knoxs2nd

[knoxs2nd]

yasu names the greatest source of her suffering and her own personal failure as the inability to change and thus being forever stuck in her circumstances

but! this inability to change an outcome is the source of beatrice's endless magic and what makes her such a powerful witch

shannon and kanon's struggles against beatrice, their struggles against their roles as "furniture" preventing them from achieving human happiness, are about achieving change and how this relates to one's own humanity

shannon and kanon's goals are both related to change, but as per usual for our furniture foils, they strive for different types of change to make them "human"

shannon strives for external change: marrying george, leaving the island, having a family, etc. her own version of happiness is changing her circumstances. meanwhile, she still retains her internal beliefs that she's furniture using magic (see: proposal in ep 1, date in ep2)

kanon, however, strives for internal change: seeing himself as human rather than furniture with a future. his own version of happiness is believing himself to be human with all the possibilities it entails. meanwhile, kanon's envisioned future for himself in ep6 involves staying on rokkenjima as the family's furniture

the 1000-year old beatrice, whose endless magic can always only result in one outcome, doesn't want for change. in fact, her age and training as the endless witch earns her respect and she should be revered. meanwhile, shannon and kanon are upstart furniture/children

so, beatrice resists change. she carries out the epitaph because the sequence of events have already been pre-determined by fate. she's... in a bird cage, or in a dead-end of fate - whichever metaphor you want to use from the series for her situation.

beatrice is the witch who will be acknowledged as such, while shannon and kanon are furniture who want to become human. but even though beatrice is framed against shannon/kanon as inhuman, her version of happiness is having her heart understood, a human's greatest wish.

beatrice wants to be loved and understood while being antithetical to the change inherent to shannon/kanon's characters

all of these - wanting to be loved, having to change both internally and externally - are all parts of being human

so then, why is beatrice so powerful compared to shannon and kanon? why is foregone that of course beatrice wins, and shannon/kanon are fighting a hopeless battle?

beatrice is someone born from yasu's first childhood love for battler and as the culprit/witch that she first began playing at as a child

beatrice triumphing over shannon and kanon, to me, reads as yasu valuing and believing in the possibility of being understood, accepted, and loved as she was in the past, rather than who she could be in the future.

(of course, yasu believed that she can't achieve this change in the first place. the series keeps framing shannon and kanon as fighting against their fate! but beyond the series itself, fixating on the past and feeling unable to change is a trauma response

...and well, yasu is suicidal. she's suicidal because nothing can change. because nothing can change, she should die. but in her heart of hearts, at least, she can still wish for a miracle to come true, and to be understood)

going back to change and humanity - in the context of the catbox, shannon, kanon, and beatrice all accomplish their goals and achieve their happy endings. shannon and kanon fight for change and become human, while battler grants beatrice's human wish by understanding her heart

but outside of the catbox, for beatrice on the boat, and for ange, the question becomes: how does one live meaningfully as a human?

when battler asked beatrice to change, assuring her of his love and support, she told him she couldn't. she couldn't change her circumstances and leave rokkenjima physically, and she couldn't change herself, as she would always be the sinful witch.

battler knows that beatrice doesn't feel like she can change, but he also believes that what she really needs, and what he will give her, is love and time

beatrice accomplishes her human goal of being loved and understood until the end, but while inside of the endless catbox it's a fairytale ending, outside of the catbox it's a tragedy, because she doesn't do the most important thing, what battler wanted her to do, and live.

now, ange, when she has her family in her heart supporting her, fights for and accomplishes the miracle of both internal and external change: she becomes kotobuki yukari. and, most importantly, she does this by looking to the future and resolving to live

to be human means to want to love, to want to be loved in return, and to change. and...to be human means to live and have a future

[knoxs2nd]

the epitaph is a ceremony to revive the witch, beatrice. the 1st time it was solved for kinzo, it "revived" beatrice as a victim of the ushiromiyas's sins. the 2nd time yasu wanted it solved for herself, she engineered a scenario for beatrice to be revived as the ultimate culprit

to be a witch is to be inhuman. both of these "revived" beatrices show that - the inhumanity of not being free to make your own choices, and the inhumanity of being unable to be understood.

---

first, we have to talk about the crucial "reveal." there's a fascination in umineko, and the overall mystery genre, with the culprit reveal. the culprit is cornered and confronted with the evidence. with their plans crumbling, they take a final stand, to confess to their sins

they may have made mistakes, or left clues, but they're only human. it's still true that they committed the crimes, and after the whodunnit and howdunnit is revealed by the detective, it's up to the culprit themselves to provide the whydunnit, in their own words.

in umineko, this type of culprit reveal never happens. instead, there are many dramatic confrontations, where people are cornered by "evidence", or the truth, but they are helpless to fight back, or take charge of the narrative.

such as: natsuhi at the end of ep5, who feels forced to confess to her sins 18 years ago against her own will. or battler at the asumu reveal in ep4, or the logic error in ep6, who simply shuts down because he can't think of a way against the "truth."

