kryptidkhaos - Tumblr blog

[kryptidkhaos]

(you need to view the image or you'll just like the post)

Since people liked it i made a toy that works on the computer: https://nick-nonya.itch.io/trampoline-toy Have fun!

[kryptidkhaos]

what joke are you really tryin to tell when you make fun of appalachia and the greater south?

even when you "just" mock our accents (you and i both know what you're really implying when you take on the drawl), the punchline of your joke there is poverty.

those who prefer a more overt route over backhanded implication: when you laugh at our education, or lack thereof, the punchline of your joke is still poverty. systemically underfunded schools packed with underprivileged children who aren't getting the same standards of education as the rest of the country is a real knee slapper boy i tell you what

when you mock our dental health and start quipping about toothless hillbillies, you're still laughin at poverty. appalachia is disproportionately uninsured compared to the rest of the nation. fellas most of us can't afford the privilege of regular, preventative dental visits and checkups, let alone the cost of huge procedures when things finally get dire. beyond that, our poverty is generational. from the get go we inherit bad teeth from family who couldn't afford that shit neither.

in the same vein, when you make fatphobic comments about said disproportionately-uninsured region--one with few jobs available to begin with, let alone work that pays enough to afford wholesome, unprocessed foods that don't rot yer teeth for supper--the butt of your joke is,, u guessed it,, ✨ poverty ✨

but to me the real kicker is the cousin fucker jokes. how can you not see that when you snark about inbreeding, when you piss yourself over that infamous billboard and oh, how could anyone possibly need to be told that?!, your punchline is not only poverty and a lack of education enough to develop critical thinking skills and the ability to build safe support networks, but you're also usually guffawing at incestuous rape and vulnerable children on top of it. peak comedy.

really though, how is any of that funny?

what happens to everyone's class consciousness the moment we start talkin about the hollers n the deep south?

why does health insurance, quality education, and food security for all suddenly go from issues worth fighting for to punishments, and ones we deserve to be humiliated for on top of it?

i know im just a dumb ol hillbilly n all, but i reckon i just don't get what we're supposed to be laughin at here

[kryptidkhaos]

“why do i believe this” and “who benefits from me believing it” are the first steps to decolonization and we should all be doing this more

[kryptidkhaos]

For the last time: Mary Shelley and Lord Byron were friends. She didn't hate him. His death was a very painful loss to her. She didn't write Frankenstein because she was stuck in a house with him and he was an unbearable person. For God's sake, just read her journals and letters.

[kryptidkhaos]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

[kryptidkhaos]

I did it! I managed to get this week's free post up on Patreon! It's Sunday morning, but we can all pretend it's Friday for long enough to read this, right?

Check this post out if you want to see a cosplay makeup test, some sketchbook practice, and a roundup of what media I've been into lately!

I've also got an update on my 2024 pledge drive:

[kryptidkhaos]

Freeing the water lily from algae

[kryptidkhaos]

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

[kryptidkhaos]

Remember this joke?

Well, I am going to do something similar only with photography. This is a photo someone took for an Amazon review of their Clinique products.

Honestly, it is not a terrible photo. They did some staging. They have an interesting background. All of the labels are legible. It is properly exposed. This would be a perfectly acceptable product photo for an Etsy page.

I've been taking these advanced photography courses in preparation for whenever I am able to create a new studio in the house. And my teacher is a photography badass. I just watched a 6 hour class on how to recreate a professional Clinique ad. And at first glance it looks deceptively simple. It's just some skin care products being splashed with a little water.

Which is why I wanted you to see an average person for reference.

This is what Karl Taylor came up with.

And I don't think I've learned so much about photography in one tutorial before.

Product photography is just loads and loads of problem solving. You have to light the chrome caps with a gradient. Which requires giant diffusion scrims.

Those big white panels are literally only there for the two chrome caps.

You need a pure white background, but you can't let light spill all over the studio, so you put up giant black light blockers.

And you have to add another light just for the orange bottle on the right.

Oh, and if you want the bottles to glow, well, you have to hide a silver reflector behind them.

But you still want the edges of the bottles to be darker so they have some contrast. So you add some black tape to the sides.

And in order for the reflective labels to have bold black lettering, you have to reflect black cards into them.

Ack! Karl's beautiful bald head is showing up in the chrome caps! He must put on the naughty blanket.

And once you get every aspect of every bottle perfectly lit, you finally get to yeet some water at it all.

I don't love product photography because I have a weird obsession to help greedy corporations make their wares look more beautiful. I love it because it is a complicated and challenging new puzzle every time. Every product is a different shape and requires a different technique to make it look its best.

I don't know if I will be able to live up to Karl's standards.

This is about the level I was at in 2017 before I quit photography.

I have so much more knowledge in my brain now. I'm really hoping I can surpass that.

[kryptidkhaos]

daddy's got to be honest kitten. i don't think we're finding the northwest passage

[kryptidkhaos]

the Salem storyline in Sabrina the teenage witch is so so good bc like the wizard supreme court or whatever is like 'this man is the most dangerous war criminal in history. he has tried to commit genocide and become a dictator in many different dimensions. we can't give him the death penalty bc he used dark ancient magic to make himself immortal so we've trapped him in the body of a feline for eternal torture. it is the Spellman's duty to hold him prisoner for us'. and then the Spellman's are just like kitty,,,...........we're gonna get him a special pillow to sit on and buy him funny little outfits and cuddle with him while we sleep. he's the glue holding this family together we love him so much

[kryptidkhaos]

She's not interested in participating in the day

[kryptidkhaos]

thank you scherz et al. for bringing us the frogs Mini ature, Mini mum and of course, the Mini scule

[kryptidkhaos]

Behold

[kryptidkhaos]

embroidery on blouse, by Elsa Olsson/Fevernest, 2019

[kryptidkhaos]

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆ ₊˚ dark damp habitat moodboard╶⃝⃤