ladylilah

[ladylilah]

Closing the door behind her, making sure it firmly shut without actually slamming to potentially alarm anyone upstairs, Lilah took just a singular moment to herself standing there in the foyer. Eyes closed tight in refusal to let a single tear fall and deep breaths taken to calm down the shaking nerves that were lit aflame inside of her system. The only real solace she could take was the hope that no one had heard any of that - that this was just another occurrence she could sweep under the rug and hide from everyone else in her life, especially her children. When no one immediately pounces on her with questions as to who was at the door or what they wanted, a false sense of relief washes over her and she finally extracts herself from the wall to head back into the kitchen and continue on with her night. Because that was all she really could do.

Of course, it’s as soon as she rounds the corner that her heart drops right back into her stomach at the sight of her youngest daughter standing in the middle of the kitchen. “Colette,” she breathes out the girl’s name, ready to ask what she was doing down here or how long she’d been standing there - only to be cut off before any other word could get out. Fuck. It was clear that she had heard at least part of what had just happened, but how much was the question. Despite the fact that she had told herself she was going to stop lying to the children as often, Lilah couldn’t help the way her first and most obvious instinct kicked in without thought. A soft, forced laugh escapes her as she shakes her head in an attempt to play nonchalant. “It was just your grandmother. We had a bit of an argument, nothing for you to worry about,” she answers easily, not even a lie but certainly far from the whole truth. “But what are you doing down here? Did you want some dessert? I saved you some in case you changed your mind and came down - or wanted any later tonight, you don’t need to have it right now if you’re still not up to it.” It was an obvious attempt to distract Colette from everything she had just potentially witnessed - one that she desperately hoped the younger girl would just accept and move forward with.

-timeskip to later that night-

Tonight was one of the few times Colette had ever confided in her mom about her relationship—or lack thereof now—of which there were many instances of similarity that occurred between her and her ex but this time, it was final. If anything, this was the time it meant most for her that her mom just sat down and listened and comforted her, and, most importantly, it was the first time she really wanted her mom to be there. Given her parent’s divorce, she figured that her mom could relate to finding a limit within a relationship. Even if she couldn’t, wasn’t the best thing a parent could do is, simply, be there? The fact that Colette could cast aside her harbored hostility towards her mom for one night definitely revealed that answer.

Why the hell anyone was showing up after Thanksgiving dinner was a perplexing enough question to get the young girl out of bed and ready to fight with whoever rang the doorbell so late at night. She figured it was just a prank, or something stupid along those lines, not even considering it was could have been sort of emergency or someone asking for help. And she was partially right, it wasn’t an emergency. She knew the voices that were shut out by the front door very well and was very close to opening the door herself to bring herself to a conversation that didn’t sound like it needed her at all. As she got closer to the door she could make out what her mother was saying, talks of the abuse she went through when she was married. It was something she was prepared to hear, with Tramp saying she would use an excuse like that to justify the divorce and that it wasn’t true at all. But when the words came from Lilah, it was hard to see her making it up. She spoke of it with such conviction, enough to consider that maybe her dad did her wrong and that maybe he really was capable of hurting Lilah. 

Colette could sense their conversation coming to a close and out of panic she moved from the entryway to the kitchen, if only just to regain a sense of normalcy instead of having to rethink everything she’d ever known. But that seemed like a short-lived event when all of a sudden her mom entered the room to resume putting away the rest of tonight’s dinner. It wasn’t something she was going to ignore, there was no way she couldn’t ask about it and so she did. “What the hell was that?”

[ladylilah]

With her eyes still closed she did her best to nod her understanding, however even the slightest movement was enough to cause a soft dull throbbing in her head and she instantly knew better than to repeat it. Her face scrunched up with the pain for a moment before she breathed out a deep sigh and finally opened her eyes, reaching up to wipe away at the hints of tears that had started to form against her will. “Thank you,” she offers, knowing it’ll never be enough to compensate for everything James has done these past however many hours - but at the moment the simple gratitude was all she could offer. As he took her hand again, she gave it as tight of a squeeze as she could muster and held onto it like it was her only lifeline in this sea of uncertainty.

“No apologies needed. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own. And Tristan’s - but certainly not yours,” she reassures him, even though she knows the chances of him believing it were likely slim to none. As far as Lilah was concerned, he had been there to get her out of a situation that likely could have been her end - and that was what he needed to focus on. What he had done, not what he hadn’t been around to prevent. She had chosen to leave the crowd of the party, despite knowing the risk of being followed, that was all on her. And the violence… well, that was all Tramp. “Is he – where is Tristan?” It was a question she wasn’t sure if he would have an answer to, but one she needed to know.

༝༝ 🏴‍☠️ ༝༝

Fine, it was a word with more weight than one might believe. James expected nothing less than Lilah putting on her strongest face and masking whatever pain she was still in. Regardless, he wanted to make sure in case there was something specific that was bothering her. The man hadn't much to offer in terms of soothing the physical pain her ex-husband had caused but he would give what he could to make her comfortable. After dimming the harsh lightning he noticed the woman settled slightly which made a smile hide beneath his beard, a small gesture but that was the confirmation he needed to continue caring for her in his own way.

"They're all safe, and none the wiser," James reassured. Most people might've reached out to her children to let them know what occurred yet he had done nothing of the sort. What the Deare kids didn't know wouldn't hurt them at least in this scenario, leaving it to Lilah to tell them whenever she was ready, for now letting them live in ignorant bliss. "Atta got her out of there, she'll be alright." He didn't know what for certain but the lack of word from Buster made him believe the girl would make a full recovery. In all honesty, James hadn't much considered Dot when it was the woman in the bed beside him that had nearly made his heart stop when he saw the condition Tramp left her in. Lilah tried to hide the emotions that consumed her but he read through the facade, not knowing how else to support her than by taking her hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you Lilah and I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure he never lays a hand on you again."

[ladylilah]

~ timeskip to new years day ~

Though she was certain if any of her children had noticed her disappearance before midnight the night before, they would have been worried for her potential safety - but Hook had thankfully handled keeping them away until the needed surgeries had been performed. It was a decision that while she hadn’t been conscious enough to make for herself, she still stood by. There had been no need to get any of them worked up when there was nothing they could have done. Lilah was always a strong believer in handling things herself, though this whole affair would be enough to make her realize maybe she didn’t have everything handled as well as she liked to think, but that still meant she never wanted to be any sort of bother to her children - certainly not on a holiday.