even the maid at the beginning of ep7 who will saves, insisting that she couldn't have committed the murder because she was unwilling to reveal her secret relationship.

but these aren't culprit reveals!

no, they're victim reveals

as victims, they're still the center of attention and viewed with a similar mix of emotions - pity, maybe fear, maybe even disgust - as they would have been as culprits.

but being revealed as a victim isn't a mystery. there's no agency in the narrative. even beyond the confrontation, the most traumatizing part of the whole affair, is the helplessness.

for the previously mentioned "victim reveals", they are only saved by others (natsuhi by battler, battler by ange in ep4 or kanon in ep6, the maid by will)

the lack of control, the inability to stand up for yourself...it's dehumanizing

---

let's go back to yasu and nov 29, 1984 - she was proud of herself for solving the puzzle and finding the gold, and it turns out she's a pawn in everyone's game. "fate" was cruel to the person who wanted to feel like she was empowered...

before the epitaph was solved, the rumor about beatrice was that she was the witch in the forest, who would punish those who didn't believe in her, the true ruler of rokkenjima. the other rumor was that she was kinzo's mistress, the true love of his life.

when yasu solved the epitaph, the truth of beatrice - her grandmother, mother, and herself - was revealed. it wasn't just that beatrice was a mistress. no, she was also kinzo's victim, and she had been wronged.

kinzo begs for forgiveness, even if yasu ("beatrice") had been so wronged that her forgiveness won't save him from hell. that is simply how much beatrice was victimized by kinzo.

yasu was viewed with pity, yes. but she was also viewed with reverence, but not even toward her, and how she worked hard to solve the epitaph. no, it was reverence for the miracle of fate that brought her to this exact place at this exact time, to meet kinzo before he died.

yasu had all this evidence presented to her, and was helpless to say otherwise. all she could do was hear them out, and feel like her life was falling apart. but yasu wasn't the important one here. no, this was about bringing salvation to kinzo. she was simply the symbol of it.

the november 29th, 1984 confrontation - dramatic, traumatizing, fateful - simply revealed yasu, and her mother, and her grandmother's - the "beatrices" - fate as the ushiromiyas' victim. yasu was "revived" as beatrice because she was burdened with knowledge of their trauma

this knowledge was only shared with her for kinzo's sake. her life was not her own. everything that happened to her - fate itself conspired to bring kinzo - the culprit - and his life full circle, by reuniting him with his victim before he died

to be human to be have agency in your own narrative, and have possibilities open to you. even if it's difficult, you still have the chance to try to change your own fate.

being controlled and limited, only meant to support others, never meant to be your own person - is to be a victim. it's to be furniture.

---

moving onto oct 4th & 5th, 1986 - so, the second time the epitaph is solved, yasu plots a scenario that would revive beatrice, not as a victim, but as the witch - the ruler of rokkenjima who controls the fate of everyone else on the island.

in yasu's gameboards (ep1/2), the epitaph isn't solved. beatrice is resurrected, but as the ultimate culprit. the people on the island decry their cruel fate, and ask why it has to be them, and beg for forgiveness.

throughout oct 5th, beatrice murders people, seemingly at random. but even then, at the tenth twilight, at midnight, everyone dies as beatrice is resurrected.

she's a witch toying with everyone's lives. no one could possibly begin to piece a motive, or relate to her, or understand her. it's the ultimate inhumanity.

the only way to disprove the witch, where the witch will lower herself to being defeated by a human, is to play her game. so she will grant you a modicum of agency. yasu thought she had control over solving the epitaph, but it was her succumbing to her fate.

on the other hand, if you, as her victim, seize the sliver of control that the witch will grant you, and solve the epitaph and change your fate...that's a miracle.

yasu recreates beatrice's resurrection as a witch with the epitaph...but in her prayed-for miracle, the world where someone solves the epitaph before midnight, she also recreates the "real beatrice's resurrection" with kinzo, with a final confrontation with her.

back then, yasu was "cornered" and the status of her own victimhood was revealed to her. but this time, yasu is cornered as a true culprit, and will be able to own up to her own culpability, and how she tried to control her narrative.

if she's discovered as the culprit, yasu "loses", but that's an outcome she decided on. she could have just blown everyone up, but by choosing to make this a game, she also chose an outcome where, if other people exerted the slice of control she granted them, she could be revealed.

it's yasu exerting her own control as a culprit that she didn't have as a victim

but even beyond that...

in the miracle of miracles, by yasu recreating the most traumatizing day of her life, the day she became beatrice, in this final confrontation as the culprit...

instead of being seen as a "homicidal maniac who kills for fun", if she had left enough clues to her motive so that she doesn't have to explain it all herself, as the culprit...

she can be seen as someone who felt so strongly she resorted to murder, as someone with a heart

as someone who tried to make her own choices,

and as someone who might be able to be understood

as someone who's human.

