ladybelowdeck

[ladybelowdeck]

kingofdirtandnothing‌:

“Lesbians having to fake it just seems wrong.”

You may as well have told him that there was no Santa Clause, Scotty. The wind has been taken out of his sails. “I just don’t…how do…” He downs the rest of his beer with a sigh and gestures to the waitress to bring them another round, giving her a wink. 

“That’d be like me not knowing how to give a blowjob. If you’ve gotten one, you should be able to do it.”

“Nae lesbians.” Which sort of isn’t the point. “I went tae ‘er wedding a few years ago. Her husband’s... pleasant. Nae very interestin’.” ‘Pleasant and not very interesting’ is how she’d describe the whole ceremony, really. Long and boring and exactly the sort of thing Morcades hated sitting still for.

“Anyway, that’s nae a fair comparison. Blowjobs are much more straight-forward. Na offense, but th’ anatomy ain’t exactly complicated.” She passes the waitress a much more apologetic look, briefly considering kicking Dean under the table. The woman doesn’t look put upon in the slightest, though whether that’s professionalism or Dean’s charm working is up for debate. 

Probably the charm, but Morcades isn’t going to say that.

“Ye better tip her fer puttin’ up with ye, by the way. Incorrigible.”

[ladybelowdeck]

Jessica Chastain Takes an X-Men BuzzFeed Quiz to See if She Gets Wolverine

[ladybelowdeck]

When you get Wolverine on a Which Member of X-Men Are You? quiz

[ladybelowdeck]

😊

[ladybelowdeck]

@kingofdirtandnothing from x

“She did,” Scotty confirms, sipping her beer with a faint grin.

“Worst sex-ed conversation of m’ life. An’ if ye’ve ever dealt with--” even at her age it’s hard to put her odd sexual interests-- or lack thereof-- into words. Morcades grimaces, “Anyway, it sorta turned it from acceptable tae me fakin’ it.”

Which is hilarious now. Less so at the time.

[ladybelowdeck]

@kingofdirtandnothing from x

Morcades doesn’t really appreciate intrusions on her space. She doesn’t really like being kissed, either, generally. All that’s gotten worse over the years and being trapped groundside and doing lectures isn’t helping.

The only reason she doesn’t punch the kid in the face is because... he’s a kid and she had enough warning to see that. She still sort of wants to punch him on the nose and her arms come halfway up to protest all this... people-y-ness but she’s trying to get better about her violent reactions to other human beings.

When he pulls back it’s with the proper amount of regret and mortification for kissing and grabbing a stranger, and that soothes some of her ire.

“Congratulations,” Morcades tries, mild and with controlled irritation. He isn’t off the hook but she works with Jim Kirk and she’s attached at the hip to Tony Stark.

She’s familiar with poor impulse control and bursts of physical affection that aren’t always in line with standard boundaries. She just typically cares for the people who subject her to it.

“Mister--?”

[ladybelowdeck]

@kingofdirtandnothing from x

Tony Stark is a bad person and Scotty is divorcing him immediately.

“I hae ‘n eidetic memory an’ it’s never gonnae go away now-” she whines, but she’s already seen it and, yes, okay, it is theoretically interesting to learn what gamma radiation does to genitals.

She just... well she wasn’t that desperate to find out, really.

Morcades leans forward and huffs at her best friend in disgust, scowling at the picture but still looking. Scientific duty and all.

“Please tell me ye didnae fuck ‘im fer this.” Because if Tony dies from too much dick she’s putting it on his fucking grave and yelling at him so loud he’ll hear her all the way up at the pearly goddamn gates.

She’s not telling him dicks will go on his grave. He’d think it was a reward.

[ladybelowdeck]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ THINGS SAID BETWEEN ME & MY PARTNER / PART THREE. always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

‘oh my god, you and your peeing.’

‘why was that so aggressive?’

‘i thought something happened but you were actually just being a weirdo.’

