la-lauren - Tumblr blog

[la-lauren]

i think what’s on a person’s nightstand is very telling so reblog this and put in the tags the things you have on your nightstand

[la-lauren]

Our dog is having tummy troubles still, to the point we are taking her to the vet again today. Well, we were trying.

We came out to our car towed, even though (we thought) it was in our spot. They’re saying we were parked two spots over.

That’s hundreds of dollars on top of the vet. I dropped my matcha on our walk. It’s just been a day already and I want off this ride.

If I did park it two spots over, whyyyyy did I do that???? Why????

[la-lauren]

we need to talk about this line in particular tbh

[la-lauren]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[la-lauren]

Also had a dream last night that worldwide communication was going to be shut off, and we were lowkey being encouraged to find other ways to communicate before it happened.

Luckily that one felt more dream-like than premonition-like, but still. Made me uneasy.

[la-lauren]

The meshing of lives with partners is something I've not had to think too much about in my relationships. With Josh, we were all already friends and knew each other. With Ilkka, he basically only had his mom and best friend in Finland, and I never met either. There would have been a language barrier anyway.

Dani has a full life, tons of people, tons of family. But with that comes relationship dynamics I'm not accustomed to. Rightfully so, a lot of her friends want her to be cautious about me. Who moves to California after two months with no money or job unless you're planning to be a bum? (me... the answer is me.) So anyway, hesitancy there already.

I'm a true introvert and the majority of her friends are absolutely NOT. They are party goers through and through. Either that and/or hella entrenched in the queer community to the point that I feel uncomfortable because I'm constantly on guard for pronoun slip-ups or saying something not exactly PC... not because I'm trying to be a dick, but just because I'm not used to these spaces. I'm honestly still fresh out the homophobic south myself, and I do feel like these slip-ups aren't seen as educational moments but more so as judgments, like I somehow want to be offensive when I don't. Very stressful tbh.

Dani's birthday is coming up, and we sent out invitations. So far, two of her best friends are saying they can't come. It's especially sad for her because out of anyone, they know that she does this birthday brunch every year the weekend of her birthday, so it's something they have grown to expect. To deliberately choose to be out of town that weekend feels like a slight, and while it probably isn't, I know that doesn't help her feel any better about it.

Her mom won't be in town for her actual birthday, and that's making her sad too.

I'm in charge of planning that day for us now, and I want it to be fun, but I know she's thinking about the people who aren't going to show up otherwise.

I guess I expect so little from others that I'm just so thrilled when they make the bare minimum effort. She's used to having people show up for her consistently, and I can see how these things feel like letdowns for her. I just don't know how to help it.

[la-lauren]

girlhood

[la-lauren]

Never before have I identified with a tv character so much.

[la-lauren]

We had a fun night out, but I had 3 drinks, and although I didn’t get sick or sloppy drunk off that, I am now awake at 7am with fun times from both ends. I haven’t thrown up like this in years. I’m miserable.

We decided we think it’s how my body is processing alcohol with my meds since I normally would not be so ill from three drinks.

Anyway, today’s plans are canceled.

[la-lauren]

some trends i am really down for

being nice to people working in customer service

girls in thigh-highs

receiving $400,000

pasta

[la-lauren]

Sorry, I can't believe I have a job. I can't believe I was close to eviction in Chicago, ready to jump on train tracks because I saw no way out. I can't believe I then met a woman I instantly clicked with who flew out to see me after less than a week of knowing me. I can't believe we ended up sleeping together by night 3. I can't believe that solidified everything for both of us. I can't believe we were official after that very first trip. I can't believe I moved in with her two months later across the country. I can't believe how supportive she's been through all my health issues and the mental blocks with school. I can't believe I will have my degree in a week. I can't believe I got this job in the exact way and timing that I did. I can't believe it's so flexible. I can't believe it comes with a pension. I can't believe it's walking distance from our apartment. I can't believe my life has turned around so much in less than a year.

I am so thankful to every bit of energy in this universe and beyond that has made all of this possible.

And I can't wait to marry her.

[la-lauren]

He called. I have the job.

It pays more than I've ever made (still not great by any means in terms of California cost of living), and it makes us a six figure household.

I am in shock by how this all played out. How I didn't get the job in December, I changed my entire major at school, and right as I'm graduating, they reach back out to give me the job. The universe has been working overtime in my favor this past year. Overtime, I tell you.

[la-lauren]

Doubled over in pain from these cramps and the hiring manager just emailed me for my phone number.

Hoping/praying that's a good sign. Dani says it is because they always call to make the offer.

[la-lauren]

[la-lauren]

sparkle kitty

[la-lauren]

I had my period last week Tuesday-Friday. Now I'm bleeding again a week later. I had awful cramps last week, and the cramps are bad again now. I haven't had this issue since my iron was really low. At my recent checkup though, my iron isn't low, so I don't know why it's happening now. Except maybe stress? But honestly, as far as stress goes, I'm like the least stressed ever because I'm not worrying about how to pay rent or buy groceries or see doctors and get meds. Yes, I'm concerned about finishing school and finding a job, but I know I'll find SOMETHING and, again, it's not urgent. We're fine financially. Anyway, I'm miserable and want to be in bed instead of writing my capstone papers.

[la-lauren]

That interview was interesting.

I greeted the hiring manager with a smile but also a, "Gotta say, I didn't expect to see you again." He laughed and said likewise.

Then he explained that they like to hire internally and they'd chosen the temp employee who was already working the position back in December. However, she got a job elsewhere in the organization that was a promotion for her, so they were looking to hire for the role again. He said they "obviously" liked me (this was NOT obvious to me!!!) and wanted to call me back to interview again this second time. The rest of the interview went well. He asked about things I didn't know last time, if I'd learned more about those things. I was able to say I had, that I'd completed some LinkedIn Learning courses specifically on those things. He seemed happy with my answers and even asked for recommendations for the whole team because he wants to utilize LinkedIn Learning for the team since it's free for the employees. Overall, very laid back and honestly a fun interview. Those are truly few and far between.

Because Dani works there, I know that the cutoff for resume submissions is today, which means even if they do want to give me the job, I'm not going to hear back until next week at the earliest because that deadline has to pass. So I'm just focusing on my capstone papers and feeling confident because there was not a single question I felt I fumbled this second time around, so even if they go with someone else, I know I did what I could.

But Dani and I are crossing all our fingers and toes because we both want this for me so badly.