kudakii

[kudakii]

Hi! I saw your fanart of Petra (from Heart of Battle) and just wanted to say I LOVE IT!!!!

I know you did it in like 2022 but I just really needed to express how much it means to me.

You drew him EXACTLY as I pictured him in my head. I literally almost sobbed because I've just finished the chapter where I had to tell him we can't be end game. (I thought I could have multiple love interests, turns out Petra isn't down for that... maybe we'll get another chance in the next chapters.)

Anyways, you might have already moved on from the "interactive stories" phase, but your art has genuinely made my day💛

hiii! oh my gosh... receiving this feels insane to me. YOU'RE the one making my day, this message makes me so so so so happy😭

and NOOO YOU HAD TO LEAVE HIM? that must've been painful.... he really is the sweetest, he's such a gentle soul... everything about him makes me want to shower him with affection. so did you eventually get to end game with him? please share if you're okay with that, i'll never tire of talking about heart of battle, it's such a gem.

ALSOOO NO WAY I'VE MOVED ON from my interactive stories phase (or i have? but i'll just come back? i've just been letting my faves simmer by reading other things in the past 1.5 years, like i'm waiting for the soul stone war or keeper trilogy to update more). i don't think i'll ever move on from interactive fiction, ever!! i'd love to hear recommendations from recent releases from you if you're okay with sharing!! 🥺

(whatwith tumblr UI changing over the years i genuinely do Not know how to answer this privately so i'll just post it and tag you so you'll be notified, sorry!!! @astralis-is-typing)

[kudakii]

me when someone complains about something that's been genuinely bothering me too but i just brushed it off because i was worried that i was just bitchy/callous/sensitive but now I feel Vindicated

[kudakii]

My body is a machine that turns 11am intzzzzzz,,zz,zz,, waigt huh whjat was that

[kudakii]

So last month I got hit by a car and died right. Which I didn't initially realize until I watched some guy haul my body into his pickup and drive off. Which, being that it's deep in rural Michigan, I assume means my body will make some venison jerky and maybe some wall decoration, and I'll be resigned to being one of hundreds of deer ghosts floating around Saginaw, which is w/e. But then I find out the guy works at a taxidermy shop or something, and he's actually pretty good at stuffing and mounting deer carcasses, which I come to find out when I find myself face to face with my old body in the shop window. So naturally, I figure since ghosts need to possess something to interact with the living world and etc etc etc the most logical thing to do is to possess my own body, since it's basically a statue of myself. And a little surprisingly, it actually fits like a glove. Like, since it's my body, it feels like stepping right back into place. So I get out of town and back to my herd, eventually. And that's where the trouble starts coming into it, because after I get settled again, I don't know how to explain to everyone else what feels so weird. Like since I can move my body and do everything I used to do, it's functionally the same, like nothing happened. Or it SHOULD be, so I don't know how to explain how it's NOT. But it's just hard to explain it to someone who's never been hit by a truck I guess

[kudakii]

(Seeing a cis straight couple for the first time) I think I’m gonna be sick… What the fuck do you even call this…? Dark Yuri? Unfaggot? Do they have a fucking word for this? (Flashing back to my troubled childhood) Oh my god… This is that Marge and Homer shit isn’t it

[kudakii]

"oh i really love xyz character-" really? outside the context of shipping?

[kudakii]

I LOVE MAIRUMA AND LOVETRIO

[kudakii]

I ordered a custom crepe and it seems the chef approves of my design

[kudakii]

Wall have ears. They also love gossip and having your attention 🫶✨

[kudakii]

On my local weather channel theres this small 20 somethings guy who does the minor weather and my family is so enchanted by him. He wears the most egregious suits and ties that make my grandparents go off the rails. Sometimes he blends in with the green screen and my grandparents go farther off the rails. My entire family calls him "sheldon" because any skinny white geeky guy is Sheldon Cooper to them. There is currently a huge tornado on the way and they sent Sheldon to go check it out. Sheldon sounds like he's crying in the middle of this horrible rain and my grandparents are so upset about it. Sheldon could die out there. Why did they have to sacrifice him? Sacrificing their young. My grandmother has started a grudge against the main weather man for abusing poor poor Sheldon. I will update if Sheldon survives.

[kudakii]

i made a list while i was hiking apparently

[kudakii]

[kudakii]

Secret rivalry

[kudakii]

i am so hard right now actually

[kudakii]

Chapter 1: I've been transported to a new world and must suck 100 dicks to get home??

Chapter 407: Grasping me by the shoulders, my bloodied senior says my father's death wasn't my fault, that I was just a scared kid and that I'm allowed to seek comfort. Weeping, I suck his-- my hundredth-- dick

[kudakii]

maybe this is just me idk

[kudakii]

okay, i finished room no.9, and before rating it and talking about things i love about it, here's something really interesting: do you guys know the movie funny games? the concept of this movie is that you, the viewer, are complicit in the horrible things happening to the victims of the movie. the villain breaks the fourth wall multiple times, talks to the audience, and repeats that they have to make things Entertaining. that really echoed when i read rn9's director commentary: "i hope you enjoyed this game while harboring guilt"

because that was what i couldn't figure out while i was playing the game—reading through whatever the characters were experiencing felt like agony, it was genuinely uncomfortable at times. and i don't even mean it like, oh it's too kinky, too dead dove, no. in terms of the acts of debauchery and gore in fiction, i've consumed wayy crazier things, this is nothing compared to those. but the way rn9 is written is purposefully made to be very distressing and uncomfortable, be it for the characters, OR the readers. the way the characters' reactions are written is to be quite realistic, and the depiction of dissociation, delving into madness while mostly keeping most of yourself, the times laughter was the only thing they could do in absolute disbelief—it's just so well written.

and while playing, i often wondered the same thing daichi did, why the hell would anyone do this to them? why are there people doing this for entertainment, just to see them suffer, nobody's enjoying this—then i realize that it's because i exist that they're going through this ordeal—it's because i am part of the depraved masses behind the cameras who want to see them suffer, and the feeling of discomfort remained throughout the game. i wanted to stop playing if that meant daichi and seiji would stop suffering—and yet i cant stop because i have to finish it, and the fact that i choose to keep playing (choose to keep them suffering, keep even MYSELF suffering) simply out of curiosity and the need of entertainment?

this depressing feeling really reminded me of funny games. brilliant movie. rn9 is also brilliant for doing this. idk if this was intentional or not, i think not, but it's a really cool way to look at this game (and the movie funny games heh heh). and with this, i'm not saying psychological horror and gore/violence/other dd:dne content is bad (i love them), i'm saying that this game managing to make me feel queasy because of that, when i generally enjoy violence and sex in other games, it means they really hit the nail on the psychological horror part of the game