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[ladyclementine]

Surviving Winter in a Van

Well...My partner, David, and I have been ‘living the van life’ for the past 5 months. Funny that I finally get the motivation to write about it in the dead of winter, one of the most miserable van-life experiences you can have. So it goes...

It seems a dreamy existence - get up and go whenever and wherever you like, have all of your possessions on hand everywhere you go...Basecamp is home. But it’s not all butterflies and daydreams. We both still work full time jobs and have to spend our ‘vagabond days’ close to home, which is currently in Colorado. Unfortunately, neither of us are snow birds. We very much appreciate warm weather, and our hobbies correlate with that. While we are lucky to have such a beautiful place to call home, the winter cold can be brutal, wherever you are, and we cannot yet pack off to Mexico anytime the temps dip below freezing. So I thought it couldn’t hurt to write my first post about how we are surviving winter in the van. Maybe it will help others in similar situations, or maybe it will remind me to never do this (for an extended period of time) again. 

1. Layers. When it gets below zero we are certainly not flouncing around in our skiveys. We go to bed with our comforter, quilt, both sleeping bags, flannel pajama pants or under armour, hats, jackets, sweaters, and most recently, the AMAZING PATAGONIA CAPILENE ONESIE! I’m in love. In fact, I’m thinking of also installing a zipper in the front crotch so I can still use my pee funnel. Be prepared to slip into some cold sheets, get nice and toasty overnight, and have your heater at the ready to prep you for the morning opening of the cocoon. 

                                           Chilly Mornings

2. Be prepared, but Insulation can only do so much. If you know you will be spending some serious time in the cold while pursuing the van-life, take time and money to insulate right. However, a van is only so big and you can only insulate so much. It’s going to be cold regardless, so be ready to deal. Things to note - Windows are going to leak cold all over the damn place. Insulate them well, but you can also take the insulation out during the day when the sun can shine in and warm up your space. I read another blog where they stuffed pillows in their window spaces at night to block the cold. I wish we had put more insulation in our floor, since a lot of cold comes in from under the van and if I’m not wearing my big wool socks and oscar the grouch slippers at all time, my cold feet bring the chill in to the bone. Pieces of carpet would be good, but would get way too dirty and soak up moisture. Still pending on ideas here.

3. Get a heating element. We have solar, but electric heaters take up so much energy they are practically useless in the van. We are borrowing a Mr. Buddy heater that runs on propane. We pretty much only use it before bed and when getting up in the morning. It heats up the place pretty fast, but the heat doesn’t stick around for long. We have a carbon monoxide detector in the van for safety, and we do not run it while sleeping, even in the negative degree weather.

4. Ventilate. Be aware of moisture build-up. Though it seems counter-intuitive, given how damned cold it is in that metal box of yours, we recommend cracking your front windows at night. We noticed that we were steaming it up in there pretty heavily, and there was a lot of condensation forming on the inside of the van, which then turns into ice or mold, neither of which are ideal. No one wants to scrape ice off the inside AND the outside of their car windshield! Cracking the windows allows the air to circulate a bit, and while it doesn’t fully take care of the problem, it does reduce it quite a bit.

5. Memory foam is awesome - but it doesn't like the cold. I love memory foam, and it was very convenient to be able to cut our bed to size with a memory foam mattress, but when it is freezing out your bedding is also frozen. Get used to a rock hard pillow. You'll start to sink in once your precious body heat softens it up.

6. In fact, everything freezes. Seriously. All of our water is frozen, so no dishes can be done, which means eating out a lot more, drinking water must be used for brushing teeth, and anything else liquid is useless. Dish soap, medications, shampoo and conditioner...Laundry detergent? Make sure you have powdered on hand. Pee bottles? Go, then dump, or you’ll have a big block of piss-in-a-bottle taking up space until the spring thaw. 

                                                No Laundry Today :(

7. Drain your plumbing. We have had multiple problems with water leaks from our foot pump set-up. We use a marine foot pump with tubes connecting to our fresh water and gray water tanks. These are attached with hose clamps and worked just fine over the summer, but once the temperatures started fluctuating drastically things got a bit more complicated. We forgot to flush the system when we had below zero temps and a piece of the piping from the faucet split and now sprays water everywhere (working on currently). The attachment points at the pump itself also started leaking when the temperatures changed too much, despite our hose clamps that seem to be working everywhere else, leading to more water leakage and a fear of water/mold growth under our flooring. Eep. Needless to say - just do it manually for a couple months. 

8. Get used to less sexy-times. Just being real here. It’s freezing, you hardly want to lift your nose above the covers, much less remove all your warm snuggly clothes. So unless you have superior fort-building skillz and room for all those blankets...So if you are a couple in a van take every opportunity you can when you can. 

9. Budget to eat out more often. It’s a dangerous habit, and not something you want to get TOO used to, but you’re already saving on rent by living in a van, right? When you wake up and you can hardly bear to get out of bed, your eggs are frozen, water is frozen so you can’t do dishes...Well, you’ve got to eat something. Also, tea. Lots and lots and lots of warm, delicious tea. 

                                   Frozen Meatballs

10. Take advantage of the Holidays. Have friends in town? Family? Staying in one area long term? House sitting is the way to go. Offer your services taking care of a lonely home or pet(s) that need left behind. Fair exchange - They get free care and you get a hot shower, television, and heat. Beautiful. 

11. Laugh about the little things. What the hell are we doing? We hate cold! I love looking at and playing in snow...when I know I have a warm place to go and marshmallows topped with cocoa afterwards! But despite how miserable it can be, it is also awesome. We must be some tough buggers to stick around the Rocky Mountains in our not-so-well-insulated home. It’s a lifestyle choice, and it says something about much we want this life. We both get frustrated, but we make up for it by laughing at sharing curry right out of the pan to save on dishes, trying to figure out how to pee into a bottle (as a girl) in a onesie, and nuzzling very cold noses. We don’t have answers to everything, we are constantly learning and changing how we do things, and we certainly don’t have a fancy rig with all the perks, just like most other people out there doing the same thing. Just know that it won’t last forever, and it is making you a more resourceful and (crazy) awesome person.

[ladyclementine]

Clarksdale, MS

March 22nd, 2014

As they say, 'When in Rome..' or rather, Memphis...Derek had heard from a friend that the town Clarksdale was a great place to visit for some blues culture. It's only an hour and a half from Memphis, so why not? After our coffee at Cafe Eclectic we head out towards the south. We arrived late afternoon to a small town whose downtown was full of empty, dilapidated buildings with boarded windows. What seemed odd to both of us was that there were several people driving past in very expensive cars...also, there were many flyers for different music festivals in the town over the summer. It seemed odd to imagine such a ghost town coming back to life. Oh, it is beautiful there, though. We spent the last few hours of daylight wandering through abandoned lots and exploring the areas around the small river running through town. By nightfall, we were ready for some more music!

GROUND ZERO:  252 Delta Ave, Clarksdale

Ground Zero is a blues joint owned by Morgan Freeman. It is a large, dusty brick building, covered in posters and stickers and writing. It looks like every person who has ever set foot there had to draw something on the walls, both inside and outside, on the floor, furniture, ceiling, whatever with a sharpy marker. While that can make things interesting and is a wicked awesome concept, the truth of the matter is that not many people have something more interesting to state to future visitors than, 'Michelle Wuz here' or 'Bub <3's Patty 4evr'. There are old couches and chairs on the open porch outside, and inside there is a large room with a stage in the back, two pool tables up front, and a large seating area in between. They have shows nightly, and we happened to come on 'rock night', so we were slightly disappointed. But we had some fried green tomatoes, Derek had a burger, we listened to one song from the band (which was very good), and split.

Overall: The food was plain, but embellished with neat names, like 'Voodoo Burger' or 'Howl-nn Mad Burger'. The tomatoes were more breading than tomato, but the music seemed good, and it was definitely a good bar atmosphere with a decent assortment of beer. Would have been a 10$ cover if we had stayed.