[knoxs2nd]

natsuhi, eva, and rosa had ideals of who their children should be, so they wouldn't suffer from the same childhood trauma as their mothers. yasu's "children" were created in the same way.

the cousins became their own people beyond these expectations, even if it was in defiance of their own mothers' original wishes. so it's the same for shannon, kanon, and beatrice, who all grew past than their purpose, their reason for living as yasu originally created them.

shannon's original role was to be yasu's friend. however, shannon wasn't made just to be yasu's unique and best friend...shannon was supposed to be perfect, and loved by everyone.

but shannon becomes her own person, accepting her own imperfections as "furniture" without condemning herself for it. and instead of striving to be loved by everyone...she chose to love and be loved by one person.

even if it meant destroying all of her other precious relationships. she was made for everyone, but ended up living for one person.

kanon was originally made to be the other half of shannon's universe. an emotional support little brother, and not just in a wholly positive way. he was also created to cope with many of yasu's negative feelings about her life, including her perception of her own womanhood.

kanon could voice his displeasure at others, and at the world. he could be a lone wolf and not care about others and how they perceived him. as long as he supported shannon, he didn't need anything else of his own. not exactly someone who designed with his own interiority...

kanon was not supposed to want anything for himself - to actually want to try living in the world, as a human. but then, inspired by jessica and encouraged by her to try to value himself...in the end, he's the one who wants the most to become his own person

even if kanon doesn't know what exactly he wants to become, he wants the chance to try, and establish his own sense of self and individuality. he was made for one person, but ended up living for himself.

beatrice was born as a receptacle for yasu's unrequited love for battler. however, yasu was only "allowing" beatrice to know what love was, with the understanding that beatrice was just "holding onto" her feelings. the love could be given back to yasu, whenever she felt like it

beatrice was born as someone to love battler...but not someone who was meant to be loved in return. she wasn't someone who was ever meant to be part of a universe of two, and thus, someone who could not be acknowledged or understood.

for the rokkenjima massacre, yasu ends up not choosing between shannon or kanon. by that time, both of her creations had grown into people with their own wants rather than just her ideal of a way to live. they had dreams of futures they wanted for themselves

in the end, the gamble fell to beatrice, the only one who was "incomplete" and not "real", who was not her own person because she didn't have the other half of her universe of two, who inspired her to grow past her original purpose. the only one without a future...

beatrice was made as someone to experience the pain of love, and not to be loved in return. but then, battler loves her and understands her. everyone believes in her, and made her golden land real, for eternity. in the end, with love, beatrice "exists"

[knoxs2nd]

thinking how rosa met kuwatrice in the context of her "childishly" wanting to disappear and run away from reality, versus how meeting rosa made kuwatrice want to escape her birdcage and live in the outside world

rosa seeing kuwatrice decide on that and it also strengthening her own resolve, to help kuwatrice escape and to live the life she deserves!

(the narrative foil of their parents, kinzo & bice, who actually enabled each other to retreat further into their own constructed fantasy bubble of kuwadorian, cut off from the outside world)

rosa & kuwatrice's brief meeting shifted both of their viewpoints, and if they had actually stayed together, their relationship would have set their lives on entirely different paths... but it was a short-lived fantasy that left one dead and the other with lifelong trauma

thinking about this in the context of how they didn't know they're sisters and how even that short moment was probably the most unambiguously positive and supportive familial relationship either of them had......😭😭

[knoxs2nd]

in shannon and beatrice's first meeting, they talk about how love is the single element of the world. they both live for love - their greatest wishes are to love and be loved, in turn.

kanon notably does not live for love. no, his greatest wish is to become human.

in episode 4, shannon's concept of the golden land is somewhere she can be at rest with her loved one. beatrice's greatest wish - a universe of two - lines up with shannon's idea of happiness.

meanwhile, kanon's idea of the golden land is a world where he can become human.

george likes shannon, so shannon, the furniture who lives for love, accepts him.

jessica likes kanon, & it makes him happy, but he rejects her. being loved isn't his priority. being furniture is what anguishes him. being unlovable is just another tragic fact of his inhumanity.

it's not that love isn't important to kanon! but love belongs to the realm of humans. it's an important part of the human experience that makes life worth living, but it's not a singular reason to live. to kanon, being human is having possibilities for happiness, INCLUDING love

(as an aside, beatrice, who also lives for love, was so close at the end of episode 3 to pulling a shannon and accepting battler. but she ultimately rejects that type of love that prioritizes positivity and getting along, in favor of a love where she can be understood)

if shannon cries herself to sleep because of her unfulfilled love for battler, then kanon cries himself to sleep because he wants to be human

now, this can be read as a characterization choice between shannon and kanon as two characters of their own with different backgrounds, personalities, motivations, but in the context of reading them through yasu, and how they reflect how she lives in the human world?

