lathal - Tumblr blog

[lathal]

This may be something I'll add to my rules soon just as a psa about myself because it's something I get self conscious about: I am very bad at saying or expressing when I am excited or enthusiastic about stuff or enjoy something unless I am *very* close to the person I'm talking to about it. Without going into detail, I grew up in a environment that taught us that we shouldn't enjoy or form emotional attachments to anything or anyone not directly related to the church/God, and so I had to repress it pretty far. It's something I'm working on, but just know that I am much more excited about stuff than I can sometimes seem.

This is also why I don't tend to participate in trends where people go around complimenting everyone else. It's not that I don't love and appreciate everyone, I am just bad at saying it.

[lathal]

Stolen glances, baited breath, ever so slight grazes of the skin, and conversations that do everything to avoid the voracious need to consume will do more for me than blatant flirting will EVERY time.

[lathal]

WHICH SYMBOLIC FRUIT ARE YOU?

Clementine

In Chinese culture, clementines, known for their bright orange, waxy exterior, were symbolic of gold, and by extension, wealth, good fortune and abundance. Trees that bear clementines (or mandarins, as they're also known as) are often used to decorate the thresholds of Chinese households as a sign of good luck and prosperity. As lucky as Clementines may be, so are you and those around you. With a sunny disposition, and a knack for seeing the best in everyone, and the good in the world around you, you're someone who believes that the glass is always half full. Things can always be worse, and they will always get better, one way or another! Like the vibrant clementines you're known for bringing light to those who need it, and always bringing laughter to your friend group. However, such a bright exterior can sometimes hide a deep and lingering sadness. Remember: even the light sometimes has to dim, and even the sun has to set. Don't worry; it'll always come back.

I stole it and you should, too.

[lathal]

*  ―  VAMPIRIC STARTER PROMPTS .  

* tw for mentions of blood / drinking blood / death + murder .

Human. 

❝ that’s a lot of blood. ❞

❝ so you drink [human] blood ? ❞

❝ how long has it been since you fed ? ❞

❝ bite me. ❞

❝ you just bit me ! ❞

❝  i don’t believe in vampires. ❞

❝ i want to be your familiar. ❞ 

❝ can you turn in to a bat ? ❞

❝ you don’t have a reflection ! ❞

❝ so do you sleep in a coffin ? ❞

❝ you’re gonna need a bigger coffin. ❞

❝ so, how old are you really ? ❞

❝ your skin’s always so cold. ❞

❝ if you need to feed, you can bite me. ❞

❝ you can bite me, i trust you. ❞ 

❝ what does it taste like ? / what do i taste like ? ❞

❝ you’re [not] a monster. ❞

Vampire.

❝ drink this, you’ll feel better. ❞

❝ i’m [not] a monster. ❞

❝ i haven’t fed in awhile. ❞

❝ it’s dangerous for you to be here when i’m like this. ❞

❝ i want you to be my familiar. ❞

❝ forget what you think you know, vampires exist. ❞

❝ no, that’s a myth. ❞

❝ i’m not going to eat you. ❞

❝ you call it a myth, i call it a bad stereotype. ❞

❝ your taste so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞

❝ your blood smells so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞ 

❝ it’s been awhile since i tasted fresh blood. ❞

❝ you’re so warm. / i forgot how warm living is. ❞

❝ you have to invite me in. ❞

❝ i think i just killed someone. ❞

❝ honestly ? i’m terrified i’m going to have to spend eternity alone. ❞

Actions.   ( add a + to reverse the action ! )

[ BITE. ]  the sender bites receiver on the ( neck / wrist / thigh / bodypart ) to drink their blood.

[ TURN. ]  the sender turns the receiver into a vampire.

[ BLOODLUST ]  the sender has gone too long without feeding, base instincts taking over, the receiver finds them. 

[ COFFIN. ]  the sender stumbles upon the receiver sleeping in a coffin. 

[ STAKE. ]  after finding out the receiver is a vampire, the sender tries to stake them. 

[ MIRROR. ]  when passing a mirror, the receiver notices the sender does not have a reflection. 

[ OFFER. ]  after noticing the receiver hasn’t fed in a few days / weeks, the sender offers to let the receiver feed from them.

[ MESS. ]  the sender finds the receiver covered in blood that certainly isn’t their own.