REDS:   Corner of Sunflower and MLK Blvd

If you want to know what a real blues bar looks like, Red's is the down home honky. Just across the train tracks from Ground Zero, Red's is a small, inconspicuous building with shaded windows. We walked in, paid the 10$ cover and got the low-down on that night's entertainment. They were celebrating Leo Welch's 82nd birthday. They had free BBQ in the back (I am way too sad that I was so full already), free liquor, but beer would cost. They were even going to cut into a cake later in the night (if that shows you how small the place was). We stepped into the small room packed with chairs and stools and a few small tables, all full, with several people still kept standing. We slithered to the back and took up post in the only space left outside of the semi-circle around the band. The host who welcomed us, Leo's manager, as he called himself, was an hilarious story teller and his stories split up the music acts. We had come in at the end of one band and Leo himself was coming up. He was small, thin, his back was hunched, and his lower lip hung low, but for an 82 year old man, I tell you he could wail on that guitar. He wasn't very intelligible as he spoke, but he could sing. Still had his wits about him. He played for a while, followed by a guy named Watermelon Slim from Asheville, followed by some other guy, followed by Leo again, who was still going strong at 1AM. It was a hell of a jam, and I would hit up the ghost town again just for that place. 

[ladyclementine]

Memphis

March 21st to 22nd, 2014

You can't help but love that intense, heart-fluttering, bright-eyed feeling you get when...no, not falling for someone, but going on a spontaneous road trip! I believe it is one of the best feelings! I felt the first knocks of my heart on its cage as soon as my friend, Derek, mentioned some wicked blues music he had found down south. He has been living the life in New Orleans, LA for a few weeks, and is now spending a little time in Memphis with a friend. Due to my recent despondence (not included in this post), our long absence, and our mutual love for all things music and food related, he felt an inexplicable URGE to see me there and vehemently requested my presence. Due to the aforementioned despondence, I was unsure if I would go or not, but I went ahead and packed my bag before I went to work and figured I would decide on Friday whether to go or not. Despite my indecision, a slow leak of travel passion filled my heart to bursting and once my shift was over I immediately began the road trip.

Luckily, Memphis is one of the few places worth visiting in the Midwest that is within easy reach. I arrived around 11pm and met Derek at his temporary housing - a large, white house tucked back behind a long, narrow driveway near the University. It is actually considered a commune, according to one of the owners, and they are working on turning it into a hostel. But for now, it is a large home with multiple residents, and a few spare rooms for friends passing through. We embraced, I changed out of my work clothes, and we promptly made our way out on the town. Our first stop: the only gay club we could find.

CLUB SPECTRUM:  616 Marshall Ave, Memphis

Notice I said 'gay CLUB'. I did a find a few other gay BARS, but that is a completely different environment. We had a hard time finding the place. Not because it is particularly discreet, but the big sign on the building does NOT say 'Club Spectrum', it says 'Drink n' Drag'. There are three large stage rooms in the building. Only the center one was open for Friday night. There were about 30 to 40 people hanging out watching a drag show. It was a 5$ cover and about 1/2 and 1/2 gender-ally speaking. The MC was oddly not a drag queen, but a flamboyant 30-something y/o man with a handkerchief headband, an almost belly shirt with a vest, black jeans with sequin lining sewn in around every seam, and light up kicks. He performed a few songs, and was as terrible at dancing as his style was. He also referred to all of the queens as 'he's and hims', which is untactful. The few drag queens that performed were pretty good - one was fairly skilled on a strip pole, and they were all very intimate with the onlookers. There was even one drag king performing who had some bomb dance moves. Cute male bar tenders, decently priced drinks, but overall not somewhere I personally want to hit up next time I'm in town. 

 JOHNNY G'S CREOLE:   138 Beale St, Memphis

You can't see Memphis without at least walking down Beale St, and since Derek had not yet done that, we headed over to try and redeem the rest of our night. I wanted him to see my favorite restaurant on the strip, Johnny G's. It is naught but a narrow hole-in-the-wall with a window bar on the street, and even though we weren't yet hungry, we stopped in so we could use the restroom and got a nice half dozen oysters. The reason I like this place is that- 1. the people have always been nice (servers and fellow diners) 2. it is small and therefore more fun and intimate, and 3. I have not yet tasted any grit in their oysters. You have no idea how many places I have gotten oysters and how FEW of them have been any good. The other foods I have tried there are bomb, including the little crawfish poppers and the voodoo chicken. Beale Street may be cliche for a traveler, but this place is definitely worth the visit!

B.B. KINGS AND SILKY O'SULLIVAN'S, DYERS

Considering we were nearing the end of the evening's legal entertainment, the doorman at BB's let us in for free and we enjoyed some good live blues music and some dancing. When the band closed up shop we went down the road to Silky's. Silky's is a piano bar with a very large patio that apparently inhabits two billy-goats in a fenced region on the far side. Frigging adorable little boogers. Anyways, it has a distinct Vegas feeling due to the several life sized neon palm trees in the yard. Inside there are two pianos and the two guys playing were really fantastic musicians. It always amazes me how someone can just pick up on a song and go with it. They played everything from Afroman to Queen, and we closed them out. On the way back to the car we stopped by Dyers to get some chili cheese fries, which I will not comment on because I don't generally like chili cheese fries, and a fabulous chocolate malt milkshake. 

UNCLE LOU'S FRIED CHICKEN:   3633 Millbranch Rd, Memphis

We spent much of the morning lounging in the sun and talking to Derek's temporary room mates. By the time we got out to eat it was lunch time, and since our original breakfast choice was closed, I decided that I needed some southern fried chicken before I left the area. It was around 2pm that we hit up Lou's, and as soon as we stuck our heads in the door a large, African-American man named 'Juan' comes up and asks us where we're from while grabbing our hands for a hearty shake. Talking very quickly he runs from one question to the next - Have you ever been here? Do you like spicy food? Here's what I think, I think you should get...and we got exactly what he recommended. It was delicious. A 7-piece chicken meal, half dark meat, half white, half home-style, half spicy with three biscuits oozing with butter and honey, and two sides: corrupted carrots and corn nuggets. It was even better than it sounds. I DEVOURED my side of the plate. I ate as much as I could, and when I couldn't eat any more I started picking off every bit of meat I could get in order to pack it into a to-go box. The spicy chicken was in a light sauce and just had a bit of a kick. Fabulous, but the homestyle was my favorite. Overall: Delicious, friendly, laid back, and decently priced. Ask for Juan's recommendation.

CAFE ECLECTIC:   603 N McLean Blvd, Memphis

Before leaving town, we stopped by a coffee shop that Derek has claimed his 'habit'. He always finds a particular coffee shop to claim anywhere he has been more than 2 days. This one happens to be Cafe Eclectic, and I was pleasantly surprised by it, though I should be used to Derek's impeccable taste by now. As I was gaping at the coffee menu above the counter a barista named Nathan answered all of my questions and took my naivety of coffee culture in stride. I settled on a Mayan Cappuccino - one shot of espresso, steamed and frothed milk and chocolate, with a pinch of cayenne. I waited to leave until I took a sip in front of him and I think we were both satisfied to hear such a moan of pleasure.. ;)

[ladyclementine]

Sometimes when I listen to music I have these visions of the outfit I would wear and the way I would perform...Then I remember how I feel like vomiting every time I have something important to say to somebody, then how I would feel on a stage, and...le sigh.

[ladyclementine]

Happy VD!

[ladyclementine]

The many colors of me

[ladyclementine]

How to Listen

As a tumblr,  you may think that you are a great 'online' listener. You read peoples' thoughts every day. You read about their lives, you share your own, that makes you a good listener, right? What about in real life? When is the last time someone told you something important, or thoughtful, or interesting about themselves? Do you remember it? Even if you don't remember exactly what they said, do you remember the experience? Do they continue to share those experiences with you? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on if they feel like you were listening to them, if they feel like you care.  

Do you feel like people listen to you? So you talk a lot, but does anybody hear you? We live in a world that has forgotten how to listen. A world that is so full of subliminal messaging, ads, billboards, neon lights, and white noise. I believe that some people have come to treat everything as white noise. With cell phones and alternative communication devices we have transcribed our deeper thoughts into texts, emails, blogs, etc. We don't share with people one on one, because we don't feel like they truly listen or respond. You may not realize that you do the same thing.