and specifically, how she lives in the human world as a woman and as a man

shannon, who tries to present herself and is seen by others as this perfect, ideal adult woman

kanon, who is seen as a weak, boy-ish man who has few redeeming qualities

one of the most prominent themes in umineko is about different perceptions of love, and in particular how the different women feel like they need love and partnership, in order to be accepted as a woman and by society. it's not just a part of life. it's part of their purpose.

so, shannon, who lives for love, is seen as an ideal partner who can die happy as soon as she accepts george's ring. she's fulfilled her purpose.

meanwhile, kanon, who longs to be human, is seen as a tragic, doomed boy who will always die fighting his fate. he dies unfulfilled.

shannon is loved by george and can die peacefully with the promise of eternal love. meanwhile, kanon and jessica's love is framed as being the start on a journey. in ep6, they look forward to some distant future where kanon becomes a wonderful human with jessica supporting him.

love is important to kanon as a catalyst for change. jessica adds onto that, saying that she'll be there to support him the whole time.

love is important to men because it's a motivator for change, while women are there to support men in this journey to being good humans.

(and yes, i'm also pointing to george and shannon in this too! because this dynamic is also present in george/shannon's relationship, in george admitting he wanted to change because he wanted to become worthy of shannon!)

as people, kanon faces far more unknowns in his dreamed of future. but you can think of it as, he has all these endless possibilities, as a human.

meanwhile, shannon has already decided on her set path. she knows exactly what she wants and needs, and what it'll look like.

what does being a woman mean, for one's future, versus being a man? what roles must, and can, a woman fulfill? what are they allowed to hope for and aspire to?

how much more limited do their paths to happiness appear to yasu?

shannon is happier and more optimistic than kanon, but she sees the world in a more limited sense. see: her comments in ep2 on the fish in the aquarium who can live, perfectly happy and ignorant, never knowing that they will never reach the ocean. her comments apply to the catbox, but you can read it through this lens, and view it as her comments on the "world" that women are allowed to inhabit.

kanon is an unhappy, pessimistic person, but also because he's so acutely aware of what he's missing - all the more possibilities that he's allowed to have, as a man. it's an entire ocean out there that he's been denied.

finally, looking at yasu's miracle self. what does happiness look like for lion? what sort of happiness can they aspire to?

lion's gender is intentionally unstated in episode 7. and so, clair wishes for lion, the miracle beatrice, to find happiness - and frames this wish for lion's happiness in the context of both a man and a woman's happiness

live, as a human, in happiness

live, and find love

[knoxs2nd]

kanon/jessica and will/lion are narrative foils, because jessica and will are kanon and lion's supports when they're at their lowest and can't see a way out of their unhappy ending on their own. however, their journeys are the opposite of each other.

will & lion meet as two people who have their own thing going on, who come together due to external circumstances but hit it off anyway. however, their role in each other's lives is understood to be a temporary thing that lasts the length of beatrice's funeral

the "happy ending" that ep7 leaves off on after clair's death is that will and lion go their separate ways. will has fulfilled his purpose in putting clair to rest, and lion is resolved to live and search for happiness in beatrice's honor.

lion doesn't know exactly what that happiness looks like, but they look forward to the unknown and how they can live a full life, with all their strength. life is full of endless possibilities...

it's only when lion starts falling into despair that will comes back: he specifically comes back and needs to be there because he understands lion's circumstances and also has a personal investment on wanting lion to be happy and not fall into despair.

it's for lion's sake that will's there, but it's also more than just lion. will's own beliefs guide him - he hates unhappy endings! he believes that there's a happy ending, but they have to fight for it. he can't let lion just give up, because that guarantees tragedy/suffering.

so he resolves to help lion find a happy ending. not the fullest or best ending lion can make of all their possible endings, that lion told clair they were resolved to do. but a happy ending. just one, any one, will do.

lion accepts his offer, acknowledging lion needs will to help them reach this ending.

and it's because of this, that will & lion end up together forever. because they will always fight, forever, for this one, singular happy ending that it seems fate itself is trying to deny lion.

now, let's work backwards from here, and look at kanon/jessica! because kanon starts off alone, denying the possibility that he can ever be allowed to find happiness. he's already in despair.

the conflict here is even being open to accepting jessica's offer to help him reach a happy ending. and it has to be jessica, specifically, for kanon, because she is the only person who understands the uniqueness of growing up on rokkenjima and how it's a cage.

she cares about kanon as a person, but is also invested beyond just kanon, because she sees herself in him. it's a core belief of her own, how she had fashioned her own sort of happiness and freedom and self-acceptance, even though she also feels trapped by the circumstances of her birth. she can't just leave kanon suffer the same miserable stagnation.

the singular happy ending kanon and jessica are working toward right now is a relationship. it's not treated with much reverence from the narrative, compared to, say, george/shannon who are very serious and planning for a life together. they're young, and don't really know what they're doing, but it's a start. they want to try. it's a happiness they want to allow themselves to have, and they'll fight for this thing that seems small but is big to them.

