koderenn

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in the cracks of light i dreamed of you

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And the darkness keeps on falling for the light

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[koderenn]

John Bauer - Agneta and the Sea King (1911)

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i shared a secret with you that day

you told me it was okay to walk away

you gave me a wink and a smile

as your waves splashed the shore

you said: I am the one with no memory

i often wonder about the tides you pull

such strength through wind and rain

sea swept kiss

[koderenn]

Interrogation

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Former Olympic ice-skating legend Kylo Ren and the Olympic hopeful he has reluctantly agreed to train, Rey Kenobi.

For Irene…@koderenn’s “Black Ice”, with my thanks & appreciation! 💕 !

Commissioned from the brilliant artist,@bloomsbury.

Read it at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44000820/chapters/110633685

(Check out the motorcycle helmet! 😍)

[koderenn]

ADAM, IN "M" Magazine, 2014, BY Brian Bower.- COURTESY ADAM DRIVER MEDIA

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Ben Solo, an Olympic medalist in figure skating recently withdrawn from his career due to an accident, is appointed to be Rey's instructor, the promising new talent of their generation.

He is known for his fierceness and cold-blooded dedication - a heart of ice that feels nothing for no one.

He warns Rey that excellence and victory come at great cost.

Only, what she seeks is not meant to have a price---

b l a c k i c e ✨️

Read chapter 4 here

Read from the beginning here

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É isso que o público quer ver.

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New/old Adam Driver photographed by Simon Emmett for Esquire, 2015

Via @ADArchiveMedia on Twitter

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traballos do mar

© Manoel T, 2023

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Kylo Ren

My favorite scene in this movie

[koderenn]

Kylo Ren

I’ve wondered what is it about Kylo Ren and Adam Driver that is so distinct and completely Kylo Ren. I’ve been a fan for a long time (since Girls started) and Adam Sackler doesn’t look like Adam Driver who doesn’t look like Kylo Ren who doesn’t look like…

I think it’s the physicality of his performance. He just bodily changes into Kylo. I never like I’m looking at Adam Driver when he’s Kylo. There’s also something about his gaze. It’s just kind of disconnected like he’s seeing and hearing more than what’s actually right in front of him, which kind of makes sense considering Snoke’s in his head and he’s deeply connected with the Force.

And his expressions. They’re just so idiosyncratic and distinctly Kylo. I am certain he pulls them out just for Kylo and it blows my mind.

Adam is amazing and I thought that before I fell in love with Kylo. There’s this scene in season 1 of Girls, he’s monologing in a play for Lena Dunham’s character, Hannah, and he’s just so magnetic. I wish I could find it because it’s so electric in that quintessentially Adam way. And he’s talking about something asinine–masturbating or summer camp–and Hannah just sits there and watches. And it’s fucking something. Even watching it as a TV episode you can feel the connection with Adam. It’s overwhelming–he is overwhelming in his intensity.

I’ve never encountered it with any other actor before. Not even close. There’s something that is so real and genuine about every role he plays and it blows me right the fuck away. 

And, oddly enough, I think that is what some people find offputting about his portrayal of Kylo. It’s raw (power hah) and vulnerable as fuck. Sometimes, it’s hard to watch. Sometimes, it hits so close to home that watching is all I can do to keep from bursting into tears in the theatres when he’s performing.

It’s uncanny. Unnerving. Forces people to look at the bad, the insecure, the shit they pack around with them and really make them look at all the ugliness we have within ourselves and wonder if he’s more of a reflection of our own self than we wish.

We’re all a mess of emotions and Kylo is the expression of that angst and unknowing and fear and hate and longing and desire and every ugly beautiful thing that makes him so tragically fucking human.

So frustratingly relatable.

People love to glorify the heroes in this story. Rey. Finn. Poe. Leia. Luke. And I love them all. I really do. But they’re not me. I’m not them.

But Kylo. He’s my guy. I’m ride or fucking die for him. And I know more than a few people who feel the same. I only hope that Kylo is given a proper conclusion in IX because I don’t know how my heart will take it if he isn’t.

And it’s fine if you hate him. It’s fine if you see things in him that scare you. He’s meant to be that way. But don’t fault others for seeing the flaws and wanting to get to the core of who he is, of what he’s become. For seeing the monster and loving the man within that character. For seeing ourselves reflected in the exaggerated shape of his character.

Because there’s a little monster in all of us and whether we’re able to admit it or not can be key to our own personal growth.

Life is hard. Forgiveness is needed. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget and you’re not less of a person for looking beyond the darkness and seeing something worthwhile. Because Kylo isn’t Snoke and this movie goes a long way to show it. People like Kylo Ren are the ones who need forgiveness the most.

The last thing I need in my life is another metaphor for how once you fuck up, you can never come back from it. I’ve seen that. Been there. Done with it.

This quote from Rose really hit hard for me, “This is how we’re going to win. Not by killing those we hate, but by saving those we love.”

I really hope it’s true. Star Wars has always meant a lot to me, more than a movie probably should, but it gave me hope and laughter and love in a life that was sometimes hard to go on living with.

And Kylo Ren/Ben Solo… “No one’s ever really gone,” Luke says. And I hope he means it.

[koderenn]

r i s e  { between worlds } 

“..i am the master of my fate: i am the captain of my soul” - invictus, w. e. henley 

[ first painting of 2020. the myth of orpheus + eurydice = star wars. i put a lot of emotional blood, sweat and tears into this one. poem mentioned has v. personal meaning for me ] 

instagram: @winterofherdiscontent 

[koderenn]

Solitude

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