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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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Context for the title: Lao Wai 老外 means 'foreigner' in Chinese-Mandarin.

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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Chinese people love eating seeds - shell on. Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, sometimes they have flavors etc. It’s one of the clearest memories I’ve had growing up. My mom and dad would sit silently at the dining table after dinner with piles of dried and salted sunflower/pumpkin seeds and with their teeth, they would crack away at the shells and pick out the meat with their teeth. They were machines. Picking up seeds, de-shelling, chewing, throwing out shells, picking up new seeds, repeat. It was a mindless, mechanical motion, and I can so clearly hear the sound of the shells cracking between their teeth.

I was sitting drinking tea 喝茶 and eating 吃瓜子儿 seeds with my auntie when I took this picture. It was after our attempted conversation about living in China versus America. Before, both of our knowledge of the other side was very minimal. Our attempted conversation didn’t move the dial much. But I think this photo is perfect — it depicts both of us doing our best to pick apart the bits and pieces that are a part of our lives, parts that when collected together showcase a holistic truthful experience. Like the seeds, each aspect of our respective American and Chinese lives was something to unpack, something to crack and pick apart. To chew on and rub along the back of your mouth a bit and swallow. I forcibly pushed my Chinese through -- from the deepest pit of my stomach to try and paint pictures of my life -- but I could only get through so much.

We each picked and chewed our own seeds, not each others. Some made it across the border of the language barrier, others did not. The softer ones and the ones cooked more thoroughly provided a much more satisfying crunch for both of us. Not enough were broken apart in order to depict the fullness and complexity of existence in one country versus the next.

We didn’t finish all the sunflower seeds — there was a full flower left, seeds ready to be cracked open. We cracked through as much as our jaws and tongues could handle. Put them away for another day.

#journal

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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Old People

Today was a really great day with family. I’ve never spoken that much Mandarin let alone understood the Sichuan dialect. Everything is very chaotic (“renao”) and keeps you on your toes to keep up with, which is what I loved about being with these people. Not only were we there to support great-uncle Yi Gong, we indulged in the strong flavors of Sichuan and Chengdu together and loudly talk to each other and probably argue about something unnecessary. Drinking tea and eating snacks together while also talking about something loudly and something unnecessary. This is the family time that I’ve learned to cherish. I’ve never interacted with my elders in this way before. And i think back to why: why have I always let them in the dark and left our conversations purely to “I’m very full eating, thank you”. Why did I always feel shaken when I hear them scream talk directly in my ear. Why was I so opposed to how they go about their lives and how they act and how they are in their own home? Why I was not open-minded and just not simply dive right in when I had the opportunity, I don’t know. But now the opportunity tastes sweet and golden. Now the opportunity to spend time with these old people seems so precious and dear to me. I think cause I’m also now older, more people have begun to matter in my life. Funny how that works. I’m so grateful for the curiosity and opportunity to come visit my family, my blood line. I simply do not want to continue going forth building my life without knowing and communicating and connecting with and interacting with the lives and the people that came before me. I don’t have to know their story completely, but I have to at least know and have spent time with these people. And who are still continuing alongside me, going about their life, just in a different way. Jiujiu, Jiuma, Yidie, Yima, they are not old yet but they still are the branches and extensions and nuances of my family tree. And that is also super important to connect and interact with and support. They are a part of you, in the end. But also they are a part of the lives of the people that made you who you are. Those people, too, cannot be ignored or passed along. How can you appreciate your parents if you don’t fully know the people in their lives that they’ve interacted and cared for? It doesn’t have to be everyone, but you better make that effort.