from this single bud, who knows what will grow?

now, we don't see kanon and jessica's relationship past this: that's the magic and tragedy of the catbox! and here's where my personal interpretation comes in. because in my true yasu ending, where she finds happiness as a human being, kanon/jessica get together, and later break up.

kanon and jessica get together specifically because their circumstances made them necessary for each other, at that time, just like will/lion end up sherlock and watson-ing in ep7. and they had a great, and fun time together!

but then they end up breaking up later down the road when this shared journey that they had to take together is over. then, they leave each other, but are able to move on with their lives, forever changed and thankful for the experience.

just like lion resolved to live fully, even though there's no clear idea of what happiness looks like, because the future is wide and unknown...

if kanon/yasu can do the same: look toward the future, on their own, not knowing what comes next, with the only belief guiding them is a desire to live as personally fulfilling and satisfying a life as they can, with all their strength?

seeing the future, the unknown, with all its endless possibilities, and instead of being frightened, viewing it as something wonderful, and full of hope - seeing the future "with love"?

that's the beauty of being human.

the ocean is blue, indeed.....

[knoxs2nd]

going back to this idea - this internal yasu logic that people are only allowed to emotionally react to physical violence, because that's obviously awful and unjustifiable, and that for verbal violence, they have to take it on the chin. it shouldn't mean anything.

and then tying this thinking into the dichotomy of witches, who hurt others, and victims, who get hurt.

on the chessboard, the murders happen because of the witch. all the victims' suffering can be blamed on an incomprehensible, powerful, faceless witch and her magic. people get understandably upset and terrified. but this emotion can't be truly targeted at whatever's hurting them - the witch is something they can't even understand.

(of course, the entire premise of the mystery and battler rejecting the idea of a witch, is also acknowledging that it's a human who hurt everyone else! it's a human that he's justifiably allowed to be furious at!)

then you go into the idea of victims, and how they react to being victimized

yasu was very aware that she was being hurt by human beings, but...she's not supposed to acknowledge she got hurt. that would be wrong.

actually, she rationalizes to herself, it might be for her own benefit, that the older maids, natsuhi, whoever, point out her flaws. it's on her to take it and prove them wrong. she can better herself, become a great maid, and then she'll win them all over!

(not verbal abuse, but thoughtless words also fall under here. if yasu took battler's childhood promise too seriously, that was also on her. it was just silly, melodramatic, meaningless words. it was super naive and stupid of her to care so much about it.)

but...even with justifying to herself that she shouldn't care, that she can handle this just fine on her own, that eventually isn't enough. now, if she was just yasu the girl, she can't justifiably get back at others for saying mean things. but hey, what if she was a "witch"?

because witches aren't humans. words are everything to witches: they're not even allowed to lie via red truth. physical violence..eh, whatever, it's like a game to them. actually, the biggest offense to a witch, the only thing that can really kill them, is a perfect verbal denial.

in yasu's witch worldbuilding brain, someone denying/belittling beatrice? totally justified to get back at them. as long as yasu is a witch, she can play pranks, get her own sort of revenge, at ALL these cruel words she wasn't allowed to react to before! the witch is justified.

so then, yasu allows herself to get back at others, in this world where she's a witch. she just can't be revealed as the human behind this all who's specifically targeting people who pissed her off. as a human, that would be...imbalanced. an overreaction. wrong.

now, moving onto oct 1984. the entire idea of crafting a convoluted murder mystery, where solving it destroys the illusion of the witch, a faceless violent entity who hurts others because human life doesn't mean the same thing, because it's really words and promises that mean everything to a witch

and understand that she, yasu, the girl, the human who struggles with viewing herself as human, who is fully, excruciatingly aware of the value of human life, is that same culprit who planned this

to understand her and her motive, as someone who was driven to enact physical violence

in response to all the violence enacted on her...

in response to a forgotten promise...

...the miracle that yasu was simultaneously desperate for and terrified of...

being exposed as the human culprit, and being fully understood

is also admitting the truth that she, as a human being, was hurt, and is hurting in turn.

witches who hurt others because they don't understand violence on the same level as a human? victims whose reactions are judged: as justified, as allowed, depending on the type of hurt? it's just more ways of rationalizing life and pain, to distance yourself from your role in it.

because the truth is: humans hurt other humans. humans get hurt, and react emotionally, and lash out, and hurt more. it doesn't matter the "type" of hurt. it doesn't matter the reason or the justification. it's not logical, or rational: it's a cycle of abuse.

it's a horrible cycle that yasu was witness to, and that in her own way, she wanted to break. if people physically hurt you, you can get emotional and yell, but don't be violent back. if people say hurtful things to you, brush it off.

yasu prayed to be understood as a complete person and human being at the same time she feared it, because acknowledging yasu's humanity as the culprit is also acknowledging how she became part of this human cycle of hurt and trauma that she once wished to break free from.