It is important to know how to connect with a real person...In real life...Culturing real relationships. I'm not saying I listen well all the time.  These are just a few tips that I try to consciously follow. As the TedTalk below summarizes, the basic format of good listening is:

               Receive                Appreciate                Summarize                Ask

Live in the moment. Oftentimes, you get into a conversation and you start thinking about what you're going to say next or where you want the conversation to go. You tend to hold on to that, just waiting for your chance to break in and say it. You're focused on your own thought and cannot receive the message someone else is trying to convey. This separates you from the moment. Relax. Open your mind, because at that moment only the person in front of you matters. Once the person has completed a statement then pause. Take a moment to soak it in, and you will have that moment to say your piece.

Read body language and emotion. You don't have to take on their mood, but try to match their demeanor. If they are full of exhuberance then get excited with them. If they are sad and depressed, don't bring yourself down, but retain a sense of calm. This makes you more open and inviting for them to share with you. This also includes your body language. For example, crossing your arms makes you seem more closed off from another person. Hands on your lap or moving as you speak makes you more animated and open.

Make eye contact. It doesn't feel like someone is listening to you when they are staring off into space, reading something like a menu, or looking at their phone. You feel ignored. It feels like you're talking to empty space. There is no receiving end available. This does not mean that you need to start a staring contest. Don't freak someone out, just look interested. I heard once that if you are uncomfortable with true eye contact then make a bee-line from their forehead, eyes or tip of the nose, to chin, then back up. Even if you're not staring straight into their eyes, this gives them the illusion of it.  

Pay attention. When was the last time you had a good conversation with someone? You're in a great mood or maybe a bad one, and you are trying to hash everything out to your friend. They get a text message or a phone call, and they say 'Hold on just a minute' so they can answer the call or respond to the text immediately. Even saying 'hold on' is a courtesy. Many people will just interrupt you. As Dr. Phil would ask, how does that make you feel? If you are having a deep or serious conversation with somebody, if you are going out to lunch with somebody, turn your phone down to vibrate, turn it off, ignore it or look to see if it's important and say you'll get it later. Does everything really have to be immediate? Is it more important than this intimate moment with a friend? Let them know, make them feel like they are important to you.

Summarize what you've heard. Periodically summarize something that they've said, or the topic of their conversation. This is usually best done in the form of a question. This lets them know that you've heard what they said, that you're interested, and stimulates further conversation. For example, someone is talking about a new club they went to last night. You respond with, 'Oh, that sounds like a fun night out! Do you like to dance? That was cheesy, but you get the picture.

I have a few 'DON'Ts' to add to this list. DO NOT interrupt someone while they are talking unless it is something important. Especially do not interrupt with a counterargument. They haven't yet completed their thought. If you do interrupt, return to the conversation by saying, 'I'm sorry, you were saying/talking about _____. Please go on' DO NOT immediately shift the topic once they've stopped speaking. We often do this and the next tip below without realizing it. It makes the other person feel like you weren't listening, that you didn't understand, or that you just didn't care. It means you were probably thinking about something else while they were talking. DO NOT respond to someone's experience with a similar experience that you've had. Look at it from your friend's point of view - they share something deep or intimate and you respond with a story about yourself. You've shifted the conversation to you and away from the other person. You may have made the person feel like their experience was not important and was in no way unique. In some instances this may be appropriate (e.g. 'I went to that theme park and rode the Batman. It was awesome!' You might respond with 'Yeah, that is awesome! I love the Ninja!' OR 'Hey, you may not have gotten that interview this time, but I applied to 10 places before I got one.'). However, if they are talking about how their grandma just died, don't say 'well, my grandma died when I was 5'. Don't try to 'top' their experience with your own. That is not supportive! DO NOT turn the conversation into a psychology session. This person is sharing with you, whether it be a serious situation or a lighthearted conversation. It does not hurt to offer advice or try to help someone determine possible solutions to a problem, but judge the situation as it comes. Do not try to solve all of their issues or turn it into a brainstorming session unless they want to. Sometimes all someone wants to do is vent.

WOW! That is a lot more than I anticipated. Seems like a lot to remember, doesn't it? But it's really not! Some of these come naturally, and some you have to think about. Eventually it will become second nature, and you will be able to listen like a pro! It's important to realize that not everyone is trying to learn how to listen. Try not to get frustrated when they interrupt you, and remember that you used to do that as well. Hopefully over time they will notice your actions and learn through transference.

It's amazing the things you can learn and the connections you can make if you just...listen.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/cSohjlYQI2A

[ladyclementine]

“Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going to never was there, and where you are is no good unless you can get away from it. Where is there a place for you to be? No place. Nothing outside you can give you any place," he said. "You needn't look at the sky because it's not going to open up and show no place behind it. You needn't to search for any hole in the ground to look through into somewhere else. You can't go neither forwards nor backwards into your daddy's time nor your children's if you have them. In yourself right now is all the place you've got. If there was any Fall, look there, if there was any Redemption, look there, and if you expect any Judgment, look there, because they all three will have to be in your time and your body and where in your time and your body can they be?”

   —Flannery O'Connor

[ladyclementine]

Ayahuasca Visions

[ladyclementine]

