lastguardianofpulse-blog

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

I'm so seriously sick of this Victim Blaming and I'm just gonna throw this out there.

Warning: The following rant contains trigger words and discusses the issue of rape, robbery and abuse of drugs/alcohol.

So, I couldn't help but notice that, when a crime happens, especially rape, there seems to be Victim Blaming. In fact, it's RAMPANT. For anyone that doesn't know what that is or is confused it's the idea that someone was wronged because of something they did. That case could be... Your house was robbed, because you didn't lock the front door. A woman was attacked because she was out at night by herself. That's victim blaming. Accusing someone of being at fault for a crime someone else committed against them.

IT HAS TO STOP! 

If I hear one more person, 'She got drunk at a party/She dresses like a whore/She flirts with guys/She was out at night- what did she think was going to happen?' I'm going to seriously lose my shit. Let's analyze that idea for a moment. What DID she think would happen? Probably something along the lines of I'm going to go out and have a few drinks with my friends, maybe sleep it off on their couch so I don't drive home drunk or pay for a cab.

That could have happened.. Instead, she was assaulted while she was unconscious. Is that her fault, no. The attacker of course is to blame. Sadly that's often not the case...There's a general idea in this society that women have the responsibility of stopping or preventing rape and assaults by avoiding situations. It's up to us to not get raped, not up to the attackers NOT TO RAPE SOMEONE. 

It makes me sick that so many times, women come forward (when so often they don't) and it's actually legal for the most state courts to consider whether the woman was 'asking for it'. Even then, when juveniles do it, people are asking for lenient sentencing because of 'their potential' and sympathizing with attackers blaming the victim for putting herself there in the first place. What was she doing wearing that to a party around boys and getting drunk?

I'm surprised that more men aren't offended by this idea. In short, every single man out there is a rapist. You just haven't found the right women in the right alley, or maybe so far they weren't drunk enough. You'd rape her, but her clothes aren't slutty enough for her to ask for it. Deep down, that's what people are saying. They were nice boys, got good grades, played football until the day that girl passed out on the couch. 

How dare she. What were those boys supposed to do? Walk away? From a young passed out girl? Let's take a moment a list a few things they could have done instead.... Gone home. Left the room. Left the house. Gone to IHOP. They could have picked up a fucking finger painting hobby.. the list is virtually endless. So why was she to blame again?

Imagine that same Victim Blaming ideal in other situations and let's see if it makes sense...

I'm a recovering alcoholic, until I went to a friends house and went to get a coke out of his fridge. There was beer there. Just sitting there. He didn't offer it to me, he didn't say I could have it, in fact, he told me not to drink it. But it was there, I had too. If it wasn't for him, I'd still be on the wagon. 

I'm recovering from drug abuse. I was doing great, but I went to my mothers house to help her after her surgery. She had pain medication on her bedside table. How dare she. Putting it there, knowing that I can't help myself. Of course I took some. She should know better. 

Your first though might be, 'they have a predisposition for these problems' or a history of the behavior. But by Victim Blaming, assuming that the crime would not have happened had the victim not brought up the situation, you are implying that there was a predisposition there for the attacker, they just needed opportunity. Had the victim not been in that place, done what they did, or made themselves vulnerable, it would have never happened. 

IT NEEDS TO STOP. People are afraid to come forward with crimes like muggings, robberies, rape and assault because people are blaming them! It's up to you to lock your doors, NOT THE ROBBERS TO LEAVE YOUR SHIT ALONE.

I should be able to go out at night. I shouldn't have to dress in pants and a turtle neck year round. Ideally I should be able to forget once in a while to lock my car door or my front door. We don't live in a perfect society, so I can't. 

Don't EVER blame the wrong doing on the person that was wronged. Criminals commit crimes on their own by their own choosing. I walk down the street everyday and never think to mug, murder or assault.

They can too.

We cannot encourage the shaming of these victims. We have to support them and remind them that they are doing the right thing by coming forward! Only after we erase Victim Blaming will we ever see the true numbers of crime and put away those who commit them. 

For anyone out there, that has ever been a victim of crime.

It is not your fault. Find help! Because no on deserves to be a victim. 

No one 'asks' to be one either.

