Gf: babe come over
Me: I'm eating garlic bread
Gf: I'm horny and my parents aren't home
Me: it's the kind that's covered in cheese
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HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE ᵍᵒˢʰ ᵈᵃᶰᵍ DOOR
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when you get annoyed by the sound of people eating
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Sdghghsldghwhgoghenksdglskjdg
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me: oh my god please let me concentrate for once
my shit brain: Ra Ra Rasputin. Russia’s Greatest Love Machine.
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no homo but that moment u step into a patch of sunlight and ur body had forgotten what it was like to feel warm.. im in love
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you ever been so stressed that youre calm
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