on the chessboard, violence is physical, brutal, grotesque. it makes people emotional: hysterical, angry, paranoid. then, on the meta layer, violence is verbal: the stakes and bullets of your truths/beliefs. it shuts people down: emotionless and unable to engage with the world

*holding head in hands* u don't understand how important it is to me that SOOO much of yasu's suffering was not physical in nature. and also the moment she broke was when there was confirmation that she was physically mutilated and she emotionally lost it for once in her life.

how when it was broken promises and verbal bullying and passive aggression she took it and shut herself off and comforted herself with magic with the golden land. but the moment they confirmed that this affected her physical body ohhhhh boy now she will freak out and SCREAM

[knoxs2nd]

on the chessboard, violence is physical, brutal, grotesque. it makes people emotional: hysterical, angry, paranoid. then, on the meta layer, violence is verbal: the stakes and bullets of your truths/beliefs. it shuts people down: emotionless and unable to engage with the world

*holding head in hands* u don't understand how important it is to me that SOOO much of yasu's suffering was not physical in nature. and also the moment she broke was when there was confirmation that she was physically mutilated and she emotionally lost it for once in her life.

how when it was broken promises and verbal bullying and passive aggression she took it and shut herself off and comforted herself with magic with the golden land. but the moment they confirmed that this affected her physical body ohhhhh boy now she will freak out and SCREAM

[knoxs2nd]

some thoughts on rules vs. choices

george and shannon's interactions have "rules" laid down, like george telling shannon they have to call each other george-san and sayo when they're alone, or george ordering her when he proposes. george thinks this rule-setting is cute and unique to them - but for shannon, it's another way she must navigate the world. disregarding the outsider pov on whether this constitutes a healthy relationship, from a yasu pov, it's not outright a "bad" thing.

yasu has had to navigate hierarchy and rules her entire life. she's had her own choices taken away from her forever, from her place in life (being taken to rokkenjima and made to be a servant), her friends, her fate after she learns about the truth. everyone's always made her choices for her. it's why it's such a huge revelation with battler when he asks her to make a choice: whether she wants to leave the island and be with him, and seems to want to respect her decision then.

george asks her to call him george-san, but that was him asking her to make a choice! but...the thing is, yasu is not used to making choices. she's uncomfortable. so then he orders her, instead, and, per the acting direction decisions in the ep2 stageplay, shannon seems really happy to be given a "rule".

yasu understands rules. she loves mystery novels and views the world through the lens of life-being-a-mystery-novel. mystery novels have rules, commandments, etc. that you have to follow, or else it's not "real" or "legitimate." there's no point in engaging in a mystery novel (or life) if there's not a common foundation, ruleset, and understanding that both writer and reader agree on. that's the basis of communication and building a relationship.

in her own witch worldbuilding, yasu lays down so many specific rules of how the magic system works. she navigated life in a way that had to adhere to real life rules, but also found enjoyment in working around them (by perpetrating the legend of the witch). a true witch/culprit!

as much as yasu craves freedom, a life without rules and complete freedom isn't worthwhile. all-powerful witches die of boredom and loneliness. they can only stave off the boredom with games, where they agree to follow a set of rules so they could interact with other people. you need rules (a common foundation) to interact with other people. so, george laying down rules for shannon, is, in one way, a very easy ask of yasu. if she follows all these rules, she can continue maintaining a relationship and interacting with george. it's comfortable.

going back to battler asking shannon to make a choice on whether she wants to leave the island.....in yasu's warped, instinctual pov of this whole scenario, she had made the choice that she wants to leave, but in the end, the choice didn't matter. the relationship disintegrated. that promise was supposed to be another rule that they had both agreed on. shannon would make up her mind, and battler would come take her away. but battler forgot. there was no common understanding between the two of them after all.....

however, this is not saying that "rules" are purely a good thing. as always in this series, it's complicated. they're necessary in interacting with other people and building mutually agreeable relationships, but also, they can get so restrictive that you lose yourself and give up.

this mutual set of rules that george and shannon had agreed on extended to their future. they both want to marry, to have their own family, etc. however, due to obvious reasons, this greatly distressed yasu! she can't follow these rules of being part of a cishet "ideal" family.

(of course, the entire idea of what socially acceptable happiness is and how much complex, complicated human beings trying to navigate fitting into these boxes and how it makes everyone suffer is its whole other thread.)

in the fantasy layer, the "rules" of life are given through the red text and, later, knox's commandments. what happens when characters are bombarded with so many they can't work with or think their way out of? they give up. just keel over, stop thinking, accept whatever, die. in ep2, battler gives up and becomes beatrice's "furniture." he accepts whatever happens to him then, no matter how humiliating it is. it's like he's no longer human. in ep5, the metaphor is even more pronounced. battler stops engaging and "dies". in ep6, the idea that when you yourself feel like you've outright violated the "rules", this becomes a logic error. the absolute worst, nightmareish thing that could happen to you! you're trapped within your own mind and can no longer interact with the outside world.

when there's too many rules, it's suffocating. you lose yourself as a person. but you need rules, because when it works out just right, when you can start engaging with the other person, throwing out your own blue text, communicating with them on a level that both of you understand. mutually trusting each other...

that's love, baby! and love's a choice!