[ LICK. ]  the sender licks blood from the receiver’s wound / finger.

[lathal]

It took a total of about 24 hours of work and I cried three times, but I have my PC mostly set up! She is turning on and I have windows installed and everything, I just need to get the drivers installed and stuff

[lathal]

the salty af munday meme

Because, like it or not, we're not all balls of sunshine all the time. We can be pure salt when we want to be.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

♚ How many people don't like you?

⚜ How many people do you not like?

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

☼ How long do you stay mad?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

❦ Has someone been jealous of you?

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

[lathal]

My favorite sex position is when you love them and they love you back.

[lathal]

WHAT IS MY MUSE AFRAID OF?

In the list below, bold all the fears your muse currently has, italicize all the fears they've worked through or grown out of, answer the questions below, and then pass it on by tagging your favorite muns to participate!

COMMON FEARS & PHOBIAS:

The dark l Small spaces l Suffocation l Water l Thunderstorms l Dogs l Snakes l Spiders l Insects l Clowns l Blood l Dentists l Hospitals l Needles l Germs l Heights l Fire l Insects l Public speaking l Large crowds l Meeting new people l Being alone l Being touched l Failure l Imperfection l Societal rejection l Physical intimacy l Emotional intimacy l Being abandoned l Being forgotten

What other fears do they have? Iveani's biggest fears are loss of bodily autonomy and not being valued. She is also afraid of her kidnapper and lizards. In the past, she was afraid of sleeping in a bed or in areas that were too open, and strongly preferred to sleep on the ground in areas that were more confined, such as a closet. This is a fear that she's worked through with age, although she does prefer to have her bed against a wall if she's sleeping alone. When she was a very young child, she was also terrified of horses.

Of note, Iveani does pretend to be scared of spiders in her DA verse. She is not scared of them. She just didn't want to tell everyone what she actually saw in the fade and came up with an excuse.

Why do they have these fears? Are these fears innate, trauma-based, or generational? Her fears of loss of bodily autonomy, her kidnapper, sleeping in areas that were too accessible, and suffocation are very much caused by being kidnapped and abused for so many years as a child. She was in an environment where she had no control over what he would do to her, and she never wants to be in a situation like that again. Her fear of not being valued is also trauma-related, but in a slightly different way. The way she sees it, if anyone had cared about her to pay any attention at all, it wouldn't have happened. She sees having people who love her as one of the best ways to protect herself from it happening again. This also explains her fears of being abandoned and forgotten, being alone, failure, societal rejection.

Her fear of being alone would fall into both categories. While she was being held captive, she was always either alone or abused, and so it's a direct reminder of that, and it's a form of protection against it happening again.

The fears of lizards and her former fear of horses are innate. She has no explanation for those.

Have they ever tried to work through or confront these fears? How did it go? Iveani has been forced to face many of these fears. In her DA verse, she initially had to face her fear of societal rejection shortly after the conclave. The fact that it was specifically the chantry rejecting her helped. From there, being put into a position of power forced her to confront the possibility of failure, and it is a lonely position to be in. She also had to face the image of her kidnapper in the fade.

tagged by: @pellelavellan

tagging: steal it

[lathal]

One day I will write a post about how Iveani thinks marrying someone and having kids will cure her mental illness, but not today.

[lathal]

Actually sleeping with someone is so nice like waking up in the middle of the night and snuggling closer or lazily giving them a kiss or just feeling their arms around you squeeze slightly even though they're in a deep sleep or handholding while you both are asleep.

[lathal]

If you have a Spotify, you should look up your Intimate mix. Spotify comes up with a personalized playlist for intimate activities for each user, and it is very funny how far off it is.

Some highlights of mine missing the mark include No Children by The Mountain Goats, Body Terror Song by AJJ, The Fruits by Paris Paloma, Flowers of Flesh and Blood by Nicole Dollanganger, and Last Words of a Shooting Star by Mitski.

[lathal]

"I didn't do a very good job pretending to sneak out. My dads know where we are, though, so we don't need to worry about anything too bad happening," Iveani told him, then froze for a moment before she realized what she'd said.

She was allowed to call Nick and Matty her dads, right? Especially Matty. He had been the one to raise her, after all, so he was her dad in all the ways that mattered. She wondered if it may be a little disrespectful to her biological father, but based on what she'd been told about him, she didn't think he'd mind.

