kr-i

[kr-i]

toomanysweaters​:

“I learn things from school, and you sure as heck didn’t school ME!” Yeah, specifically her dancing Santa was what schooled her after she fell over with it. Shut up, she tried and that’s what counts. “And for your information, I DO plan on letting Halloween run it’s course!

The wreath is just an early gift, because you didn’t put up any decorations last year! You’re gonna need something, or I’ll tinsel your house again!” It’s like toilet papering a house, but with tinsel.

“excuse you, i do set up decorations. they’re called the ‘christmas sale’ tags i slap on some of the stuff around christmas time. i’m appalled you don’t recognize that as proper decoration.” he sets the wreath down beside the door, shrugging now.

“besides, more people show up for stuff at halloween time than christmas. candy sales are way up. why would i put more effort into christmas than halloween?”

[kr-i]

@toomanysweaters​ replied: How dare you

“kid, it’s literally september. at least let halloween run its course. didn’t you learn anything from our last war?”

[kr-i]

“...” He takes down a Christmas reef that got put on his door.

[kr-i]

“so, it comes down to this, huh?” He says this with all the seriousness he can put into his voice without being genuinely terrifying. He’s holding up a giant jack-o-lantern that does a witch’s cackle when you press the button.

[kr-i]

This shop will stand as Halloween’s final push back against Christmas until someone pries his 12-foot-tall skeleton (brother) from his dusty hands. 

[kr-i]

[kr-i]

“...y’know, real talk, fuck coding. because a single typo just breaks everything. not even a super easy typo. just shit like a ‘,’ instead of a ‘.’ breaks everything to kingdom come.”

[kr-i]

He’s not sleeping on a park bench because he forgot his keys. Not at all.

...

Along with forgetting he can just teleport inside. Don’t judge him, he’s had a rough day.

[kr-i]

“...huh, town’s kinda quiet lately, eh?” 

[kr-i]

“anyone here heard o’ kid nation? th’ fuck kind of shit is that? i don’t wanna say it’s funny because that’s literal psychological torture for some kids-- along with debatable child abuse-- but at th’ same time? kinda funny. i laughed. shouldn’t’ve but i did.”

[kr-i]

anyways it’s late (not really but lately 11 is late to me hhh i’m old) so i’mma dip.

[kr-i]

singcanarysing‌:

“It’s hard to scare me these days. What’s your business here Sans?” 

“eh, just wandering. i get antsy stayin’ in the same place too long, y’know?”

[kr-i]

thesickbcy‌:

“Ya right, a’course. Having it be blatant from the beginning is just the shit I need to make ‘em all really regret. Maybe I’ll set that other one as my text tone for someone who deserves it, or texts me a lot. Either or.”

“can’t go wrong with that. ya havin’ a nice serious conversation and you get a series of text messages so yer phone flips t’ fuck out. once had someone text me thirteen messages and my bro freaked.”

[kr-i]

“go by sans. sorry if i spooked ya ‘r somethin’.”

kr-i started following you

Who the hell are you? 

[kr-i]

Anyways, here’s this. Because everyone needs to hear that in a kermit voice.

[kr-i]

at least i shut my phone into vibrate when i’m like at a date or smth. could you imagine tho?

[kr-i]

thesickbcy‌:

“Eggggggsactly. They’d be rude t’tell me how t’do MY job, hah.” Scratches his chin a bit. “Still, I bet they’d prefer the other option to the choice’a music I’m gonna use. Tell me, is it bad enough t’make ‘em regret bein’ around me for too long? Or maybe i should go with this one…”

“on one hand, the first one’s pretty amusing because it starts off like a regular phone ringing, though I’d have to go with the second one. it’s a lot more obnoxious so it’ll be easier to realize you’ve got a call or somethin’. obviously the reason>”