lauriescages

[lauriescages]

Gotta make it something to laugh about, right?

Ear buds are only a good plan if you can get away with not hearing anything else. I work with animals actually, so the sound annoyance is really more about their reaction than mine.

So has anyone figured out how to stop these cute little quakes? I'm getting real tired of the noise upsetting my schedule.

[lauriescages]

I don't fully understand what that means. [User gets lost in a Google rabbit hole looking up "sleep regression"] Bad sleep, huh? Yeah, I can see how that would be not good. I'm grown, and I get a little cranky when I lose sleep too.

No, but if you figure it out, would you let me know? My daughter's three-year sleep regression is one thing, but now she's getting even less sleep thanks to the noise of these quakes. It's really interrupting her natural circadian rhythm, and I'm beginning to worry how it will affect her future endeavors.

[lauriescages]

Do I give off dad vibes to you? Feels a little callous to make a child just to plan on sacrificing them. Or is it worse to sacrifice a child you're already attached to?

You need to sacrifice your firstborn. That is the only way.

[lauriescages]

Unfortunately I am not exactly what you'd call an ideas guy, so if you're looking to me for a brilliant solution, it will be a new norm.

Not sure if 'stopping' them is an option. Feels like this might just be the new normal. You know, Act of God, like earthquakes and tornados. Which means no shattered windows will be covered by insurance. [User is not at all irritated by the quakes, not at all!] If you have any brilliant ideas though, I'd be happy to assist. Hard to concentrate with all the noise.

[lauriescages]

Sorry, thought we were trying to be creative here.

Its called a bow. You don't want it touching the shit on your skin it'd fuck up the strings which would make it a hassle to use to play later.

Just use your hands like a normal person.

[lauriescages]

That sounds like the worst actually. Teenagers seem hard to control in any setting. With a weird random loud noise to get them off task? I feel like that's a good hour or so until they calm down.

Try sitting in a classroom of about 20 teenagers, and the sky starts making that god-awful noise. Especially the first time it happened. I don't think any of us are really having a good time about it. I can only hope it stops soon.

[lauriescages]

You know now that you say it, libraries feel like an underutilized horror location. I guess you'll be a sacrifice for the betterment of cinema.

or more likely Janice left a half eaten jelly donut lying around near there

god I hope not. If birds start coming in droves to the library to read, I'm going to wind up like a woman in a Hitchcock film. I'm really hoping it's just a weird coincidence.

[lauriescages]

what's your favorite ice cream flavor

Look, I could tell you something fancy or frufru, but why? It's chocolate. Why mess with a good thing? Why overcomplicate something that's good just how it is.

[lauriescages]

MICHAEL B. JORDAN on snl

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[lauriescages]

But can he defend himself with the cello stick? Wand? Whatever the thing you play it with is called. Either way, I agree.

You can't just leave a one star review because I taught your kid to kick some other kids ass. The brat can play the cello and defend himself that should at least be two stars.

Should be glad I bothered to do either.

[lauriescages]

I was just asking. Keep your shirt on about it. I'm not saying my problems are unique here. I'm sure you've got incredibly important things being bothered too.

If someone had figured out how to stop them, don't you think they would have done so by now? We've all got our schedules upset by it.

[lauriescages]

That's bird science, right? Crazy coincidence. Or maybe the birds are smarter than we give them credit for. Maybe they've started reading. That's terrifying.

Not yet, much to my chagrin. A bird got into the library the other day and made its way down into the archives because of the quakes. I found it making a nest on top of an ornithology book, of all things.

[lauriescages]

So has anyone figured out how to stop these cute little quakes? I'm getting real tired of the noise upsetting my schedule.

[lauriescages]

BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER (2022) dir. Ryan Coogler ››› Michael B. Jordan as N'Jadaka / Erik “Killmonger” Stevens

[lauriescages]

That Kind of Night || Self-Writing

Location: Grit Pit Content Warning: References to violence

Laurie cussed quietly to himself as he listened to the baukbear scream as the lamina  held it down under the light. As dingy as this place could be sometimes, Laurie knew they’d only had it on to try and make it a fair fight. But he’d only just gotten the lighting to his liking around the baukbear cage. What? Was he just supposed to go out and find another one? Not fucking likely. If his bosses wanted a new one when that one had died so quickly, they could send somebody else. 

Turning away from the fight, Laurie grabbed a rag to wipe his hands with before heading down toward the cages. That fight had been shorter than anticipated, so they’d probably try to squeeze in another. He needed to check the feeding schedule and figure out what would be smart to send. Technically that wasn’t his job either, but Laurie liked to be ready for the occasions where he did get asked.

“Hedge hound versus hellhound?” he got asked as he was flipping through his paperwork.

Laurie didn’t even look up. “Come on, Jack. Would anyone even bet on the hedge hound in that?” he asked. “No way the hedge hound can strangle fast enough to avoid being burned?”

“Well, maybe that’s the angle,” Jack mused. “Can the hedge hound kill the hellhound before it’s forced to regenerate? We make the odds stay with no, give ‘em a chance to bet on the longshot. Make a little money on a last minute fight.” He shrugged and patted Laurie on the back. “Good thinking. Get them ready.”

Laurie grumbled to himself as he headed toward the hedge hound cage. He kept grumbling as a few others stepped in to help get the beasts upstairs and into cages on either side of the pit ring. Once the bell rang and the cages were opened, Laurie leaned against the wall, barely caring enough to watch. As predicted, the hellhound burned hot and ended things rather quickly. But at least that meant both were going back to the cages. One less thing he’d have to hear about later.

The action continued in the ring, but since it was two part-timers against each other, neither was anything Laurie needed to care about. He went about his nightly routine, heading down the hall over and over with buckets of fresh meat, rotting meat, specialty plants, and anything else needed in the night’s food schedule. He had his beasts’ cage locations memorized by this point, and Laurie could let his mind wander some while working. He occasionally risked putting in earbuds, but not being able to hear the beasts always put him on edge. 

“Easy night?” Jack asked, leaning against the wall in Laurie’s resource room as things upstairs must have wrapped up.

“Go fuck yourself,” Laurie responded without any heat. “Explain to me why that light was close enough to sunshine to actually kill my baukbear?”

“Your baukbear?” Jack repeated instead of answering the question.

Laurie rolled his eyes and filled another bucket of grains to finish out tonight’s feed list. “I’m the one who had to do all that work to get ready for it, so yeah. Mine. All this work to keep these beasts alive, and what thanks do I get? Certainly none from them, and then you let your prize fighter kill something that should be hard to kill in this setting.”

Jack shrugged. “Not my prize fighter any more than your baukbear. Neither of us gets paid enough for those claims.”

Laurie snorted and raised the bucket in a sort of toast. “All right, fine. I’ll give you that.”