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watching it ch. 1 with my roomie. she’s roasting all of the kids and i am desperately trying to defend them. also i miss u all <3

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not me, only half way though bly manor and already dying to create a blog for one of the characters 🙃

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Mom, please, please. Don’t cry, okay?

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hey ya’ll sorry i haven’t been around. life is currently stressing me tf out and i’m struggling all the time, so being on here just isn’t really fitting into my day right now. but as usual, i will return.

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                    .ɪ       only    𝓨𝓞𝓤 !      can    make    all    this    change    in    me…     𝔽𝕆ℝ  𝕀𝕋'𝕊  𝕋ℝ𝕌𝔼 !      you    are    my    destiny.      when    you   hold   𝓶𝔂   𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓭 ,     I    UNDERSTAND…     the   𝖒𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖈    that    you    do .      you're    my    dream    come    true !    𝑶𝑵𝑳𝒀    𝒀𝑶𝑼 !        ❜

𝙼𝚄𝙻𝚃𝙸 - 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴    ft.    charas    from    harry    potter ,     far    cry    5 ,     marvel ,     dc     &     more !    as   adored   by   𝐦𝐚𝐜 .

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when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday ” that hurt me

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BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SENTENCE STARTERS I  —   quotes pulled from the youtube series hosted by ryan bergara and shane madej. feel free to make alterations.

i’m gonna be so pissed off if we die. 

that sounds like a bad idea, and i love it.

if you’re gonna kill a bunch of people, you might as well have some fun with it.

this is what happens when people don’t have hobbies.

did you just call the demon a motherfucker?

i got a life-changing thing to tell you here.

we’re friends. it’s a friendship.

there’s something weird going on in this little town.

i’m about to die for the internet.

enough of you being a phony and a liar.

keep in mind we have to spend the night here.

this place is a living nightmare.

i was doing some heteronormative bullshit!

well, i think we can never show our faces here ever again.

doesn’t that sound great? wouldn’t’ you like to be haunted by me?

i’m gonna serve you up a fresh truth pancake.

maybe it’s about to get a whole lot weirder.

you’re my friend! i would be concerned if you disappeared!

i’m not gonna let you goad me into this, i know what you’re trying to do.

give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous.

can you just look a little bit worried?

i’m starting to think you want to die.

any extra time with you is a punishment.

you seem to be well-versed in the arts of sexual deviance.

sexiness is relative, motherfucker! 

i’d say about half of it i don’t remember doing.

did you just wink at me?

we’re just two guys sitting in a tub. 

i got so distracted by the tongue thing.

my fucking heart almost exploded, dude.

don’t just claim i killed jfk.

you know how much of a pyschopath you have to be to enjoy that?

your unrelenting skepticism is exhausting. 

i’m not trying to do that whole dismissive thing, but i’m dismissing it.

this has been a huge waste of time.

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sorry for being inactive !!  my best friend’s birthday was yesterday : )  but i will be back !

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“Zero days since our last nonsense”

— Mike Hanlon to the losers, probably

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  ( )     SINGLE          ( )     TAKEN          ( x )     CURSED   OR   SOME   SHIT

                                  independent original oc.     by syd.

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i’m  still a believer and i  don’t  know  why

ind. mutually priv. multi fandom multimuse. featuring fandoms such as schitt’s creek, it chapter 1 and 2, dc comics, deadpool 1 and 2 , the punisher, one chicago, good omens, vertigo’s fables, hbo barry, stranger  things, the chilling adventures of  sabrina, and  more  (  loved  by  pam  )   please read rules  before  interaction. 

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I know I don’t say this enough but thanks for following me. it means a lot.

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anyways, i’m really in the mood to write some angst .