An Eglogue

An Eglogue upon the Death of Sir Francis Walsingham Schoolchildren

CORYDON, TITYRUS. CORYDON. Nowe Tityrus, since wee at ease are lade, And both our flockes orespred the flowrie plaine: Sweete friend unfolde under this platen shade The secrete cause of thy concealed paine, How haps thy sighing threats the cleered skie, With gentle Zephyr waging often warres, Whose Muse of yoare with hunnie melodie, Did calme fierce winds, and cease their boistrous jarres? What means this moorning weed? thy weeping eine? thy pale aspect? thy murmuring complaints? Speake, that I may joine my teares with thine, and ease thy burdened heart before it faints. TITYRUS. Corydon forbeare by deepe inquire To rip the skarred wounds of my unrest: No teares, no counsell can abate the fire, Which loving sorrow kindles in my brest. I all alone in darkesom unkoth place, I all alone must like the Turtle Dove, Whose joy is slaine, bewaile my wretched case, And powre out plaints agenst the gods above, CORYDON. By sylvane nymphs, and lovely Graces three, That on our lawnes doe sport them to and fro; By countrie powres of what so ere degree; By Floraes chaplet; by Dianaes boe, By fruitfull Pales, Ceres wheaten crowne, By silver Thamesis old Oceans dame; By chang'd Amintas flow'r, that decks the downe; And lastlie by Elisaes vertuous name, By these, and those that guide caelestial spheares, I here conjure thee to discloase thy griefe, That I maie slake thy sighing with my teares, Whose comforts oft have bred my harts relief. TITYRUS. Then thus (though loath) as griefe will suffer me, My faltring tongue shall tell my discontent: That cares by sympathie maie worke on thee, And thou upholde some part of my lament. Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife Sweet Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. Now Corydon (for evrie shepheard swaine Reports thee skilfull in a sacred verse) In such a meeter helpe me to complaine, As maie befit great Meliboeus hearse. CORYDON. I now beginne: Apollo guide my sounde, And weepe yee sisters of the learned hill: That your Paegasean springs may leap their bound, And from their floate maie seas of teares distill. Let deadly sorrow with a sable wing, Throughout the world go brute this tragedie: And let Arcadians altogether sing A woefull song agenst heavns tirannie. Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife Sweet Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. Are wheeling orbs so full of foule despight, That neither wisdome, nor true pietie, Nor learned skill, nor speech of choice delight, Nor care of countries sweete securitie, Nor watchfull studie for Dianaes health, Nor gentle birth which vertues worth did raise, Nor honors titles, nor abundant wealth, Nor thousand gifts deserving endlesse praise Could smooth the mallice of old Saturnes brow, Or heate of Mars, or Lunaes deathfull colde: O envious heavns, that winde I wotte not how, Grudging the glories of this earthly molde. Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife: Sweete Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. Yet glorious heavns, O pardon my blaspheme, Whose witte in sorrowes Labyrinth is straide: All that I spake was but a furious dreame, It was not you, but Fates that him betraide. O thou eternall Monarcke, at whose becke The planets moove and make their influence: O give the Destinies a wrathfull checke, Afflict them for their spightfull insolence. In case mine oraison seeme overlarge, O yet vouchsafe me but this one request, That fatall lawes be givn to Saintes in charge, Whose hands and harts wil alwaies work the best. What can those Imps of everclowding mist, Those ruthlesse daughters of eternall night; But (tyrantlike) sunder their vitall twist, Whose shining vertues are the worldes chiefe light? Alas too soone by destins fatall knife, Sweet Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. And was not Astrophill in flowring prime, By cruell Fates cut off before his daie, Yong Astrophill, the mirrour of our time, Faire Hyales chiefe joy, till his decay? When late a dreadfull Lyon in his pride Descended downe the Pyraenaean mount, And roaring through the pastures farre and wide, Devowr'd whole Belgian heards of chief account: Stout Astrophill incenst with sole remorse, Resolv'd to die, or see the slaughter ceast: Then senst with fire and sword, with manly force He made assalt upon the furious beast. But of this tale teares drowne the latter part: I must returne to Meliboeus fall, Who mourning still for Astrophils depart, Forsooke his friends, and lost himselfe withall. Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife, Sweet Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. Nowe tell me shephards all, and fellow swaynes, Who shal with rampiers fence our country foile? And keep the fluds from breaking ore the plaines? And sheild our tender flocks from deadly spoile? Who shall recure their faintie maladies, And purge their fleeces in soft running streams? Who shall defend our lambs from jeoperdies? And shrowd our kids from Titans parching beames? Who now shal til our ground, and reape our corne? Who shall assuage the strife of swelling pride, When evrie swynard shall exceede his borne, And will not by God Terminus be tyde? Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife, Sweet Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. TITYRUS. Thy tunes have often pleas'd mine eare of yoare, When milk-white swans did flocke to heare thee sing, Where Seane in Paris makes a double shoare, Paris thrise blest if shee obey her King. But now O Corydon, that lightsome vaine Is changd from youth to aged gravitie, That whilst I heare thee bitterlie complaine, Ne thinks Apollo sings in Arcadie. And yet afford thy moorning Muse some reft, While I (though skil and voice are both decaide) With termes of duetie from a pensive brest Bewaile my friend, whom cruell Fates betraide. Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife Sweete Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. O all that all the Univers containes In heavn, or aire, or earth, or watrie deepe; With mutual plaints make light my secret pains, For sorrow wasts in teares, where manie weepe And first ye Figures in the Zodiacke line, That decke heavns girdle with aeternall light: O faine some griefs, and knit them unto mine, Such griefs as may this baser worlde affright. Now Cancer slake thy heate with brackish raine, And Leo roare, to make the skie dismaide: Aquarius powre thou downe salt teares amaine, And Aries let thy dancing now be staide. Now Libra make not aequinoctiall, But suffer night to overgrow the daie: Or darkenes fits all us that live in thrall, Let those have light that list to sport and plaie. Now let the Centaure with his poisned steele Upon the Fates inflict a deadlie wounde: That for misguiding late their fatall wheele They may lament with guosts of under-ground. Now let the winter under Capricorne Last still: and Pisces lend him watrie showres: Let Taurus wound the welkin with his home, And Scorpio with his taile sling fatall powres. Now Gemini forbeare with gladsome shine, To comfort Sea-men in their chiefe dispaire: Virgo make fountains of thy daie-bright eine, And teare the treasure of thy golden haire. Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife Sweete Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. Yee seavnfold flames, whose ever-circling fires Maintain this earth with influence from your sphears, And with your powre guide mortall mens desires, Now leave your harmonie, and fall to teares. Yet cankred Saturne it were all in vaine, With my intreats to call for thy lament, For if old Orpheus but a sooth have faine, To miseries thy minde is alwaies bent. Thou still art lumpish, waiward, cold, and sloe, Attended on with Terror, doating night, Pale discontent, sighs, discord, teares, and woe, Fit mates for me that want my chiefe delight. But thee faire Jupiter I must require, To change the gratious vertue of thy starre, And not to temper with thy gentle fire, The raging heates of him that breedeth warre. Let Mars roave uncontrold and kindle strife, That Sorrowes may sit downe by Slaughters side: And golden Sol surcease to favour life; And Venus weepe, as if Adonis dide. And Stilbon with thy hatt cloude Phoebus face, And Luna see thou steale no more his beames: But let thy Steedes forbeare their nightlie race, And from thy bosome powre downe weeping streames. Alas too soone by Destins fatal knife, Sweete Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. Now Aire, and what thy circuites doe containe, Helpe to lament great Meliboeus death: Let clouds of teares with sighs be turnd to raine, Admit no winde but evergroaning breath. Now set thy firie Pyramids to viewe, Thy divers Idols, Candles burning bright: Inflamed Shafts, Comets of dreadfull hewe; Sparkles that flie, and Starres that fall by night. Let all thy Meteors, of what ever kinde, With terror sort them selves in just araie: And worke such fear in every mortall minde, That all the world may waile for ones decade. Alas too soone by Destins fatal knife, Sweete Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. CORYDON. Tityrus thy plaint is overlong, Here pause a while, at Corydons request: Of what is wanting in thy farfet song, My moorning voice shall strive to tell the rest. But I must sorrow in a lower vaine. Not like to thee, whose words have wings at wil: An humble stile befits a simple Swaine, My Muse shall pipe but on an oaten quill. Immortall Fauns, Satyrs, and great Pan, The Gods and guiders of our fruitfull soile, Come seat your selves by me, and waile the man, Whose death was hastned by his vertuous toile. Yee comelie Graces neither dance nor plaie, Nor kembe your beauteous tresses in the Sun, But now since Meliboeus is awaie, Sit downe and weepe, for wanton daies are dun. Now in the woods be leafelesse evry Tree, And beare not pleasant fruits as heretofore: Myrrha let weeping gums distill from thee, And help to make my dolefull plaint the more. Now in the woods let night-ravns croak by daie, And gladies Owles shrike out, and Vulturs grone: But smaller birds that sweetly sing and play, Be whist and still: for you can make no mone. Now in the fields each corne hang down his head, Since he is gon that weeded all our corne: And sprouting Vines wither till you be dead, Since he is dead, that shielded you from storme. Now in the fields rot fruits while you are greene, Since he is gon that usde to graff and grace you: And die faire flowres, since he no more is seene, That in Dianaes garland used to place you. O heards and tender flocks, O handsmooth plains, O Eccho dwelling both in mount and vallie: O groves and bubling springs, O nimphs, O swains. O yong and olde, O weepe all Arcadie. Alas too soone by Destins fatall knife Sweete Meliboeus is depriv'd of life. TITYRUS. O let me interrrupt thee yet once more, For who should more lament his losse then I. That oft have tasted of his bounteous store, And knew his secret vertues perfectlie? We have alreadie summond everie part, Excepting that which in the Ocean lies: To stand copartners of our wofull smart, And beate the senselesse aire with Elegies. Now therfore Neptune grant me this one boone, Depose great Jove for so misguiding fate: That Meliboeus wounded all too soone, By Mortaes malice dies before his date. And thou old Glaucus with divining blest, Prophet to him that never speakes but truth, Come with Palaemon, Phorcus, and the rest, And here give oracle of endles rush. Come Tethis come with Thetis after thee, And all thy watrie nymphs, a lovelie traine: Vouchsafe to sit upon these bankes with me, That I may heare both thee and them complaine. And thou great Triton with thy sounding shell, Impart my grievance unto everie shore: And with a murmure make the waves goe tell, That worthie Meliboeus breaths no more. Now let no Dolphins seeke Arions Muse, Nor play by shore to ketch up heedles boies: Let them suppose sweete Musicke out of use, And wanton lovetricks to be foolish toies. Deceitfull Mermaids leave your auncient guise, Forbeare to sing while tempest troubles us: Let me behold whole fountains in your eies, For weeping sits unhappie Tityrus. CORYDON. But Tityrus inough, leave of a while: Stop moorning springs, drie up thy drearie eine, And blithlie intertaine my altred stile, Inticd from griefs by some allure divine. For now my mind reclaimd from carefull mone, Gins fault hir giving place to sorrows sourse: And in hir change intreats thee cease to grone, That as we grievd, so we may joie by course. In just complaint though sorrowes were begun, And all too litle for the man we waile: Yet now at last our sorrows must be done, And more then moorning reason must prevail. Injustlie grudge we Meliboeus death, As though his worth were buried in his fate: But neither are his vertues drenchd in Leath, Nor vertuous soule removd to meaner state: His faith hath framd his spirit holie wings, To soare with Astrophil above the Sun: And there he joies, whence every comfort springs, And where the fulnes of his blisse begun. Let us be joifull after long annoie, Since Meliboeus livs in perfect joie. Our Meliboeus livs where Seraphins Doe praise the Highest in their glorious flames: Where stowes the knowledge of wise Cherubins: Where Throans exhibit earthlie deeds and names Where Dominations rule and yet obaie: Where Principalities to lower powers Deepe hidden misteries doe still bewraie: Where arms are usd by foe-subduing powers. Where Vertues practise miracles and wunder: Where both Archangels and sweet Angels sing, Whose office is, to us, that live here under, From heavn caelestiall messages to bring. Let us be joifull after long annoie, Since Meliboeus livs in perfit dole. Now Meliboeus in comparelesse place, Drinkes Nectar, eates divine Ambrosia; And hath fruition of eternall grace, And with his countnance cheeres Arcadia. Then while his spirit dwels in heavnlie towres, Let us performe what honor dutie willes: Let us adorne his sacred tumb with flowres, And sweete it with the riches of our hilles. Our vernall Flora that bewailes our losse, Will gladlie let hir flowrie locks be rent: And clad hir selfe in moornfull roabes of mosse, If all the treasure of hir buds were spent. Then Flora lends us thime and violets, Sweete balme and roses for his buriall: Bestow no wealth on wanton amorets, But spare it to adorne his funerall. And Pales bath his lims in fluds of milke, And cover him with costly ornament: Inshrine his corps in sheetes of softest silke, For he deservs Mausolus monument. And Tityrus let us before the rest set holie lights, And watch his breathles corse, Singing sweet himns for him whose soule is blest, Though parted from his flesh by deaths divorce. Now cheere we Dryas in hir miserie, Who overlong bewailes hir haplesse case: Lest overloving like Laodamie, Shee loose hir selfe in deepe supposd imbrace. Now call we Hyale from whispring streames, Increast with teares (true servants of annoie) Who takes no pleasure but in griefs extreames, Nor joies in ought but in hir want of joie: Faire Hyale, who wringing oft hir armes, Hir armes far whiter then Sythonian snoa, With doubling sighs bewails hir helples harmes, Alas that helples harmes should vexe hir so. Yet beuteous Nymph thy carefull mother lives, (Long may shee live, and living ease thy hart) Accept what comfort hir surviving gives, And in lifes comfort drown thy sorrows smart. Helpe thou with us, and evrie countrie wight, To chace all grievance from Dianaes minde: From drad Diana, earths and heavns delight, Diana, glorie of hir sexe and kinde; Diana, wondrous mirrour of our daies; Diana matchlesse Queene of Arcadie; Diana, whose surpassing beauties praise Improovs hir worth past terrene deitie; Diana, Sibill for hir secret skill; Diana, pieties chief earthlie friend; Diana, holie both in deede and will; Diana whose just praises have no end. Ah but my Muse, that creeps but on the ground, Begins to tremble at my great presume, For naming hir, whose titles onelie found Doth glad the welkin with a sweet perfume. For in hir minde so manie vertues dwell, As evrie moment breed new pieties: Yet all in one cojoind doe all excell, And crowne hir worth with sundrie deities. But that unwares my sorie stile proceeds Drad Cynthia pardon: love desires dispense: As Joves high Oaks orelook Pans slender reeds, So bove all praising flies thine excellence. Yet lest my homespun verse obscure hir worth, Sweet Spencer let me leave this taske to thee, Whose neverstooping quill can best fet forth Such things of state, as passe my Muse, and me. Thou Spencer art the alderliefest swaine, Or haply if that word be all to base, Thou art Apollo whose sweet hunnie vaine Amongst the Muses hath a chiefest place. Therefore in fulnes of thy duties love, Calme thou the tempest of Dianaes brest, Whilst shee for Meliboeus late remove Afflicts hir mind with overlong unrest. Tell hir forthwith (for well shee likes thy vaine) That though great Meliboeus be awaie: Yet like to him there manie still remaine, Which will uphold hir countrie from decaie. First name Damoetas, flowre of Arcadie, Whose thoughts are prudent, and speech vertuous, Whose looks have mildnes joind with Majestie, Whose hand is liberall and valorous: He is Damoetas; that is wont to blame Extreamest justice voice of equitie: Diana terms him by an other name, Hatton, unlesse I faile in memorie. The name old Damon, whom shee knows of old For such as Nestor was to Graecians guide: Worth ten of Ajax, worth all Croessus gold, If his deserts in ballance could be tride. Damon is he that counsels still aright, And heedfullie preservs Dianaes store: And wakes when others rest them selvs by night, We Arcads cald him Cecill heretofore. Then name brave Aegon, that with ships defence About our coast orespreds the Ocean plaines, To keepe fell monsters of the sea from hence: We cleape him Howard, that are countrie swaines. Name Mopsus, Daphnis, Faustus, and the rest, Whose sevrall gifts thy singing can expresse: When thou shalt tell how shee in them is blest, Their verie names will comfort hir distresse. TITYRUS. Castor and Pollux, Loedaes lovelie twins, Whose bright aspect cheers moornful Mariners, Shewing them selves when pleasant calme begins, Of gladsome newes two welcome messengers, Convey great comfort to the weltred minde, And with their sheen appearance breed delight: Yet Corydon thy leare and love combinde Please more by healing, then those twain by sight, For they portending stormie windes surcease, But by portending cause the hearts content: Thy learnd persuades command my sorrow cease, And sweetnes doth allure to merriment. But hie we homeward, night comes on apace, Weel learne belive forget our doleful notes: See where faire Venus shewes hir radiant face, Lets hence, and shut our sheepfolds in their coat.