I didn’t talk to my fellow old people about very serious things, but still things that kept up a conversation, and at least with the Mandarin that I knew and could string together. Things that at least showed that I showed interest and I wanted to connect with them and that we could be together and dwell and exist together. I made an effort to be human with them and know that in this part of the world, I have people who are rooting for me and who I can go back to. I have true roots here and they are made more and more real by more interactions I have with these people. It brings stronger sense of meaning when I come to this place, eat this food, speak this language… when I think of all of this. It’s the people that create connections to things for you, not the stuff itself. In a human society, the things we do and the things we have are important to us because, I believe, they are all interconnected and some how tied, in our minds and perceptions, to people. Humans are emotional, irrational people — we like things because of what it does for our people, and that is what I think to be a super important thing about existing on this planet and being a person! I am thankful that the time I spend with these old people is special. I hope that it also creates something special for them too, that the next time they hear an update about me in their life, a brighter light shines in their mind at the thought of it. A clearer picture of me pops in their head, despite their fading memories and slowing brains.

This is the power of conversation. Every word and phrase with intention creates more meaning and emotional connection from one person to another, from one thing to the next. Strong conversation can be the key-into-the-ignition for anything. You just have to know how to use it to create something positive with it.

So, cheers to old people.

#journal

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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My “Apples to Oranges” Comparison: “Xiao Long Bao to Oscar Meyer Weiner ”

I was asked a funny and complicated question. So complicated it’s funny. But not really cause I’m not laughing. So I guess it’s not funny.

I was with my auntie and some of the workers that had joined our barbecue dinner that night, and out popped the question: “Do you like America or China better?”

Well, I was born in America and have lived in America my whole life, ..no other choice suffices? Of course, it would be the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave and also the place where I can carry my guns and assault rifles around to shoot deer and schools of children—I mean … ducks. America. #DemocracyBitch #FreedomBitch

Here's my justified reason. From a macro-perspective, I love the vibrant presence of people and culture in this country. The people that make this place leave traces of their own ways, cultures, perspectives, thoughts, foods….. that can then be shared with their neighbors who possess other ways, cultures, perspectives, thoughts, foods….. These pockets of people congregate together to cling onto aspects of their identity and perhaps even, after increasing exposure to other kinds of people, adopt new ways, etc. for their own*

Proper connection with other people allows you to learn so much from the people next to you. Of course, it doesn’t happen 24/7, but that option is there because this mixed bag of people exist.

But don’t get me wrong, folks. There are things that I love about China too. I love how the flavors, the culture, how fast the country and people move, the history… I marvel at how it has consistently had elongated moments in history during which it has remained one of the biggest super powers in the entire world.

I didn’t tell them any of that actually. My mediocre Chinese couldn’t string together coherent sentences without having to confer with a translator dictionary every two seconds. So, instead, all I said was “My American life is pretty good. But if I live in China, my life will also be good, but it will just be a different life.

“我的美国生活挺好的。要是我在中国住，我也可以有一个很好的生活，但是就会是一个不一样的生活.”

Which I guess is good enough, but it feels somewhat of a defeat that I’m not able to pass anything along beyond this barrier and that there is no means through which I can pass a dead end like this.

#journal

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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Beautiful sunset behind the Helan Mountains feat. Latu qt bb dog

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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Man pulling worn out cart through streets bombarded with cars, trucks, pedestrians, bikers, and others like him.

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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The 70th Anniversary of the Communist Party of China CPC. 1949-2019.

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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inspired by taiwan streets

I love skyline and aerial views just as much as I love nose-to-the-ground level photos. I love photos of streets and the true life that happens at the bottom of these mini-universes. This one I love because of how many stores, businesses, establishments, and homes fit into this particular space I saw in Taiwan. You see the city and its people churning and churning and churning all day in order to keep its gears oiled and productive. Different parts of the city “churn” different things and it’s interesting to observe the complex level of interconnectivity: e.g. businessmen doing business-y business things with businessmen in the same country, businessmen doing corporate-y corporate business with corporate people in other countries, restaurants feeding the white to blue collar workers, etc. The patterns of “purchase, profit, save” on constant repeat throughout every moment of someone’s lives.

#journal

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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Why middle-aged Chinese women are obsessed with Coach bags. This lady travelled all the way to Vancouver and bought 3 Coach totes and 1 scarf. My mom got her a bag from the U.S. this time around cause it was cheaper and this lady has spent 30 minutes talking about how much money she saved with this bag. This is the highlight of their dinner conversation.

#thoughtbubbles

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laowaisays-hello · 5 years

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