Of course, though, that meant as soon as they were informed of what had actually happened there was a high chance that they’d each be quite pissed about being left out of the loop. One of them more so than the others - and Lilah knew to prepare herself for that anger from the moment she had given the green light to contact them. What they had been told, how much information James had given any of them when he called to request they meet her wherever the hell it is they were, she didn’t know - but she knew the sight of herself in this hospital like bed with bandages all around her head would be enough to tell at least part of the story.

Her eyes were closed when the first of her children finally arrived, the door flying open with a bang that rang in her ear and had Lilah flinching ever so slightly as she finally looked up. It wasn’t a surprise that it was Scamp here first - he was the one she had been doing the most mental preparation to see, but just her luck everything she had practiced saying went right out the window as she saw the look of horror on his face as he took in the sight of her. “It’s not that bad,” she states, an absolute lie but what else is a mother to do but say whatever she can to try to comfort her kid? “I’m gonna be alright, it’s fine, really. Come here.”

It was exactly the reaction he'd expected from his mother: the burst of excitement, followed by the question of how seriously he'd taken the thought of a proposal. Scamp was never going to be his father, but the example of husbandhood Tristan had given him hadn't been the greatest by a long shot. It had him questioning constantly whether this was a step he was ready for, and whether Angelica was the person who he wanted to take the step with. But, if there was anything the past year and a half of his life back on the Isle had taught him, it was that while his father might never change, Scamp had it in him to do better, and be better than the kid who'd left all those years ago.

He nodded at her, the insistence that he was sure of all of it. "I know, Mom," he assured her, "I've thought it through, and about it a lot, over the past few weeks, and I think this is it--she's it." There wasn't ever going to be anyone better for him than Angelica: she brought out the best version of him, the one that embodied all of the lessons he'd learned off the island, working for Hopper, and reuniting with his family. She made him want to prove his father and grandfathers wrong, and treat his future wife like the equal partner he saw Angelica as. "All I ever wanted when I was with her, and without her, and since I've been back is this, and I think it's time." He hoped that was all it was going to take to convince her, and that her questions were merely a precaution to check that his answers would assure her he'd considered all of them himself. "If you'd want to come with me to pick out the ring, or plan the proposal, I'd really appreciate the help. I just want to be sure I'm doing all of this right."

[ladylilah]

It was a loaded question, whether or not she was feeling alright given everything that had happened. But she supposed that the dull thumping in her head and the stiffness of her body was a small price to pay in comparison to what could have been. Though she didn’t remember it all, Lilah knew she had been in bad shape - likely the roughest she’s ever been in before. And when the other option was being dead or feeling as she did now, well it made this pain seem like nothing. “I’m fine,” she reassures, hoping that it was the truth. Her medical knowledge was lacking far too much to really be able to tell how she was, but nothing seemed to be too obviously astray from what she could tell.

A genuine smile quirks at her lips as the lights dimmed and she felt her body relax. It was easier to see, even though the room was darker now than before, and she no longer felt so on edge with the giant fluorescents burning down on her. Before she can even ask about her children, James seems to know exactly what she was going to say and she lets out a breath of relief at the fact that none of them are here yet. There was no need to worry them, not while things had still been so out of their control. “And they’re okay, right?” she asks, assuming they must be otherwise that would have hopefully been the first thing he told her. “Tristan didn’t get to any of them? And the girl? There was – there was a girl that stepped in. What… what did he do to her?” She was almost afraid to hear the answer and the heart monitor attached to her side began beeping at a faster rate as she asked each question, the stress and worry sparking as her mind began to go over all the possible outcomes there could have been. Tristan had been on a rampage that night. If that girl hadn’t distracted him… Well, Lilah was fairly certain if it hadn’t been for her, she wouldn’t be sitting here alive right now. Which was a horrifying realization. Yes, she had always had the fear in the back of her mind that one day her ex-husband would kill her… But she hadn’t ever let herself truly come to terms with that possibility. Yes, she had feared for her life in his presence before, but never had it come quite so close as now… Never had she felt so completely unprepared to deal with him and fully at his mercy with nothing she could do to stop him… Her eyes begin to sting at the memory of that thought and she closes them tightly to prevent the tears that she fears are going to fall.

༝༝ 🏴‍☠️ ༝༝

The sound of her heartbeat on the monitor was all he had as reassurance that she would come back. The night had come and gone; the sun had caught up with them as well as James' lack of sleep. After enough time the beeping had become a soothing sound that lulled him to sleep. Even his thoughts couldn't escape the thought of her, Lilah appearing in a dream as she was before Tristan had gotten there. She was a vision but just out of reach. As the images in his head fought one another it was a voice that brought back reality, combining the woman in his mind with the one called for him. James popped back up into alert as his eyes scanned the room to make sure nothing unexpected had entered while he was incapacitated. "You're awake," he yawned, eyes settling on Lilah once assured nothing else had shifted. "Are you feeling okay?" The cough was enough to send him to nuture, making certain she was relaxing after the entire ordeal. While he knew people who could help her without involving a hospital or any of the paperwork, James couldn't help but worry. It wasn't in his nature until it came to Lilah then he was unable to help himself.

"Why don't we turn these the fuck down, huh?" He offered getting to his feet and flicking off some of the lights that filled the room. James came back to sit at the foot of her bed, not wanting to push the boundaries he feared he might've already. "I haven't told any of the kids that you're here, I figured you could tell them when you're ready." It was obvious to him that the last thing Lilah would've wanted as it was in her nature to put them before herself. "But you're good to stay and recover here for as long as you need, it's all been taken care of."

[ladylilah]

While a part of her knew he was right, she shouldn’t have to do all of this by herself, that didn’t make it any easier for her to think that it was his responsibility to jump in and help either. Maybe it shouldn’t all fall on her shoulders, but that didn’t change the fact that it always had in the past - much like every responsibility was weighed upon her throughout her life. It was just something she was used to by now, having to face every task no matter how minor or major on her own. “You’re the kid, Sammy, you shouldn’t have to be dealing with cleaning up a mess that isn’t yours,” she reminded him in counter.

