kyleb-roflovski

[kyleb-roflovski]

Nah dude, you’re chill, don’t worry. I’m just not used to it- sorry. But hurry up and come over, even Ike is asking about you (the nosey bastard) and he’s yapping about you not being over for the first time in years…which just isn’t true…

//Nonono! You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I just have a feeling that Kyle would absolutely have no idea how to respond to Stan flirting with him. Like, being completely flustered and not used to it when things start//

Guys, let’s play the fucking what if game. You ready? Ok, I’ll start; what if Stan wasn’t a dick? What if that asshole didn’t forget about coming over today just so he could spend time and “study” with Wendy- who isn’t valedictorian might I add, because that’s me! I’m valedictorian, so if he needed to study- REALLY needed to study, he could’ve came over like we planed, but NOOO, he had to go and suck faces with his stupid fucking girlfriend. God. I hate sometimes. Whatever, thank fuck for this app, cause I need some place to scream about this, and if I go to Kenny or god forbid Cartman about this they’d call me gay- which I am but they don’t need to know tha

[kyleb-roflovski]

Shit- are you gonna be flirty like this now? Cause dude,I don’t know how I feel about that, but sure, you can come over. Just do me a favor and don’t make me turn as red as my hair in front of my parents, cause that’d really suck- oh yeah and if we tell them we’re dating- or that I’m gay, that means no more sleep overs, so keep your mouth shut about that, got it? See you soon Stan 💚

Guys, let’s play the fucking what if game. You ready? Ok, I’ll start; what if Stan wasn’t a dick? What if that asshole didn’t forget about coming over today just so he could spend time and “study” with Wendy- who isn’t valedictorian might I add, because that’s me! I’m valedictorian, so if he needed to study- REALLY needed to study, he could’ve came over like we planed, but NOOO, he had to go and suck faces with his stupid fucking girlfriend. God. I hate sometimes. Whatever, thank fuck for this app, cause I need some place to scream about this, and if I go to Kenny or god forbid Cartman about this they’d call me gay- which I am but they don’t need to know tha

[kyleb-roflovski]

Ok dude, we’re coming back to that Cartman thing later, cause you should know my hate for him is unmatched…but yeah. Of course I wanna go out with you!

Guys, let’s play the fucking what if game. You ready? Ok, I’ll start; what if Stan wasn’t a dick? What if that asshole didn’t forget about coming over today just so he could spend time and “study” with Wendy- who isn’t valedictorian might I add, because that’s me! I’m valedictorian, so if he needed to study- REALLY needed to study, he could’ve came over like we planed, but NOOO, he had to go and suck faces with his stupid fucking girlfriend. God. I hate sometimes. Whatever, thank fuck for this app, cause I need some place to scream about this, and if I go to Kenny or god forbid Cartman about this they’d call me gay- which I am but they don’t need to know tha

[kyleb-roflovski]

I thought you liked Cartman? It’s obvious I hate his fat ass…maybe it’s cause of Kenny? That’s not the point though- when we kissed you did taste like candy corn, and it was disgusting, but I complained and carried on because I didn’t know what else to say. It was like- flirting or whatever…I think. But I didn’t say anything else cause you had just been broken up with again, I didn’t wanna be a rebound, but that was my mistake. Dude, of course I liked the kiss, I did it over and over after that

Guys, let’s play the fucking what if game. You ready? Ok, I’ll start; what if Stan wasn’t a dick? What if that asshole didn’t forget about coming over today just so he could spend time and “study” with Wendy- who isn’t valedictorian might I add, because that’s me! I’m valedictorian, so if he needed to study- REALLY needed to study, he could’ve came over like we planed, but NOOO, he had to go and suck faces with his stupid fucking girlfriend. God. I hate sometimes. Whatever, thank fuck for this app, cause I need some place to scream about this, and if I go to Kenny or god forbid Cartman about this they’d call me gay- which I am but they don’t need to know tha

[kyleb-roflovski]

Dude- my mom has my phone, you KNOW this. I’m typing this on my computer right now. I got my phone taken when she caught me punching Cartman two days ago. Remember, we were watching the x-men alternate time-line movies and Cartman kept making comments about Magneto’s past and agreeing with the nazis so I beat the shit out of him, but my mom didn’t listen when I tried to explain that? How could I get back to you without my phone. That was the whole point of asking you over for a game night…

Also, why the hell wouldn’t I wanna be your boyfriend? I’ve put up with your shit since we were three, do you think I care about how much of a mess you are? I’m just as bad, just in other ways. I’m literally by your side everyday, dating you wouldn’t even change the amount of time we spend together

Guys, let’s play the fucking what if game. You ready? Ok, I’ll start; what if Stan wasn’t a dick? What if that asshole didn’t forget about coming over today just so he could spend time and “study” with Wendy- who isn’t valedictorian might I add, because that’s me! I’m valedictorian, so if he needed to study- REALLY needed to study, he could’ve came over like we planed, but NOOO, he had to go and suck faces with his stupid fucking girlfriend. God. I hate sometimes. Whatever, thank fuck for this app, cause I need some place to scream about this, and if I go to Kenny or god forbid Cartman about this they’d call me gay- which I am but they don’t need to know tha

