l3mon-cake-pops

[l3mon-cake-pops]

Your body is not a drug in the world; don’t be abused by anyone or yourself.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

The light within me burns once more but now I it’s keeper.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

From drugs or a rope; I’m not long for this world.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

You always had two sets of eyes. One set you used when you spoke to everyone; a sort of typical and social look that was glazed over the color of them. As if you were blending in to a scene that was scripted and you knew it was just so. Then, you had this other set of eyes. Not until recently did i realize that this one was actually different. Its not that i never wittnessed it. No you and I always seemed to always speakwith no hesitation in eye contact. This look was something you really could only describe in a fairy tale. The warm halo glowing around them, the vibrations in their color, the deepness of the pupils; as if having seen the world a thousand times in a thousand different ways over a thousand lifetimes. Always you looked at me with them and each time i felt as if blessed by their stare. You were an angel, walking in a human’s flesh; not able to fly, but nearly drowned with me. I was brought to you by fate and i wished only for you the world; but i signed such fate with a left hand. You were the light and i the dark; i was your world yet i had sold you away for what i already had with you-peace.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

A strong limb and a long rope.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

[l3mon-cake-pops]

“I know that there aren’t a lot of good things around and I know that you are really good.”

—

[l3mon-cake-pops]

“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”

— Unknown  (via bl-ossomed)

[l3mon-cake-pops]

I may hate you but at least you weren’t boring.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

Not done bleeding to death yet. Still so much yet to do.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

Happy Anniversary

[l3mon-cake-pops]

Jewel of my dreams

I hope you had a good day and that you are happy. Thinking of you being happy fuels my inspiration to call the next new day my own and awaken from the last with a smile. I hope you find happiness again and that life feels as if a blessing to you as i know it can be for you. Your dreams cannot hurt you as i thought they did to me when you never left them. You've become the jewel of my dreams and i hope somehow the happy memories still resonate within you during your calmest slumbers as they do for me.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

I hate waking up with you on my mind and not in my bed.

(via difficult)

[l3mon-cake-pops]

Its time.

The days of being young and at the mercy of endless curiosity is to now come to a close. The warm glow of finding something new is no longer found in the discovery. Now i must create from what I know. I know not of many things. I envy those who know more. Unlike most, what I create will be the honest reflection of who i wish to become and rise above who i was. The child within who loved the world though hated by it has moved past his time. Lost to the memories but never forgotten and certainly no longer in control. He is happy now to have loved a world though hated by it, was indeed a love unbroken and not lost to the memories. If You are reading this; good luck and thank you for being the first to reignite my fire and the last love of a troubled childhood. I hope you do great things just as you had hoped for me to be great as well.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

3 months later

I still type out my usually morning greeting from time to time. Usually Mondays and Thursdays is when it happens. The first thing i do when i wake up is pull up your name and type out "Good morning babygirl. I hope you have a great day. I love you so much." Then my drowsiness goes away and I remember that i cant say hose things anymore before i ever hit send. Im still doing this. Why? Why do i still need to bleed, 3 months later.

[l3mon-cake-pops]

The dream

I wonder if you still look at this from time to time whenever you're feeling curious. Deep down I still have hope in that you do. Not to see how I am still depressed, or how I miss you, or even how I may hate you. Truth is for the past 3 or so weeks I keep having this dream. Its of the time I was home for my birthday weekend. We were spending our last night together and we were in bed. I was pretending to sleep and you were petting my face. I turned to you and told you that i was pretending to sleep because i wanted to catch you being cute. The dream ends in you laughing in embarrassment and I wake up smiling. Then seconds later i realize you aren't next to me anymore and that you hate me. The point here is that there is no point. Im just a man, in a dark room, finding a way to handle how I had lost the best person to have come into my life. I havent stopped bleeding since you left because I use to make you really happy, like jump into my arms happy, and for you to go because i wasnt doing that just hurt. Im not hurt because of how it ended, i am hurt because I pushed you away. Hearing your voice would be so great right now because its all going to happen again in an hour.

[l3mon-cake-pops]