‘why are they all gathered around? it’s like some kind of demonic cat ritual.’

‘that was such a sexy noise.’

‘i can’t push when i’m laughing!’

‘i have an IDEA.’

‘you little genius fucker, you.’

‘i am a little genius fucker, thank you for noticing.’

‘you don’t wanna join the little pow-wow over there?’

‘did you just injure yourself by sitting down?’

‘i didn’t injure myself in a stupid way!’

‘you made so many stupid noises that you had to judge yourself?’

‘[whispering in awe] it’s a lizard on a tiny motorbike…’

‘i’ll come kiss you… to DEATH.’

‘HE NEEDS A FRIEND.’

‘we’re terrible for each other.’

‘he knows them numbers. in a shady way.’

‘you’re the one who was tempting me to do crime the other day.’

‘don’t eat rubber bands they’ll coil around your intestines and kill you.’

‘i can always trust you to be up for some murder.’

‘can you just let me live sometime?’

‘it’s the only asshole i’ve ever touched.’

‘nothing ever goes well when it comes to me.’

‘that’s the point of us: we’re terrible.’

‘sometimes ya just gotta die.’

‘why is soulja boy always telling me things?’

‘i am dying. slowly. every day.’

‘i love you too but what the fuck was that.’

‘as you can see, i’m tired.’

‘she’s hiding beneath a pumpkin.’

‘i didn’t expect it to be so violent.’

‘attempts were made. feeble, feeble attempts.’

‘i didn’t think you meant pornos, but now you’ve said it…’

‘d’you know how hard it is to get comfortable on a sofa when you have a cat you have to put your legs around?’

‘i’ve returned, motherfucker.’

‘truth and helpfulness are not the same thing.’

‘i knew you were gonna say that but still: what the fuck.’

‘[sings] i’m so proud of youu! i’m so proud of you! im so PROUD of YOU!’

‘is someone loudly yelling boobs?’

‘we all know i don’t need any help making things fall over.’

‘you’re my primary skill.’

‘she’s just there. she exists only between my legs.’

‘but you’re mine. not hers. and that bitch needs to understand.’

‘out of context i sound like a jealous girlfriend. in context i’m just talking about my cat.’

‘don’t kill your friend. it’s rude.’

‘he doesn’t look very innocent to me.’

‘you never had a real childhood filled with childhood things.’

‘he thinks she’s such a wet blanket.’

‘we’ve said a lot of stupid shit today.’

‘you are cruel and unjust.’

[ladybelowdeck]

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞ - tony

game grumps meme / accepting

It’s incredibly unfair that Tony looks good in her leggings.

She owns so few pairs and has yet to feel comfortable wearing them and Tony bursts in, throws them on, and looks like he could walk down a catwalk.

Scotty’s very aware a lot of that has to be attitude, she’s never had his grace or natural ability to project comfort and ease, but she still chucks a pillow at him with a faux-outraged growling noise.

“Be nice tae those. The wee spacemen glow in the dark.”

[ladybelowdeck]

Jessica Chastain on Jamie & Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast

[ladybelowdeck]

do you have those people that you’d go anywhere with unconditionally, like they could say “lets go check out that dumpster” and you’d be like “im in”

[ladybelowdeck]

under the cut, you’ll find 100 plain rp icons of annalise basso in fed head as requested by @grcveycrdkids. screencap credit goes to this site. feel free to edit these icons but please do not claim as your own. these icons were created by diana. please like/reblog if you’re using and enjoy!

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[ladybelowdeck]

kingofdirtandnothing‌:

A menace.

“That’s all well and good, until the IRS comes knocking.” At least he’s on hold while they’re contemplating the life of a scum sucking tax man. He’d probably find more fees if he weren’t.

“I know a guy with a good lawyer ye can borrow,” she says, dismissively. It’s probably the only time Tony Stark has ever been described as ‘a guy’ in the same tone one used for the kid who brings you Dominos.

