laurakendigcollette - Tumblr blog

[laurakendigcollette]

"I just need my space."

Yesterday I improved the life of my bearded dragon, which reminded me of a very important life lesson. We all just need our own space sometimes. It's crazy to me how a little change makes a world of difference.

After noticing that made me realize no matter what species we are- the more space we have, the happier we are. I ended up noticing the space difference for my dogs. When my wife and I had our old house, our dogs had an entire backyard to play in freely. Now they have a small front yard where they have to be tied on a tie out.. They no longer seem as impressed. Causing them to run more in the house. Where our bed normally takes the hit.

[laurakendigcollette]

Be in the moment:

Some have asked me in the past what it means to me to be in the moment.. Once I had a chance to sit and think on it a while I came up with this answer..

To me being in the moment is taking the milliseconds in as if they are a million decades all at once. Be with those that mean the most to you and don't take a second for granted. Spend your time as if it's the last time your doing what ever it may be. Be alert and mentally where your hands are.

[laurakendigcollette]

Found this on Facebook and thought I'd share with y'all.

As I'm about to embark on a new journey in this thing called life- I'm stunned to be completely honest.

I feel very defeated!! I moved back to my stomping grounds damn determined that I was going to make something of it.

But no matter what I've tried- it came back firing at me!! Weather or not I put any effort in, I'm screwed in the end. As no one seems to see things the way I do or how much heart and effort goes behind EVERYTHING I put my hands to doing..

It's all good though as this too shall pass! I know it will. I will come back times 3!!

I've got this and I know I can do it. Unfortunately it'll take a few years to be comfortable but it's when times are hard that we grow the most.

Who's in for the ride with me?

[laurakendigcollette]

Here's my most recent Tiktok video... with this being said- I have always dealt with a tough uphill battle with depression and mental health. Am I okay? Usually no, unfortunately. However what I'll tell you is, "yeah I'm okay" because it's easier- and none of my business has be to broadcasted so y'all can tell me I'm not trying my best when in reality it's my best it's just my last bit of energy.

I have gotten used to be told my best isn't even making an effort. That okay if that's how you see it. I know you cannot possibly see what's going on deep inside where I have to fight my life away just to keep breathing throughout the day.

What about the parts of the day where death comes to mind? Or using thoughts flow rapidly throughout my mind? I'm not trying my best let alone making any effort then?

No? So I'm dead and high. That's great news! 🤣🤣

Exactly what I thought youd say. So glad we finally see eye to eye.

[laurakendigcollette]

I am starting a new mission with my life. I have been feeling very used and poorly treated lately.

With that being said: there will be some much needed change in my life.

1. If I feel disrespected in any form- the boot will be given.

2. If I feel you are a waste of energy in any sense- again the boot will be given.

3. If for any reason a red flag 🚩is shown to me- yet again there will be distance provided.

Why?? I don't have time, mental or physical space for anything remotely toxic in my life. I've come too far and have leaped over soo many hurdles in life. No- I don't expect anyone to slightly understand the slightest bit of trauma or things I've been through. I just know what I'm worth and what my time and energy is worth.

#energy #life #space #health #positivevibes #loveyourself #me #goodvibes #mood #lovemyself #vibes #positivity #motivation #positiveenergy #success #foreverthankful #foreverblessed #mindset #blessed #successmindset

[laurakendigcollette]

"Chances are extremely low"

I hear it all the time "odds are always going to be against me! "

If that's the way you think- then yes you're right. If you ignore all genetic odds, social status, everything that life throws at us that will affect our livelihood as adults.

I can prove that I had all odds against me from the start. Genetically speaking, I should NOT be as high functioning as I am.

Social class status- not much difference there either.

Mental health check- yeah nope I got a list there too.

To top it all off I'm an addict. Which just adds so much to the odds.

Ohh and hold up my existence was damn near impossible to even create.

Should I be where I am in life right now? Absolutely not! I probably should be in a lot less enjoyable living conditions, maybe not even have a full understanding of why I wasn't a "normal" person.

Here I am, with all the odds, oddly on my side:

Aunt

Wife

Best friend

Healthcare employee

Student

Need I go on? Sure my terms of living aren't up to most people's standards BUT for all that's against me- I'm doing phenomenal! And you CANNOT take that away from me.

Keep pushing on, if you think there's even a slight possibility to achieve your goals freaking jump!!

[laurakendigcollette]

"There's only a few roadblocks."