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Family man. Noel smiled, "I am a family man." He never minded being referred to as that but he wondered if anyone else felt that he was going soft as a hunter because of it. "I still try to keep in shape. That's why I'm interesting in going out. Maybe a little reassurance that I still got it in me will help." Copy Bunny. Seems fitting if it could mimic. The hunter smirked, not saying anything. By mimic he assumed it was like a bird, just copying words and phrases, and not actual replica voices. "Well a talking rabbit certainly is rather special isn't it. I'll have to check him out. Maybe when he makes a litter I'll snatch one up for Ceodore." 

He could understand the sentiment for his weapons. Noels used to hold a special meaning to him too. Things change. When Caius betrayed and left them, the weapons he had seemed meaningless. He hoped Zig wouldn't know what that was like. His new sword however, Odinblade, was given to him by Hope. It meant the world to him. He was happy to have them. "Just.. keep your swords safe. Weapons can wear, break or even be taken from you. Never forget what's behind them, that's what counts." 

Leave now? In honesty, Noel would have dashed at the chance. But he had to at least call and explain to Hope the situation. Just as well, he didn't have anything of use on him. "If you don't mind going back to my place just to grab a few things... Like a weapon. Right now my mightiest weapon is a credit card, which I doubt will do anyone any good in Gandoar." 

One of "Those Days" // Bro Kreiss

“Making sure! You’re a family man now; I doubt Hope would be happy letting you slice up animals in your apartment daily.” Hope struck him as close to a vegetarian as possible, making exceptions for his husband if he craved meat horribly. “Hase’s not all that fluffy actually. Why I like him is because Copy Bunnies are special: they can mimic people’s voices and he’s cute too. It’s fun to watch a fuzzy bunny talk like a dignified warrior.” Although, half the time Hase mimicked Noel to beg him for treats. Nosy bugger.

Zig nodded a few times to confirm Noel learned his lesson not to force a part between Zig’s swords and his person. They were a close part of him. One of his past, the other of his not-so distant future. “It’s hard to say— Old One is my father’s and it’s all I have of him anymore. Last One is the sword I used to save Ghandoar too. I’d be hallow without them.” He understood Noel’s point clearly; he didn’t exactly agree with it in the least. Without the past or future, what was the point of living? None.

“Thanks in advance. If you’re up to it now, we can get there before too dark.” There’d be less of a point of visiting Cantalera if Noel couldn’t see past his arms. “Alright. Thankfully they have all the time in the world, so don’t feel like you truly have to leave this second to meet them.” 

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

The ordeal went over much more smoothly the second time around. The hunter was grateful too. He wasn't good at dealing with kids Tsuki's age or girls of any age crying. If he wasn't sure what was wrong anyone crying threw him for a loop. 

He smiled, "You're welcome. I figure it's easier to have someone else do it once in a while. I don't mind. Just ask." 

A Meeting Between Fighters @Tsukinowa-of-the-wind

Tsukinowa was so happy, he sniffled and he held onto Noel, enjoying that he was given this chance to be given love… It was different than anything else.

“… Coud you… Do it again?” he asked, eyes pleading for that small treatment, it wasn’t much… but he liked it.

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Noel gladly obliged the kiss. He could never turn it down. It didn't help either that Hope was caressing his sides, sending small goosebumps up his back and his face started to feel warm. But first things first and that was food. For now, he leaned down and stole those lips for his own. It was hard to pull away, in fact he pressed even more and enveloped them into his own, caressing them slowly. 

At the end of the kiss, he smiled gently and reluctantly pulled away. He quickly found his coat and headed out into the night to put their date underway. Luckily the restaurant was just around the corner. The hostess offered a menu, but Noel knew what to order. After placing it, he took a seat and let his mind wander again to their children. Surely they were fine. Before long, he woman came back with a large brown bag for him to take home. 

He shivered slightly in the cold night, holding the bag close. As he made his way home, he wondered about his surprise. Hope was so much better at those than he ever was. With it being a special night, he could only imagine. The anticipation peaked as he unlocked the door, eager to see Hope once more.