Accepting the hug and the kiss on her head, Lilah leaned into his side for a brief moment, just letting herself have a second of peace with her eldest child and only son. As he pulls away, she’s expecting him to move to grab the leftovers she had mentioned setting up for him and his additional found family, so when he instead holds onto her shoulders an eyebrow immediately raises in suspicion. Before she can ask what’s happening though, Scamp was already beginning to explain. He knew his mother so well to start with a promise of nothing being wrong, but even with that warning she couldn’t help the way her heart stopped for a moment as she awaited whatever news he had to share. All she could do was nod once as he mentioned moving in with his girlfriend, a sense of relief slowly coming to her as she begins to realize just where this is likely going… And then he drops it, just what she had been thinking all of this was starting to lead up to. A huge grin slowly grows on her face and she lets out a bit of a squeal as she reaches to wrap her own arms around the boy in a tight embrace. “Sammy, that is so wonderful. Oh, I love you both so much - this is amazing,” she gushes, pulling back at the end and reaching up to brush one of his curls away from his face. “You’ve thought this completely through, though, right? It’s what you really want? Because marriage is a big commitment, you know, and it - it really shouldn’t be taken lightly. I don’t want you rushing into anything just because it’s what you think you’re supposed to do or what she might want, if you aren’t a hundred percent sure it’s also what you want to do.” She didn’t actually fear that any of that was the case for her son, but Lilah knew all too well from personal experience how easy it could be to hide your true thoughts on this matter and just go along with what society and the people around you told you that you should feel or believe.

There was a particularly selfish reason why Scamp wanted to hang back after dinner, though his method of remaining there was particularly unselfish, so much so that his mother seemed to be quick to assure him that he could immediately stop what he was doing. Even if he hadn’t come with an ulterior motive to talk to her about something so personal to him, he felt bad, leaving her with so much to do while his sisters had already taken off. “Hey, no, you shouldn’t have to do this all by yourself,” he argued. Especially when he was the one taking so much of the remnants of dinner for his roommates and himself, Scamp felt obligated to at least help her clean up: it was the least he could do. It was almost saint-like to him, how quick she was to think of his roommates and girlfriend, as though they were children of her own. He wiped his hands and reached to wrap her in a hug, placing a kiss atop her head. “Thank you.”

With enough done in the kitchen to satisfy his need to help, Scamp pulled away to simply place his hands on Lilah’s shoulders, as though to prepare her for what he was about to announce. “I also stayed because I wanted to talk to you about something. Nothing bad, or to be worried about, I promise,” he swore, a grin beginning to bloom. He hadn’t talked to a single soul about his plan, not even his roommate and best friend: it felt right, to tell his mother first. “So, you know how Angelica and I are thinking about moving in together, right? Well, I was thinking, maybe … when we move in, or after, or—I haven’t exactly figured out when, but I was thinking about proposing to her,” he admitted finally, his breath suspended as he awaited his mother’s response.

[ladylilah]

There was once a time, not too far long ago, where hearing that Buster of all people had been the one to take care of her ex-husband would have spiked her worries rather than calmed them. But as it was now, after everything that she has dealt with in regards to Tristan and the alliances she has made with these men against him… Lilah found herself believing the words to be true. If Bennett was the one dealing with Tramp then it would be fine. How far he would take things, she didn’t know nor did she have the mental capacity at the moment to care. All that mattered was that her children were safe. That their father couldn’t get anywhere near them, like James was promising he wouldn’t.

It was potentially not the best thing for her current state of being, relaxing the way she did once her stress over the safety of her children had been relieved - for even as she held onto James’s hand with the little strength she had, Lilah found herself beginning to fade. Without that sharp sense of dread and concern keeping her moving, the absolute exhaustion and overwhelming desire to just close her eyes and drift off to sleep came rushing back. Her eyes opened and closed in slow, steady blinks a few times before she finally couldn’t find it in herself to force them open anymore. The world turned to black and that was the last thing she could remember for the rest of the drive.

~ timeskip to after she wakes up ~

There was a numbness throughout her entire body that was a stark contrast to the thumping pain in her head that had woken her up. Though her eyes were already closed, she tightened them shut even more so in an attempt to block out the blazing light that seemed to surround her. A steady beeping slowly filled the room, her senses waking up one at a time as she struggled to regain consciousness. There was a hand holding hers, strong and familiar in a way she couldn’t quite pinpoint how, but she gave it a squeeze nonetheless, knowing instinctively it was someone she could trust. That simple movement seemed to be the last piece needed to have Lilah fully awake and present. A groan escapes her lips from the pain in her head and the stiffness of her body, though she doesn’t dare attempt to move at all to stretch or relieve any of it. Opening her eyes for one brief second, she immediately closes them again after being assaulted by the blinding light that was far brighter than she could have even imagined. Another whimper accompanied the next quick blink she took and then the second one after that, until she had readjusted enough to actually be able to keep them open and see just where she was.

The sight of the man at her side, hunched over with his head resting by her leg on the edge of the bed she was laying upon, started to bring back some of the memories of just exactly how she had wound up here. The fight with Tristan, her head smashing into a wall multiple times, Hook driving her to wherever it was she was now… it all came back in a rush. There were gaps of course, pieces missing that left her with so many questions and very few answers. The most important of which being just where her children were and whether or not they had been involved or tracked down by Tramp after he had finished with her. She remembers a girl, shouting out and stopping her ex-husband from continuing on his rampage with her, and Lilah needs to know what had happened to her. Shaking her hand as best she could, she fought to try to wake the man that had saved her life. “James,” she whispers at first, voice rough and coming out almost more like a croak than anything else. Coughing a few times, she cleared her throat despite the pain that came with it, so as to speak loudly enough to actually get his attention. “James. James - wake up.” There was a flash of guilt that ran through her for doing this - he had likely done so much over however long it’s been since he found her, he deserved to rest - but she needed to know what was going on and just exactly what had happened.

༝༝ 🏴‍☠️ ༝༝

James knew he'd misspoke the moment after it left his lips, her demeanor changing at the mention of her children. It was something he'd become used to since knowing her was the ferocity with which she loved her kids. While that hadn't been the childhood he experienced, the man had a great deal of respect for that strength and the ability to love beyond herself. He'd never considered having a child of his own but as time went on the realization that Oliver had filled that role was coming into view. "They're safe," he assured quickly. "Buster took care of Tramp, it's okay." She needed to stay put so he extended an arm to keep her steady, taking her hand in the process as his other remained on the wheel.

