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kuroshitsuji-sama · 14 days ago

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Noooo omg don't do this when we are milestone away from them being like this in your story. Now I want more aisndnndndjdjensndnd

Hello! I love your amortentia one-shot. I was wondering what your take would be if Sebaciel got dosed with amortentia instead of Tomarry? I feel like Ciel is the one more likely to be dosed with it - and it would be even worse since amortentia wouldn't be a well-known thing in their world, so Sebastian would have no idea what the hell is going on with his master, haha. <3 Love your writing as always, and hoping for your safety. <3

Hi! Ever since you sent this idea, I couldn't stop thinking about it, so here's a short story with this premise :D

A note: this is a one-shot that isn't directly related to TGSTLTH. Ciel is 17, he and Sebastian are still tied by the contract, and their relationship has been growing more intimate over the years.

A warning: violence between Ciel and Sebastian, a fucked up dynamic, and unhealthy jealousy.

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Ciel sensed the second it happened. One moment, he was studying Sebastian’s report on their latest case, tracing the edges of the letters he’d written, more interested in deciphering the mood behind each shape than in the content itself. The next moment, his mind went blank, and all thoughts of Sebastian, his handwriting, and his moods vanished into nothingness.

His head stayed empty for a while, so he just stared at the report unseeingly, waiting for something to happen. For life to re-start. And when it did, the very first thing he thought of was Elisabeth.

Elisabeth was… so very beautiful. Had he noticed this before? He must have — who could miss her when she entered the room? With her golden curls, her green eyes, her loud voice, her irritating, maddening tendency to ignore the concept of personal space and—

Ciel’s mind went dark again. He had no idea how long it lasted this time, but at some point, he blinked, and then his thoughts were flowing.

Elisabeth. He was so lucky to be betrothed to her; he was especially lucky that she was patient enough to still be waiting for him. She was already eighteen — they were supposed to have married years ago. Why on earth was he still hesitating? He loved—

A violent protest lurched inside him. Ciel jerked, horrified, but the world vanished once again.

By the time he regained his consciousness, he was already walking down the stairs, determined to ride to the Midfords’ and ask Elisabeth to marry him right away. However, he barely managed to get to the hall when Sebastian stepped out from wherever he was lurking, giving him a long, attentive gaze.

“Was there something you needed, my lord?” he wondered lightly. Ciel stared at him, at the intense, heated look in his eyes. All of a sudden, he didn’t know what to say. The words died before being spoken, and the more he stayed silent, the more Sebastian began to frown.

“Is something wrong?” he asked. The teasing notes disappeared — he sounded concerned now, and this shift finally helped Ciel to come to his senses.

“Nothing is wrong,” he said, waving his hand in dismissal. “I’m going to see Elisabeth. She and I have to talk.”

Something hostile flickered across Sebastian’s face before it smoothed back into pleasant calmness.

For some reason, as the years went by, Sebastian’s attitude to Elisabeth got colder. Maybe it had something to do with the inevitability of the wedding — Ciel had almost run out of excuses to delay it, and he knew he would have to make a final decision soon. Aunt Francis was growing increasingly demanding, and Elisabeth was toeing the line between impatience and indecency.

Fortunately, now he could give them the answer they wanted. And if Sebastian was against it… Well. He was just a demon, in the end.

Maybe, just maybe, there was something more to them. All those nights they spent side by side in Ciel’s bed: Ciel sleeping, Sebastian staring at him, enveloping him in his protective presence and chasing away his nightmares with a touch. The almost-kisses in the rare moments when Ciel allowed his defences to lower, letting Sebastian close enough to breathe him in before inevitably pushing him away. Watching Sebastian tremble like he was experiencing the after-shocks of a fever, and feeling drunk on the obvious power he held over him.

But this… this didn’t mean anything. Not when he had Elisabeth to think about, to marry.

A part of him bulked — viciously, furiously, but before this outrage had a chance to explode, Ciel lost his connection with the outside world again.

When he resumed blinking, Sebastian was standing much closer. When had he gotten here?

“My lord?”

“Yes?”

Sebastian’s brows furrowed.

“I asked what you wished to discuss with Lady Elisabeth.”