Another date

Hands wandered along the firm sides of his lover. His fingertips pushed in tenderly to distract his lover from his thoughts of parenting. As stated before, Hope needed Noel and tonight, for one night he had him and Hope was sure that he would not let the other go. Call it desperation or desire, Hope missed Noel and the time they shared intimately before the kids. For one night he wanted that back.

Hope noticably swooned at the mention of food from their favourite restaurant, the same place they spent their first date. A smirk crossed his lips, an innocent smirk at that and he brushed his fleshy tips against the hunter’s hands. “I’d like that Noel… You always know what to pick me. I just want us to be tgether tonight. Yeah?” Hope stopped only to push himself against the hunter, their bodies pressed together and Hope hands found their way around the hunter’s waist.

“I’ll make sure to have a surprise for when you come back. Just kiss me before you go. I don’t want to have to wait before you taste my lips again.” He spoke with confidence, lust and love. he felt safe with Noel. So safe.

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

"Pfft.." Noel said, waving his hand. "I know how to skin an animal. Don't you worry about that!" He paused, Zig also had a pet. He was certainly surprising him even now. "A bunny? My son's boyfriend does the bunny thing. Let me guess, just like him, you can't resist the fluffy wuffy fur and the big beautiful eyes.." He chucked. The hunter curled up his hands and held them to his chest and mimicked poorly the jump of a rabbit from his chair. "Hippity Hop!" 

Noel was bopped on the head and he growled slightly. "Alright calm your swords I wasn't going to intentionally replace any treasures of yours. You can keep your swords they seem to do alright for you as Last Ranker. Gotta hold on to what you have. For the record though, even without them, you'd still be Zig. You are a person outside of your job. I hope you don't forget that. I worry you'll lose your identity to this rank." As off handed as the remark was, Noel really meant it. If Zig didn't find something of himself outside of Last Ranker, when or if he lost it, he may lose his mind. 

"I'd like to help. A hometown is an important place. It should be preserved." The question of visiting his parents came up and Noel felt strange about it. It seems even more personal, but like before, he didn't want to turn him down if he was opening up. "S-sure. I'd like that." 

One of "Those Days" // Bro Kreiss

“Meat might be the better option so long as you skin the animal right. Try not to eat a rabbit though; my pet rabbit Hase will pay you back for it.” Just for his spoiled child, Zig left out any sort of animal resembling a bunny from his diet. Mad Bull and Beast King meat was larger and better-tasting. “A few herbs ground into a bottle does the trick. And you might want to add reckless to your headline.”

Plan B…? How come he’d need a second plan? Either he quit when the time felt right or not. It couldn’t get more straight-forward. “I doubt I will. Hassle as the work can be, I love my position as Last Ranker. The limits are endless: the places I can go and activities I can do.” The ultimate freedom one could call it. “You can’t replace either of my swords. Old One’s my father’s sword and Last One’s made for the Last Ranker. Who else am I without them?” Zig bopped Noel on the head with his sheathed sword. No replacing a Ranker’s treasures.

Acting like he didn’t suddenly smack someone with a sword, Zig finished what was left of his glass, not bothering to order more yet. If they were sticking to the topic of homes, he wanted to have a clear mind to not drop weird or false information on Noel. “They could be if the wind and the snow have been kind to the tents. I’m sure you can find something wrong and contribute.” He could have the hunter go scavenge firewood for the bonfire in the center of Cantalera. Snow meant water, and water meant no fire. “And if it’s not too dark, we could visit my parents, Anna and Marius. You’d like my father and my mother’s nice too. Want to?” 

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

This is me super apologizing

Mostly for being a bad rp partner and being terribly inactive. There's a lot going on and a lot went on in the last month or so and I've tried to come back from it but it's not going so well. I'll save the explanation for a read more. In general, I'm sorry my writings been lacking and I'm sorry because I know I've made more than one empty promise of 'I'll RP with you tomorrow. I'll work on it soon.' and it never happened. 

I really do apologize. I've lost followers and I don't blame anyone. 

It really went downhill when my Grandpa Eddie passed away. I disappeared altogether for a while and kept the news within a small group. Like everyone else, I know people pass away, but I held a lot of unnecessary anger because I felt left out of the mourning process. My family went to California for his funeral so he could be buried with his family of course. However, because of my high risk pregnancy, I was told travelling was not safe. I missed it, and I hated myself. 

