Now that I'm back to normal, how is everyone?
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Lauren Self-Para
Lauren ran up to her room, images of her sister starved body flashing through her mind. All she could see where the bones, all of them. Then she saw his face. Callie's beautiful, cute, perfect face buried in all the bones. She couldn't help Gwen, and she couldn't help Callie. Somehow she'd missed the signs. Of course his cheekbones weren't that naturally defined. The familiar claw on her heart retuned and her pulse fluttered. She couldn't do anything.
She jumped into her bed, fighting with herself. Lauren thrashed around, silently screaming, simultaneously begging for help and craving solitary. Her heart sped and slowed, going from a hum to silence in minutes. Panic rushed down her spine as she forgot to breath. Suddenly, every breath, every movement, every thought became a battle. It was always a battle, every single time.
She reached into her box. The delicate black velvet ironically contrasted the contents. Lauren pulled out one of the 20 blades. The metal was clean, unused, just like the rest of them. She both honored and hated the fact the she had never actually done it. It made her both strong and weak, and that was the problem. Uncertainly was not to be tolerated, ever. All, she could see was Callie buried in the bones of her baby sister. Bones. Bones. Bones. Lauren brought the blade to her flesh. She inhaled sharply and quickly removed the blade from her arm. The box was slammed shut and hidden once more.
The blonde clutched her knees, the tears streaming into her pants. She panted and screamed, knowing that no one would ever truly hear her. The pain of the blade would have been nothing compared to this. She was locked in hell, and she had made her walls much too strong to break down now......
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Goodnight darling!
Yeah, I should, thanks again, Goodnight Lauren, have a wonderful sleep.
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Ok, well, uh you should get some rest baby. {kisses cheek} Goodnight babe.
I trust you, don’t worry about it..
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I also have this for mystery purposes.....
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Ok, good, um, thank you for being open with me. Thank you...
You’re very nice to speak with, though.. I’ll contact you if things go bad.
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Alright darling, if you want to go to bed, go ahead. I'm glad I could help. Um please please call if you need anything. Uh, call please, or text, or call, or something.
Thank you,I’m drained, I might as well sleep for twelve hours. I really appreciate what you said though, and I’m happy about that.
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I know that this is not helpful at all right now, but you are literally the hottest person here, the end.
But..these people here..I can’t handle feeling this way, they’re all fit, and..
I need to breathe for a moment..
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Don't ever be sorry you brought it up. I'm going to help you though this, we're going to be ok. I promise. Its going to be ok. Its going to be ok. We...we can do this.
lauren-north:
It isn’t your fault though, and I’m sorry that I brought it up sorta, but I just can’t deal with it anymore, and I-thank you, but…
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Yeah, I know. I've gotten the same speech from every fucking school counselor ever.
There’s nothing wrong with not having money. Some families struggle, but they make the most of what they got. And that’s all that matters, right?
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text ✉ lauren
Gwen: events
Lauren: what events??
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Alright, 10 pm tomorrow. We're going out and doing whatever the fuck we want. Dress code: whatever the fuck we want. I'll meet you at my room.
Let’s go out. I spend enough time here already.
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Yes, I should be. I know what its like. My baby sister Gwen had an eating disorder for 2 years. This is something worth an apology. I'm so so sorry you have to deal with this, no one deserves to. Especially not someone as kind, cute, and perfect as you.
You..shouldn’t be..
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text ✉ lauren
Gwen: yeap it's all good
Lauren: well what caused u to tweet tht?????
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