“Oh.” Ciel hesitated, twisting the ring on his finger nervously. Then again, why was he nervous? Sebastian had no right to dictate what he planned to do with his fiancée. “I want to marry her. Elisabeth. So I’m going to tell her that her family can start organising the wedding.”

There. He said it.

Carefully, Ciel risked glancing at Sebastian, only to immediately regret it.

Sebastian appeared flabbergasted. Like he thought Ciel was telling a joke he didn’t understand yet. Which meant that…

“Excuse me?”

Yes, that. They would have to keep talking about it. Why couldn’t Sebastian just let him go?

“I’m going to marry Elisabeth,” Ciel snapped, his turmoil making his words come out even harsher than he intended. “I should have done it years ago instead of turning her into a laughing stock of high society. Everyone thinks that I don’t love her and that I’m looking for a reason to sever our engagement.”

Sebastian laughed, but it wasn’t a good kind of laugh. It was chilling, and Ciel shivered when goosebumps prickled across his back.

“Isn’t that the truth?” Sebastian asked. He was speaking lightly, but something was definitely brewing under this surface of calmness. Something ugly and twisted, something that would have normally left Ciel breathless. Right now, though, all he felt was anxiety.

He needed to get to Elisabeth. Now.

“No, it’s not the truth,” he growled, squaring his shoulders and glaring at Sebastian’s impeccable face. “I love Elisabeth and I do want to marry her. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met — I’ll be lucky if she hasn’t changed her mind yet!”

Sebastian took a deep, slow breath. Other than this, he seemed fine… except for his eyes. They kept getting redder, but before Ciel could make sure he wasn’t just seeing things, Sebastian turned his back on him.

The lights flickered.

This was strange and unexpected enough to render Ciel speechless.

“We are going to have to discuss it,” Sebastian said. His voice was subdued, and no matter how well-versed Ciel was in interpreting his intonations, right now, he couldn’t make sense of them at all. “Did Lady Elisabeth or someone from her family contact you with a complaint? Did something happen to make them push you into accepting their ultimatum?”

“What? No.”

“No,” Sebastian echoed. Ciel had no idea how one short word could sound so terrifying. He swallowed, his stomach flip-flopping with nerves.

“I… It is my initiative.”

“You want to marry her.”

“I do.”

Sebastian remained still. He looked human, but there was something distinctly unnatural about him at this moment. Ciel couldn’t put his finger on it, not yet, but it was unnerving — and maybe a little exhilarating. His heart continued to pound, and when Sebastian raised his hand and snapped his fingers, it went wild, stuck in a never-ending freefall.

The sounds of the doors closing and the locks turning filled the manor, and even with the strange battle taking place inside Ciel’s head, he instantly understood what was happening.

Sebastian was making sure Ciel would be unable to walk out of the house easily, yes, but he was also isolating them both from the other servants. Even if Ciel were to call for assistance, no one would come.

Not that Bard, Finnie, or Mey-Rin could do anything to protect him from Sebastian, but somehow, this elevated sense of helplessness lit a fire of excitement in Ciel’s gut. He shivered again, his lips parting as the rush of adrenaline hit his bloodstream, but then the hateful blankness overrode everything again, and when he opened his eyes, all he felt was anger.

He had to get to Elisabeth. He needed it. He craved it. How dare Sebastian hinder him?

“If you think the locked doors are going to stop me…” Ciel began, but Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. He continued to face away from him, but his voice was very clear when he said, “I welcome you to try and leave the manor. However, Lady Elisabeth will be dead before you even reach the stables.”

The oddest combination of emotions assaulted him. Ciel’s knees almost buckled under their force. He couldn’t tell what exactly he was feeling — excitement, fear, bliss, fury, they all mixed together, so he just sucked in some air, hoping to get his lungs to work again.

Sebastian. Sebastian. Sebastian. Sebastian—

No. Elisabeth!

“How dare you?” Ciel cried out. His heart jerked in confusion. “She is my fiancée, and you dare to threaten her?”

Finally, Sebastian turned, and Ciel almost gasped when he saw him. The body still belonged to a human, but the face was anything but. Ciel had seen Sebastian in various states of his demon form, but he’d never seen… this. This was the face of the deadly, moving darkness — a beast, a bird, and a human all thrown together, creating one flawless monster that promised nothing but destruction. Only the eyes were familiar — unnaturally red, and wide, and fascinating—

Blankness. Recharge.