Eventually that passed, but by the time I got my head back into the game I realized that I was running out of time. As of today, I only have 8 weeks left in my pregnancy. Assuming I carry til my due date. It's not unusual for high risks to have problems and end up being induced early or even just going into labor early on their own. Doesn't help that this is my first baby and everyone says it could be two weeks early or two weeks late anyway. 

There's a lot going on in my head and in my body. Back aches, fatigue, confusing thoughts and all around terror just to name a few. Concentrating is just something that's hard for me. I'd love to say that I'll be jumping back in, but honestly I might take a while. One muse will work with me, another won't. My romance writing in general has been suffering like hell for weeks now. I'm trying some new threads to start something fresh and maybe get into the groove.

I know people struggle and I know that some will feel left out seeing me rp with some and not them. I'm trying. I don't know why some threads click and some threads don't. I don't know why I can't rp certain feelings. I don't even know why I keep forgetting to pack my fiance's lunch or keep leaving things in places that don't make sense. 

I swear though, that I'm going to try.

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

The hunter made his way into the kitchen and looked around. It seemed as though it had been pretty much unused for a while. Not that Riku's lack of eating didn't show on his body. It was an unsettling feeling. 

"Soup," he muttered as he went through the cabinets. Soup was water and Riku had that. A part of him wanted to cram a steak down his throat and give his body usable burnable energy. But.... baby steps. 

At least he would make something to go with the soup. He found some sandwich stuff that still looked good and was able to find soup that had more than broth. There were supposedly chicken chunks and noodles. It was better than nothing. Once the soup was hot he put it in a bowl and sliced the sandwich in half. Putting one half on each side. It was a rather nice presentation. 

He took it into the living room, setting it next to Riku. He had a sandwich for himself in hand. After a few bites he checked on Aurore, still sleeping. He felt strange, doing all these things for Hope, he joked they were housewife things, for Riku. But if it kept him from pushing himself in such a fragile state, he didn't mind. "You.. alright? I mean is there anything you need?"

Noel looked over Riku. He was miserable and there was no blaming him. Everyone took things differently. Each person had a weakness. One so strong it could cripple a person and break them. 

“You don’t look weak, because your not. You look like hell,” Noel said with a small smile. “You were put through it. The fact that you’re not dead says a lot about you and your will. No one could endure what you have and come out a stronger person, not right away…. You can mourn, and let it hurt because it’s going to. You just can’t do it forever.” 

Slowly he stood up, not seeing a cup anywhere. Baby steps. If he could help Riku with small things, Riku could start working his way to the bigger ones. “I’ll get you something to drink,” he whispered as he went into the kitchen, putting together a glass of cold water and bringing it back. 

His smile was growing stronger as he tried to make Riku feel at home. “Look I’m starving, why don’t I put something together for dinner. If you don’t mind, I’ll stay a while…” He wanted to stay for Riku, to help him a little at a time. 

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Noel looked over Riku. He was miserable and there was no blaming him. Everyone took things differently. Each person had a weakness. One so strong it could cripple a person and break them. 

"You don't look weak, because your not. You look like hell," Noel said with a small smile. "You were put through it. The fact that you're not dead says a lot about you and your will. No one could endure what you have and come out a stronger person, not right away.... You can mourn, and let it hurt because it's going to. You just can't do it forever." 

Slowly he stood up, not seeing a cup anywhere. Baby steps. If he could help Riku with small things, Riku could start working his way to the bigger ones. "I'll get you something to drink," he whispered as he went into the kitchen, putting together a glass of cold water and bringing it back. 

His smile was growing stronger as he tried to make Riku feel at home. "Look I'm starving, why don't I put something together for dinner. If you don't mind, I'll stay a while..." He wanted to stay for Riku, to help him a little at a time. 

Noel understood. Nervously, he nibbled on the end of his thumb and slowly pieced together his words, “I know it’s hard. You feel heavy. Your heart sinks… It’s a chore to do anything and you have to think to breathe.” He tried to smile, lighten things up, but his usually humor failed him and his lip started to quiver. 