[ladyclementine]

He gazed into the air, searching for a word in my language. I blinked. Across the pool a zephyr stirred, in my language. Where was I? Where was he? Where he looked, remembering? The air was his release; his burden, my language. Our silence was the air itself, and the moment timeless though a timeless moment is absurd, in my language). So it would always be with us, back and forth: what he implied in his, I inferred in my language. Plain speech? There’s no such thing! I can’t tell you how much the overwrought can undergird in my language. Did he clear his throat? Did rain fall? Can there really be a ringing bell or a singing bird in my language? He blurted out the word in his own tongue, like a bell rung, a distant bell, whose very speech was slurred, in my language. Who am I now, gone crystalline with waiting, listening for what I still have never heard in my language? —Daniel Hall, “Ghazal”

[ladyclementine]

Now that I've gotten home, wound down a bit, and put some jammies on, I've decided to do a little writing!

I consider myself a rather laid back person. I worry a lot about certain things, but on the whole I am more quiet, relaxed, shy type of person. You would never guess that if you saw me at work. When I walk in there I become this happy, chipper, joking, laughing, teasing, jubilant person. ESPECIALLY when we are busy! It's amazing, I know...the busier we are, the happier I get. Maybe it's a stress reaction, maybe I just REALLY LOVE helping people. But regardless, after using all that energy - by the end of the day, my HP has drained to critical levels.

If this gives you any inclination into how my day went, I walked into Walmart after work to get some window insulation and saw someone browsing the pharmacy. I almost walked up to ask if there was anything I could do to help them. Now, I would sometimes do that just out of the goodness of my heart, being that their pharmacy was closed, but today I was on auto-pilot. If I had gone up to that man, I might have told him to shake the toddler well and give the tylenol 2.5 mL ever 4-6 hours. I was not in the state of mind necessary to cater to anyones' needs at that point in time.

I spend 10 hours a day, 4-5 days a week behind a pharmacy counter. That may not seem very difficult...I check prescriptions, count pills, yada yada...but then you add in the patient-centered aspect. Every profession has its' boons - usually difficult customers or difficult bosses. My bosses are pretty cool for the most part, except their tendency to understaff. Our problems usually come from the people. We call them, 'The Outsiders'...dun dun duuuun.

