koroqis

[koroqis]

you don’t need perfect conditions to start. you just need to start. five minutes of focus is better than waiting for motivation to come.

[koroqis]

When i woke up and opened the internet today, I found out that Flortilla / Marleen, the ship carrying humanitarian aid for Gaza, has been intercepted by the Israelis. I scrolled and scrolled and saw the riots and protests that is taking place all over the west and south. Silence from the middle east My heart grows heavy. My mind a mess. We are living through the third world war and have been so for a while now but in my south east asian place where my city barely makes sounds, I am to sit on my computer and bear witness, share what I can, pray that I can afford to get myself out of trouble first before I can imagine helping out. Was it like this for others who lived through terrible times. that we have work to do at the end of the day. i don't think normalcy is making sense for me again if this is what my people live through

[koroqis]

One second Im floating in the endless black and then in a snap, the blue flashes and swallows me

[koroqis]

I opted to write my ramblings into a platform like twitter but with the state of that circus now, i realize i ought to take my jest elsewhere

[koroqis]

I think its wild that if I shut my pretty mouth up, the horrors of reality is going to swallow me whole

[koroqis]

its not rocket science but i figured that the best way to decompress from all the shit i eat online is to pour out as much shit on to the internet as well. i lost the part of myself where i couldnt care less about online reach and how it would be received by a reader. but i would like to be that self again. to write something unworthy, corny, but real in this sea of emptiness

[koroqis]

I feel like chatgpt came around and everyone immediately forgot what they were doing to get stuff done before. like writing centers, extensions, extra help, templates, office hours, beta readers, random generators, and art and writing prompts have all existed for ages. even if you were cheating there's always been sparknotes, photomath, copying, paying someone else to do it, faking that your grandma died, and whatever. all of that stuff is more reliable and doesn't fuck over the planet. and you might actually learn something

[koroqis]

'how much space am i allowed to take up?'

theres so much intricacies in the being that is me but my fellow survivors who share shards of my different identities glow when they speak, when their messages resounds. i often think that they can speak for me too... but I'm starting to feel like I crave for someone to speak like me for me. and only I can do that

[koroqis]

sorry i wasnt listening my head has deafening screams to become more than just a service provider anyway whats up

[koroqis]

bo burnham was right

the internet will kill your brain

[koroqis]

i used to believe in the potential good of the internet. the open world amusement park with libraries and games. now I scroll through social media twice and I want to put a bullet through my head

[koroqis]

Take the demons away from me for a month and in the first days, the ugliness within has space to bloom.

Its not flowers, its shrooms. Its toxic and pretty. So bright, so vain. Its honest. 'Come to me a little closer.' 'Look how my flesh glisttens.' 'Hold me a little.' 'Bite me a bit.'

As if theres not enough struggles to come around, I create new ones from nothing. Black magic to drown me. I was given an exit for my woes and the door i went through is a pad i sit on and loiter in between.

What does it mean when the demons have left me yet i crave and i hunger. I thirst and i desire What does it mean when the demons have left me yet theres still blood on this road ive paved

[koroqis]

like how do i talk about the loneliness ive felt in my mother's cold shadow when the way she chats now is sunshine

the strange thing about writing your soul down is finding the means to let out the pain without tracing it back to those who've hurt me

[koroqis]

the strange thing about writing your soul down is finding the means to let out the pain without tracing it back to those who've hurt you

[koroqis]

its so damning to advocate for something thats so opposite for what you truly feel. and i mean for smaller, personal matters.

i will make my world comfortable for my loved ones to be themselves

[koroqis]

'I believe in the afterlife

Because someone needs to believe in me So that I am believed to be deserving by me. I am starting to forget what heaven on earth feels like, When i find myself forever in this watered down hell.

But if God and my folks can't care to guarantee me a good life, I need to get her there.

I pray that my soul is able to sleep in a bed with her head like clouds.'

[koroqis]

when i broke up with my ex who made music, i asked for permission to allow me to create art of us; of me; of what we had; and what we couldnt. it was a way of processing my emotions but then it slowly became just a creative exploration of the theme romantic separation. what im saying is—

ive moved past the bond and the person and all the art and love i still carry now iS MINE OKAY ITSA ME ONLY ME AND MINE BRO I GOT A BOMB ASS ART IDEA AND I NEED IT DOWN ON PAPER