Keeping calm in a situation like this was something James was used to but when it was Lilah who bled in his passenger seat his heart rate was unusually high. If there was anyone who deserved the best it was her and yet the woman continued to be dealt a shitty hand by her ex-husband's deck. "He isn't going to be able to get anywhere near them right now, I promise." The details of what had occurred didn't need to be shared, knowing that all she needed right now was to know her children were out of harm's way. James fought his lead foot and the importance of time to keep the car from jolting her uncomfortably. "We're almost there. We're going to get you help and it's all going to be fine." Unsure now if he was convincing her or himself.

[ladylilah]

The walk to his car had seemed brutal enough, every little jostle making her ringing head louder and louder, but it settled somewhat once she was in the car. Another whimper of pain escapes her lips as James buckles her in, but she doesn’t complain, just grabs onto the seat belt strap and holds on tightly to it as if her life depends on it. There was a fluid filling up her right ear, but she didn’t dare try to reach and clear it. Any movement at all felt like tempting fate too much - she needed to just stay strong, hold on as long as she could and pray it would be enough to get her to whoever James had in mind. If it were any of her children in this position, Lilah would say damn the questioning and demand they go to the hospital - but she trusted the man taking care of her right now and knew that he would make whatever the right call was to help her as best as he could.

At the thought of her kids and the mention of needing to hold on and stay strong for them a wave of panic rushes through her, enough so to almost have her throwing up right then and there but she fights it back as best she can, letting out more small noises of pain and protest before the nausea subsides and she can think a bit clearer again. Though things were still fuzzy, the one thought came through stronger than anything else. “The kids,” she parrots back, those two words coming out clear before the rest of her speech gets slurred. “Where – where are … Tristan - he, he, he can’t. Can’t go near them…” For a brief moment she attempts to make a move to get out of the car, to go find her kids instead of getting herself to safety, but she’s too weak to do anything more than shuffle to the side slightly before giving up. With how angry her ex-husband had been, with the amount of force and rage he had shown against her, there was no telling what he would do to any of the children if he found them. Once upon a time Lilah had fooled herself into believing if she let him do whatever he wanted to her, he would never touch the kids - but now all bets were off on just where Tristan Tramp would ever draw the line. And that thought terrified her more than anything else, more than her own fate being so up in the air right now.

༝༝ 🏴‍☠️ ༝༝

It's bad, it's so bad he didn't want to say. Instead, he did all he could at the moment which was to get her out of there. A Rolodex of names went through his head, uncertain which would be the one to call for such an injury as this. The head was never somewhere you wanted to see blood come from and certainly not this much. "I've got you," his voice reassures softly. Tristan Tramp had done it again and James couldn't help but take some blame for not having seen her before he did. All he could do now was find her safety and help, putting up a silent prayer this wouldn't be the last time he heard her say his name. There wasn't time to grab Oliver and the boy was working on another job anyway, which meant James would be handling this one on his own. "First we're gonna get you in my car, okay? Then I'm gonna call some people and we're going to get you a doctor."

That was step one, he thought while setting her in the passenger seat as gently as possible. A seat belt was necessary but knowing it would cause her discomfort made him uneasy putting the strap around her. "I'm sorry," the man muttered before it clipped into place. "All I need you to do is stay with me, okay? I know you can, you're the strongest woman I know." After all he'd seen her go through if anyone could survive this it was going to be Lilah. "Your kids need you." And maybe so did he but that wasn't what she needed to hear right now. James knew if anything would help her keep fighting it was the thought of her children.

[ladylilah]

closed starter for @hoppingseason location: hopper's office - sometime between christmas and new years eve

She hated this. Hated every single aspect of what she was about to do - hated that this conversation needed to be had in the first place… But she’d done all of this before… The not knowing where or what the person she thought she was with was doing - and it was hard enough back with Tristan, where she hadn’t even cared that much whether he was being faithful or not and had simply just taken solace in the break from being near him and his anger. With Colin things were different. She wanted more, wanted something better for herself and for them than what she’d had with her ex-husband and the realization that he may not feel the same way had hit hard these past few days. While she had no concrete proof that anything had happened, the sinking feeling in her gut told her enough. And she knew they had never discussed what they were to each other, had always left things unsaid between them both, but Lilah had sort of naively just hoped that was simply because they were both on the same page about things. Now though she was coming to see that very likely wasn’t actually the case.

Entering his office, she hesitates for a moment in the doorway with her hands shoved deep into her jacket pockets before stepping fully inside and letting the door close behind her. “We need to talk,” she starts, already feeling like she’s about to throw up. This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have - there were too many possible outcomes she had no desire of hearing. But the gnawing in her stomach wasn’t going away until she knew exactly what was going on. “Are you sleeping with other women?” As soon as she blurted that one question out, Lilah regretted it, feeling as if though she could have phrased it so much better. Her hands come out of the jacket and cover her face for a moment as she internally screams over how much she hates this before dropping back to her side. “I mean, well, I know we’ve never discussed what was going on between us, what we are to each other - and I told myself that was fine. That I was okay with it because I thought – I thought you felt the same way and didn’t need to discuss it outright and exactly… But now I need to know. I need to know where we stand. Where I stand.”

[ladylilah]

Everything from the moment her head had first hit the wall was a blur. She remembered hearing a scream, and a vague shape of a girl trying to interject herself… but try as she might that was all she could recall. Certainly something else had gone down, it always did whenever Tramp was involved, but what had happened she was completely unaware. It’s not until she hears a familiar voice that she remembers telling the person that had checked in on her before to find James, rather than the usual Colin. With everything that had gone down lately between herself and Hopper - she refused to give him any more reason to pity her or feel obligated to stay by her side simply because of her maniac of an ex-husband, when it was no longer what he wanted. For as stubborn as she was, Lilah could recognize she was on the brink of death right now and refusing help all together wasn’t an option, no matter how much she didn’t want anything getting involved. So Hook it had been. Though, how long it took for the man to get to her, she couldn’t tell. The only thing she could keep track of was the pain bursting through nearly every ounce of her body and the attempts someone nearby was making to keep her conscious.

At the feeling of hands on her face again, she lets out a groan involuntarily and forces her eyes to open once more. “Ja - James,” she slurs out, unable to say anything more than that. As he lifts her up from the ground, a small whimper escapes her as she closes her eyes tight against the pain and dizziness that came with the movement. It’s necessary, she knows somewhere in the back of her mind, but all she really wants to is to be left alone, to fall asleep right where she was and let herself drift away from everything around her. But instead she huddles into herself, curling against the arms holding her up and carrying her, praying that this would just be over soon.