[knoxs2nd]

yasu calls kinzo "father" right before he dies, even though she's uncomfortable and doesn't actually feel that either of them have the right to call each other father or child. the word is not earned. yet, she sees how kinzo is so emotional and needs to just hear this one thing to put his suffering at ease. so she grants his request. regardless of yasu's personal misgivings, when kinzo hears her, he feels so happy and like he's been forgiven somehow. when he dies, he's happy.

thinking about this in relation to two other scenes, one we saw and one we didn't.

rokkenjima prime and yasu jumping off the boat

the magic ending with beatrice jumping off the boat

when it was just battler and yasu, battler must have said all the right things. but, like yasu, was he uncomfortable and said them because he felt like yasu needed kindness and to hear acceptance? did he not "mean" them as someone who truly knew and cared about yasu? how much of the act of battler accepting yasu and trying to save her was because he's a kind person who doesn't want to see others suffer? but in the end, yasu still dies feeling loved and comforted because of battler's actions.

and now, we're back to the magic ending. an ending that was written by tohya, because even though battler saved yasu at the end and she died at peace, tohya, who had come to understand yasu, needed to go back to revisit that scene and show that - all those words of love and acceptance? they were not lies. they weren't said out of misplaced pity or a sense of duty or obligation. they were real. he wanted yasu to atone for her sins, he wanted yasu to not be alone, he wanted yasu to live.

the magic ending was fantasy, but the feelings behind it were tohya's truth.

[knoxs2nd]

the conception of the golden land is fairly consistent in yasu's episodes and pov as a place where no one can do harm. in an extremely yasu fashion, yasu compartmentalizes her *own imagination* aka magic system.

a major coping mechanism of the series is the existence of a "personal safe sphere" (usually your imagination), where many characters use magic to enact harm on others without risk of backlash. in yasu-speak, this is the first meta-layer above reality.

this is stuff like shannon seeing beatrice whack natsuhi with her pipe. it's fantasy "overlaid" with reality. for you, they are but aren't being harmed. on this layer, man does it feel good and just to fantasize vengeance vs your abusers. also see: maria with rosa, ange with her bullies.

(an aside: this is where yasu plays with being a witch & getting revenge IN reality, still without that risk of backlash, blurring the lines between reality/fantasy, through her pranks. starting off with missing items, scaring jessica, escalating into the strong implication she pushed someone down the stairs. of course, this ultimately ends with the murders. and in contradictory yasu fashion, she also leaves openings for backlash by being caught as the culprit)

then there is the golden land, the place to grant your deepest dreams/wishes. for shannon/kanon, it's a place they are human and not furniture. for beatrice, it's a place she is fully accepted as a witch. to be seen as you want to be is an act of love, support, and acceptance.

it's a place you cannot be rejected aka be harmed.

even tohya's portrayal of the golden land in ep4 with beatrice&maria shows this understanding: it's a universe where beatrice and maria can't be hurt by others. people are only allowed to come there if they do not "deny" magic/harm beatrice.

in episode 7, the golden land is shown from yasu's pov as a place separated from reality, where witches like "clair"/"beatrice" live and only human believers like shannon can be invited.

episode 7 also really plays up the idea of the golden land on a layer of observation above reality, the second meta-layer. it's so removed that entering the golden land forever and shedding your human body is, from a reality pov, supposed to be likened to dying/committing suicide.

witches live in the golden land. humans join the golden land by dying. the golden land is a place of love & acceptance, where you will be seen exactly as you want to be. through many layers of magic, the place yasu thought she could be happy, seen, accepted, & understood was death...

[knoxs2nd]

kinzo lived to atone for his sins and refused to die until then, while yasu lived to be understood, and chose to die afterward.

the disconnect in the magic ending because battler thinks beatrice wants to be told she can atone for her sins and live, but that was never her goal.

in episode 7, will knew all along exactly what clair was asking for: to be understood in death, and saw it as an act of love/duty to fulfill her wish, no matter how tragic. battler hoped that ultimately, beatrice wanted to live, but in the end, also comes to the same conclusion.

as readers we need to understand, yasu should never have gotten what she wanted. her worldview is so myopic, self-centered, distorted, and harmful to everyone, but on the other hand, us as readers needing to respect and find comfort that she died with some measure of peace she never had in life.