Plus, if he would have minded, it didn't really matter anymore.

"Roasted marshmallows sound nice. I have drinks to go with them, if you want," she said, holding up the sodas. "I would offer to see if we have any chocolate for you to have with them, but I don't think we do."

He smiled at her kiss, feeling a little giddy at the affection. "I could have, but I thought it would be more fun pretending to sneak out."

Not that it mattered. Her dads knew him and while he probably wasn't their number one choice for their daughter's boyfriend, they had grown to trust that he'd treat her right and that Ivy wouldn't do anything too incredibly stupid. Plus her transparency in her location was an added bonus to their sanity.

He on the other hand, had no one to really give two shits about where he was or what he did, and he reveled in it. He didn't have to try to sneak out, because his dad didn't give a rat's ass, and was usually at the bar late anyways.

He took her hand, showing a half bag of marshmallows he had brought along. "Thought we could roast 'em if you wanted."

[lathal]

[lathal]

[lathal]

Knowing that people were looking for her had helped Iveani more than she could say while she was being kept captive. She'd imagined them as teams of people who were searching the area without leaving a stone uncovered, and the only reason it was taking them so long was because they were being too meticulous when looking everywhere else. It would only be a matter of time before they finally got to the right house, and they'd find her in the basement and take her home, so she needed to stay alive until then. There were times when she wholeheartedly believed she wouldn't have made it if she didn't have that hope to hold onto. The fact that for most of the time she was gone, no one was coming to save her would be hard to accept.

"Why isn't the fact that he was hurting me a good enough reason to look for me? And couldn't they just ask? I bet most people would be okay with it, except for that man and probably Mom," Iveani said, looking hurt.

Her heart felt heavy as the implications of his statement sunk in. After a moment, she asked, "Was Mom stopping them from looking for me, or did they just not care?"

Matty wrapped an arm reassuringly around her, trying to think of an appropriate answer. There was a lot that went into the investigation, certainly. A lot that she didn't need to know about yet. Her mother had certainly impeded the investigation between her antics and lack of timely reporting, he himself had been looked at briefly as a suspect simply for being someone close to her, and the police couldn't go searching every single house without good cause.

"As much as everyone wanted to, we couldn't search every house in town without reason," he said, finally settling on an answer. "Because people have the right to be free from illegal and unreasonable searches- including their homes and property- the police need to have a good reason to want to look somewhere, and then a judge needs to say it's ok. The police didn't have any indication where you'd gone for quite awhile, so they didn't have any good reason to look at his house where you were held."

Whether that made sense to her or not, he wasn't sure. Watering down legal terms to a level a normal twelve year old could understand was one thing, watering it down enough to someone with her level of education was something else. Especially when you happened to have a law degree.

[lathal]

My poor laptop is on its last legs. I'm going to try building a PC next, but the idea is intimidating.

[lathal]

Iveani didn't feel like she had much to be proud of. All she'd done was fall for someone's trick, ruining her life and causing a lot of trouble for everyone else in the process. She knew it was over now, but picking up the pieces was hard.

Iveani pulled her hands away and adjusted her position on the couch so that she was leaning against her godfather's side. Maybe she was a little too old to be trying to cuddle a parent like this, but she didn't care, and she didn't think Matty did, either. They'd missed out on enough time for her to worry about being too affectionate now.

"Why was I there for so long?" Iveani asked after a moment. She fidgeted with her hands as she spoke. "I know you and the police were looking for me because I heard it on the news once, and I was close by."

The man who had kidnapped her owned many of the homes in the town and rented them out. His tenants were usually satisfied, and he was very popular in their area before the news came out about what he did. For all she knew, maybe Nick or Matty knew him. She'd only been a few minutes away from home until the night in the woods.

Matty smiled, giving her hands a small, reassuring squeeze. "You should continue therapy because it's helping you adjust and learn how to function outside of the situation you were in for so long Ivy. People liking you better with or without therapy shouldn't be part of the equation."

It was a long road ahead of them for sure, having been kidnapped and confined for years and then being freed only to have her mother be a total bitch (as Ivy so elegantly put it) and emotionally abusive and neglectful would do a significant number on anyone. Her childhood was stolen, and yet Matty marveled at how resilient she was.

"Your father would be so proud of you."