“Anyway, ‘e gave ye th' wrong numbers.” Scotty’s corrected the math because she’s bored while he’s on the phone and waves the napkin she’s scribbled on at him, “Ignore the bit tae the left-- it’s terminal velocity ‘n calculations fer controlled orbit entries on one-man flights, ye’ll have nightmares.” She’s going to have nightmares regarding the sudden deceleration problem.

[ladybelowdeck]

Pretending to be a strong and independent adult like 

[ladybelowdeck]

@allpurposebogeyman

Roderick Kasun does crimes.

It’s sort of his thing.

Morcades Scott mostly just wants to study physics and space and figure out a way to convince someone she should just live on the ISS with her five PhD.s forever.

Crimes are not her thing.

(she’s not exactly sure how their two paths crossed based on those descriptors, but imagines it’s one of those cosmic jokes that happen just to prove real life still has better plots than Friends or Days of Our Lives.)

The point was that Scotty winds up acquaintances with a criminal. She has coffee with him and recommends mechanic shops. She does not give him her address or phone number and he doesn’t ask. She’s friendly, in her gruff, abrasive way and elects to press neosporin and astronaut bandaids into his hands instead of calling the police.

He does not give her details about his crimes and she doesn’t ask.

The first time Roderick Kasun breaks into her apartment he pretends it’s an accident.

“I was doing crime, you know, around-- my mistake.”

Morcades is pretty sure he doesn’t run into coffee tables on his normal B&Es but isn’t quite sure how to call him on it. What does she know about breaking in, anyway? Maybe smashing a shin into a table is good luck for criminals, one never knows.

She blinks unhelpfully at him, paused in the middle of pouring hot water into her tea and gaping a bit like a fish.

“Oh! Tea! Have any crumpets?”

Scotty reconsiders her choice not to call the police-- his bad accent alone should justify jail time. She lectures him ferociously about the difference between English and Scottish, scowling and harrumphing at him even as she pulls out another cup for tea. He sits around politely for a lot longer than someone who meant to be somewhere else had any right to be.

She never figures out how to call him on it.

Morcades changes her locks.

It feels petty more than useful.

He breaks in again when she’s in the middle of a Netflix binge. She chucks popcorn at him, hissing “haud yer wheesht” furiously until he catches the meaning and shuts up.

Somewhere in the middle of Sabrina, Scotty sticks her feet under his thigh. An episode or two later, his head is on her stomach and she’s managed to sneak fifteen pieces of popcorn into his hair without him reacting.

They finish Sabrina the Teenage Witch and start on Voltron before he leaves this time.

He makes her promise not to finish without him and it’s only once he’s gone Scotty realizes she pretty much just agreed to this man breaking into her house intermittently to socialize.

Why doesn’t he just knock?????!!!!

Scotty doesn’t ask him for his number. She just starts getting texts from an unknown lamenting the lack of giant robot lions in the world.

She doesn’t save it, scowls at the full number every time it appears.

“You keep answering him, though,” observes her brother.

Morcades wishes she was an only child.

She has a migraine when he breaks in a third time, body curled up in a tight bow of pain to brace against the cacophony of noise that is all of existence right now (breathing, breathing is too loud). She keeps her eyes shut to stave off the nausea but it still sort of feels like her head is in a washing machine without the rest of her.

He gets half a sentence out before Scotty groans and throws up on his shoes.

The migraine lasts two days. Roderick is an alarmingly consistent companion for the duration-- he finds some way to silently cross through her house and she’s so relieved she forgets to needle him for always announcing himself so loudly before.

Scotty falls (gratefully) asleep with her head in his lap more than once-- there’s a distinct memory of cautious fingers in her tangled hair.

She snaps “Stay” at him the second time he makes a move to go to the couch and if he makes a joke about getting in her bed, she doesn’t hear it.

Day three and she wakes up clear(ish) and with her nose tucked against Roderick’s spine.

He’s gone when she comes out of the shower but she didn’t really expect anything less.