We have all sorts:

The seeker: e.g. Someone who tries to fill two pain medications written from two different doctors on the same day. e.g. someone who tries to call in a refill on their pain or anxiety medication early, and wonders why they can't just get their 210 pills 10 days early if they pay cash instead of running it through the insurance. e.g. the person with no congestion and rotting teeth asking for a Sudafed product, complaining that drug seekers ruin everything by causing us to require a prescription, then asking where the nearest town or county is where they can buy some without one.

The stubborn or careless: e.g. The person who asks if there is anything over the counter for their 5 month old infant who's been sick for a week, because they don't want to make a doctor's appointment. e.g. The person filling allergy medicine with a pack of cigarettes in their purse or pocket, while blowing mucus out of their tracheostomy into a tissue (for those who don't know what a tracheostomy is, it is a hole in the throat, usually seen in patients coming off a ventilator or with throat cancer)

The clueless: e.g. The person who calls asking if they have anything ready, but when you ask what they are looking for they have no idea. e.g. the person who calls in refills on 'all their meds that they get filled there', but you ask which ones they want and they say, 'I don't know, just fill them all'. Then when they pick them up they wonder why you filled this medication, because they stopped taking it and you have to put half of their order back on the shelf.

The impatient/fast-food runner: e.g. the person who comes through the drive through and says, 'order for pick-up'. e.g. the person who comes through drive through and asks for a refill, and when you say it will be about 20 minutes they say ok, roll up their window, and just sit in the lane until you're done or until you ask them to leave and come back. e.g. the person who says it's fine that it will take 15 minutes, and stands up front drumming their nails on the counter. Or today, when someone said he would come back 'when someone was actually working'.

The moocher: e.g. The 40-year old woman who comes in crying because her step-mom will only pay for half of her 72$ ritalin, when she won't get health insurance because it's 'useless'.

The sly: e.g. the person who comes in from the ER with a script for an antibiotic and a pain medication, and ask that you only fill the pain medication. Since we don't allow that, they say 'maybe I'll get it if it goes through my insurance..I'm not sure I can afford it'. When they pick up the medication, they also have you check out a 6 pack of beer or a few bags of candy.

Now, this is just a BRIEF list off the top of my head. There are multiple categories beyond these, also including communications with physicians' offices, the people you just can't do anything right for, or patients who ask a zillion irrelevant questions, including the locations of non-pharmacy related items in the store (which I have no idea where they might be).

The hardest part is not becoming jaded - you never know who is telling the truth and who is lying, and at the end of the day it is always the pharmacist's call. I've begun to be more decisive and resolute in difficult situations, which is something I've always lacked before.

What was the point of this post? I don't think there was one - maybe to complain, to get something off my chest, maybe just to let someone know that pharmacy is not a piece of cake? Regardless, I feel better.

[ladyclementine]

There are women in this world who fight for their lives every day...Fight to live, fight to be accepted, and fight to go back to a home where they will forever be persecuted.

Despite their situation, the Witches of Gambaga are a magical group of women (forgive the pun) who are pushing past adversity. They work hard, and they still love life. They want to make their childrens' lives better, so they will not have to live the same way their mothers were forced to. You can learn and support them through the link below, but more importantly, please take a breif moment and take yourself away -- Take notice of the sorts of things we find ridiculous or inhuman that are still occuring all over the world.

                           http://www.witchesofgambaga.com/

[ladyclementine]

"For what is hell but a heaven reversed? The two words, diabolical and divine, when applied to extremes of enjoyment, express the same thing, that is, sensations that reach the supernatural."

--Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly

[ladyclementine]

Things I Learned in Nalerigu

I have learned much about the Mamprusi culture in the past 6 weeks, yet it barely scratches the surface. I just wanted to mention a few of the things I had observed and some of the Mampruli language I learned from new friends there.

When interacting with people always offer or take things with your right hand. It is a sign of respect.

Greet Everyone. There are greetings for every time of day and for most activities. It is considered very rude if you do not greet, and especially if you do not respond to someone greeting you. It seems that everyone asks if your family is well or if you slept well. When saying goodbye, most every African I encountered said, 'Safe Journey'. This makes sense because of the very dangerous vehicles and driving conditions.

Historically, the 'thumbs up' sign is a negative symbol equivalent to flicking someone off. Today, African cultures see that sign on T.V. and know it is positive. However, you never want to point your thumb towards someone - it is still disrespectful.

All women where beads around their waist. They leave them on at all times, including during showering, until they break and they get new ones. It was difficult to determine the reason why. The best they could explain was that it is a sign for beauty, or rather, for a 'good woman'. It could also have something to do with fertility.

It is discourteous for a woman to pay when with a man. When men and women are together the man always pays, and all 'business' communication is made through the men. Otherwise, people consider the man to be taking advantage of the woman.

Small children do not wear underwear. They have few clothes, and so they are usually somewhat dirty. If they do not wear underwear they can squat anywhere they are at and won't ruin them. Not all children where diapers, either..or at least not at all times. The child will urinate and the mother uses her wrap to clean it up.

Women have three parts to their clothing. A skirt or dress, a head wrap, and a piece of fabric used like a sarong. This third piece is used for multiple things, including - a bib or rag, further sun shade, and a carriage for their children. The women will lean forward and swing the child onto their back. Then they wrap the sarong around the child and tie it in the front. They also carry everything on their heads. Both of these things keep their hands free for manouvering and for selling things. They balance anything from plates of food, to baskets of supplies, to full blown kitchen tables.

Everyone rides a motorbike. it is impractical to have cars. They are too expensive and the roads are terrible. They would be blocked from entering the smaller villages. It's warm outside the entire season, anyways, so who needs them?

Children and some locals believe that white people are good luck. They will reach out to touch you or try to hold your hand.

Many people still believe in magic and reject the idea of technology being man-made

Death from malnutrition is not from lack of food - it is from lack of a variety of nutrients. There is no shortage of rice or cassava there.

Many avoid discussing death. In the hospitals, if someone is on the edge of death the staff will often not tell them. Sometimes it is because they don't want to, but many times the families do not want to know. The doctors will send someone home who is close to death from (likely) some kind of cancer and tell them to pray for God to help them. They have no medicine for them. But they won't tell them that there is no way for them to get better.

This is Mampruli, which I was fortunate enough to learn a small amount of. A few words/phrases were provided by the BMC before I arrived, but most of these I learned through conversation.

GREETINGS Ee-JAAH-ree:                      Welcome Ay-YOU-ree:                       What is your name? Naaahhh or Tu-MAH-sum:   'Universal response' DAH-su-bah:                       Good morning Nee-wun-TANGH-ah:           good afternoon Nee-zah-no-ree:                 good evening Nee-tu-MAH:                      at work/how is your work Nee-GO-rum:                     walking Nee-ee-DAH:                      at market

Ah-no-ah-lah or Sah-hah-ma:                Goodbye Nah-oon-ay nen-tee bye-soo-oo eh-soo: May God grant you a blessed tomorrow

HEALTH AND HOW ARE YOU'S Den-ya-OOH-lah:                         How are you doing? Eh-tu-mah or Tu-man-ya-oolah:   How is your work? Ee-sah-don-WU-lah OR Ee-sah-bee-syah:  How did you sleep? Ee-bee-YAH beh WU-la:                How is your child? ee-bee-SEE beh WU-lah:              How are your children? ee mah beh WU-la:                      How is your mother? Ee bah beh WU-lah:                     How is your father? ee-pwa beh Wu-lah:                    How is your wife? ee-seerah beh WU-lah:                How is your husband? ee-yeer dee-ma:                         How are your house people? (house workers) De-SWAH:                                  very good, very well

Ah-LAH-feh-ya or Ah-LAH-feh-ya Beh-nee:   How is your health? --Is also a response Kah ah-LAH-feya or ah-LAH-feya kah-nee:    I am sick Ee-bom-BAY-lah:                  What part of your body is sick? S(z)OO-goo:                         head Poom OR Poo-ree:                 stomach soo-foo:                               heart nee-yan-GAH:                       back Nah-PONG:                           Leg Noo:                                     Arm kpinkpan (ping-pan)              upper arm, where injection goes Di(r)i-goo:                            right gwo-bi-gah:                          left Ko-hong-gu:                         cough Bee-YO-kum ZA yini-yini:      Take one tablet every day