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message : forelsket — the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love

from : @trashtozier​​

AT FIRST IT HITS HIM LIKE A BRICK WALL...  running face first into pain and suffering and yearning. it’s seeing his face in his mind and suddenly feeling under the weather - hyperventilating while his sense of sight suddenly filled with black spots and goes blurry. fingers searching for his inhaler and blasting two puffs of medication  ( though he knows it’s only a placebo )  into his mouth and allowing it to cool down his entire body. careful inhales of fresh air to EASE the trembling. the realization is filled with panic and terror and in the very back of his mind he’s sure it’s ma’s voice reminding him how sick this is. how her poor eddie  -  bear is ill and she’s the ONLY ONE who can heal him.

realizing that he’s IN LOVE with his best friend turns into three entire days of avoiding richie tozier. a feat that nearly tears him apart.

it’s three days of walking the halls and looking over his shoulder or ducking into a classroom when he thinks he hears that familiar voice shouting his name. some bullshit EXCUSE mumbled to bill or beverly as to why he has to hurry home as soon as the school bell rings to release it’s students. eddie FEELS sick, his stomach in knots, twisting and turning all twenty four hours of the day. he barely sleeps. and as an added measure - the walkie talkie  ( still hidden under his pillow )  is turned off for the first time in years. three whole days of not feeling like himself, actually believing the voice in his head when it reminds him that this is some sickness. the very sickness that his mother warned him about nearly each time richie hung around. as if she could sense it.

      but then  -  eddie comes to his senses.

he remembers that time, just a few years ago, when he’d thrown the pill bottles onto the floor and told his mother he was DONE taking the placebos. it had been the day he’d promised himself he was done succumbing to a fake illness. no longer was he allowing his world to revolve around that damn watch that beep beep beeped !  at the same time every day as a reminder to take those medications. the same day he’d tossed his fanny pack and decided to be BRAVE. of course, this doesn’t mean he’s going to waltz up to richie and express his undying love. they still live in this hell hole of a small town. kids still walk the halls searching for others to tear down and talk about in whispered conversation behind their backs. it takes three days to get over his fears, seventy two hours of hell without his best friend. but eddie has always been strong, underneath it all. always been braver than anyone gives him credit for.

      ❛ richie, wait up !! ❜

VOICE ECHOES THROUGH THE HALLS  as he sees the black curly hair turning the corner. the smaller boy picks up his pace, holding onto the straps of his backpack as he sprints ahead to catch up. a smile curls onto his lips  -  obviously there’s no pretending that he didn’t just IGNORE his best friend for days. but, that’s what apologies are for. they have been through worse. gaze fills with unsaid regret as he looks up at richie, gulping down the panic and worry. he continues to smile through it, allows himself to feel the warmth that spreads through him at just the sight of his dorky glasses and untameable hair. eddie loves richie.            A FACT;  like how the grass is green and the sky is blue. it simply took a minute for eddie to allow himself to understand it - though it’s been there for years. longer than he could even know.

      ❛ sorry for, y’know. disappearing. ❜  eddie says, holding eye contact. if he looks away, he might chicken out.  ❛ do you wanna hang out after school? ma gave me my allowance early, we can go to the comic book store! there’s a new punisher issue out. we can read it together...  like we used to. ❜  shoulders rise and fall, words falling from his lips faster than he can think of them. getting it out before richie can interrupt him.

it’s wanting to be CLOSE to richie, to hold his hand like they did when they were ten years old and running to the playground. it’s feeling his heart beat faster each time richie holds his gaze in a crowd. how he can’t help but smile when one of those stupid nicknames follows some dumb joke said just to make him laugh. eddie might have been scared of it at first, but he’s NOT AFRAID. he’s never been afraid to be himself around richie. why change that now ?

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message :  retrouvaille — the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery

from : @stoiretale  /  bev

SEEING HER AGAIN WAS LIKE COMING HOME..  something that will never be understandable is how eddie had forgotten all of his best friends, how he’d forgotten beverly. and, they’d all come to the conclusion that the whole FORGETTING THING had been linked to derry, to the fucking clown. not only had it stolen their childhoods, but it took twenty seven long years away from them where they hadn’t actually known themselves. hadn’t gotten to grow old with their friends. and  -  how fucked up is that ?? seeing beverly walk through the doors of the jade was  —  it was like everything he lost came rushing back to him. a sense of FAMILIARITY washing over his entire being.