A thing I repeated multiple times to myself while in jail, rehab and in the early days of starting over. Several years down the road- I still repeat this to myself on a regular basis!!

There's a reason this crutch has been dragged alongside me this whole time! It works wonders PLUS it's a simple yet effective reminder that whatever struggle I'm facing at that time isn't permanent. It'll diminish over time.

- that ex that cheated a million time (or multiple ex's)

- the class that just won't end or improve whatsoever

-the living paycheck to paycheck struggle.

-car issues

-family drama/disgraces

No matter what, it all ends up okay. Maybe not immediately but in the long run.

I'm most likely going to still be using it on the day the Lord calls me home.

[laurakendigcollette]

As some may know, I'm a reptile enthusiast.. Once I started my collection my goal was to add a snake. Any snake would do. Then I started researching. Became obsessed with research where all my YouTube is suggesting snake videos 😆

And constant questions to my local shops owner.

It came down between corn snake ans ball python. Today, walking into the store I went and took a peek at the ball pythons they had out. The owner came over in that area, told me about one she had in the back. I then was like "okay bet bring him out. I'll take a glance."

It was game on from there. He is the calmest, perfect size, and over all just a chilled back guy. I didn't think I'd let whatever snake around my neck immediately. However once this guy made it to my shoulder, I knew he was fine. So he made it around my neck no problem.

As you see, he's now home. He's adjusted just fine thus far. I cannot wait to see what the future holds with this guy. 😍

With that said, meet our newest addition, Diablo.

[laurakendigcollette]

Work hard, play hard.

I've always been a firm believer in this above statement! Which I try to live my life by it as well!!

If you work hard for things, the universe will reward you in due time. No matter what your trying to achieve. Lately I've been trying to achieve a more relaxable home. In which I have been able to make a couple of the few adjustments that I can. And have plans on making more in the future.

I'm not saying this to brag. I'm saying this because many I've talked to report that they have dead end lives. 💀 Guess what!! My wife and I have been there!! Just now getting out of there!!

I go to work, and work my A-S-S OFF.. I don't keep much time to relax or for family.. why? Because my wife and I understand thats what it's going to take for us to get started on the path we desperately need. It's unfortunate but that's how it works.

You can too. Need a wing man? I got you!

[laurakendigcollette]

One big thing about me lately is: I've become a PLANNER!! For those that dont know me personally, I have always gone with the flow of things. Planning is organizing. Period. Ive always hated organizing and anything and everything that has to do with it. However lately, planning is such an essential part of my life, it really isn't funny!

So, to help get in the planning habit, I started with the big stuff! Like big events in life I knew were coming. In a few short semesters, I'll graduate community college. What's going to take place afterwards?? I planned that!! Well the basis of it so far and have had a BLAST doing so!

I had even made plans to move into the dorms for the rest of my time in school! They got shut down... that's what I'm here to talk on today! I got denied for the reasons including:

1. I have been convicted of atleast one felony.

2. Almost too old.

For those reasons I got denied. Right when life &as been nothing but perfect lately! Was a rude awakening for sure!

Okay, I'm I'm felon but it has yet to stop me from improving my life yet. If it did God had a much better plan in mind! So I forgot for quite a while having them felonies follow one around CAN and WILL make a impact.

And I'm too old almost‽? How is that a thing? I get they don't want a huge age gap for roommates. But damnnnn. I had yet to get that for anything! That's Def a first for me.

So- what next? I have a spare bedroom in my house that honestly has no set purpose. It now will be my home office/study space! I cannot explain how obsessed I am to make this happen. If nothing else it will be my Zen room disguised as an office!

More content on this will come for sure.

In the meantime, never forget your worth. Just because others may not see it, doesn't mean the next person or group of individuals won't. Don't drop to their level if they can't see high enough to watch you at your best.

[laurakendigcollette]

One thing in life is for certain- nothing is set in stone until it happens!!

03.28.2022 I married my best friend! All my life I always assumed that my marital spouse would be a guy! And most of my young adult/teenage years, I would hate on those that thought marriage of the same sex was even slightly even okay... Even a relative once blocked me because if it!

Yet, here I am in a same sex marriage! And got married by a judge who once sent me to jail! What are the odds of that?!

So what changed?? Me!! I was the one that changed. Which was highly influenced by the people I met and the life events that I experienced!

Nothing is wrong unless it doesn't make you happy. Therefore what's wrong to me, can be more than just alright to you!

These very differences are what makes this world go round!