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[kuronekojj]

A quelqu'un que j'adore et que je n'aurai jamais....

Hello, the coolest human ever.

So, this is the guy who's like the coolest ever, a social butterfly, and supposedly the most attractive, like, seriously! Well, it's kinda true, that's why you have so many friends. Anyway, I just wanna say thanks for being super friendly and incredibly humble. And don't you dare stop being that awesome after reading this, okay? Keep it up, 'cause there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. And don't laugh, I'm pretty sure you'll be surprised, speechless, and laugh your head off reading this peak of comedy.

At first, I thought you were just one of those regular some random ppl who wanted to be friends with me, and I'm really thankful that you're so close to me rn. Seriously, Jul, you're a good person, humble, easygoing, and natural cool. No wonder you have so many friends, 'cause you're great at making people feel comfortable around you. But, Idunno since when I kinda started catching feelings for you, and at first, I thought it was just me admiring you. It's also awesome how much I've grown to adore Jay, honestly, thanks to you. I wanna thank you for making me admire Jay so much; he's truly someone worth looking up to. But then, after a few days went by, I was always stoked when you replied to my mentions. It made me so happy when your name popped up in my notifications and mentions. Sometimes, I'd read your messages first, but I'd purposely take a bit longer to reply, you know, to not make it too obvious that I was catching feelings for you. Hahaha. I feel so stupid for getting attracted to you, and I keep denying it... but here I am, still liking you after 27 days and counting. After getting to know you, I realized that you really deserve much greater love. You're too good to be hurt by people, and I don't wonder why people around you want to protect you because you deserve the best.

I thought this would only last a few days, and I was adamant about un-crushing myself because I felt so dumb. I have some pretty strong reasons for that. I've been questioning myself why I caught feelings for someone through mere mentions; I've never been like this before. I swear, Jul. I didn't have the courage to come up to you 'cause I figured I'd never have a chance. But just talking to you like a buddy already puts a big smile on my face. Being friends with you makes me super happy. I actually feel grateful because, for the first time, I've secretly liked someone all this time, and I'm turning it into a new experience, hahaha.

But, here I am, writing this, not expecting anything... I just wanted to get it off my chest. If you feel uncomfortable around me after reading this, it's okay, I understand... thanks for taking the time to read it. I want to apologize if maybe you're reading this and you already have a s/o; I didn't know about that, I'm truly sorry for them. After this confession, I won't be chasing after you, flirty or anything. If you still wanna interact with me, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you, Julian. Stay be my friends, okay? Pretty please.. I hope you're still willing to be friends with me, and I won't burden you with this... I promise. I'll always support u here even u have a s/o already; I'm genuinely happy for your happiness. It'll sting a bit, but being avoided by u would hurt even more..

By the way, I'll never send this note, maybe I'll just leave it alone until the day I laugh and cringe reading this. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I value our friendship and I don't want to burden you... I'm so sorry for having crush on you.. but remember, someone saw something special in you, and that's a beautiful thing. Even if you're not ready for it now, their feelings are a reflection of your worth. You did nothing wrong at all, Julian. Thank you for being you.

Until the time comes, Kilian.

October 3, 2023.