he remembers the summers they had together. how thankful all of the losers had been when beverly hadn’t had to move away from derry after that summer. the losers had been allowed to have more summers to GROW closer. that bond between them strengthening with every single day  ( unfortunately it wasn’t strong enough to power through leaving maine ) . where richie was eddie’s best friend, beverly was like a confidant. the two of them got their first jobs together at the small ice cream shoppe that eddie can’t remember the name of. the two of them growing even closer during those evenings, scooping ice cream. of course, they had shared secrets between one another. conversations at work stayed in that cold shop. just between the two of them. the job, though it only lasted during the hot summers, had been like a second HOME to eddie. where he got away from his mother’s grasp and her worries. he could leave behind the inhaler and countless pill bottles that his mother insisted on him taking even though he didn’t need them. it seemed like bev could always see through eddie  -  even if he didn’t always like it. she knew what was going on in his mind.

seeing her again was like finding a sentimental item from his childhood. it was something he wanted to hold CLOSE and never let go of. of course this meeting at the restaurant was for reasons none of them were ready for, eddie would have been okay with it never ending. he hopes that, this time, when they all leave derry once more  ( if they leave )  they will all be allowed to keep their memories.

      ❛ bev        ❜

it comes out among a sigh of relief. lips already curved up into a grin, teeth showing. brows coming together and creating lines in his forehead. eyes water slightly, causing her to become blurry. they’re blinked away just as quickly, taking the few steps towards her to throw arms around her shoulders. she seems THE SAME. all around. like suddenly they’re thirteen year olds again, scuffed knees and bicycles dropped at their feet. all SMILES and wide eyes. creases stay in the skin near his eyes as he pulls back, because they’re not kids. they’re all nearing forty or so. but it feels the same, regardless.  ❛ i’ve missed you, ❜  he tells her. even though he’s just remembered who she was.  ❛ god. i’m glad i didn’t chicken out of coming here. ❜

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message :  jayus — a joke so unfunny and poorly told that you can’t help but laugh

from : @chucklicious​

THIS IS HOW ITS BEEN THEIR ENTIRE FRIENDSHIP...  the two of them are surely closer than any of the other losers. be it, the simple fact that the two boys feed off of one another’s personality. richie, just chaotic and unmedicated, needed an OUTLET for his antics  -  his ever running mind that no one can keep up with. the voices and jokes that others rolls their eyes at. eddie on the other hand, is cooped up in his home with an overbearing mother who doesn’t allow her son to be who he is, has no way of expressing who he really is. he’s quiet when home, unused energy pent up and hidden away. when they get together  ( outside of school or on the off chance eddie is allowed out of the house )  it’s their only chance to let those sides of themselves COME OUT and play. their energies match, bounce off of one another. it’s one of the many reasons why they are best friends.

each of his friends mean something to him. something that could never be taken away. they’re more family than anyone else - including his mother. but, when richie gives eddie his FULL attention, that’s when his heart races or skips a beat. he’ll pretend to shake his head and shove richie’s hand away when fingers pinch at his cheek and calls him cute  ( the pink rising in his cheek is not something that needs to be brought up ! ) . now, this certainly doesn’t mean that eddie laughs at all of richie’s jokes. sometimes being the first to tell richie to SHUT UP when he pulls some stupid voice out at the worst time possible. or he will straight ignore richie for the sake of his own sanity.

but at times, he simply cannot help himself. a joke rolling off richie’s tongue at the most inopportune time, something stupid that eddie wouldn’t know how to repeat, not that he’d want to. for a moment, silence falls over them, richie’s british accent faulty as he delivers the punchline. a smile pulls at the shorter boy’s lips, despite trying to hide it and will it away. it only grows, turning into a toothy grin before giggles bubble through his lips. before eyes close completely, eddie is sure he can see stanley rolling his eyes and sighing. it’s worth it when eddie opens his eyes again to see the wide smile on richie’s lips, the JOY that overtakes his big eyes behind those black glasses.

      ❛ you’re such an idiot, rich. sometimes i think you genuinely forget that you jokes are so dumb it’s hard not to laugh. ❜  ( a safe cover up for his giggles. )