“That’s the feeling of being alone. I felt it too. I never thought I’d see it here…. When you’re the only one, the last person left.. it starts to consume you. You’re legs are lead, your heart is slow to beat. I guess here, for you, even with the rest of the world outside these walls… It’s hard not to feel like it’s just you.” 

He didn’t know what to say. Nothing consoled him in his time alone. Everything was hopeless for him. Noel remembers leaving the village and walking. Wondering if he would find others, grass or just his death. It made no difference to him. Riku never did anything half assed. He gave Serah his all. It was honorable. She was a wonderful woman and deserved no less. But it also meant that when she left, she would take it all with her.

“I think… If I can find something to live for you can to. It just might not happen right away. You have try. It’s all you can do.” The hunter put his hand on Riku’s leg and just left it there. Maybe if someone had reached out and touched him, the interaction would have made him less lonely.

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

"Well I'll make mental note not to just... eat whatever is growing around the place. I'll check with you, or stick to meat." If the animals were safe.. Maybe Noel should pack food. "I'm not well known for carrying around what I need all the time and it'd be my luck I'd catch myself without an antidote of any kind. How terrible would that be- 'Muscular, handsome hunter dies eating bad fruit'. What a shame that would be." 

Noel nodded, "You can fight for as long as you'd like. You're stubborn like that so I know I can't say much to change your mind, but make room for Plan B. Just in case you change your mind. Maybe your boyfriend'll do that for you. Look at me, I never thought I'd end up here. You just can't tell. Either way, if you go crazy with old age first, I'll let you do as you please so long as the neighbors are safe. Don't be surprised if I replace your swords with wooden ones, not that it'll matter to you in your delirium," he said laughing. 

The remark confused Noel a little. You could always tell so much about a person by their home. What they valued, what they protected, how they treat themselves and their guests, whether or not they were organized. There was a wealth of knowledge in a home. Just the fact that Zig held on to his other home and his hometown, spoke volumes. Noel was often ashamed about his home, where he was from. It was a dark place, but he was starting to change his mind the more he talked to Zig. Maybe it was OK sometimes to bring people there, not that he could. "Well if everything's all fixed up already I won't push. It's your home, if you like the way it is, we'll keep it that way." Oh the things he would change if he could go back to his old home.

One of "Those Days" // Bro Kreiss

“So I’ve seen. You can’t hide those slits for faces on their hides. Gigantuars, I wonder if they even bother trying hiding themselves…” But killer running cacti weren’t the only deadly plants on Gran Pulse. Other plants could burn you, sting you, or go the Ghandoar way and beat the crap out of you. Always a fun time. “Sounds fun. Ghandoar’s plants stick to poison or weakening you, then beating the crap outta you. I wouldn’t advise eating them without an antidote on hand.” Some parts of them weren’t poisonous, but some… Nice knowing you.

Retiring didn’t really strike Zig’s fancy much. Noel did have a point where he couldn’t fight forever, but… It didn’t seem right to give up on the item he fought so hard for. “I could easily lose that life goal if I lost a battle to Harth or someone else. Letting myself go would be the worst mistake of my life. But I’m sure your assumption of me in my old age is pretty accurate.” He wouldn’t be attack people on his imaginary lawn, though you could count on him fighting even at seventy or higher. Defining part of his lifestyle.

“Good. I’ll make sure the day is cleared up for whenever you’re ready to show up. I’m not sure if you might learn much about me from the two homes I have, though you’re welcome to try.” Zig smiled at how Noel suddenly offered his help for no real reason. “I doubt there will be much to fix around there. Faz and I fixed all we could. If something isn’t right though, you can handle it. It shouldn’t be too much of a pain.” 

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Noel understood. Nervously, he nibbled on the end of his thumb and slowly pieced together his words, "I know it's hard. You feel heavy. Your heart sinks... It's a chore to do anything and you have to think to breathe." He tried to smile, lighten things up, but his usually humor failed him and his lip started to quiver. 

"That's the feeling of being alone. I felt it too. I never thought I'd see it here.... When you're the only one, the last person left.. it starts to consume you. You're legs are lead, your heart is slow to beat. I guess here, for you, even with the rest of the world outside these walls... It's hard not to feel like it's just you." 