- timeskip to new years eve -

༝༝ 🏴‍☠️ ༝༝

It had all happened so fast, too fast for his liking. One moment he is watching Oliver with his latest project which was seemingly going well thus far. That was until it was brought to his attention that Lilah had been hurt and within seconds he was pushing through bodies to reach her in time. He didn't bother asking any questions or even sticking around long enough to hear anything else, needing to know nothing more than James needed to get to her. Once in the courtyard, he searched for any sign of her location before falling on the spot where it all went down and went to her aid. A hand took her cheek to ensure she was still with them though the same thief had stolen the brightness in her eyes. "I'd kill him if someone hadn't beaten me to it," he muttered beneath his breath, gathering her into his arms so as to not make her exert any extra energy walking. "I'm going to get you somewhere safe where we can get you help." Hospitals were out of the question there was too much to explain that they wouldn't have answers to. "You're going to be fine, just stay with me, alright?"

[ladylilah]

closed starter for @scamperoo location: deare household, thanksgiving dinner

The evening had wrapped up fairly nicely, and Lilah was getting ready to face the daunting task of cleaning everything up and facing the loneliness she knew would start to sink in as soon as all of her children were gone - but it seemed like the eldest of her kids had a different plan for her. Ellie had already left and the other girls were already upstairs in their room, so she had just assumed that Scamp would have taken off as well. Yet here he was, packing away leftovers in the kitchen like this was something he did every year. “Sammy, you know you don’t have to do that,” she reminds him, moving closer to take the tupperware out of his hands and set it down on the counter in front of them. It was sweet and heartwarming that he wanted to help, but she knew he had better things to do than worry about any of this. “Unless you were just going to pack some for yourself to take, in which case go right on ahead. Though, I already have two plates worth of food packed for Dom and Zarina that I wanted you to take to them, so don’t worry about getting anything for them.” Before they’d even started eating she had set those portions aside, feeling fairly confident she’d have enough leftovers anyway for Scamp’s housemates to have but still not wanting to take the risk of something running out.

Moving to get to the fridge and pulling out the big container that held both of their wrapped up plates, Lilah set it down on an empty space of counter and gave it a little tap for flourishment. “And if you want anything for Angelica, take that as well,” she suggests, having accounted for the blonde as well when she had decided on her portion sizes of everything. “I just wasn’t sure what she’d want after eating with her own family.” It was like cooking for a small army, the amount of people she had on her list of potentially needing to feed this holiday, but Lilah wouldn’t have it any other way. She was a mother after all, and not just for her biological children but for anyone that had any intertwinement in her life - it just came natural to her to provide for them all.

[ladylilah]

Her youngest daughter leaving the party early to head back to her room was a fairly normal occurrence on nights like this, but unlike in the past Lilah knew this time she wasn’t sneaking off to go call her boyfriend instead of spending time with the family. In fact, it was likely because of said boyfriend, now ex, that Colette had run off in the first place. Their latest breakup was still a fresh wound, and though she didn’t know all the details of what happened it was clear that this time hadn’t been as casual as the others. The younger girl currently stowed away upstairs was very obviously hurt and upset. Which was why despite the fact that she knew it likely wouldn’t end well for her, Lilah followed a few minutes after her departure, motherly instincts to ensure her daughter was okay outweighing the knowledge she had that Colette likely wanted nothing to do with her right now.

Knocking on the door, it’s not a surprise when she doesn’t get an answer, but she still peaks her head in and enters anyway. Before she even has a chance to ask if she’s doing alright, Colette is already speaking herself - a rarity, considering how much she seems to hate having even the most simple of conversations with her mother. And while normally, under other circumstances, Lilah likely would have tried to talk her into coming back down and being present with the family - she knew that right now that would likely only do more harm than good. So instead she takes a few steps forward and moves to cautiously sit on the edge of the bed, not yet touching the younger girl, but still letting her presence be known and there. “Okay,” she agrees. “I can text you when it’s starting to wrap up. Your sisters are planning on staying here tonight, I believe, but I’ll make sure to let you know when Sammy’s getting ready to leave.”

-timeskip to thanksgiving-

It should not have been much of a surprise that Colette had made the escape to her room during festivities. Even if she was in a better place with a couple of siblings now, it didn't matter since there simply wasn't a wanting to engage under circumstances that didn't lead with a cranky response. She found herself doing a favor to both herself and everyone else that she step aside for the rest of the night. It might've been rude but that was never really a concern of hers, much to the dismay of others such as her ex-boyfriend. Her room wasn't too much of a comfort considering how many memories of Sam still remained fresh in her mind. His physical items had been returned thankfully, the sight of them only made her angry, but it was the recollection of him smiling in just about every single corner of her room that was what really brought her mood down.

Not even distracting herself with her phone was that great of an idea, she would be too tempted to check Sam's social media or look through her recently deleted folder to find all the photos of him in there. Instead, she laid on top of her bed, blankly staring at a spot on her wall, somewhere that she couldn't possibly think of Sam but still inexplicably brought tears to her eyes regardless. A knock on her door could have come from anyone so she made sure to quickly wipe away any evidence that she could have been crying. Seeing that it was only her mom, she became less defensive as to why someone thought they could just enter her room. "I'm not up for talking to everyone right now," She explained, wanting to get her excuse in before her mom could even ask why she wasn't downstairs probably playing charades with her siblings or whatever stupid thing they thought was fun. Her sniffles were few but evident, Colette could only hope that if she talked more she didn't have to talk about why she was crying. "Just let me stay here, please. I can go back down to say goodbyes but I don't think I can, like, do the whole being there thing."

[ladylilah]

mother and daughter holidays featuring @darlingdeare

With everyone either gone for the night or hiding upstairs in their bedroom, Lilah found herself facing the hardest part of the holidays - the aftermath of it all. Dinner had been amazing, honestly one of the best ones the family had shared in years, but now here she stood in her kitchen, surrounded by all the leftovers she was slowly working on packaging up and putting away, completely alone. It’s not as if this is anything new for her, given that it’s been years since her divorce of her husband, but that doesn’t ever make it any easier. It also doesn’t help that even when Tristan had been around, the disgusting pit of despair and loneliness had almost always still been present, no matter how hard she had attempted to ignore it. None of this was anything she ever shared with anyone in her life, certainly not her children, but it was always just… there. A part of her rooted so deeply in her psyche that she didn’t think anything or anyone would ever be able to change it.