PLACES Tee-che-mah:      Let's go CHUM-nah:          Come here Walla-yen-a-ee:   where are you going? Ee-WAH-tu-mah:  I am going to work Ee-yah-kan-ay kah-yee-nah:  Where are you from? Ah-yee-lah...:      I am from... yiri (yee-ree):      house Koh-nah:             home

PHRAsES AND ADJECTIVES Bo-kay-DEE Wun TANGH-ah:   What did you eat this afternoon? Eh-dee-lah...:                         I ate... Bo-kay-DAH:                          what did you buy? N-KAAH:                                I don't have Zah:                                      All

um-POOS-YAH:                      Thank you ee-VAY-lah:                           person or living thing is beautiful ca-VAY-lah:                           object is beautiful Jee-ri-see:                             tiredness

TIME AND DAYS ah-lah-ha-ree     Sunday ah-ta-nee          Monday ah-ta-lah-ta       Tuesday ah-lah-ree-bah   Wednesday ah-lah-mee-see  Thursday  ah-zoo-mah        Friday ah-see-bee-ree   Saturday

dah-ree added after a day means the coming day            e.g. this coming Monday  ah-ta-nee dah-ree

Add 'lah dah-ree' and it means last week’s day            e.g. last Saturday  ah-see-bee-ree lah dah-ree

BEE-oh         Tomorrow= SOE-si-lah    Yesterday DAH-ree       Day/days baw-qui        Week go-ree/go-yah           Month/months youm-nee/you-mah   Year/years

NUMBERS 1   yee-nee 2   ah-bah-yee 3   ah-bah-tah 4   ah-bah-naasi 5   ah-bah-nu 6   ah-bah-yoo-bu 7   ah-bah-yoo-pwa 8   ah-bah-nee 9   ah-bah-weh 10 pee-yah

OTHER WORDS AND PHRASES God                            nah-WOO-nee Jesus                          YEE-sa Blessing                      ah-lah-BAH-rik-ah Amen                          ah-MEE God give you health      nah-WOON PASS-ee

[ladyclementine]

Well, I'm home. That's that. I've finally made it back to Willow Springs and I work tomorrow :( But for now, I am drinking chai tea, picking out good baking apples from the ones we picked in the backyard, and of course, writing my blog.

The flight was long and exhausting, of course. I slept so much better on the way there than on the way back! But on the way there I took a day at the guest house to recouperate. When I got back here I jumped right back into life. I jumped a bit fast in my opinion. This pretty much explains how I felt: exhausted, happy, disoriented, and all around unreal.

When you come back from an experience in a third world country (an experience, mind you...not a vacation), you return to the U.S. a little disoriented. I had spent 6 weeks living around clay huts with grass roofs, unpaved roads, goats in the road, and no grocery stores. You get to the airport and suddenly there is big business, any type of restaurant you could imagine, pay phones and real bathrooms and people walking past you as fast as they can while yelling at someone on their cell phone because so-and-so didn't get the report in on time and they're getting blamed. It's a completely different world.

BUT --- It was way easier to get over the culture shock this time than the 3 weeks I spent in Ecuador. There I was completely immersed in the culture with almost no contact with home. Here I got to stay in a  'real' house, I had cooks, and we were separated from town. So, I went to a poor nation, played a little Dr. Larsson, played a little Professor Larsson, and now I'm back.

At the airport I was heading towards baggage, wondering where my family would be standing, and if I was going to see them at a close enough distance I could drop my bags and jump into Lizbet's arms. Fairy tale style. Then, in the midst of my daydream, my mom leaps out from behind a pillar at me and I almost pee my pants. They almost didn't recognize me with my hair all braided like an African. I hugged them all so hard...seeing Beth was the greatest. My tummy started to ache - it was like I had swallowed a unicorn and its horn was poking my tummy from the inside. So it was a good ache.

We wanted to go out for sushi for lunch, but I had gotten back at an odd time and none were going to be open for a while. So my parents dropped Beth and I at her car and we all drove to Edwardsville and went grocery shopping. I was afraid to step inside. I guess it's better to get things over with sooner than later, though. I walked in the door and saw the massive amounts of food. The imported vegetables all shiny and pristine, rows and rows of chips and popcorn and candy, drink areas with any beverage you could imagine...no drinking out of little plastic baggies here. And then the people - walking through the register area like an assembly line. Blank stares, loaded with junk food and pre-made meals. I felt dizzy. But on the other hand, I also missed the junk food, and my loving mother bought me anything I might want. This included lox (my favorite!), cream cheese, capers, sourdough bread, snickers, candy corn, melon, rasberries, yogurt, potatoes, green beans, broccoli, etc. etc. It was intoxicating. I realize how little I have to work to feed myself.

The drive back to my parents was...lonely. Beth and I chatted a bit, but I felt displaced. As if my body was here and had always been here. Nothing had changed, everything my body was doing and my eyes were seeing was the same. But my mind must have wandered. It must have traveled thousands of miles on its own, because my body feels like it never left. Somewhere, something was disconnected. Maybe I was just so tired.

At my parents' home we have lox for dinner and I unpack all of my things. I have so MANY things. I have never bought so many things in my life! I don't know what my deal was. I spent so much time worrying about what to get other people, worrying about what would be the perfect gift or what they would just love. I think that it is a matter of finances. Before, whenever I had gone on a trip, whether it be in the U.S. or overseas, I never had the money to buy souvenirs. For myself or for anyone else. Now I have a job, I make good money, and I can afford to buy beautiful things for people...and I think most of them did love their gifts. The people who gave me the reaction I was trying so hard for was Frank (Beth's dad), Joyce (her grandma), and my dad. Dad made me feel so good...he tried on his shirt right away and went on about how awesome it was and how he couldn't believe it was the perfect size even though the seamstress had never seen him. He also wore it to work the next day. My dad is just the greatest.

On Sunday, Lizbet and I went to see a movie, which felt really good. We went on a walk that day/night and played in the autumn leaves. I collected some to make roses out of. Monday I had my Colorado MPJE, so we dropped through Edwardsville for a sushi lunch and went to St. Louis. I pretty much rocked the exam (I hope), and we went to the mall and to the grocery stores to get our crazy organic food - since there are few resources for such things at home. And now I am cozy in my own kitchen, baking vegetarian lasagna and sipping on chai.

And as I sit here alone, and completely comfortable with that, I remember what it was like in Africa. Where there was always someone there. There was always someone wanting to talk to you or to hang out with you. In town, everyone was everyone's friend, and if they weren't, they said 'hi' anyways. I realized near the end how I purposefully disconnect myself from my friends, acquaintances, and people I love. Why do I do that? I love my friends. I love the times we've had, and I love hanging out with them. But I like to be alone. I don't like having to make the effort to call someone to make plans that will fall through 80% of the time. Is that a me thing? Or is that a cultural thing? I want to reconnect - but I am not sure I can make myself do it.

I am happy to be home, and seeing my family and Beth was the best thing since snowballs, but I still feel lost...and sad, most of the time. It just takes time.

[ladyclementine]

11.10.12

I keep doing something and I am inspired to write, but when I sit down nothing comes out. Isn't that frustrating? It's not exactly writers block, it's just that I suddenly become unmotivated. I suppose that's why I've never been able to keep a blog for very long. It's exciting to tell everyone what's happening for a while, but then the excitement runs out and I wonder, 'who really wants to hear all of this rambling?' And then I think, 'probably not me'. And there my writing goes out the chute.

I am in Accra today. I woke up in Nalerigu at 3:30 AM and double checked my room before grabbing a piece of bread smeared with peanut butter. I found a note from Kristell sitting on the top of my shoe. I was really glad to make a connection there. Traveling alone is no big deal, but being alone all the time is just no fun. I decided to draw Kim (the OBGYN) a little 'don't worry, be happy' picture for her to wake up to. She was in the OR until 8:30 last night, never came home for dinner, and apparently the c-section she had been doing went bad and the baby died. She has not been having good fortune her first couple of days...or rather the patients haven't. I then had a lovely 3 hour drive with Michael to Tamale, and rode those red roads one last time...