“—thought about it.”

“What?” Ciel asked. Sebastian took another step towards him. Now, if Ciel wanted, he could easily touch him. Immerse his fingers in these layers of smoke, explore Sebastian’s face as it truly looked like, memorise—

Blankness. And then again.

“What?” Ciel repeated. Sebastian’s lips, or their semblance, curled in disgust.

“Don’t tell me you have never considered it,” he hissed. The strange, heated coldness of his breath brushed against Ciel’s lips. “Her determination to pursue you has long since stopped being entertaining. You hated it. One small accident, an unfortunate fall that would break her lovely neck — and you would have been free. You may try to deny it, but I know you thought about it. Imagined it. Perhaps even toyed with the idea of giving me the order, knowing that I would be only too glad to obey it.”

Ciel’s head was spinning. His breathing quickened, and when Sebastian’s claws wrapped around his waist possessively, jerking him close, he shut his eyes, letting out a quiet moan.

He didn’t know what was happening to him. He had to go to Elisabeth — the need was there, burning him the more he resisted it, but other feelings continued to persist. They were stronger. Darker. He felt drunk on them, on Sebastian’s closeness, but still, he managed to shake his head.

“I have to be with Elisabeth,” he murmured, and before Sebastian could react, he kicked him in the shin with all his might.

Ciel doubted a demon would find it painful, but Sebastian let go of him — probably out of surprise at this sudden resistance. Using his chance, Ciel hastened to get away, rushing up the stairs.

He didn’t get far. Sebastian caught up with him easily, and this time, there was not a single human trait in his form. For a moment, he cradled Ciel against his chest, the feathers rustling and parting greedily, as if they wanted to suck him in, get him to melt inside Sebastian’s body, become a part of him.

But then the grip changed, and Sebastian threw him down the stairs with the violence that he had only ever shown to their enemies. The force of the crash was overwhelming — several of Ciel’s bones snapped with a loud crack, and then all he knew was blinding, visceral pain.

He might have groaned, but he didn’t hear the sound of his voice. Everything was on fire; he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

He could sense the darkness shifting towards him, though. Scrutinising him. Circling him.

“The… the contract,” Ciel rasped. The impulse to find Elisabeth was driving him mad, but the pain rendered him completely immobile. Did he break his back? “You can’t… hurt me. The contract…”

Cold laughter drowned out his gasps. Sebastian crouched next to him, and his claws caressed Ciel’s neck almost lovingly.

“Are we still playing this game?” he asked. His detached amusement formed such a huge contrast to how he usually behaved when Ciel was hurt…

For some reason, this realisation made Ciel’s eyes burn.

“What game,” he whispered hoarsely. His back was broken — he couldn’t shift even a little bit.

“The game where we pretend that the contract is real. That I still have any intention to consume your soul.”

Ciel blinked, trying to make sense of what he’d heard. Sebastian… wasn’t planning to take his soul? Since when?

He didn’t have a chance to ask this question. Sebastian grabbed him and pulled him onto his lap, and this time, Ciel screamed. Pain, pain, pain — it was everywhere, he couldn’t shake it off, couldn’t hide from it.

Some of it retreated when the curls of darkness separated from Sebastian’s true form and wrapped around Ciel’s broken body instead, as if keeping him safe. Taking this precious opportunity to draw in a deeper breath, Ciel watched as Sebastian flicked his wrist before biting it open with his fangs. Blood, violently red, like his eyes, began to flow in a small river.

“I don’t care what kind of madness possessed you today,” Sebastian said. “I don’t care if your goal was to provoke me or you truly thought that I’d let you leave. Whatever your plan was, I am not playing along. You are not walking away and you most certainly aren’t marrying anyone.”

“Hard to marry someone with a broken back,” Ciel muttered. He supposed he was in shock — nothing seemed real right now. Nothing made sense when he tried to think about it. Elisabeth… did he really want to marry Elisabeth? And did Sebastian decide to kill him over it?

It took him a moment to realise that Sebastian was silent. When Ciel squinted, trying to get a better look at his face, he almost jolted, recognising the last feelings he expected to see.

Hesitation. And guilt.