It was only starting to bubble up when the sound of the doorbell rings through the house and suddenly that loneliness is instantly replaced with a different pit in her stomach. Because she knows who’s likely waiting on the other side of that door and she also knows that ignoring it would do her no good - he’d simply find another way in. And she was tired of having to get her windows fixed, which was what sparked her to simply face the inevitable. Only instead of her ex-husband standing there, she’s met first with the sight of her mother. It’s such a shock that it takes her a moment to realize that Tristan is indeed also standing just a few feet behind Darlene, hands stuffed in his pocket and face full of false innocence.

“What are you doing here?” she demands as she steps out into the cold air, closing the door tight behind her and standing in the way to block either of them from even considering entering the house. Whatever the hell was about to happen, Lilah didn’t want it coming anywhere near the kids upstairs or even just the general vicinity of her home.

Staring at her daughter, Darlene only scoffs and shakes her head at the dramatic antics, but she does accept that this will be happening outdoors. It’s ridiculous and makes her wonder where she had gone wrong in raising the girl, but she knows better to push on this issue. She’d learned long ago the importance of picking and choosing which battles to put a full fight into winning, and that was exactly what she was here to do. “It’s Thanksgiving, Delilah. And your husband had to spend it with your father and myself, instead of you and his children - his family. And I won’t stand by it. He deserves at least a moment to share with you during the holidays.”

For the first time in his life Tramp remains silent, letting this fight be between Lilah and her mother, at least for the time being. Maybe he should be ashamed, that he had felt the need to get Darlene involved, to have her with him just so he could fully get his ex-wife’s attention, but it seemed like the best way to maybe get her to finally make her listen. After all, it had been the Deares that had convinced Lilah to stay with him all those years ago when she had first wanted to separate - maybe they could work their magic again.

It took a brief second for Lilah to find herself, and in that hesitation her mother continued on, not letting her have even a moment to respond or argue. “Honestly, it’s getting ridiculous, dear. This independent woman thing has gone on long enough. I let it slide when you were still at least allowing Tristan to be a part of your family, but this is beyond what I can accept. You are being a child, throwing away your life like this. This is the man that you chose, that you married, and you cannot continue running away from that. All he wants is to be with you, with his children, his family - and you are shunning him out and treating him like some kind of monster all because of a few mistakes. Heavens knows you have made plenty of those in your life, nearly everything you’ve done has been some kind of error or unthought through spur of the moment decision. Well, it’s time you start living with the consequences of those choices. And that means having Tristan in your life, whether you like it not - he is yours. Now please, move aside and let us in, where we can discuss this like civilized human beings.” The unspoken instead of standing on the porch like trash hangs in the air.

“Mother, you need to leave,” is all that Lilah responds with, using every ounce of self control she has to keep her cool and not blow up right for all of the neighborhood to hear. This isn’t a new conversation between the two, but it’s the first time it’s ever occurred in front of Trisan or so close for one of her children to potentially hear, which makes it feel all the more dangerous.

Taking a step forward and attempting to reach beyond her daughter, to push and force her way inside despite the protests, Darlene stumbles and nearly falls at the quick movement Lilah makes to push her aside and distinctly refuse to let her come any closer towards the door. “Now this is ridiculous,” she gasps, ready to go on into another speech and attempt to enter only to be stopped once more as the younger woman grabs her wrist and holds it tightly for a moment as she herself speaks up.

“What’s ridiculous, mother, is you thinking you have any right to show up here. To bring him anywhere near me. After all of these years, all the lies and abuse - yes, mother, abuse. Because that’s what it was. What it continues to be. Physical, mental, emotional abuse. Years of it. And I am done. My children are done. This family is done.” Darlene lets out a scoff at her words, which only fuels the fire burning within Lilah. “Enough! Mother, you are not welcome here. He is not welcome here.”

Yanking her arm out of her daughter��s hold, Darlene steps closer and points a perfectly manicured finger right in Lilah’s face, eyes blazing as well in such a similar manner that left no mistake that these two were indeed mother and daughter. “And that is what you chose! If it was abuse, then darling, it was your own fault. You picked this man to be your partner - to father your children, to be your husband. Those were all your own choices. Everything that came along with it was exactly what you had asked for in life.”

“I didn’t ask for any of this,” the words came out of her mouth in a scream this time, loud enough for anyone nearby to hear. It’s the first time that Lilah has ever lost her temper so openly and freely. “I didn’t choose him - I didn’t want him. You wanted him, mother. You convinced and pressured me that I had no other choice. Every time I came to you looking for help, begging for you to take my side, to believe and love me more than your fucking reputation - you pushed me back. You kept me held down under his thumb just as much as he ever did.”

Shaking heads as Darlene refused to accept any sort of blame for anything in her daughter’s life. “No, no. You chose to sleep with him, to get knocked up. You chose –” the thought is never finished, instead interrupted by a scream of frustration and pure anger from Lilah.

“Enough, mother!! You need to leave. I am not hearing anymore. I am not getting back together with Tristan, I am not listening to a word you have to say. And if you do not leave right now, I will call the police. I’ll order a restraining order against you and make sure that every single soul at the club knows about it. Leave now and never come back, or I will fuck up your precious little life just as much as he as fucked up mine.” It’s harsher than anything she’s ever threatened her mother with and as Darlene stares at her daughter, she knows that it’s far from an empty promise. And it’s only that fear, that sinking feeling of dread filling her stomach, that has her turning and grabbing Tristan’s arm to pull him back towards her car parked in front of the house.

It’s not until the two are long gone, completely out of sight, that the fire inside of Lilah begins to fade, leaving her with a hollow and numbing feeling as she sinks to the ground. A handful of moments pass as she remains right in that spot, sitting on the concrete of her front porch for perhaps one minute, maybe an hour, she’s unsure. The sound of someone moving around inside is what finally snaps her out of her blurry blank staring out at the grass and sparks her to stand, wiping at her eyes in a halfhearted attempt to hide any evidence of what had just happened before she returns to her life, to whichever kid had finally emerged from their room. It’s far easier than it should be, putting the mask of feeling perfectly fine as she steps into the house, but then again - this certainly isn’t her first rodeo in having to hide her true feelings and self from everyone around her. And it very likely would be far from her last.