This time there IS someone to pick me up at the airport, which is a relief. Johnny drives me to the guest house and I settle in. When I finally feel settled, with all of my belongings flung over the three beds in the room, I go downstairs to see what I can find to do in Accra. I study a map on the wall for a good..20 minutes. Then I ask where the guest house is located and stare at it some more. I do a little internet research and decide to check out the National Museum. I wrote directions down from the map and then asked the receptionist whether I turn right or left out of the building. She laughed - hard - when I said I was going to walk to the museum. Haha. I don't have any money for a taxi ride! So the owner, Sam, gives me directions to the Oxford area where I can find a bank, and I can catch a taxi from there. I turn left out of the front gate and walk a good 5 minutes before I realized I forgot my camera, so I backtracked and started over again.

Accra is different from the other cities I've seen thus far. It is still dirty and crowded, with calamitous streets, but things seem more...spaced out. It doesn't seem AS dirty or AS crowded in most areas because everything is looser. People and businesses are not trying to pack as many storefronts into an area as possible. I'm sure the main markets have striking similarities, however. I walk by several women vendors selling fruit or 'minerals' (soda), and I pass a carpentry area where many men are lounging around. Some are talking or playing cards, some sawing wooden planks, and others weaving the long, slender, flexible pieces through the skeleton of a loveseat. I like walking at a quick but easy pace, so I can get where I am going but am still able to see what is going on around me. So I meander down the road, constantly shaking my head no to the questioning honks of empty taxis passing by.

I pick up some cash and hail a cab. I ask the first one if he knows where national museum is, and he tells me to get in. Then he asks me what area it's in. I open the door and step back out. The next driver is more experienced and as soon as he knew my destination he swung his car to turn to the left, while cutting off the cars coming from the other direction at the intersection. It seems that honking is second nature to these people. They honk at everything. The driver is a pleasant man, very easy to talk to. He tries to convince me to pay him extra to wait at the museum and take me to my next destination, but I repeatedly have to deny the offer.

The museum is only 6 Gc. They have such beautiful things! And the culture is amazing! But the information is printed on computer paper and stuck to the wall with tape, and it just feels oddly...detached. But it was enjoyable. I bought a rug with traditional symbols on it!

I walked my way over to the Art Centre...which is basically a big tourist trap, but now I have these extra cedis and I need to spend them. First I try to buy a map that is a bit worn around the edges - of course, at a discounted price because of it. But they won't sell it! Apparently the maps they have to sell at full price, and if it is not in tip top shape they send it back to the government so they can get a new one. No wonder it is so hard to find maps here. I wander into the next shop and a young man asks if he can show me his paintings. So I sit as he flips through every single one of his and his students' hundred and some paintings, explaining every one. I couldn't resist, and I bought two. Now, of course, everything in Accra is WAY more expensive than Tamale or Nalerigu, so I've already cut my funds in half with the day so far. I walk further until, expectedly, a young man calls out and hustles me to his shop. He hands me object after object of handmade items that all look exactly the same. He hustles me into three other shops before I finally set my foot down and told him to leave me alone! They have a process, see? They hustle you to their shop and adamantly try to sell a product. If you seem hesitant or like you are going to leave they sit down and ask your name, how are you, where are you from, etc. They get you into a conversation, not just cursory comments and make you feel like they really just want to talk to you. Then they offer you a deal. "I like you. This is 45 cedi, I will give it you for 40." After that they rarely budge.

After I escape the vendors (I have only saved enough to pay for food and my rent...I didn't even get through half the shops!), I stop at the restaurant there and get some red-red, my favorite! Who can go wrong with plantains and beans? There are some other Europeans and Americans there that give me a furtive glance, then avoid my eyes. Even in other countries, we are closed off. I end up having a lovely conversation over a black current mineral with the owner of the place. I said I was from Missouri, and he is the first person to say, "oh! Saint Louis!" So we chat about his friend there and my travels. Then he helped me to find a taxi home.

The taxi ride was awkward. The young man is silent for a while, hardly answering my questions about himself, but suddenly seems to open up and asks where I am from. "USA, wow...hehe America!" His voice was young, but heavy sounding..with a slight slur to his words. He eventually got to asking me about my church, to which I replied that I did not go. The rest of our car ride was spent with him repeatedly asking if I believed in God, the bible, Jesus, etc., and responding with, "No? Wow...hehe wow," and telling me that I would, like, go to hell if I, like, wasn't a good christian and to not lie, or steal. I was glad when he dropped me off.

I went to my room and repacked my bags. Then I went downstairs to peruse the bookshelves. My eye settled on one called 'Africa Alone'. Of course that would catch my eye. It is about a man who is, obviously, traversing Africa. I had picked up some jollof rice to go, so I heated some up and sat down comfortably with my book for the night.

12.10.12

This morning I contemplated exercising, but couldn't motivate myself. I got up, showered, and took a walk in search of breakfast. Near the wicker carpentry place I found a fruit stand and went all out - I grabbed a pineapple, paw-paw, and some grano-nuts. On the way back I tried some fried thing made out of bean, which was not my favorite, and bought a small amount of bread. I also got a Malta from a third vendor. It was a delicious and long winded breakfast. The only questionable item was the Malta, which is made by Guinness (like most beverages here). It's non-alcoholic, I promise! I don't start that early. It is kind of like...chocolate soda. It wasn't great, but it was worth a try.

Today I am just chilling at the hostel until my ride to the airport comes. My flight leaves this evening, so it will be dark when I get on the plane. All the better to sleep in, my dear! I've been thinking back to my trip, and though I am ready to go home, I am so happy for what I've experienced here...Strangely, I think I will miss the red dirt trails, I'll miss the abundant fruit trees, the colorful market with its atrocious barage of sights and smells, the animals scattered untied amongst the houses and sleeping in the roads, and walking to work every day through a field of tall grass, passing burros and looking off to the softened mountains in the distance. Gives me a bit of nostalgia already.

Then there is Thomas...the 11-12 year old boy who waited on my porch every day after school. The boy who loved to tell me what he learned that day, and explained to me the scientific method, worked at solving the math practice questions I gave him, and wants to be a doctor someday. He gave me three pictures over my last three days. The first says "I love Ghana", the second says "Jackie in Ghana" with stickers and a little Ghanaian flag and a translation of the days of the week. The third is a description of the regions and their capitals. I think I will miss him more than anyone else. And I will never forget the way his face lit up and spread into a shy grin when I gave him a notebook for school.

A few things I will NOT miss are being followed by twenty children at all times in the town (especially market - it makes it very difficult to get through the small aisles), some of the children who always asked for money, and the men who would whip their burros mercilessly as they are carrying incredibly heavy loads along with their 'master'. One time I almost grabbed the whip from an older man who was beating the burro even as it was plodding along, not doing anything wrong. But I know that if I had, the consequences would not have been pleasant.

I will also miss the sense of camaraderie that I saw in the streets every day. People helping strangers, stopping to help load or unload a cart when someone is having difficulty, calling out and greeting everyone. Having people look you in the eye, and stopping you just to sit and talk for a moment. The women sitting in groups of three or five outside the front of their shop just idly chatting. Since I have entered the city again I have noticed that people are again dodging my eyes, walking with their heads down or looking straight ahead with a purpose. Ignoring the strangers around them. It feels all too...American. People are moving around with that blank look on their face hoping that no one will talk to them because they look like they have somewhere to be. Home again, home again.

But despite all that....guess what?! Tomorrow I see my family again! And Lizbet! I wish that my sister could be there. I am looking forward to entering the comforts of American life, like sushi (haha, so NOT American), a movie, and a meal of all FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. I think I missed the variety of fruits and vegetables most of all. Lizbet comes next. Then candy. Hooray! Plus, when I get back it is fall!! These means pumpkin carving, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin pie! Apple crisp, cool, refreshing afternoons where everything looks and feels crisp, and stoic, barebranched trees resting along the skyline. Delicious.