Scotty saves his number in her phone.

           txt: kasun - dinna bother comin over w/o hot chocolate

it’s the first demand she’s ever imposed on the bizarre tradition they’ve established.

Morcades is cold and bitter about it, though, and if he’s going to mooch her Netflix, she’s going to exact her price.

(The hot cocoa has moon-shaped marshmallows Scotty is certain Starbucks didn’t put in it.)

Scotty changes her locks again.

She gives Roderick the spare key.

He breaks in several more times anyway and Morcades doesn’t even know why she tries.

“Ye need tae start buyin’ groceries,” she informs him, when he’s staying more often than not.

“How d’ye feel about kids?”

To his credit, he doesn’t immediately walk back out the door.

“...Well, if you think we’re ready to talk about that step-”

Scotty snorts to cut him off and turns her phone so her youngest nephew can squint curiously at his aunt’s companion.

“Peter this is Mister Kasun, Kasun, Peter.” Her oldest sister’s son, though she doesn’t expect that Rod remembers. “Say hullo, Pete.”

“Hello Mister Kasey!” Peter tries obediently.

Scotty grins.

Neither of them ever remembers to buy groceries, but Scotty does change his toothbrush when it starts getting gross.

Scotty gets two stockings at Christmas. One is her usual, a plain thing with accurate constellations drawn in in silver. The other has ‘KASEY’ in bright orange glitter glue on the top in Peter’s determined handwriting. The effect is both offensively out of place and oddly charming against the reds and whites of the season.

Clara doesn’t like how her son’s developed a sudden adoration of Scotty’s mysterious friend, but Clara doesn’t like anything. No one really pays attention to it.

(Scotty does pull Rod aside to inform him, in no uncertain terms, that he was to be on his best behavior in front of Peter to keep from giving the boy inaccurate ideas about cool criminals.

“Mind, if ‘e goes supervillian on ‘is own, ye better be his top henchmen,” she adds, “I wilnae have some cut-rate crook lookin’ after him.”)

In a more mystifying form of acceptance, her father, Ewan, sends Roderick several pages about the origin of his name, with special attention to its less anglicized versions and another page on Clann Ruaidri even though that’s a last name and Scotty’s fairly certain Roderick himself isn’t Scottish. He seems to think it’s funny Roderick’s hair is dark when, after all, his name means ‘red haired ruler’.

“Oh aye,” Scotty mutters darkly at Roderick’s shoulder, “'S alright tae name me after some poor tart that got stabbed by ‘er son, but mismatching hair color, that’s criminal.”

Scotty does, in fact, press an unthinking kiss to the corner of his mouth when he waves mistletoe at her and the look of surprise on his face nearly breaks her heart.

“Idiot,” she says, fierce with affection, and she thinks he knows what she means by it.

[ladybelowdeck]

PRE - ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME .

send a ♡ and i’ll fill this out for our muses !  i’ll bold what i want for their relationship, italic what i could see and strike out what i don’t .

FRIENDS.   childhood friends  /  work friends  /  family friends  /  recently friends  /  turning antagonistic  /  turning into something romantic  /  stable  /  falling apart  /  friendship of need  /  friendship of circumstance  pen - pals or internet friends  /  coworkers  /  partners  /  other .

ROMANCE.   childhood sweethearts  /  newly entered  /  soulmates  /  skinny love  /  unrequited from my muses side  /  unrequited from your muses side  /  friends with benefits  /  awkward  /  fading  /  turning  toxic  /  toxic  and  destructive  /  other .

FAMILIAL BOND.   sibling bond  /  older sibling figure to your muse  /  younger sibling figure to your muse  /  parental figure to your muse  /  parental figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal  guardian  /  other .

ENEMIES.   dangerous to themselves  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  passionate  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into a sexual tension  /  developing into a romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based of misunderstandings or lies  /  other .

[ladybelowdeck]

 @kingofdirtandnothing​ @bloodsings i can’t tag yoU