[ladylilah]

This had once been her favorite time of year, back when the kids were young and she had mastered the ability of pretending like everything in her life was fine and perfect. Back before it had all blown up in her face so spectacularly. This was a time of year for family and loved ones, and heavens knew how important both of those things were to Delilah Deare. Nothing on this Earth mattered to her more than the handful of people she had allowed into her heart. Which is why despite the shit show that has been her life these past two years, she’s determined to put it all to rest for just one night. To force time to still, or even reverse to back before it’d all gone to hell, just for one fucking night. That was all she asked for this year - the only wish on her Christmas list.

Which was why it meant so much to her that Colin actually agreed to attend, even if just for a short period. This wasn’t an event that would give him any political or power gain, no business would be discussed, but he was still here - taking the time for her and the family, all that she could have asked for. Stepping outside after opening to door to find him standing there, Lilah instinctively slipped her hand through his arm, wanting to share a moment with just him before they entered the festivities. It also allowed him the time to finish his cigarette before heading inside. “Thank you. Sammy actually helped put up most of the lights, but everything inside was done by us girls,” she admitted with a soft smile. It had been nice, decorating their home for the season all together on Thanksgiving, an old tradition that had gotten a bit lost over the years. It’s not a surprise when Colin gives a time limit to his time here, though she does silently wish it weren’t the case. But he had his business to attend to and she was determined to not be that girl that tried to hold him back, knowing there was nothing that could ever honestly keep Colin Hopper from going after and doing what he wanted or thought needed done. “Okay. We’re just happy you’re here for now. Thank you, by the way, for coming tonight. I know this type of party isn’t your style, but it means a lot ot me that you’re here.”

-timeskip-

The opening of the borders only meant more work for Hopper. Rest was a luxury he couldn’t afford. The relentless demands of his trade and the ever-present dangers it posed to his life—and his family—left no room for pause. Stopping wasn’t an option; it would only invite greater peril.

Even after the devastating loss of Annette's child, a family he had hoped to call his kin, Hopper pressed on. The business and the violence it brought were inseparable, and abandoning either felt like abandoning his family. He knew everyone around him was stretched thin, yet the best solace he could offer was his presence. That’s why, despite his disdain for celebrations, he agreed to attend the party Lilah had begged him to join.

Standing in the doorway, a cigarette in one hand, he exhaled into the crisp night air. The cold bit at his skin, a sharp contrast to the warmth of Lilah’s hand as it slipped through his arm. "You’ve decorated the place nicely," he said, his eyes fixed on some distant point beyond the horizon.

Hopper could only hope there was some semblance of peace in Lilah’s life—if not now, then someday. Yet, they both knew that peace wasn’t a card in his deck. This evening was nothing more than a fleeting reprieve, a brief illusion of tranquility. “I’m leaving in a few hours,” he added, breaking the silence. “Meeting an Italian mafia.”

[ladylilah]

Though she felt it certainly was needed to apologize, her mess of a life always seeming to bleed into those of everyone around her now matter how hard she tried to keep it all under tight wraps, Lilah knew better than to argue with him on it. So instead she simply smiled, ducking her head ever so slightly as she does so out of a bit of embarrassment at needing to always be rescued. “Well, thank you for that. And I’m always here for you too, even if you probably will never actually need me,” she returns the sentiment, adding a bit of teasing on the end to try to make it seem more casual.

A soft but dry and humorless laugh escapes her at his own apology, one that was absolutely without a doubt unnecessary to be offered. “It’s my own fault, not anyone else’s. I made my life choices and now I must deal with their consequences,” she states simply, the exact way of thinking her parents had instilled in her ever since she had first confided in them about Tristan’s abuse. He was the man she had chosen to marry, to stay with and put up with his bullshit for so long, then to eventually leave and finally put in a shallow, pointless grave. All of this had been brought upon herself, something she sadly believed to be the honest truth despite the fact that it was the exact opposite of what she would have told any of her clients or other victims of similar situations. Her hand came to lightly sit atop of his own upon her shoulder, returning the squeeze with a gentle one of her one. “I know. And that’s all I can really ask for anyone. I don’t know if anything will be enough to ever really put a stop to him.” At least it was beginning to feel like. Her hope of finding a way to officially get her ex-husband out of her life lessening each and every week. There had been a brief stretch of a solid lead a few months ago that had Lilah actually thinking things might turn around, but that had been fading the longer it took to ever hear back.

༝༝ 🏴‍☠️ ༝༝

It wasn't his place to hold her after a run-in with her sad excuse for an ex-husband, but Hook had been glad it could be for right now. Whatever she needed from him, the man would offer tenfold. Though rare that the James Hook ever made attachments his affection for the woman in his arms was undeniable. Still, knowing well that this was as far as their relationship would go anymore, he found comfort in her presence nonetheless. All he wanted to be certain of now was that she felt the same when it came to knowing Tristan wouldn't be able to lay a hand on her with James around. "You don't need to apologize, Lilah," he said assertively to show his sincerity. "I am always here for you." While the words were simple to say the man meant every word.

James hadn't been surprised to hear that her ex had flown off the handle, his emotions being anything but predictable. "Of course, he never knows what he wants. I'm just sorry he's picked you to terrorize." Their marriage had certainly seemed to unravel as did Tristan's lies. It wasn't that Hook was all that innocent, his prosthetic hand to prove it, but he knew for certain he wouldn't treat a woman that way. Lilah in particular was unlike any he'd met before and the thought of how she'd been treated made him want to make sure next time Tristan went to a grave, he stayed there. "It isn't want you want but I can send my very best after him," he half-smiled hoping she saw the care behind the words. "If there's anything I can do, never hesitate to ask." James squeezed her shoulder with his hand since even when he tried he was drawn to her like a magnet. "At least for tonight I can promise you he won't get within ten feet of you."

[ladylilah]

As Colette explained the attempts she’s made so far at trying to find an open room or a roommate that would be willing to join her in trying to find a new place, her head nodded along and her smile remained. Or at least, it did until Sam’s name was brought up. It wasn’t that Lilah disliked her youngest daughter’s boyfriend, quite the opposite actually - she loved the boy and was ready to welcome him into the family as easily as she had any of her other children’s past partners. But… well, with how off and on they had been and the way that she had seen her daughter treat him over the past year just from a far… Lilah was hesitant to encourage the two moving in together. Even if this latest on period was going fairly well so far, she knew how quickly that could change - and being stuck in the same home, in a lease that had them both locked into living there… well, that would only just complicate things.