[kyleb-roflovski]

Since when the fuck do you gossip with an ex!? What the fuck man!? Second off, you’re pathetic, you went over there and ditched me for her! You made plans with me, not her! It’s a douchey thing to do, and I was waiting all fucking day! I was fucking stood up so you can suck faces with your ex! Oh yeah- and broke up with you!?? I asked you not to tell people we were together- THATS NOT FUCKING BREAKING UP WITH YOU!! THATS SAYING IM NOT READY TO FACE THE BACKLASH OF SOME PEOPLE WHEN COMING OUT! I NEVER FUCKING SAID WE WERE DONE- I- I didn’t even know you took it that way, dude. If I broke up with you why would I ask you over? I didn’t even know we were officially together, man. We can’t break up if we were never dating from my knowledge

Guys, let’s play the fucking what if game. You ready? Ok, I’ll start; what if Stan wasn’t a dick? What if that asshole didn’t forget about coming over today just so he could spend time and “study” with Wendy- who isn’t valedictorian might I add, because that’s me! I’m valedictorian, so if he needed to study- REALLY needed to study, he could’ve came over like we planed, but NOOO, he had to go and suck faces with his stupid fucking girlfriend. God. I hate sometimes. Whatever, thank fuck for this app, cause I need some place to scream about this, and if I go to Kenny or god forbid Cartman about this they’d call me gay- which I am but they don’t need to know tha

[kyleb-roflovski]

Guys, let’s play the fucking what if game. You ready? Ok, I’ll start; what if Stan wasn’t a dick? What if that asshole didn’t forget about coming over today just so he could spend time and “study” with Wendy- who isn’t valedictorian might I add, because that’s me! I’m valedictorian, so if he needed to study- REALLY needed to study, he could’ve came over like we planed, but NOOO, he had to go and suck faces with his stupid fucking girlfriend. God. I hate sometimes. Whatever, thank fuck for this app, cause I need some place to scream about this, and if I go to Kenny or god forbid Cartman about this they’d call me gay- which I am but they don’t need to know tha

[kyleb-roflovski]

I drew you + your friends a couple of months ago! What do you think? :3

I think you need to make Cartman fatter…and uglier. I assume he’s repulsiveness is hard to capture in a drawing, but trust me, he’s fucking hard to look at on good days. Everything else looks great though

[kyleb-roflovski]

What fucking dumbass gets upset and instead of calling his best friend, or even his fucking girlfriend, fucking bleaches his hair? Stan fucking bleached his hair yesterday, comes over my house like it’s nothing and then gets pissy at me for laughing? Dudes, he looks SO BAD, it’s almost insane. Maybe he’d look better if it was like- toned or something, I don’t really know hair. But this is SO shitty. Whatever…maybe I can get someone to bully him to dying his hair back to black…

[kyleb-roflovski]

It’s in my firm opinion that New Years kisses are fucking stupid. I had three different girls ask me to be their new years kisses the night of??? Like, dude what the fuck! If I wanted to ask you I would’ve by then! Plus, now my fucking new year started with me seeing the one person I actually want to kiss, kiss his fucking girlfriend that already broke up with him again. What a great fucking start to the year! It’s bullshit case fucking closed

[kyleb-roflovski]

New year new me? No. New year even angrier me. Celebrated the new year by getting I trouble because I was fighting with someone during the ball drop. I won. It’s fucking bullshit. If someone insults me for being Jewish on Hanukkah. If anyone needs me I’ll be sneaking out of my hellhole of a house

[kyleb-roflovski]

Happy Hanukkah and merry Christmas to those who celebrate! Hope everyone has a great holiday! I’m so ready to kick my brothers ass at dreidel!

[kyleb-roflovski]

Kyle, dont ask THEY just did

Did what? Who did what? Oh, and I don’t know why but Kenny says to just leave it cause nobody will remember it anyway…whatever the fuck that means

[kyleb-roflovski]

Hypothetically…if an asshole, homophobic, disgusting, fugly, fatass found out someone was gay…how long would one have before they’re outed to the entire town…hypothetically of course

[kyleb-roflovski]

this is kyle broflovski

this is literally kyle broflovski

[kyleb-roflovski]

OMG THEY KILLED KENNY!?

THOSE BASTARDS!! Wait- who killed Kenny?

[kyleb-roflovski]

What if I fucking crashed out!? What the fuck!? Update on the whole detention cause of the fucking fatass thing, the school called my mom! What the fuck? Why the hell did they do that!? Not only did they fucking give me the stupidest detention in the whole world but now I’m in trouble at home too!? Fuck South Park, I can’t wait until I’m out of this shit hole