kraangkiller9000 - Tumblr blog

[kraangkiller9000]

Log 1; Status Update

I figured you'd like to hear how I'm doing.

This is Othello Von Ryan- it's January 14th, 2040.

20 years ago, our world, Earth, was taken over by Kraang- but I'm sure you know that already.

We're... Managing.

We don't really celebrate the New Year anymore. Leo tried to get me to do so, but there's a lot of work to do. I couldn't waste my time like that.

Our food stock is in a stable position. Not enough to feast, but Leo made due without it.

They were loud- I praise myself for making this base with soundproof walls otherwise we'd have been found out years ago.

... Did you know Cassandra Jones has a fucking son?

Probably not. He's 13 years old. He helps out in the lab sometimes. No idea who fathered him- Cassandra isn't comfortable sharing, so as far as I'm concerned he doesn't exist. She and April have been raising him up together anyway.

And as for my brothers...

Leo isn't... Doing well. After New Years, he didn't stop drinking. At first, I didn't care, because it was just about 3. But- apparently he kept going. Found him yesterday passed out.

Worst part is I knew exactly what was going on- but I didn't want to talk about it. So- I did the sensible thing and ignored it.

I locked away all the alcohol with a passcode only I could access- and he's been doing... Better. Sort of. I actually haven't seen him much since.

Mikey has given me status updates- Raph has been too busy on patrols.

Nobody's... Told him. April is the one most upset about it.

But he doesn't need anymore stress on his shoulders.

None of us do.

...

I apologize for the rather disappointing update, but we're alive.

That's all that matters to me.

This is Othello Von Ryan, also known as Kraangkiller9000- signing out.

[kraangkiller9000]

I'd say that went well.

[kraangkiller9000]

Question for the nerd since hes so smart: If the sky is fuzzy but its bastille day in siberia, does that make the oven purple or angry? Or would the oven just remain tasteless?

... Why are you tasting ovens?

Not that weird. Remember when Raph tried to eat a baseball bat because he saw a beaver on TV do it?

I WAS FIVE!

Some crimes can't be forgiven.

Even if Raph was five?

Even if Raph was five.

[kraangkiller9000]

In which Mikey and Donnie adopt a Krang puppy to spite Leo

[kraangkiller9000]

donnie, are you able to proceed with your out personal experiments or does the krang stuff take up all of your time?

-🦷

I'd never give up on my precious babies-

But I suppose it's... Been taking up a lot of my time...

I haven't checked on TERRA in a while.

[kraangkiller9000]

*GASP*

RAPH HUGS?? YES PLS??

@duckanon [if is cool if i become a regular here?]

Can't say I've ever had anyone beat Mikey's excitement for hugs until now!

[kraangkiller9000]

Donnie, kind sir, if I do a full lip cleanse, can I perhaps give you a kiss on the forehead

What? No. I don't even know you.

[kraangkiller9000]

Skrunklies <3

Giving you all a little kith on the forehead /p

@duckanon

Oh- Thank you! I can't say I'll offer one back, as I don't want to scratch you, but will a hug do?

Aww!!! Thank you!!! Mwah mwah mwah-

He simply makes kissy noises while hugging you.

Don't.

You're stopped before you can even try. He doesn't seem comfortable. Please do not proceed.

Woah, woah, I know I'm irresistible but calm down!

[kraangkiller9000]

(lighthearted) I am totally unfamiliar with all this. How can a turtle have hair

It's such an odd phenomenon! Turtles can indeed grow hair- but it's only certain species, and somehow Mikey won the genetic lottery combined with his human DNA!

Hmph. Couldn't give me eyebrows though. No, that'd be too generous! Scoff.

[kraangkiller9000]

im usually more of a fan of leo but,,,,, mikeys so cool here........

Aw, thank you so much!!! I'm glad to hear you think that! I think you're cool too.

[kraangkiller9000]

Cry.

Excuse me? If you're here to try and bring our moods down, do me a favor,

And fuck right off.

[kraangkiller9000]

So Kraangkiller9000 how many Kraang have you killed?

The number rises everyday. The bastards deserve it!

[kraangkiller9000]

So how are, things? With everyone and life? Any interesting tidbits or drama going on?

With Nardo, there's always drama.

What? Me? Dramatic? Never!

But there has been a bit of a food shortage. But I think we'll find some. This was New York, after all.

Raph's sure we will! C'mon, Don, lighten up. If we can't, you can just engineer food or something!

I'm not sure he knows how to create matter out of nothing- but it's certainly an idea!

[kraangkiller9000]

Why are they all bald except the orange one? Shave him or give the others wigs, I beg you.

While I agree it's a crime he has hair and we don't, unfortunately we've sworn off wigs after Leo's incident in the Hidden City a long time ago... And Mikey won't let anyone close enough to cut his hair.

I smell jealousy!

Then get your nose checked!

[kraangkiller9000]

ornge. prebty amine by

Prebty... OH! YOU-

You mean... Aw, thank you! That's very kind of you!

[kraangkiller9000]

Thank you for showing your brother 👍 now let’s talk about you 🫵🏽 how autistic are you on a scale of to do lists are cool to if you touch my item and disrupt my entire system I will eat you and your family pet?

Bold of you to assume I need a reason to go to such measures.

Excuse me, what the fuck.

[kraangkiller9000]

Hello, just stopping by to say you're all amazing!

We know.