It was a risky move though, bringing any of that up to Colette, especially when it seemed like for once they were actually getting along. But Lilah couldn’t sit back and not express those doubts, feeling the need to look out for her daughter in any way she can - even if the younger girl may not appreciate it. “Are you sure moving in with Sam would be such a good idea, dear?” she poses the question hesitantly, frowning ever so slightly as she continues to explain herself before she can be cut off with an annoyed remark. “I just mean, well, you two haven’t been together that long. And it’s a big commitment - especially if you both signed onto the lease. It may make things… slightly complicated in the future.” She doesn’t say when they break up, not aloud, but the sentiment hangs clearly in the air between them. “I’m sure you could find someone normal easily enough. You don’t need to rush this either, you’re always welcome here as long as you need or want.”

A smile was trying very hard not be held back but Colette didn't want her mom to know she was happy with the compliment, even though it was exactly the reaction she'd hoped to get from everyone she'd told. The acknowledgment of her accomplishment felt different coming from her though, she usually dismissed a lot of things before they'd even left her mouth. Hearing something that mattered to her left her with a weird sensation that she was unsure what to do with. She knew she should probably give a thanks in return or maybe even let her fighting smile be free to say what she couldn't but there was a hesitance to do so.

"Well, I was asking around my friends but no one has any spare rooms or if they do, it's like the size of a closet. Davina was looking around but I asked too late so they ended up finding someone else to move in. And ideally if I was going to go around looking for a new place, I would want Sam to move in with me but his stupid friends wouldn't let him. Like he needs permission from them for some reason." Her annoyance with the Lost Boys was enough to have her going on a tangent for the rest of the night but that was off topic. Colette simply collected herself before she got too upset and ceased her frustration with an exasperated sigh. It was the first breath she'd taken after her one speedy go at explaining the effort she'd put in so far. "I just don't want to have to move in with anyone weird."

[ladylilah]

Being pulled into his embrace was exactly what Lilah needed, her body relaxing ever so slightly at the physical touch and comfort that being by his side brought. A deep breath escapes her and she nods her head a few times at his words. She was safe. Tristan may be a loose canon, a wildcard that could rarely if ever be predicted, but he wasn’t stupid. At least, not enough to bother her now that she had found refuge. And she could just hope that knowing he was now on James’s radar would be enough to keep him away for the rest of the night, even when they separate. “Thank you,” she breathes out, feeling equal parts relieved and also embarrassed about the entire situation. Smoothing down her dress, she offers another slightly tense smile. His step backward to put a bit of distance between them was probably for the best, but she couldn’t help the small spark of disappointment at losing his touch.

“Sorry. For bombarding you like that,” she apologizes sheepishly, glancing back over at the dance floor for a moment just to ensure Tristan wasn’t nearby before returning her attention to James. The question of whether she was hurt was sadly a necessary one, considering her past with her ex-husband, but thankfully hadn’t been the case this particular evening. “I’m fine. He didn’t do anything, but I didn’t want to offer him the opportunity to change that. He goes from thinking he’s still in love with me in one breath to wanting me dead in the next.” There were angry red marks on her arms that stated different than what Lilah actually said, but simply being held too tightly by the man hardly counted as anything of note in her mind anymore. That was simply a part of any interaction with Tramp that didn’t go the way he wanted.

༝༝ 🏴‍☠️ ༝༝

James hadn't really wanted to come to this thing, having never been one for parties himself but it was the fact he needn't worry about the flying boy's presence that convinced him. After all this time, there was a sense of freedom he felt with the accomplishment that for now Pan had left the Isle and his band of misfits were on their own. It wasn't them that Hook had ever been worried about, even finding one of them far more powerful than Pan could ever be but that never changed their hierarchy. His costume wasn't much, a pirate being his go-to for these sorts of things since it was mostly compiled of pieces he already had. It was also the only day of the year that he was able to screw on a hook for a hand which was usually a bit too on the nose. He had lingered on the edges of the crowd, sticking to observation over conversation.

Faces he recognized came and went. None of which made him wish to strike up a conversation but one had caught his eye. Before James even had a chance to speak Lilah closed the space between them and her words filling him in on what exactly had brought the strain from her expression. Worry creased his features while listening to her explanation, his arm pulling her to his chest before she'd even finished. "Don't worry, you're safe now," the man assured her before releasing her to not overstep. That didn't mean he wouldn't be having a word with her deadbeat ex-husband after getting her settled after their encounter. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" His jaw tightened at the very thought, wanting to put his fist through the man's face before he'd even see it.

[ladylilah]

closed starter for @hooklinesinkr location: hotel transylvania halloween party

A single dance with her ex-husband had been more than enough for Lilah to be ready to full on simply leave, to return to her own home and curl up in bed to pretend like none of this ever happened. But leaving now would not only be letting Tristan win, it would also leave her far more vulnerable. Chances were high he would follow her and she was fully aware of that fact - which meant staying and simply praying that he didn’t approach her again was going to have to be enough. Fleeing from his arms, she hadn’t originally had a clue where she was going, eyes wide as she scanned the room in search of someone, anyone, that she knew to help her get away from Tramp. He was still watching her, ready to jump back in and claim her again, she could feel it. With a racing heart, Lilah moved throughout the crowd only stopping when she finally saw a familiar face - one that immediately had her breathing in relief.

It wasn’t how she wanted to keep meeting at events like this, on the run from her ex-husband, but what was she to do? There were very few people that Tramp knew better than to mess with and with Colin not attending this particular party, the list of options for a safe reprieve were quite slim. Luckily for her, James still remained firmly on that list - and it didn’t hurt that she had been meaning to find him at some point during the night. Moving right up to his side, one hand grabbed his arm while the other rested on his chest, her eyes still scanning the crowd in search of Tristan’s following figure. “Oh thank god,” she breathed out quietly in relief as she finally begins to relax ever so slightly. A small but still tense smile grows on her face as she looks up at the man she had all but ran right into. “Hi. I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to bombard you like this. Again. But do you, uhm, do you have a moment? Tristan’s here and I… I’d rather not have to face him again. One dance was more than enough.” She hoped it didn’t sound like she was only using him to get away from Tramp, but she could apologize for that once the man had finally gone away.