[knoxs2nd]

rereading the shannon vs beatrice ep2 scene and yes it hurts so bad from a yasu/mystery reading with her issues with dysphoria and sex and never being able to accomplish socially acceptable "love" aka het piv sex, and how that ties into her lack of self-worth and belief she'll never be loved or accepted for something out of her control

but also the scene is so painful from a magic reading? when i initially read it, i was confident that beatrice was a sexual assault victim because of how she talks about men, love, and lust, and how disgusting it all is. that can easily be read as her response to kinzo and what he did to the beatrices, especially beatrice ii, by imprisoning and raping them in the name of "love."

of course beatrice is angry at shannon talking about how the love between her and george is beautiful and should be cherished/protected, when kinzo (arguably) killed dozens of people and (undeniably) imprisoned beatrice for decades and raped her because of his love.

and the extra layers because george, the man whose love for shannon is being upheld by the narrative as something sacred and precious, is literally that man's grandson. it's just a matter of time, beatrice says. the sin flows in their blood.

oftentimes the fantasy readings of scenes are more comforting or happier, but mmm in this one i'd say they are equally painful, just in very different ways

[knoxs2nd]

me when i think about how episode 8 was battler giving ange a choice on extending understanding and forgiveness, after having all the info laid out in front of her and how it's ultimately up to her, versus how yasu was railroaded and manipulated into forgiving kinzo with zero context

[knoxs2nd]

thinking on yasu's views on kinzo and why she feels compelled to understand him (and why her understanding him has to happen, thematically) is because she's grappling with the fact that he is her culprit

with the understanding that witches = culprits, and with the understanding that up until now, yasu had been playing this game where she cast herself in the role of witch/culprit because

1) it's fun

2) culprits are *interesting*

unpiecing the culprit's heart is the most important and most rewarding part of the mystery novel, of life. in yasu's view of the world, being a witch is great fun, but there's also a part of her that would like to be understood, for someone to understand her "force of heart"

but up until november 29, 1984...yasu had never really had to face a culprit in her real life. she had been idealizing the narrative importance of the culprit and how emotional and human they must be, and fantasizing herself in that role.

learning of kinzo's past, she comes to the visceral realization that the culprit has to commit a crime. something that ruins other people's lives, that steals their happiness away from them. his sin that resulted in yasu like this, feeling cursed from birth and subhuman.

of course yasu feels repulsed by him! of course she is disgusted by the fact that she is borne of his blood! he committed unforgivable crimes that killed so many people, left so many others traumatized, and then cursed her with this Single Truth, that it's all his fault.

but at the same time...she had seen him at his death, when he found out about her existence. before she knew about his being her culprit. at that time, when confronted with kinzo, she couldn't hate him.

she was bewildered, yes, but she had been on the receiving end of that "force of heart" right there, and all she could do in that moment was grant kinzo's final request to call him "father" and bring him peace...she wanted to forgive and save him, then...

the thing is. yasu had already "forgiven" kinzo when he died. she can't exactly take back the fact that she called him father and that he died without regrets, or how, right then and there, she felt moved and like she'd done the right thing.

she learns of his sins only afterwards (thanks, team genji) and the exact nature of how he'd been the cause of all her suffering. and. what then? feel so revolted and wish she hadn't done it? but she had also been witness to his immense grief, madness, and regret.

she can't blindly forgive him, like she unwittingly already did, nor can she blindly hate him, because...she still felt for him when he died, as two human beings, as a part of her worldview that values understanding the heart's mysteries as the basis of human connection...

for her own sake, yasu needs to understand kinzo and what drove him, the heart that could both commit such terrible crimes and yet spend decades trying to repent.

just as we come to understand yasu as umineko's culprit, yasu comes to understands kinzo, her - beatrice's - culprit.

[knoxs2nd]

me, not normal and in tears: yasu feeling deep to her core that she needs to understand kinzo and love him and hate him and feel disgusted by him and sympathize with him and see how much suffering he caused but also acknowledge how deeply he loved

how he's the worst and could hurt so many so horrifically but at the same time, she saw him at his rawest and most honest, when he sobbed and begged her for her forgiveness and offered her literally everything in the barest attempt to make up for his sins!

having to reconcile that!!! god!!

[knoxs2nd]

going insane how the one (1) (ONE!!) time yasu could acknowledge a family member, what she had been so desperately dreamed of, the one time she could claim family of her own

it was her calling kinzo "father"

yasu, with the revelation she's related to a good chunk of people she interacts with: *closes eyes* we simply do not see it. in fact, we are going to choose to reject it, especially in regard to george, jessica, and battler.

listen...the relationship that yasu has with kinzo. how she feels she NEEDS to forge some sort of understanding and relationship with the one person that she accepts as her family, no matter how abhorrent she finds him. the only person who ever acknowledged her as his child.

how yasu can only come to this understanding of kinzo - who he is, and why he did what he did - with the safe distance that comes with him being dead.

yasu badly wanted family, and when she realizes she does have biological relatives, the only ones she can acknowledge are kinzo and "beatrice" who are safe and dead and remain concepts that she can think about and consider, but not interact with, who can't affect her in reality.