Because it is literally the last one and one is never filling it'll just make me want more

Hot chocolate

It's hot enough, I don't need a hot drink

Pickles

I don't actually want them, I just saw them and thought that they'd at least be something

The yogurt I put in the freezer

I would have to wash some dishes cause we're out of clean utensils and after washing dishes all day do I really want to do more

Strawberry/milk chocolate protein shakes

I just bought those as a reward for myself after the 30 days, I haven't even done a full day what makes me think I deserve a reward

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

I just failed... already... on day 1..... I got high and ate. High me has a lot less self control then sober me does. Anyways still lost 4 lbs so I still have to lose 20 in 2 weeks so my end weight should be 105 lbs and not the 109 I had first calculated.

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Guess who has been eating this entire time and is now only 0.2 lbs away from unaliving themselves. That's right, it's meeeeeee! I just checked my weight for the first time since my last post and I'm sitting at 129.8 lbs and I've always said that I would do the deed if I ever hit 130 sooooooooooooo, because of this I have decided to beat Mr. Beast at his own game! Technically he only made it to 14 days, two weeks, without eating and he lost 18 lbs. In his defense, I would also break a fast for Gordon Ramsey.

The rules

(Obviously) no eating

No drinks except for water and an unsweetened tea (make sure it won't break the fast I tend to just drink green and only once a week)

Share body checks at the end of each week (optional for others)

Share how many points earned

Be truthful no cheating/cheat days if you break your fast you're back on square one and all the points you earned are null

Extra credit can not be traded for the main points, if you go the full 30 but did not lose 20 lbs in two weeks those 40 points can not be earned back by the extra credit (optional for others)

There is going to be two main parts, weight lost, and time period. Other little parts to get the full 100% and some extra credit.

My plan is to go the full 30 days, but to make it fair I have to lose 20 lbs in two weeks. That's 2 lbs more then what he lost and would put me around 109 lbs. At that point if I want I could choose to end it and only get points for weight lost. Or I could continue and try to get the full 100% and a little extra.

In order to achieve 100%

Lose 20 lbs in two weeks 40 points

Go the full 30 days 40 points

Walk 10,000 steps every day 10 points

Drink 4 cups (24oz) of ice water everyday 10 points

The extra credit (basically distractions so that way there's things I can focus on other then how hungry I am lmao)

Clean room 5 points

Do skin care routine 5 points

Finish reading (start to finish) a book 5 points

Practice violin 5 points

Give dogs baths 5 points

Post to social media 10 points (for each day)

In total I can get 135 points. (Give or take how many times I do an extra credit task)

If you want, you could join me, I'm starting tomorrow, follow at you're own speed and feel free to change things up to better match you.

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Just got back from my trip and it completely ruined what little bit of progress I had! Was at 115 before I went, and now I'm back up to 125!!! I'm so upset with myself

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

So the reason I haven't posted (I'm still active I just haven't really had the energy to post my own shit lol) is because I've been sick (thankfully not covid) however, because of this I've been really lax with what I was eating, haven't been counting cals and everything. I am just now starting to feel better so I checked my weight.... I went from 119.3 back up to 122.6. I cried a little in the shower this morning. However, I'm no longer sick which means I can get right back into it! Wish me luck!

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Binge eating while your roommate has a mental break down over their family in their room.... could this place get any messier

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Updated about me

Block don't report

I am 19 years old

I go by she/they

Not pro

I'm vegetarian

I have been struggling with an ed since middle school and have recently relapsed

Cw 129.8 lbs

Uwg 80 lbs

My roommate knows some of this but not all and I would like to keep it that way

Find me on Twitter @Mels_Melancholy

Don't expect me to be active everyday, I'm a busy person but I'm trying to get better at posting so if I drop off for a bit don't worry I'll be back lol

Feel free to hit me up whenever, I'll respond as soon as I can!

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Roommate update

Earlier, I was talking with my roommate and we had a conversation about our ed's and as it turns out I was not the only one who has relapsed. The only difference is that they have a therapist and is actually trying to get better while I run a blog and have no such plans. That being said, I no longer have to worry about them finding out and making me eat, cause apparently as long as "it doesn't get to bad" they don't mind, and like who are they to say what's "to bad" as long as I actually look good and no longer this ugly fat mess I'm good. I no longer have to hide my scale, in fact it's home is now out in the open in my bathroom! I can actually look at the food labels without having to worry about getting caught writing the information down, I can actually say out loud to them that I don't want to eat and they would be okay with that! Isn't that amazing, I feel like a weight has been lifted! I still want to keep a few things to myself, such as this blog and my Twitter, which is @Mels_Melancholy -shameless plug ik but idc- if any of you want to follow me there as well even tho im not all that active there as well lol. My food diary and workouts are also something I plan on keeping. However, with everything else I can be open about, and it's nice! So with that being said, if anyone wants to talk, I'll respond as soon as I'm able!

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

me: is shaking cause fasting

also me: energy drink will fix that

*shaking intensities*

me: the risk i took was calculated, i am however bad at math

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Yesterday I had

24 Oz rootbeer 320 cals, 90g of carbs

24 Oz of water

13 servings of hot cheetos 2,080 cals, 169g of carbs, 143g of fat, 13g of protein

3 servings chocolate brownie ice-cream 1,713 cals, 230.2g of carbs, 84.6g of fat, 28.7g of protein

Which brings us to a total of 4,113 cals, 489.2g of carbs, 227.6g of fat, and 41.7g of protein

Let's just say I went on a bit of a binge.... I feel gross

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Sorry for the suddenly dropping off, my roommate was getting suspicious and I needed to get them off my case. Haven't weighed myself recently and with how much I've been eating I'm a little scared too. Got a trip coming up in June and I would like to look my best, I just got a 26" waist corset that I can't fully tighten; which like really shows off how gross I am, and I'm hoping to not not only fit it a bit better but also look good while not wearing it. Anyways I'll start sharing whatever I eat so you're welcome to shame me lol. Once I show a bit improvement I'll share my body checks as well. I have been keeping up with my work cause like I do those on my own before I get ready to go to work/bed and usually my roommate is either in bed themselves or still asleep.

I hope to get back to posting more again now that my roommate has calmed down.

[knocking-on-deaths-door69]

Well I made it! I was able to go all yesterday without eating! However today I had two everything bagels with some jalapeño cream cheese... and a large coffee.... let's just say I went over I went over my daily calorie consumption... I'm not proud about that....

Anyways this mornings weight was 123.6, im sure it'll be back up by tomorrow