“I will fix that,” Sebastian said eventually. He sounded… upset. Anxious, almost. “I… you shouldn’t have done that. You never know when to stop pushing. You thrive on provoking me, so sooner or later, we would have still ended up here, on this very floor.”

Maybe Ciel was dying because the more Sebastian spoke, the less he understood him.

He wanted to ask. To clarify. To make sure he was still awake. But Sebastian shook his head abruptly, and Ciel stayed quiet.

“It doesn’t matter. Your days as a human are over. You have never been one of them, not truly, and I do not intend to share you with them a second longer.”

Sebastian pushed his bleeding wrist right into his mouth, and Ciel choked when a surge of blood rushed into his throat.

He tried to swallow it, but it quickly proved to be impossible — there was too much of it, and it flowed abnormally fast. He couldn’t take a single breath. The blood was everywhere — in his nose, in his mouth, deep inside him, doing something, spreading the power he’d never tasted before.

Coughing and choking, Ciel jerked in Sebastian’s arms violently, but to no avail. Sebastian didn’t even budge: he kept pressing his wrist to Ciel’s lips unmovingly, forcing him to consume more and more.

Strangely, the more Ciel twisted and fought, the stronger he felt. The pain retreated completely; he could actually move now, and while breathing remained an impossibility, he didn’t feel like dying from the lack of oxygen any longer. It was like every part of his body was coming to life — to a new kind of it. A better one.

Finally, an eternity later, everything stopped — or so it seemed. Sebastian pulled away, but only to replace his wrist with his lips.

Ciel froze, too startled to fight or protest. In fact, he wasn’t certain he wanted to. Sebastian’s lips were so cold they burned, but when he collected the remaining blood with his tongue, pushing it deeper into Ciel’s mouth, it felt hot. Unbearably so.

Gradually, Ciel melted into the form of Sebastian’s body, allowing him to kiss the small sounds from him, completely lost in these new, unfamiliar sensations.

He didn’t want it to end. He wanted more. Needed more.

But at some point, Sebastian broke the kiss, and when Ciel looked up at him, he forgot that he ever wanted to breathe.

Sebastian was incandescent. Ciel thought he’d seen his true form before? He was a fool. There were so many details he missed, so many tiny features and aspects that made Sebastian even more fascinating. He was… He was so…

The veil of dizziness broke apart. Awareness came in its place.

Elisabeth?

The wedding?

Sebastian throwing him down the stairs and breaking his back? Feeding him his blood to turn him into…

Ciel sat up, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

“What the hell have you done to me?” he asked. Sebastian gazed at him, his pupils still blown wide.

“You are no longer mortal,” he replied, his voice measured. Careful, like he was expecting Ciel to blow up. “This was something I’ve been considering doing for years. I would have waited for a while longer, but you left me with no choice.”

This was… way too much to wrap his mind around. Most importantly, how did they end up here? What was that nonsense about marrying Elisabeth?

“Do you know what happened?” Ciel wondered. “With Elisabeth?”

Sebastian tensed. The wave of hostility that rolled off him was staggering in its intensity, and instinctively, Ciel opened his mouth to taste it, trying to identify every molecule and to absorb them all inside.

“You tell me.” Sebastian’s voice was icy. “Because I would like to know the answer to this question myself.”

Belatedly, Ciel realised that Sebastian was still holding him. Even though he felt fully recovered — better than ever, really — he didn’t move, relaxing into the gentle swaying of dark feathers.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “It was bizarre. It’s like someone was meddling with my mind, and every time I tried to clear it, my brain was reset.”

Sebastian stayed silent for a long time.

“But now it is clear?” he clarified, still tense.

“Yes,” Ciel licked his lips, observing how Sebastian’s attention immediately zeroed in on his mouth. “Rest assured, I do not intend to marry Elisabeth. Neither now nor in the future.”

At last, tension seeped out of Sebastian’s body. His features flickered, re-organising into a more human shape, and Ciel pressed his hand to his cheek, trying to stall him.

“Wait,” he whispered. “Let me look.”

Sebastian obeyed him immediately, so Ciel looked, and looked, and looked.

He had a lot of questions, but somehow, right now, none of them seemed important.

His lips were burning.

He wanted another kiss.

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