He didn't know what to say. Nothing consoled him in his time alone. Everything was hopeless for him. Noel remembers leaving the village and walking. Wondering if he would find others, grass or just his death. It made no difference to him. Riku never did anything half assed. He gave Serah his all. It was honorable. She was a wonderful woman and deserved no less. But it also meant that when she left, she would take it all with her.

"I think... If I can find something to live for you can to. It just might not happen right away. You have try. It's all you can do." The hunter put his hand on Riku's leg and just left it there. Maybe if someone had reached out and touched him, the interaction would have made him less lonely.

“Everyone only has so much Riku. You’ve endured a lot. I know it’s hard… We’re here. You never have to be afraid to ask for help…” With Aurore was falling asleep, now was the time to set her down. He put her into the bassinet and rocked her gently til she doozed off. 

He walked over and sat down next to Riku, putting his hand on his leg. “Riku…” His brother in law looked terrible. “Don’t put this all on yourself… I know it doesn’t make anything right or better but… people perish. We’ve seen people leave our lives in some of the worst ways. But she left Aurore behind in your care. She trusted you with herself and her baby. You have to take care of yourself… She needs you.”

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Aha! I knew there was a Tumblr thing to block what you don't want to see. Just be sure you do the right thing and TAG IT APPROPRIATELY!! NSFW tag does no good if you don't tag it as such! 

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Aluminum foil keeps cats off counters. via TO

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

"Everyone only has so much Riku. You've endured a lot. I know it's hard... We're here. You never have to be afraid to ask for help..." With Aurore was falling asleep, now was the time to set her down. He put her into the bassinet and rocked her gently til she doozed off. 

He walked over and sat down next to Riku, putting his hand on his leg. "Riku..." His brother in law looked terrible. "Don't put this all on yourself... I know it doesn't make anything right or better but... people perish. We've seen people leave our lives in some of the worst ways. But she left Aurore behind in your care. She trusted you with herself and her baby. You have to take care of yourself... She needs you."

“Hey there….” Riku sighed rolling his head to glimpse at his visitor. “…Noel.”

He let his brother pick Aurore up. Perhaps she would be happier being smiled at and gushed over.

For his part he relaxed further into the ‘fortress’ of blankets and pillows that he had created on the couch, rolling slightly onto his side to watch Noel through bleary eyes. He tugged at the blanket a bit to cover up his shoulders and the trembling he was experiencing- partially from pain- but mostly from lack of nourishment and withdrawal.

“I’m not a good father Noel. I miss her too much.”

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

This is what me and Alex did today and last night.PENGUIN CUPCAKES! They're a little rough but we're proud of them. ;o; It was so much fun! I even took pictures of how I did it. XD

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Guys... I swear when I wake up and get on Tumblr, I have every intention of doing roleplays..

But I always end up like this

[lastguardianofpulse-blog]

Noels heart broke. Riku looked awful there was so much more wrong than he was letting on. For now, he took away the tiny weight of Aurore and hoped he could rest. Maybe with a chance to think, Noel could find what was wrong. 

"Y-you're not a bad father. You're just tired. Aurore is tiny and needs a lot of attention and... No one should have to do this alone. I came over to help for a while and make sure you.. have what you need. She seems well enough, all babies will fuss for one reason or another it's nothing. Look she's already calming down." 

She was. Noel had become an expert at rocking a baby. Looking down Serah's features were so plainly on her face. He couldn't blame Riku for being heart broken. Looking upon her was almost like looking onto her mother. Noel missed her too. "I know... that it's hard. You've lost her more than once. No one should ever have to do that.. but she's watching you. She knows you're struggling. I'm here and I want to help." 

“Hey there….” Riku sighed rolling his head to glimpse at his visitor. “…Noel.”

He let his brother pick Aurore up. Perhaps she would be happier being smiled at and gushed over.

For his part he relaxed further into the ‘fortress’ of blankets and pillows that he had created on the couch, rolling slightly onto his side to watch Noel through bleary eyes. He tugged at the blanket a bit to cover up his shoulders and the trembling he was experiencing- partially from pain- but mostly from lack of nourishment and withdrawal.

“I’m not a good father Noel. I miss her too much.”