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The war keeps on going
Here we go…
Another retry on a class but this time things have gone my way. Grades improved and the thing is I knew the content. The problem is again it feels like how things are done. The old phrase “You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink”. I feel like you can give everyone all the same information it is how you take that information.
I have not given on finishing degree no no no this isn’t far from over. Like I have said before I will fight until there is nothing left in my body. Even if the nights are getting longer the weather is getting warmer. This war that I have placed myself through will not end. One of the things I love to tell people is the more you say I am not able to do it. This pushes me to prove you wrong. I am coming after this master’s degree like a Pitbull. A fighter, someone who isn’t going to give up.
I am far from done…
I can see the finish line….
Its only another 1000 meters away but my knees are burning and my feet don’t want to move. This race needs to be finished as you have noticed in my reflections I am fighting with every ounce of energy I have left to complete this degree. There is a space on my wall that is missing something. What that is a completed degree that I was told is unreachable by many. I took another step closer to finishing those last 1000 meters.
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Keep on rolling
Here we go again, another class down and another worry. The reason behind this is I feel like I have been doing the same assignment for four weeks over. I know that is something negative to say but when looking how everything was done. My level of work does not reflect the grades given. Personally, I feel this class was given way too early. I was expecting to be given this class near the end of the program not in the middle of the program. It makes me feel like I am not ready to move on with my program.
I feel like I was lead a stray when I got my first degree and was unprepared for the level of content. I did understand what given to me for content but felt the restrictions of the amount content made me feel like I couldn’t give all the information for the project. This is nothing against the instructor or the class just felt a little overwhelmed with the amount of work given.
Now, I took two steps forward now I have to take ten back. Retrying a class that I should not have failed which is starting to frustrate me even more. I work very hard on my assignments to be told you’re not good enough. I am attempting to improve myself with this degree. I know there are bumps in the road but I have never in my life had this many. It is starting to push me away for finishing. I know getting a master’s is a hard work but now it has become something I am loathing.
I know negative thinking leads to negative work but this quest has been an uphill battle. I feel like Sisyphus when trying to complete a class. As I said before negative thinking leads to negative behavior I will keep on fighting to the end. I have been a fighter my whole like and now it’s time for me finish the toughest year of my life. With each passing class I know this will be the end soon. Once that piece of paper is in my hands and my name is called this battle will never end. Unlike Sisyphus I am going to get this rock up the hill and rolling down the hill the other way.
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Another class
Well, another class down and another round of disappointment. Why do I feel this way about this month? This class felt like I was doing the same assignment over and over. The repeated nature of the course work just mentally wore me out. To make matters worse personally I found follow course work verbatim and still be harshly being graded. I understand there are standards but when course assignments are being harshly graded for the sake of following a grading curve that is not fair. All I got out of this course is the following you need to know your demographic and create objective goals.
I know within my quest of completing this program has become even more tough. Placing all this effort and feeling like it is going nowhere. I know that finishing my education is going to be tough but feeling like when you work for nothing due to all my assignments are treated like they are incorrect. I know this is a lot of frustrations coming out but after five classes and being forced to retake another class it just feels like nothing has been done right. I am going to keep on fighting since I have been told I would never finish this. The one thing you should never do is tell me I am going to fail. Challenge accepted and I am going to prove you all wrong!
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Roadblock?
“That is why you fail” Yoda
So, true this time after redoing this course I have noticed something my life was getting in the way. I had too much on my plate things that I could not control lead to me retrying another course. I see this course again was a personal battle for me but I have fought on.
Yoda, maybe right everyone needs to learn from your failures to grow as a person. After fighting through the failure, I can move forward on completing this hard journey. Now that is roadblock has been plowed through what is next…
Enjoy my time off I endured so much this year. From personal downfalls, amazing changes in my own life, and starting school this summer. Now taking into a new year this means new chances for myself to grow. I am going to keep on doing what I said I was going to do. Look for something in my degree. That means sending out my resume and be ready for the rejections. I know something that I don’t enjoy. This goes back to Yoda’s quote. I get so headstrong on something.
Now, I am going to use everything that I have learned on failing and keep this on my drive. My drive is to complete everything! I am not going to fail anymore because I didn’t take anything seriously but now it will be my time.
I cannot wait to hear my name called and look back at this moment and laugh. Laugh at something that was only a roadblock.
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